Quotes About Just Kidding

#1. Tell them you're pregnant with a married minister's baby, then say, "Just kidding! I'm a vampire,'" she suggested.

Molly Harper

#2. Now, I cannot imagine where women ever got the idea that they must be perfect in order to be loved or successful. (Ha ha ha! Just kidding! I can totally imagine: We got it from every single message society has ever sent us! Thanks, all of human history!)

Elizabeth Gilbert

#3. I fired the nurse the next day because she didn't check out the NFL schedule in advance - just kidding, ... I plan to be in Denver. I haven't missed a lot of games over the years. But there's a bunch I wish I had.

Lamar Hunt

#4. It's always hard to remember love - years pass and you say to yourself, Was I really in love, or was I just kidding myself? Was I really in love, or was I just pretending he was the man of my dreams? Was I really in love, or was I just desperate?

Nora Ephron

#5. [On acupuncture:] The needles are small and won't hurt at all. In fact, they'll feel good. Ha, ha! Just kidding. They feel like needles. Because they are.

Jenny Lawson

#6. Just kidding, I've been very athletic all my life.

Kiana Tom

#7. Jess in a Speedo.
Just kidding. That was too bold a look even for him. Maybe a ...
Naked. Yeah, naked.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#8. Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.

Nancy Cartwright

#9. There were some situations where I was giving up everything I had for the band and I just expected everybody else to feel the same way. I realized I was just kidding myself.

Jerry Only

#10. Get away from me," she cried. "What are you?"

"Death," Lok answered menacingly.

Brooke looked at him in horror.

"Haha, just kidding.

Will Collins

#11. I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

Demetri Martin

#12. Bike lanes are the coolest. My favorite past time is flipping off cars from my bicycle. Just kidding - I'm more of a silent resentment kind of girl.

Mary Lambert

#13. Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?

Bernie Mac

#14. I'm celibate. It's not that I'm a religious or moral person or anything, it's just, if you aren't ****ing Thom Yorke, what's the point? Actually, just kidding, Thom Yorke and I **** all the time. Hehehe. Had you.

Thom Yorke

#15. I am so often struck by what we do not do, all of us. And I am also, now, so acutely aware of the quick passage of time, the way that we come suddenly to our own separate closures. It is as though a thing says, I told you. But you thought I was just kidding.

Elizabeth Berg

#16. I don't use the computer. But my secretary does. I want to take some computer courses because I'm interested in some of the access to some of the illegal things on the Internet. I'm just kidding.

Ahmet Ertegun

#17. Now that I am awake I shall reveal my true form.. to the world!!" Hahahaha! Hey You Morons! I'm Just Kidding! -Yusuke YuYu Hakusho

Yoshihiro Togashi

#18. Concentrate on the question. Oooh, interesting. I haven't seen that stone in that position before. Have you had a history of spontaneous combustion in your family?"
His eyes widened in surprise.
I grinned."Just kidding.

Katie MacAlister

#19. My eyes are brown. So are my teeth.
Just kidding about the teeth.

Richard Laymon

#20. There's always a little truth behind every 'just kidding'. A little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'. A little emotion behind every 'I don't care'. And a little pain behind every 'it's okay'.

Anonymous

#21. They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Daniel Tosh

#22. Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus?
Athena's answer : What an interesting idea ... No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt.

Rick Riordan

#23. It's an opportunity of a lifetime to be teamed up with (Kevin) Harvick, with Tony (Stewart), Danica (Patrick). Us four in the same meetings, it could be hell or could be great. I'm just kidding about the hell part.

Kurt Busch

#24. This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I?

Craig Benzine

#25. All my important decisions are made for me by my subconscious. My frontal lobes are just kidding themselves that they decide anything at all. All they do is think up reasons for the decisions that are already made.

Rex Stout

#26. In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

Anthony Jeselnik

#27. I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.

Sloane Crosley

#28. I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe.
Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead.

A&E Kirk

#29. Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!

Jon Ronson

#30. Just kidding," he said, standing. "Pretty sure it's just a dick in my pants and not a magic wand. But if I could wave it and help you get over him, I promise I would.

Caisey Quinn

#31. We violated each other's boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of "just kidding.

David W. Earle

#32. Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word.

David Nicholls

#33. I was just kidding, shuck-face," Minho said. "Let's all go over there. She could have an army of psycho girl ninjas hiding in that shack of hers."
"Psycho girl ninjas?" Newt repeated, his voice showing he was surprised, if not annoyed, by Minho's additude.

James Dashner

#34. I keep everything that is most important to me close to me: my family, my bible, my X-Box - just kidding.

Brian Littrell

#35. New Orleans could wreck your liver and poison your blood. It could destroy you financially. It could shun you or embrace you, teach you tricks of the heart you thought Tennessee Williams was just kidding about. And in August it could break your spirit.

Julie Smith

#36. I would say, 'I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.' But I was just kidding myself.

Bruce Willis

#37. Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm just kidding. Pain is God's greatest gift. Pain is God's way of saying, Hurts, don't it ? Well, go ahead. Say, me dammit again.

Christopher Titus

#38. I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.

Steven Wright

#39. If you have a universe that was just the mirror image of the one we know about, then in fact, presumably it would have right-handed amino acids. That's why I'm only half kidding when I say there is a guy on the other side of the universe with his heart on the right hand side.

Ronald Breslow

#40. In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the left indicator on, so naturally it's time to turn right! Are you kidding me? In your Prius? I know, you're saving the Earth by trying to kill the people!

Adam Ferrara

#41. Any other iron on you?" he asked impatiently.
"Just my tongue stud."
His look was a mixture of curiosity and horror.
"I'm kidding, you idiot. Let's go.

Kiersten White

#42. Confidence? Are you kidding me? I mean, please. Look, some players grow up and play like that. I remember losing junior matches. Just being down 5-2 in the third, and they all just start slapping shots.

Roger Federer

#43. I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. "Yo," Ranger said when he answered. "Small problem." "No kidding. Your car just went off the screen." "It sort of burned up." Silence. "And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car." "Babe.

Janet Evanovich

#44. But I've been kidding myself that this thing I feel for her is just a crush. No matter what I'd heard or read or seen in a movie - no one ever said it was supposed to suck so badly.

Melissa Keil

#45. Friends? Ha! Who was she kidding? Friends didn't tremble just because

Milly Taiden

#46. My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows."

Si Robertson

#47. You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

Dov Davidoff

#48. Writing is active. It requires your fully conscious self. You need to show up and show us your gift. Until you do that, you're just practicing in private. Playing around. Kidding yourself. Don't do that.

Jeff Goins

#49. Jack, I'm just telling you, if it turns out. . .I want you to shoot me."
"Dee - "
"I'm not kidding, not exaggerating, just telling you that I do not have it in me to handle that."
"You have a daughter, too. You don't have the luxury not to handle shit.

Blake Crouch

#50. Are you kidding? You just told her that an invisible man who tells you to kill people just showed up when you didn't want him to." "Not one of our smoothest interactions," Tobias agreed.

Brandon Sanderson

#51. We're dodging bullets and this is right after we've just seen [inaudible] shot and we're running and the woman who John accused of being out to kill us and everyone thought he was kidding. When we see her she appears and she's after us.

Mary-Louise Parker

#52. I'm not really deaf; I just faked it to win the Oscar KIDDING.

Marlee Matlin

#53. All kidding aside, just be careful around this guy, okay, Gin? A slick smile can hide a lot of sins." He paused. "Trust me. I know all about that." "Of course you do. You've broken far more hearts than I've ever cut into.

Jennifer Estep

#54. You're kidding, right?" Ezra barked. "We're not just going to wait." "I suppose we could help people clean up a bit," "Girl!" Ezra called out. "Big eyes!" Winter turned from what she was looking at. "Are you talking to me?

Obert Skye

#55. Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.

Ellen DeGeneres

#56. She has eyes that shine like a night-hunting cat, and she's so lethal she can kill somebody with just her pinky. I'm not kidding about that.

Ann Aguirre

#57. Forgiveness and acceptance, I thought as we found a spot near the largest tree in the lobby. Although I'd been kidding with Georgia, I was pretty sure those were the keys to relationships. Everything else was just ego and hurt feelings.

Megan Crane

#58. You can take him, right?" he asks a couple minutes later.
I go, "Are you kidding? You can't just fight Blade, you have to fight his gang, too."
"You mean you couldn't take him and I was giving him lip?

Rodman Philbrick

#59. I can't look at you anymore. I just want to kiss the fuck out of you. There's no way ... What the hell would you want with a guy like me?
A guy like him? Was he kidding? Beautiful Gabriel, my ever-demanding artist. What in the world was he thinking?

C.L.Stone

#60. Hey police? I just saw the world's oldest, slowest kid climbing into Pleasantview Cemetery. Looked like he was dying to get in. Yeah, looked like a grave matter to me. Kidding? Oh no, I'm in dead earnest. Maybe you ought to dig into it.

Stephen King

#61. The last few years had taught her that, bizarrely, there might be more to life than money, heists, and adrenaline. A crazy idea, no kidding, and she wasn't entirely convinced yet, but maybe, just maybe, she could be something more than a thief?

Greg Cox

#62. Thank God he wasn't in full uniform or her panties might have melted.
Who was she kidding? The strap of silk covering the good china was already toast just looking at him in his form-fitting jeans and a black polo with the Salvation Police Department logo.

Avery Flynn

#63. It's lucky I was there. Then again, who am I kidding? I'm in most places at least once, and in 1943, I was just about everywhere.

Markus Zusak

#64. Hey, just be grateful I'm old. When an Arcadian first starts time-walking, we only have about a three percent chance of success. I once ended up on Pluto. (Sebastian) Are you serious? (Channon) They're not kidding about it being the coldest planet. (Sebastian)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#65. Green Lantern: "What are your powers anyway? You can't fly."
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Super-strength?"
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Hold on a second ... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?!

Geoff Johns

#66. Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

Gabriel Iglesias

#67. Here, I have an opportunity to affect the lives of a lot of young people - and not just on my football team. I'm not kidding myself that that would be true at the professional level.

Joe Paterno

#68. Harold, Julia - are you kidding? There's nothing - nothing - I've ever wanted more. My whole life. I just never thought - He stopped; he was speaking in fragments. For a minute they were all quiet, and he was finally able to look at both of them.

Hanya Yanagihara

#69. The best part of being an angel investor is seeing these kids coming up with companies that get way more traffic than Reddit had when we sold it. I think, 'Are you kidding me? They're just kids, and they've done so much.'

Alexis Ohanian

#70. I just find it funny what people will comment on, I try to not pay that much attention to it, but the crazy part is that if I'm doing a squat and I have an action photo, they're like, "Oh your form is off!" And I'm like, are you kidding? I'm still at the gym and you're not!

Khloe Kardashian

#71. (You think I'm gonna tell you how much I spend on fro yo? Are you kidding me? We just met.

Brian Donovan

#72. My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not

Ellen DeGeneres

#73. Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.

Craig Ferguson

#74. Me: just don't ask about his forty-three ex-boyfriends, okay? or ask him about why he's carrying around an axe.
mom: ...
me: i'm kidding about the axe part.

David Levithan

#75. The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods' tomb. "Sit. Wait."
Did I mention werewolves were chatty?

Mindee Arnett

#76. Then at the top of the hill, the road forks.
Which just figures.
"You gotta be kidding." I say.
One part of the road goes left, the other goes right.
(Well, it's a "Fork" ain't it?)

Patrick Ness

#77. [Richard] remembered asking Tommy once why he didn't want to transition into a woman.
"And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration."
Tommy Wilkins, A Very Tate Christmas (Tate Pack #3)

Vicktor Alexander

#78. In 1998, I received treatment for my knee by an Israeli therapist. We spoke about Israel and I mentioned 'Scooterman' and he just froze. It was like he had met Elvis. I thought he was kidding me and then he called his brother, they yelled to each other over the phone, and then I believed him.

Gary David Goldberg

#79. He says he is starting a school here, and not just any school, but "the best of the best." He tells Signora Divino, his neighbor, "We will bring all the children from all over the world and we will live in harmony!" Is he kidding?

Sharon Creech

#80. Then I started reading this timetable I had in my pocket. Just stop lying. Once I get started, I can go on for hours if I feel like it. No kidding. Hours.

J.D. Salinger

#81. It's like, are you kidding me? I'd sell way more if I just put a picture of my face. That's the fact. I'd sell more copies of me just looking cute. That's what sells more. That's what sells at Wal-Mart. Not someone in a bathtub looking like they're about to kill someone. Topless.

Sky Ferreira

#82. I'm not some piece of ass that you can just use for the night," Jake said, surprised at his own outrage. "You've got to be kidding.

Katie Rose

#83. I'm not kidding myself. My voice alone is just an ordinary voice. What people come to see is how I use it. If I stand still while I'm singing, I'm dead, man. I might as well go back to driving a truck.

Elvis Presley

#84. And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration, Tommy had explained before turning with a flounce and practically floating out of the room in his heels.

Vicktor Alexander

#85. Man, I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle.

Elvis Presley

#86. The first time they'd met, in this very pub, he'd hit on her using so little finesse, she'd been forced to ask if he was kidding. Granted, they'd both had a few too many drinks that night, but nothing excused the line, "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you." Nothing.

Tessa Bailey