Top 100 You're A Jerk Quotes

#1. I think you need a concrete, real-world metaphor to talk about inner life without feeling like a jerk.

Tift Merritt

You're A Jerk Quotes #9273
#2. How can you be so nice to me and how can you forgive me when I've been such a jerk?"
Maddy appears to think for a moment. "When you are reading a book and you finish a chapter, you don't keep re-reading the chapter you just finished. You move on to the next chapter to see what happens.

Stephen Reid Andrews

You're A Jerk Quotes #9597
#3. You're gay," wash stated.
Rhodes nodded, a short jerk of his head, dropping his gaze to his beer.
"As in, you-like-men gay."
Still eying his beer, Rhodes gave an affirmative shrug.
"As in, you like-to-fuck-men gay."
"Yes!

Katie Allen

You're A Jerk Quotes #25635
#4. I want to give you back your first kiss, the one that jerk stole from
you. And I want it to be something that even a coma can't make you
forget.

Shelly Crane

You're A Jerk Quotes #45729
#5. He's a jerk."

"No Luminista. He's a young man who loves you but doesn't know how to treat you right yet. You have to show him how. Show him that you can take what he dishes out without crumbling. That you're beautiful and strong, and he should lift you up, not tear you down.

Ednah Walters

You're A Jerk Quotes #62207
#6. I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway.

Maha Erwin

You're A Jerk Quotes #82401
#7. We never have as great an opportunity to show self-comfort as when others around us aren't. Hint: Don't be a jerk because someone else is. Praise the behaviors in others that you most want to flourish.

Kare Anderson

You're A Jerk Quotes #96911
#8. You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.

Brandon Sanderson

You're A Jerk Quotes #133492
#9. I know that I was a total jerk for a few weeks. But I do trust you," Fitz told Sophie. "I hope you trust me.

Shannon Messenger

You're A Jerk Quotes #150291
#10. I will never grow thick skin so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

Dan Pearce

You're A Jerk Quotes #192703
#11. Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it.

David Levithan

You're A Jerk Quotes #192805
#12. How can you possibly think I'd want you to sacrifice yourself to save me? As if there wasn't enough danger, now I have to worry you'll take a bullet for me."
My arms crossed as his anger ignited my own.
"As if, you jerk. You can take your own stupid bullet.

Corrine Jackson

You're A Jerk Quotes #199315
#13. We overweight people, we say terrible things to ourselves. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. 'You fat pig. How can you do this? You're a disgusting jerk.' And that gets you nowhere. That gets you right back into a bowl of pasta fregula.

Richard Simmons

You're A Jerk Quotes #220298
#14. If you run into one jerk in a day, that person is a jerk. If everyone you run into all day is a jerk, maybe you are the jerk.

Brian Iverson

You're A Jerk Quotes #258169
#15. What do you say, Pooh?"
Pooh opened his eyes with a jerk and said, "Extremely."
"Extremely what?" asked Rabbit.
"What you were saying," said Pooh. "Undoubtably.

A.A. Milne

You're A Jerk Quotes #266909
#16. If you're courting me, you have to tell me something about yourself that no one else knows."
He was silent for a moment. "I'd rather jerk-off to thoughts of you than be with anyone else.

Katie Reus

You're A Jerk Quotes #277211
#17. A person with grace is somebody who's socially graceful or is a classy person, but sometimes you just feel the opposite of that, and you just feel like a jerk and a loser and a weirdo.

Matt Berninger

You're A Jerk Quotes #279934
#18. She'd cried loudly enough that the man sitting across from her had offered her a tissue, and she'd screamed, what do you think you're looking at jerk? At him, because that was what you did in New York. After that she felt a little better.

Cassandra Clare

You're A Jerk Quotes #291941
#19. Most people, when they think of an insult, they keep it to themselves. But you wouldn't believe the things people say on my Twitter feed, and I'm a nice guy. Imagine if I was a jerk.

Jeff Ross

You're A Jerk Quotes #324698
#20. It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?

Rob Riggle

You're A Jerk Quotes #332577
#21. As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk.

Neil Young

You're A Jerk Quotes #333477
#22. Because when a guy's a jerk or an asshole, it's easier because you know exactly where you stand.

David Levithan

You're A Jerk Quotes #344441
#23. If I was to interrupt this article every few sentences, asking you whether or not I was making a good impression on you, I hope and believe that you would think I was a servile jerk. Yet this is what our politicians are doing in every speech.

Christopher Hitchens

You're A Jerk Quotes #345385
#24. I'm safe, even if I'm a jerk."
"I have friends who will hunt you down and kill you if I go missing.

Susan May Warren

You're A Jerk Quotes #351540
#25. True friends are the ones who will tell you when you are being a jerk or worse and still hang out with you.

Darrin Wiggins

You're A Jerk Quotes #366802
#26. I think you're nice to me and that scares the fuck out of me. Because when a guy's a jerk or an asshole, it's easier because you know where you stand.

Rachel Cohn

You're A Jerk Quotes #387531
#27. If you could jerk off to something else, like a hamburger, could you imagine the delight in being alive?

Jonathan Goldstein

You're A Jerk Quotes #388933
#28. The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk, with full knowledge that the person you married has agreed, no matter how large a horse's ass you are, to stay by your side until death. A fool could tell you this is a bad deal.

Adriana Trigiani

You're A Jerk Quotes #390922
#29. Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk"
SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it.

Tucker Max

You're A Jerk Quotes #396336
#30. Maybe she'd remember him as a pain in the ass. Or maybe, he hoped most of all, that she'd remember what she told him: "You can be a real jerk sometimes, but you're decent."
As epitaphs went, it wasn't bad.

Dani Harper

You're A Jerk Quotes #412498
#31. Even thought you've been acting like a jerk all night, you're still here. I could tell you were angry. So you're angry; at least you're something. You're not nothing anymore.

Jennifer R. Hubbard

You're A Jerk Quotes #420266
#32. I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

Jim Gaffigan

You're A Jerk Quotes #422143
#33. Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think, if I knew this person they'd be my best friend. Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk.

Judith Guest

You're A Jerk Quotes #424616
#34. Ron gave a tiny jerk of the head that Harry understood to mean, Well - if you must.

J.K. Rowling

You're A Jerk Quotes #427497
#35. The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.

Molly Harper

You're A Jerk Quotes #439991
#36. I'm grieving over what a jerk you are...

Maria Semple

You're A Jerk Quotes #447214
#37. As you get to know me, you kind of figure me out, that I'm not as probably as bad of a guy that I've been reported to be. I'm not that jerk.

Terrell Owens

You're A Jerk Quotes #457728
#38. I'm sorry. I behaved like a jerk.
You did.
Is that forgiveness?
I'm not sure. I think it's an acknowledgment of imperfection. And an admission that I believe time is too short to hold a grudge.

Janet Mullany

You're A Jerk Quotes #468576
#39. Good night, Gabriel.' [Kaitlyn] said
You jerk
[Gabriel] widened his eyes. 'Don't you want to stay? It's a big bed.

L.J.Smith

You're A Jerk Quotes #469201
#40. THEO: Who do you picture when you think of me?
MORGAN: Papa Smurf.
THEO: Do you have a camera in here somewhere?
MORGAN: Yes, Theo. I watch you jerk off to smurf porn every night.

Con Riley

You're A Jerk Quotes #470118
#41. The telephone is a great knee-jerk machine, but if you really want to tell someone how you feel, you need the slowness of the letter. In a society where everything is fast, it's like going out in the country and looking up at the stars.

Nick Bantock

You're A Jerk Quotes #498081
#42. The danger in reviewing and teaching literature for a living (is) you can develop a kind of knee-jerk superiority to the material you're decoding

Maureen Corrigan

You're A Jerk Quotes #505264
#43. It just goes to show you - for every woman you jerk off to, there's a tired husband/boyfriend/significant other jerking off to some other bitch. October

Asa Akira

You're A Jerk Quotes #519825
#44. There's nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that.

Reza Aslan

You're A Jerk Quotes #541185
#45. I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

Zach Braff

You're A Jerk Quotes #548259
#46. That's the thing about slippery slopes. Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you've completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie.

Lauren Blakely

You're A Jerk Quotes #575537
#47. You make a lot of films, do you? You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah, I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it. What a jerk.

George Clooney

You're A Jerk Quotes #578908
#48. Dealing with Dillan being a jerk can mess up any saint on a good day. And you know I'm no saint.

Kate Evangelista

You're A Jerk Quotes #603609
#49. You are such a jerk! Get back here!"
"Jerk?" he repeated. " You're the one spying in windows.

Becca Fitzpatrick

You're A Jerk Quotes #603799
#50. People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.

Anthony Jeselnik

You're A Jerk Quotes #616579
#51. If you don't feel the same way about him, if you're just leading him on, you need to tell him that. I've seen too many nice guys get shafted because a girl can't get over some jerk.

Nenia Campbell

You're A Jerk Quotes #626131
#52. You have to be courageous in life to allow a lightness to engage your being. It is easy to be a jerk. To be unhappy with all this weird stuff around us just seems to me to be such a waste. That's a jerk.

Frederick Lenz

You're A Jerk Quotes #668628
#53. I feel like my own background in improv and doing documentaries makes me really comfortable with a situation where you're letting things unfold and you don't have to be a jerk, stomping his feet, trying to get his way on everything.

Seth Gordon

You're A Jerk Quotes #689231
#54. When the cow jerks away, it'll yank the door open."
"But what's going to make the cow jerk away?" asked Little Richard.
"You're going to milk it," said Slank.
"But I don't know how to milk a cow!" said Little Richard.
"Exactly.

Dave Barry

You're A Jerk Quotes #723043
#55. You know, I always suspected you were the kind of guy to jerk off to your own reflection, but this is a step too far.

Melanie Marchande

You're A Jerk Quotes #723654
#56. The little people will get even, which is one of a thousand reasons why they are not little people at all. If you're a jerk as a leader, you will be torpedoed. And usually it won't be by your vice presidents; it will be on the loading dock at 3am when no supervisors are around.

Tom Peters

You're A Jerk Quotes #724158
#57. I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this."
"I meant the baby, Jerk."
"Attached to me."
"You think you're cute, don't you?"
"Are you honestly asking me this? I know you're not debating it.

Pella Grace

You're A Jerk Quotes #732556
#58. People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk.

Rob Huebel

You're A Jerk Quotes #776065
#59. A slow, wry smile teased Daemon's lips. "Simmer down, Kitten, before I have to get you a ball of yarn to play with."
Annoyance flared deep inside me. "Don't start with me, jerk-face.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

You're A Jerk Quotes #783013
#60. If you dress or look in ways that scream "jerk", "douchebag" or "terrorist", don't expect to enjoy meaningful social interactions on a regular basis, buddy! Now,

Robert Moore

You're A Jerk Quotes #796083
#61. Lean down a minute first," he says. "Need to tell you something." I lean over and put my good ear to his lips, which tickle as he whispers. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it." I jerk my head back but end up laughing. "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind.

Suzanne Collins

You're A Jerk Quotes #810047
#62. Okay. What do I have to do?"
"Unless you plan on creating a door and walking the Paths alone, you really ought to take my hand."
"I mean when we get there, you jerk.

Kiersten White

You're A Jerk Quotes #816185
#63. This is a terrible plan," he says to Han Solo - Solo, who crouches down so as not to be seen. Han Solo, the jerk. The very handsome, very charismatic jerk. "And I hate you very much.

Chuck Wendig

You're A Jerk Quotes #899967
#64. Since the only way you are going to find solutions to painful problems is by thinking deeply about them - i.e., reflecting - if you can develop a knee-jerk reaction to pain that is to reflect rather than to fight or flee, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.

Ray Dalio

You're A Jerk Quotes #913241
#65. You don't scare me," he added.
"Oh, but I should."
"I'll never be scared by a girl."
"Oh so now you're not only a complete jerk, but your sexist too. Real nice, Radder."
"Thank you," he said, "your offenses mean nothing.

Ellie A. Gray

You're A Jerk Quotes #917973
#66. He's not an JERK, he's just a JERK to you!

Renee Wade

You're A Jerk Quotes #934407
#67. I fall in love with characters when they're out of their element or are uncomfortable and you really feel for them in a knee-jerk sympathetic way.

Anna Kendrick

You're A Jerk Quotes #934968
#68. Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk.

Jim Gaffigan

You're A Jerk Quotes #944048
#69. Don't point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off. That's how a real politician defers blame.

Jarod Kintz

You're A Jerk Quotes #947901
#70. You're a jerk,' repeated the alien, 'a complete asshole.

Douglas Adams

You're A Jerk Quotes #954331
#71. You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.

Chuck Klosterman

You're A Jerk Quotes #964199
#72. No, I'm not a jerk, Astrid. You know what I am? I'm the guy getting people killed," Sam said quietly. Then, "My head is exploding from it. I can't get my brain around it. I can't do this. I can't be that guy, Astrid, I'm a kid ...

Michael Grant

You're A Jerk Quotes #965001
#73. How long will you be gone?" I asked just to make very clear how I didn't enjoy getting ditched.
"As long as it takes. When I get back, I'll kiss you until you can't stand."
"Stop with the threats. I'll miss you even if you're a jerk.

Bijou Hunter

You're A Jerk Quotes #966671
#74. There's a saying that when you go on traveling tours, you get to know whom the designated jerk is going to be within three days, and if you don't know it by then, you're the jerk.

Carolyn See

You're A Jerk Quotes #985504
#75. Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"

Jim Gaffigan

You're A Jerk Quotes #1016666
#76. I entered Excessive Modesty Mode. Nothing is stupider and more ineffective than Excessive Modesty Mode. It is a mode in which you show that you're modest by arguing with someone who is trying to compliment you. Essentially, you are going out of your way to try to convince someone that you're a jerk.

Jesse Andrews

You're A Jerk Quotes #1033127
#77. Success is not about money and power. Real success is about relationships. There's no point in making $50 million a year if your teenager thinks you're a jerk and you spend no time with your wife.

Christopher Reeve

You're A Jerk Quotes #1073069
#78. Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.

Jonah Goldberg

You're A Jerk Quotes #1136661
#79. It's music rage, which is like road rage, only more righteous. When you get road rage, a tiny part of you knows you're being a jerk, but when you get music rage, you're carrying out the will of God, and God wants these people dead

Nick Hornby

You're A Jerk Quotes #1286825
#80. You have to admit you're a jerk and that everything was all your fault." "So, like, what men are supposed to do in general," I said.

Gillian Flynn

You're A Jerk Quotes #1294249
#81. You don't know anything about me."
"Everything I need to know is written all over your face."
"Right now the only thing my face should be conveying is that it thinks you're a jerk."
He bowed his head as if to say, exactly.

Kasie West

You're A Jerk Quotes #1306132
#82. When I say I love you and you don't believe me, you're being a jerk. Basically what you're saying is I only love conditionally. You think you're being self-deprecating and funny, but you're really saying I'm not a good enough person to love you if you have a few flaws. It gets old.

Donald Miller

You're A Jerk Quotes #1375470
#83. Hey, Hot Stuff, Can't wait till you get over that guy you were with. He sounds like a real jerk. Hope it's soon. You're way too tasty to be alone for too long. Come find me. I'm out here waiting. Your Future

Greg Behrendt

You're A Jerk Quotes #1411504
#84. Having been bullied growing up, it's something that's really near and dear to my heart. You probably won't have many friends on Snapchat if you're being a jerk.

Evan Spiegel

You're A Jerk Quotes #1457559
#85. Hello-o-o-o-o, Nick," I said, hitting thek hard. "You're the world's biggest jerk for what you did to Jax. You ever show your scrawny face in Cincinnati again, and I'm going to shove a broomstick up your ass and set it on fire. You got that?

Kim Harrison

You're A Jerk Quotes #1505188
#86. I want someone who builds people up, not tears them down. I need someone who makes me laugh and isn't afraid to rib me when I'm being a royal jerk.' She smiled a little. 'You're that girl. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it.

Jen Calonita

You're A Jerk Quotes #1505682
#87. Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of.

Greg Behrendt

You're A Jerk Quotes #1544627
#88. You're either humble or you're not. If you were a jerk before the fame, you just become a jerk with a bigger spotlight. Whoever you are really comes through.

Oprah Winfrey

You're A Jerk Quotes #1552101
#89. My father used to say that if a man fools you once, he's a jerk. If he fools you twice, you're a jerk. Only he didn't use the word "jerk."

Ellen Goodman

You're A Jerk Quotes #1552349
#90. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but you're the one who's been hot and cold with me. I wasn't planning on chasing around after you, waiting for you to decide I'm worthy. I don't work that way.

Nyrae Dawn

You're A Jerk Quotes #1564029
#91. There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there's no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you're the one who ends up looking like a jerk.

Travis Bradberry

You're A Jerk Quotes #1578679
#92. Someone will love you, Miss Ruiz. Even if you're a jerk." "Fuck you, Reed," she sobbed.

C.J. Roberts

You're A Jerk Quotes #1647301
#93. All magic is 'Here's a quarter, now it's gone. You're a jerk. Now it's back. You're an idiot. Show's over.'

Jerry Seinfeld

You're A Jerk Quotes #1718739
#94. Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

Greg Behrendt

You're A Jerk Quotes #1747273
#95. You can be a really nasty, selfish little jerk when you're scared enough. I was scared enough.

Robin McKinley

You're A Jerk Quotes #1752890
#96. There are a lot of things about having money that are perceived to be cool but that aren't. Maybe if you're a CEO jerk who likes going coast to coast by himself in a G4, then that's fine. But that's not me. And it never will be.

Nolan Bushnell

You're A Jerk Quotes #1770585
#97. You are not my sunshine. Sorry. You're more like a gust of arctic wind that bursts in and blows out all the candles when the door cracks open.

Richelle E. Goodrich

You're A Jerk Quotes #1802980
#98. The doo-wop stalker love song on a Cincinnati oldies station
you broke up with me because I was an obnoxious jerk and now you're dating him, so I drive by your house and stare in your window every night, thereby proving that I'm an even bigger creep than you thought

Sarah Vowell

You're A Jerk Quotes #1803325
#99. Sometimes, when you're not being a jerk, I like you so much it hurts. I like the way your true self comes out when you think no one else is looking.

Kylie Scott

You're A Jerk Quotes #1806206
#100. The Worst part of acting like a jerk isn't when you're doing it. Its when you realize you were.

Pete Wentz

You're A Jerk Quotes #1833525

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