Top 100 You're Kidding Me Quotes
#1. So softly Lizzy has to lean over to hear me, I say, 'I can't face the world until I know why I'm here.'
You're kidding me.'
I shake my head vehemently. 'No. I need to figure out my purpose. Until I do, what's the use of getting up?
Wendy Mass
#2. Hey Baby. Baby? You're kidding me, right? I was trying it out. No? No.
Cassandra Clare
#3. You know what I mean. And by the way, you should slow down."
I sighed. "You're kidding me. This is coasting. This is little old lady speed."
"NASCAR drivers would have heart attacks. Slow down before we get a ticket."
"Chicken.
Rachel Caine
#4. You've got to learn to stand your ground and," she flicked her feet in a little Irish stepdance and sang, "you've got to have faith, faith, faith."
My jaw dropped. "You're kidding me, right? You're dancing in the streets and quoting George Michael. I'm about to get eaten alive!
A&E Kirk
#5. They were saying, 'Keep this under your hat, but Jack Sparrow's going to die in the second movie.' I went, 'You're kidding me. The fans are going to go berserk.'
Geoffrey Rush
#6. Baby?" She perched beside him in the chair. "You're kidding me right?" "I was trying it out, no?" "no," she said firmly Simon & Clary
Cassandra Clare
#7. Sophia Mercer," Elodie intoned, "we have come to induct you into our sisterhood. Say the five words to begin the ritual."
I blinked at her. "Are you freaking kidding me?"
Anna gave an exasperated sigh. "No, the five words are 'I accept you offer, sisters.
Rachel Hawkins
#8. Confidence? Are you kidding me? I mean, please. Look, some players grow up and play like that. I remember losing junior matches. Just being down 5-2 in the third, and they all just start slapping shots.
Roger Federer
#9. He'd already put a shirt on each leg and had stacked every shoe I owned into a precarious pyramid. The room looked like a small, overly curious tornado had torn it apart.
"You have got to be kidding me," I said. "Maybe I should give you to Shamus.
Devon Monk
#10. Not bad"? Are you kidding me? He looks like that and his kissing skills are "not bad"? You're killing me here.
Kristina Adams
#11. It's honestly every time that I'm doing something, and every time I visit a station and hear my song on the radio and people buying my stuff, I'm like 'Are you kidding me? This is insane!'
Jana Kramer
#12. You've got to be kidding me. You're propositioning me in a church?"
"Now where else are you going to be civil to me?
Jae T. Jaggart
#13. Are you kidding? They had me at 'Star Wars.' The kid inside me would've clawed his way out and strangled me if I'd turned this job down.
Jason Aaron
#14. The great irony is that women are accused of making romantic comedies, as if it's a bad thing, but [(500) Days of Summer] Marc Webb makes a romantic comedy and he gets Spider-Man [as his next project]. Are you kidding me? You cannot win.
Manohla Dargis
#15. Are you kidding me? It's insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It's embarrassing, and it's heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I'm completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we'll be ashamed that this was an issue.
Chris Evans
#16. I haven't done anything wrong. "Get off me!"
"You're kidding, right? You've injured a sheriff, broken in and entered a house, stole a car - mine - stole Hal Haverton's clothes, broken a glass, and littered.
Terry Spear
#17. I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. "Yo," Ranger said when he answered. "Small problem." "No kidding. Your car just went off the screen." "It sort of burned up." Silence. "And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car." "Babe.
Janet Evanovich
#18. And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration, Tommy had explained before turning with a flounce and practically floating out of the room in his heels.
Vicktor Alexander
#19. Are you kidding? Aren't you worried I'll become that hung up on you?"
"I'm hoping you become that hung up on me.
Laurelin Paige
#20. Where are you supposed to stay?" He ground out ...
"Hendrix, are you kidding me?"
"By me, Reagan. Always, by me," he answered, ignoring my sarcasm.
Rachel Higginson
#21. My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows."
Si Robertson
#22. Jack, I'm just telling you, if it turns out. . .I want you to shoot me."
"Dee - "
"I'm not kidding, not exaggerating, just telling you that I do not have it in me to handle that."
"You have a daughter, too. You don't have the luxury not to handle shit.
Blake Crouch
#23. Go down on you? Are you kidding me? In two years, you can count the times on one hand?" Lucas looked appalled. "He had the sweetest pussy in all creation right next to him all that time and he didn't spend his days and nights buried in it?
Melanie Harlow
#24. The chorus of "Jack and Diane" is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.
Mindy Kaling
#25. He looked again. Longer this time. She may have 'forgotten' to put a bra on that morning. Another oops.
"Are you kidding me with that?" he asked.
Julie James
#26. What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm lucky, come up to his navel!
Linda Hunt
#28. I cocked my eyebrow at her. "Are you kidding me, Clare?" I indicated to the dead man on the broken pine table. "There is a dead Rogue in your kitchen."
"Why is there a dead Rogue in my kitchen?"
"Because I killed him in there.
Elizabeth Morgan
#29. I like to work and there's no movies for actors, period, especially black actors. When white actors are like, 'Man, there's no work out there,' then black actors are like, 'Are you kidding me?'
Marlon Wayans
#30. Ah, there you are, Bard," came a familiar voice, and she turned to see Alucard striding over.
"Saints, is that a dress you're in? The crew will never believe it."
"You've got to be kidding me," growled Kell.
V.E Schwab
#31. You're kidding, right?" Ezra barked. "We're not just going to wait." "I suppose we could help people clean up a bit," "Girl!" Ezra called out. "Big eyes!" Winter turned from what she was looking at. "Are you talking to me?
Obert Skye
#32. You've got to be kidding me." I lean back to search his face. "You're going to worry about conventions when we're past the end of the world?
Stephenie Meyer
#33. Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, "Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?"
Fran Lebowitz
#34. I was at a banquet, and I went into the ladies' room, and I'm in the stall doing my business, and a piece of paper and pen came from outside the door, and she says, 'Ms. Wagner, would you please sign this for me?' And I said, 'Are you kidding me?'
Lindsay Wagner
#35. Are you freaking kidding me? You kissed Adrian "freakishly amazingly beautiful, broody, black sheep, I could take your clothes off without ever moving a muscle" Hebert, and he kissed you back?
Lynetta Halat
#36. They pushed us into the fight to defund Obamacare and shut down the government. And the day before the government reopened, one of these groups said, 'Well, we never thought it would work.' Are you kidding me?!
John Boehner
#37. OCEANA: Are we here to take a tour of the museum? Is this your surprise?
ORPHEUS: This is my house.
OCEANA: (gasps) You gotta be kidding me.
ORPHEUS: (now glaring at her) No I'm not.
Scarlett Brukett
#38. Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
TheFlamingPopsicle
#39. Do you need me to break her leg? I could make it happen." She chuckled to herself. "I'm kidding.
Kiera Cass
#40. I lean back. "What the hell are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" she asks, innocently batting her eyelashes against the hot sun beaming down on us.
Is she kidding me?
"Where's you toungue?" I ask stupidly.
Her wet little eyebrows furrow. "In my mouth. Why, where's it supposed to be?
Simone Elkeles
#41. Are you kidding me? How can you even ask me that? I'm stuck in a world I have no hope of surviving, I'm forced to depend on a guy who thinks I can't be trusted, I'm being pushed into marrying a man who believes I can't talk, and I've lost everyone I've ever cared about! Why wouldn't I feel uneasy?
Cheryl Koevoet
#42. Are you kidding me? The woman leaves priceless Ming vases and Picassos lying about like they came off a sale rack at some discount store and she fills a hidden safe with musty old books?
Alexandra Ivy
#43. In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the left indicator on, so naturally it's time to turn right! Are you kidding me? In your Prius? I know, you're saving the Earth by trying to kill the people!
Adam Ferrara
#44. All kidding aside, just be careful around this guy, okay, Gin? A slick smile can hide a lot of sins." He paused. "Trust me. I know all about that." "Of course you do. You've broken far more hearts than I've ever cut into.
Jennifer Estep
#45. Did I tell you what veal practice is? Oh! Veal practice involved me lying very still on the sofa trying as hard as I could to mimic the life of a veal. While eating veal. I wish I were kidding. It. Was. Magic.
Shonda Rhimes
#46. I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!"
"Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!
Jill Shalvis
#47. Andrew interrupts. "You're letting her drive your car? Are you kidding me? You've never even let me sit behind the damn wheel!" I look over at Andrew and shrug. "You aren't the one I'm in love with.
Colleen Hoover
#48. Get away from me," she cried. "What are you?"
"Death," Lok answered menacingly.
Brooke looked at him in horror.
"Haha, just kidding.
Will Collins
#49. My agent called me and said, "You have an audition for James Bond. They're looking for the girl." And I told him, "Listen, it's all in English. I'm not an actress. I'm not going to go." He thought I was kidding with him.
Gal Gadot
#50. I was doing a scene in a medical tent in 18th-century battle dress, pantaloons and a ripped shirt, and the guy from the crew kept asking me if I was OK, if I was too cold. I told him, 'Are you kidding? I'm from Wales!'
Owain Yeoman
#51. The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
Daniel Tosh
#52. Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt do you? I love it! You're kidding! What a crazy, random happenstance!
Joss Whedon
#53. When people are coming to Krakow and we show them how and where we practice, they are like, 'Seriously? Are you kidding me?' But we're always saying that what matters about the courts - the lines, the nets - are the same. I'm practicing in Poland even when I don't have good facilities.
Agnieszka Radwanska
#54. (You think I'm gonna tell you how much I spend on fro yo? Are you kidding me? We just met.
Brian Donovan
#55. Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.
Craig Ferguson
#56. Well, it's a little harder in New York. It's not as forgiving to a film crew. You hold up a bunch of New Yorkers who can't cross the street, they're not going to take it well. Southern California? They'll wait. It's cool man. In New York, they're like, 'Are you kidding me? I gotta get to work.'
Matthew Rhys
#57. Logan?'
'Yes?' I pulled my clothes back on even though the fabric stuck to my wounds. So much for trying to keep them clean.
'How did you know it wasn't really me?'
'Are you kidding? Your eyeballs could be on fire and you wouldn't bat your lashes at me like that.
Alyxandra Harvey
#58. So, you got QVC? (Simi) Afraid not, sweetie. (Astrid) You got Soap Net? (Zarek shook his head.) You got any TV? (Simi) Sorry. (Zarek) Are you kidding? You boring people. A demon needs her cable. Akri done tricked me. He didn't tell me I'd have to go without cable. (Simi)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#59. He threw back his shoulders, a hunter preparing to stalk his prey across the night ... and pulled an iPhone out of his pocket.
"You are kidding me." I watched as he tapped through screens with practiced swipes. "There's an app for that?
Helen Keeble
#61. Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" or "Don't fear the Reaper"? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping.
Jeaniene Frost
#62. Why can't you go back to playing princess?" "I never played princess." "Are you kidding?" he says. "Whenever Heather's mom took the two of you to the parade, you wore your fanciest dress, pretending to be the Winter Queen." "Exactly!" I say. "Queen, not princess. You raised me better than that.
Jay Asher
#63. In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.
Anthony Jeselnik
#64. And having a strong family, you know we've lost some members of our family and had some setbacks, but I think a good family and kids all those things I thought at one time ... you got to be kidding me ... Those things are so important they enable you to go on.
Brett Favre
#65. People will come up to me and try and be secretive and say, 'Can you do the Gollum voice for me?' And I'm like, 'Are you kidding? It's 8:30 in the morning on the Victoria Line.'
Andy Serkis
#66. There's a company that wants to put hair on me! I don't know if it's plugs, I'm sure it is. I laughed and said, 'You gotta be kidding.'
Terry Bradshaw
#67. The best part of being an angel investor is seeing these kids coming up with companies that get way more traffic than Reddit had when we sold it. I think, 'Are you kidding me? They're just kids, and they've done so much.'
Alexis Ohanian
#68. What if I decide my destiny is someone else?'
'Then that's your decision and I would respect that. Also I know a whole lot of gods to smite whoever it is you choose instead of me.'
'You-'
'Kidding! Totally kidding. Mostly kidding. Okay, not really kidding
Kiersten White
#69. I think I sort of blossomed, so to speak, around 17. I started to get hips and put on weight, which I was very happy about. And that's when I met this agent, who told me I had to lose 10 pounds. I said, 'You've got to be kidding me. I finally got it on - I'm not losing it!'
Tricia Helfer
#70. I cast a glance in my new admirer's direction. "You may call me Your Highness," I said. "Or Empress Beauty."
He chuckled. I wasn't kidding.
Gena Showalter
#71. Beneath her cheek, his heart was thumping steadily. Definitely faster than his usual near-hibernation beat. Lifting her head, she flashed him a tight smile. "I get to you."
"Are you kidding? You own me," he said, his voice running over her like silk.
Jill Shalvis
#72. The overture began. God! Strings! Oboes! Timpani! Are you fucking kidding me? Why, when we know what human beings are capable of doing, do we not turn our collective heads in shame at the sight of rich housewives screaming at each other on television?
Meg Howrey
#73. Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!
Gabriel Iglesias
#74. Dylan? Are you kidding me? I'm breathing Dylan?" "Yes," Kym said. "That seems to be his name.
Rick Riordan
#75. I feel like my life has been very serendipitous and really kind of humorous. Everything that's happened to me has been like an, 'Omigod, are you kidding me?'
Vicki Lawrence
#76. Green Lantern: "What are your powers anyway? You can't fly."
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Super-strength?"
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Hold on a second ... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?!
Geoff Johns
#77. I got a call on a Sunday. 'Do you want to do 'The Godfather?' I thought they were kidding me, right? I said, 'Yes, of course, I love that book' - which I had never read.
Albert S. Ruddy
#78. I want to play James Bond - are you kidding me? I'm putting my name in the ring!
Orlando Bloom
#79. Some people actually said I fell off at Nellyville cause I didn't sell as many as Country Grammar. I'm like are you kidding me? Sweat and Suit? I broke history, I was the first rapper to have 1st and 2nd album at the same time ever on billboard.
Nelly
#80. During that Grammy moment, when I nearly collapsed, I was thinking, Are you kidding me? I've always been really good with my heels. Even pregnant, I could perform in heels. Note to self: Never wear a train onstage.
Christina Aguilera
#81. Bird, hesitating, recalled a line from the English textbook he was reading with his students; a young American was speaking angrily: Are you kidding me? Are you looking for a fight?
Kenzaburo Oe
#82. It's like, are you kidding me? I'd sell way more if I just put a picture of my face. That's the fact. I'd sell more copies of me just looking cute. That's what sells more. That's what sells at Wal-Mart. Not someone in a bathtub looking like they're about to kill someone. Topless.
Sky Ferreira
#83. BRANDON: How about caramel popcorn balls? Yummy too! NIKKI: Popcorn balls?! Are you kidding me? Sounds way too complicated! BRANDON: Nope. Super EZ! Even I can make them and I'm a cruddy cook. I made some last night. NIKKI:
Rachel Renee Russell
#84. ... "Lived happily ever after," Natasha concluded, thinking back to that photograph. The woman who was well loved.
John's glare was withering. "Are you kidding me?" he said. "Who the hell gets to live happily ever after?
Jojo Moyes
#85. If someone was to tell you that you were a witch, I think that it would be somewhat like, "You've got to be kidding me! I'm out of here! You're crazy!"
Britt Robertson
#86. She gave me a hard look. "No one likes a wiseass, Harry."
"Are you kidding? As long as the wiseass is talking to someone else, people love 'em.
Jim Butcher
#87. Are you fucking kidding me? How do you get this wet? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I don't even ... ohhhhh God. It's all over your legs. Oh baby, I'm gonna fuck you so hard.
Charlotte Stein
#88. I went back to China and did a movie in Mandarin, and I don't speak Mandarin, so I learned it phonetically. Now, when I'm on set and somebody gives me English lines, I'm like, "Are you kidding? What's happening? This is amazing!"
Maggie Q
#89. I was listening to this Adele song, where she's like, "When we were young ... " I was like, "You're 27. Are you kidding me?
Jake Gyllenhaal
#90. FUCK!" Annie Montrose said. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!
Andy Weir
#91. [Richard] remembered asking Tommy once why he didn't want to transition into a woman.
"And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration."
Tommy Wilkins, A Very Tate Christmas (Tate Pack #3)
Vicktor Alexander
#92. I talk to people who are musicians, and they go, Oh this is hell. And I go, Are you kidding me? You never put tar paper on a roof, did ya?
Chris Isaak
#93. Zack?" Anthony's voice was suddenly serious. "You know, it's not a great idea to seduce a woman you're protecting. All kidding aside, do you want me to send Matthews over?"
"Who?"
"Junior."
"I will shoot him on sight," Zack said and hung up so he could follow Lucy into the kitchen.
Jennifer Crusie
#94. Are you kidding? I'm a terrible cook, but John is a really great one. Literally, I never cook. The whole time we were dating, I prepared two officially romantic meals. Both of them were such disasters that he begs me never to go into the kitchen again.
Rebecca Romijn
#95. Where are we going? You never told me."
"My home in Romania."
Wow, this guy wasn't kidding with his Dracula fixation.
Jeaniene Frost
#96. Since when did you bring a gun?" Navidson asks, crouching near the door.
"Are you kidding me? This place is scary.
Mark Z. Danielewski
#97. The next day she'd examined her red satin sandals
and with a frown said, "I'm thinking about buying two
snakes."
His are you kidding me "Why?" had caused her to
shrug.
"I'd name them Leftie and Rightie and when they
were big enough, they'd become Mamma's boots.
Gena Showalter
#98. To play Hillary Clinton? I'm kind of winging it. No, are you kidding me? I prepared obsessively. I mean, as much as I could in the time that I was given. Of course, with someone like Hillary Clinton, obviously, anything you want is on YouTube and at your fingertips there.
Hope Davis
#99. Are you kidding me? We're going to steal a cop car. How could I not be naked for this story? It's going to be epic.
Tijan
#100. Let's start with how you don't feel sexually attractive."
I gulped. "All right."
"Are you fucking kidding me?
Samantha Young
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