Josh Lieb Quotes

#1. I read an awful lot in college - a lot of Dickens, a lot of 19th century American stuff, a lot of old mysteries. Maybe it's helped me attain a certain fluidity with my style.

Josh Lieb

#2. Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess.

Josh Lieb

#3. According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.

Josh Lieb

#4. I have to start writing down things that happen, or I'll forget my life entirely.

Josh Lieb

#5. You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons.

Josh Lieb

#6. I was an English major in college, though I ended up getting my degree in "General Stduies" because my grades were too bad to qualify for an English degree.

Josh Lieb

#7. Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it.

Josh Lieb

#8. It's simply the most adorable thing ever: My mother has joined a gang.

Josh Lieb

#9. What is evil?' you ask.
To which I reply, 'Who are you, Friedrich Nietzsche?'
To which you respond, 'Duh, wha? Me no understand.'
Then I put you back in your cage.

Josh Lieb

#10. Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how amazing the people who write books are. Writers love writing books like this, and for some reason, we let them get away with it.

Josh Lieb

#11. It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.

Josh Lieb

#12. Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

Josh Lieb

#13. It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you.

Josh Lieb

#14. A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are, at least not yet.

Josh Lieb

#15. We can all agree that children are ugly.

Josh Lieb

#16. Moorehead is one of those sad people who go into teaching so they can be worshipped by the only people sadder than they are - students.

Josh Lieb

#17. Pammy surges out of her seat, arm straining for the sky. She will apparently pee herself if she's not allowed to answer this question.

Josh Lieb

#18. I thought I was going to be a poet when I was in college, but then I found out I was poor so I decided to do something I'd get paid for.

Josh Lieb

#19. Daddy was overcome by the charm of this scene. "They're just so amazing at that age. So innocent. So ... pure. As pure as the snow they play in." He apparently hadn't noticed the places where the snow was distinctly yellow.

Josh Lieb

#20. I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job.

Josh Lieb

#21. You have to know writing styles well before you can copy them - and then incorporate parts of them into your own style.

Josh Lieb

#22. I can't focus on any one day, because I always have to be ready for the next. It's fun but frenetic - like living in a circus that never stops performing.

Josh Lieb

#23. I keep my TV writing and my book writing almost wholly separate. The audiences feel so different.

Josh Lieb

#24. If you want to do this - either write for TV, or write books - the first thing you have to do is write a lot. And I mean a ridiculous amount.

Josh Lieb

#25. Insanity is just what we call stupidity when it doesn't make sense.

Josh Lieb