Top 100 Frank Zappa Quotes
#1. Nothing I've ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody.
Frank Zappa
#2. Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.
Frank Zappa
#3. I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.
Frank Zappa
#4. Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.
Frank Zappa
#5. Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned
I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.
Frank Zappa
#6. The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages.
Frank Zappa
#7. Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes
America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we
have tolerated the last eight years?
Frank Zappa
#8. Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die.
Frank Zappa
#9. Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.
Frank Zappa
#10. In every language, the first word after "Mama!" that every kid learns to say is "Mine!" A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say "Mine!" when you grow up, has
Frank Zappa
#11. Scientology , how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ?
Frank Zappa
#12. This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
Stink Foot
Frank Zappa
#13. A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
Frank Zappa
#14. In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world.
Frank Zappa
#15. What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?
Frank Zappa
#17. The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.
Frank Zappa
#18. I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white.
Frank Zappa
#19. They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.
Frank Zappa
#20. Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.
Frank Zappa
#21. Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
Frank Zappa
#22. Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Frank Zappa
#23. The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively
because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?
Frank Zappa
#24. What something is depends more on when it is than anything else.
Frank Zappa
#25. Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.
Frank Zappa
#26. Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?
Frank Zappa
#27. Hey, you know something people?
I'm not black
But there's a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I'm not white
Frank Zappa
#28. It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties.
Frank Zappa
#29. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.
Frank Zappa
#30. Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.
Frank Zappa
#31. Basically I'm in the idea business
whether it's a musical idea or a spoken idea ... If you wind up with a political system that wants to put idea men out of business, then you have worry on your hands.
Frank Zappa
#32. Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.
Frank Zappa
#33. Studied law, but not qualified to practice it.
Frank Zappa
#34. America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.
Frank Zappa
#35. Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.
Frank Zappa
#36. My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
Frank Zappa
#37. You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious.
Frank Zappa
#38. The devil, he's about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow's peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear.
Frank Zappa
#39. The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.
Frank Zappa
#40. While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.
Frank Zappa
#41. There are only two things to remember. Number one ... Don't Stop, and number two ... Keep Going!
Frank Zappa
#42. Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
Frank Zappa
#43. If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap
Frank Zappa
#44. The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents - because they have a tame child-creature in their house.
Frank Zappa
#45. Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes.
Frank Zappa
#46. The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.
Frank Zappa
#47. Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.
Frank Zappa
#48. I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
Frank Zappa
#49. Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.
Frank Zappa
#50. Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things.
Frank Zappa
#51. Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?
Frank Zappa
#52. Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.
Frank Zappa
#53. I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.
Frank Zappa
#54. All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
Frank Zappa
#55. Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.
Frank Zappa
#57. The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air.
Frank Zappa
#59. Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I'll love you, too.
Frank Zappa
#60. Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress.
Frank Zappa
#61. I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.
Frank Zappa
#62. I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.
Frank Zappa
#63. Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart - incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things.
Frank Zappa
#64. Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride.
Frank Zappa
#65. This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it.
Frank Zappa
#66. You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal.
Frank Zappa
#67. I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't.
Frank Zappa
#68. Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
Frank Zappa
#69. If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Frank Zappa
#70. Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too.
Frank Zappa
#71. The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus.
Frank Zappa
#72. Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.
Frank Zappa
#73. It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
Frank Zappa
#74. Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole?
Frank Zappa
#75. Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances.
Frank Zappa
#76. The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.
Frank Zappa
#77. If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.
Frank Zappa
#78. It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner
Frank Zappa
#79. I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.
Frank Zappa
#81. The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device.
Frank Zappa
#82. Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it doesn't cause a murder.
Frank Zappa
#83. I never have no trouble with my rubber girl.
Frank Zappa
#84. All that we got here is American made. It's a little bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed.
Frank Zappa
#86. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye.
Frank Zappa
#87. All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them.
Frank Zappa
#88. Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.
Frank Zappa
#89. The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart.
Frank Zappa
#90. The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.
Frank Zappa
#91. I have been monitoring your earthly broadcasts for many years.
Frank Zappa
#92. Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.
Frank Zappa
#93. Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you.
Frank Zappa
#94. Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.
Frank Zappa
#95. Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Frank Zappa
#96. I searched for years I found no love. I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.
Frank Zappa
#98. If you pick up a guitar and it says, 'take me, I'm yours,' then that's the one for you
Frank Zappa
#99. Call any vegetable,
call it by name,
and the chances are good
that the vegetable will respond to you
Frank Zappa
#100. Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.
Frank Zappa
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