Top 100 Moron Quotes
#2. I have never been able to see how a thirty-year old moron can vote more wisely than a fifteen-year old genius ...
Robert A. Heinlein
#3. I felt the little beads of sweat pooling on my temple. Sit here and look nice ... I could do that. But answer questions? I knew I wasn't going to win this little game; that wasn't the issue. I just really, really didn't want to look like a moron in front of the entire country.
Kiera Cass
#4. They would try to make me into a moron who liked television and new cars and frozen food. Don't you understand? Psychiatry is worse than communism. I refuse to be brainwashed. I won't be a robot!
John Kennedy Toole
#5. I asked Mr. Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr. Vann said that you don't need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.
Sue Townsend
#6. I think President Bush is a moron! I think that the only reason he was voted into office is because his family is a very founded political family and they have a lot of power in the world.
Cristian Machado
#7. I think anyone who is famous is a moron if they're on Twitter. It's just stupid.
George Clooney
#8. The new moron in town is Chad Ford of ESPN.
Mark Cuban
#9. President Bush is a friend of mine. He's not a moron at all.
Jean Chretien
#10. I'm not a moron, but science fiction to me requires a suspension of disbelief and honest curiosity or fascination in that kind of bullshit. I've just never been able to make that jump, really. I like things to be more organic.
Marc Maron
#11. My best friend, Pradeep, who lives next door, says that 'moron' is a big-brother word for little brothers. His brother Sanj, who's also mostly evil, calls him that too.
Mo O'Hara
#12. I did just make an arse out of myself though. I bumped into the hottest guy I've ever seen in the toilet and just stared at him like some kind of moron. Think David Gandy but younger.
Nicola Haken
#13. Whatever it took to get elected president of the United States, I don't think being a complete and utter moron is one of those predicates.
James Woods
#14. Yes, I would loved to have just sustained myself through my art, but less than one in a billion musicians gets that life. So rather than being like, 'I'm an exception!', like a moron, I thought I'd get a real job.
Mary Lambert
#15. I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
Jasper Carrott
#16. (I've often noticed that people equate "having a sense of humour" with "being an insensitive moron.")
Sophie Kinsella
#17. The only things more pathetic than a moron are the ones who follow him. She
Laurann Dohner
#18. Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.
Glenn Beck
#19. There are now unmistakeable signs of a trend in favor of superior products at premium prices. The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife.
David Ogilvy
#20. An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole
Larry David
#21. Far below, I heard Cacus bellowing as millions, maybe even thousands of filthy gallons of water slammed into him. Meanwhile, Annabeth alternately shouted, gagged, hit me, called me endearing pet names like, "Idiot! Stupid
dirty
moron
" and topped it all off with "Kill you!
Rick Riordan
#22. Ehud was tall and strong and was always quiet. Lots of people thought that Ehud was quiet because he was stupid. That wasn't true. He may not have been the smartest kid on the block, but he was no moron either.
Etgar Keret
#23. It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity.
Lewis Black
#24. Sir, the only problem is that you're a complete fucking moron," I said.
Ernest Cline
#25. How do you politely explain to someone that you had believed for years he was a moron as well as a Fool?
Fitz in Assassin's Apprentice
Robin Hobb
#26. Subtly but definitively? Isn't that an oxymoron, you moron?
Lauren Gallagher
#27. Geniuses don't become geniuses until they find the right moron to compare themselves to.
James McGregor
#28. After riding like a moron all over the place, observe the face of an Indian when he crashes. He is stunned.
Manu Joseph
#29. Only a heathen brings a gun to a sword fight."
"Only a moron brings a sword to a gunfight.
Derek Landy
#30. Just as any moron can destroy a priceless Ming vase, so the shallow and ill-educated people who run our schools can undermine and destroy from within a great civilization that took centuries of dedicated effort to create and maintain.
Thomas Sowell
#31. Michael's babble is delivered with the intensity and cadence of an Obama speech. People are compelled to respond in kind, but then Michael will just look at them like, "That's not what I said at all, you moron." They
Jim Gaffigan
#33. There is no place so benighted and godforsaken that some moron won't go there on vacation. People could be living in an open sewer and swallowing dirt to stop the hunger, and there'd be a couple from Larchmont wearing comfortable shoes there to take pictures of them.
Thomas Perry
#34. I think I might have a disorder where your emotions frequently malfunction and a lot of the time you're sitting there feeling something inappropriate. It should be called Emotional Moron Disorder
Jesse Andrews
#35. You're not a moron. You're only a case of arrested development.
Ernest Hemingway,
#36. If she'd been the slightest bit more patient, she wouldn't have called her future husband a moron. Oh, he was at times, but it was kinder to let him think she didn't know.
Lexi Blake
#37. For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.
Nick Hornby
#38. If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Dov Davidoff
#39. Hunting humans for sport? Eating them?" the bitterness in his voice cut through me. "Yeah, I caught that part."
"That doesn't have anything to do with you?
He lifted his eyes, gaze shuttered. "No?"
"Not unless being a werewolf transforms you into a wolf AND a redneck moron.
Kelley Armstrong
#40. Joey, like an idiot, began clucking and calling to the calf, which only startled it into motion, and it raced off to join its parents.
"Moron," said Avani in a low voice.
"Oh, come on. What's the matter, Canada, did they confiscate your sense of humor at the airport?
Jessica Khoury
#41. You whiny little piece of shit," Rogan growled. Another punch. "We don't kill civilians. We don't show off in public and scare people." Another punch. "We don't abuse our power, you fucking moron. You're a disgrace.
Ilona Andrews
#42. Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
Dennis Miller
#43. You're such a little moron, aren't you? They will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. It's nothing personal, just business. It's all about survival, dear boy." Drusilla Blackwood
Kathy Cyr
#44. The thing about photography is, some people surround themselves with extremely strong subject matter. And unless you're a moron, you're going to get a really strong photograph.
Andy Summers
#45. If that moron had told me you had women with you, I'd have let you in a lot sooner
Dan Wells
#46. But would the perpetual flux and reflux of individualism reduce all personality to the level of mass consciousness? Would American culture remain neither bourgeois nor proletarian, but infantile? Would the moron, instead of the meek, inherit democracy?
Ellen Glasgow
#47. Macke went to the door. He looked at the three women: the maid, the wife, and the daughter. "All this trouble," he said, "for the sake of an eight-year-old moron. I will never understand you people.
Ken Follett
#48. He said it like he assumed I knew what the grandfather paradox was, because, if I didn't know, then I was a moron. I hate when people do that.
Rick Yancey
#49. You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron.
Ilona Andrews
#50. I was being a moron again. Of course, he was just saying what needed to be said.
Stormy Smith
#51. The computer, being a mechanical moron, can handle only quantifiable data.
Peter Drucker
#52. Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy Borowitz
#53. If you cannot work on the marriage or the women is a moron, staying married and cheating makes the most sense because divorce is disruptive to the family life and your bank account.
Al Goldstein
#54. Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
Eoin Colfer
#55. Okay," Crick said, rolling his eyes. "I give. Which part of my body is more interesting than my ass?"
Deacon rewarded his obtuseness with a smack to the head. "Your heart, you fuckin' moron ...
Amy Lane
#56. My dad should have listened to me when I told him that college was not my thing. Instead, he insisted on learning a $200,000 lesson the hard way. That's the thing about college - you pay a ton of money just to realize that everyone is a fucking moron.
Babe Walker
#57. Anyone who says that Iran will commit suicide with its nuclear power is a moron and has no business in discussion.
Reza Aslan
#58. On Packing My Own Lunch
You have to pack a sandwich. It can't just be cookies and bullshit ... No, I said if you packed it yourself, you could pack it how you want it, not pack it like a moron.
Justin Halpern
#59. A person may be a moron or an imbecile if he is lacking in judgment; but with good judgment he can never be either. Indeed the rest of the intellectual faculties seem of little importance in comparison with judgment.
Alfred Binet
#60. This isn't a strength, Aunt True," I said, "but it's dark in here."
"That's because it's nighttime, you moron!" scoffed Danny.
Heather Vogel Frederick
#61. It's an absurdity. An Alpha-decanted, Alpha-conditioned man would go mad if he had to do Epsilon Semi-moron work - go mad, or start smashing things up.
Aldous Huxley
#62. Do you have any problems, other than that you're unemployed, a moron, and a dork?
John McEnroe
#63. Every person, genius or moron, has a right to reproduce himself.
Lee Kuan Yew
#65. Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.
Clive James
#66. What's amazing about Bayrou, what makes him irreplaceable," Tanneur enthused, "is that he's an utter moron.
Michel Houellebecq
#67. Because if you're basically a moron at something, it's better to be a private moron than a public one.
Carrie Ryan
#68. I know I mispronounce things constantly, because maybe I read more than I talk, but I don't know the proper way to say a lot of things, even though I know what they are. But then I know I look like a moron.
Amy Heckerling
#69. The writer must be four people: 1) The nut, the obsede 2) The moron 3) The stylist 4) The critic. 1 supplies the material; 2 lets it come out; 3 is taste; 4 is intelligence.
Susan Sontag
#70. But I had loved him. A part of me still did. Maybe more than a part of me, because I'm a complete moron.
Meg Cabot
#71. For my next trick, I will win a staring contest with the moron in orange sunglasses.
Marissa Meyer
#72. A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. you're a moron. I have nothing to say, you know?
Billie Joe Armstrong
#73. First they didn't believe in evolution. Then they didn't believe in global warming. Now the debt ceiling. What I call 'the moron trifecta.'
Bill Maher
#74. What kind of moron wants to be a gladiator?
Kate Quinn
#75. A consumer is not a moron. She's your wife. Don't insult her intelligence, and don't shock her.
David Ogilvy
#76. Meetings: "They often include at least one moron who inevitably
gets his turn to waste everyone's time
with nonsense".
Jason Fried
#77. A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron?
Jay Leno
#78. Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them?
Madeleine L'Engle
#79. I know what falling off the cliff means. I know from being considered a very bright kid to being considered like a moron and dropping out of school.
Walter Dean Myers
#80. What kind of moron would go to work for half the amount of money, when they could sit at home and collect what's written in a contract?
Bill Goldberg
#81. An apostate scientist, a kidnapped scientist, a dull peasant, a two-headed monster, an apple-brained moron
five knives, counting Joe-Jim as one; five brains, counting Joe-Jim as two and Bobo as none
five brains and five knives to overthrow an entire culture.
Robert A. Heinlein
#83. If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are.
Alice Cooper
#84. VLADIMIR: Moron!
ESTRAGON: Vermin!
VLADIMIR: Abortion!
ESTRAGON: Morpion!
VLADIMIR: Sewer-rat!
ESTRAGON: Curate!
VLADIMIR: Cretin!
ESTRAGON: (with finality). Crritic!
VLADIMIR: Oh!
He wilts, vanquished, and turns away.
Samuel Beckett
#85. Any contractor who would construct a flat-roofed, two-storey building in Northern New Hampshire was enough of a moron to not know how many assholes a human being had.
John Irving
#86. When you cut pieces from the truth to avoid sounding like a fool, you end up sounding like a moron instead.
Robin Hobb
#87. It was an especially wonderful time to be a noisy moron.
Bill Bryson
#88. The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.
H.L. Mencken
#89. The vampire who lived here was either a total loser or really liked the monster image. Really, if he couldn't be a rich vampire, then he was a moron.
Caroline Hanson
#90. There's always been some moron-who usually went by the name of 'producer' - who would have to justify his existence, and interfere.
Frank Tashlin
#91. An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Johnny Carson
#92. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust our legal system
Neil Gaiman
#93. I found after seventy years that I was not a lunatic but a moron ... I should have been able to do better.
Ezra Pound
#94. See, this is the other side of the coin. This is a girl's downfall. The guy goes soft in the head and starts talking to her like a moron and she wants to take care of him. He's just cuddly fool who can't make it without her.
Tim Tharp
#95. Every great thinker is someone else's moron.
Umberto Eco
#96. Some people think I'm a total moron and I would hope most people think I'm very good at what I do.
Dan Abrams
#97. I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
#98. Moron?" I asked, trying to lighten the suddenly tense mood. She covered her eyes with one hand. "It was the best I could come up with on the spot. Now that he's gone, I have so many bitchier things to say." Her chin trembled, and I was the one that felt like a moron. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
Rachel Higginson
#99. I am just really focused in on what I love doing, but I would be a moron to not take some of my natural talent - I'm not saying I'm that talented, but I have enough acting and writing talent to go.
Jen Kirkman
#100. Whoever said it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all was a moron.
Kim Askew
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