Hey How Quotes

#1. God says to me with a kind of smile, "Hey how would you like to be God awhile And steer the world?" ... "How much do I get? What time is lunch?" ... "Gimme back that wheel," says God. "I don't think you're quite ready yet."

Shel Silverstein

#2. You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, "Hey, how's that book?" "I haven't read it." "Oh, did you just buy it?" "I've had it since high school." "Well, can I borrow it?" "No."

Jim Gaffigan

#3. Hey, how 'bout those Cubs'"-the bad male impersonation was back-" 'let's play some golf, smoke some cigars. Here's my penis, there's yours-yep, they appear to be about the same size-okay, lets's do some deals.

Julie James

#4. Percy: "Hey, how's it going?" Annabeth: "Uh, no thanks." Percy: "Okay ... have you eaten anything today?" Annabeth: "I think Leo is on duty. Ask him." Percy: "So, my hair is on fire." Annabeth: "Okay. In a while." She got like this sometimes. It was one of the challenges of dating an Athena girl.

Rick Riordan

#5. You're beautiful and charming, and I can't stop thinking about last night." No, he
didn't say that. Not exactly, anyway. What Sarah heard was, "Hey - how are you?

Nicholas Sparks

#6. I've heard, 'May the Force be with you' about as many times as, 'Hey, how you doing?'

Freddie Prinze Jr.

#7. I don't necessarily not believe in ghosts, but I've never seen a ghost. A ghost has never jumped out and been like, 'Hey, how's it going?'

Sara Paxton

#8. Okay folks, what we have here is surely a never been seen before event. It looks like Satan herself has been called out by a - hey, how old is that walking corpse?

Jenn Cooksey

#9. I remember Mick Jagger asking me 'hey, how do you guys feel about us coming over here and taking all the play from you guys?' I said 'Well, in a way, you have eliminated all my competition.

Bobby Vinton

#10. I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"

Mitch Hedberg

#11. You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say "Hey,how ya doin'? How are ya?" I couldn't do it. It was false.

Larry David

#12. Chuck said, "Hey. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Cawley looked over at him. "I'll bite. How many?" "Fish," Chuck said and let loose a bright bark of a laugh.

Dennis Lehane

#13. The last thing I want my child to see is Dad running around in the middle of the pack. That would really upset me. And that would upset him. I would be embarrassed to take him to school with kids saying, 'Hey, how'd your dad do this weekend?' 'Well, he finished fifth or sixth'.

Dan Wheldon

#14. I cannot count the times I've been defeated, humiliated, or physically injured immediately after saying the words, 'Hey, how hard can it be?' But that never seems to stop me from saying them again.

Martha Beck

#15. Well, she's either Jackie or . . . hey, how about Stormy? Like some North Hollywood stripper?

H.W. "Buzz" Bernard

#16. If you go and stop people at a supermarket and ask them for their receipt and say, 'Hey how much did you just spend?' middle class shoppers have no idea. The poor know what they just spent.

Sendhil Mullainathan

#17. Whatever happened to 'Hey, how are you?' 'Long time, no see.' Apparently you don't have to observe the rules of etiquette when reuniting with a murderous spouse.

Jennifer Rardin

#18. Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

Jim Gaffigan

#19. My mother wanted me to go to church to meet women. That's wrong, ain't it? 'Praise the Lord! Hey, how ya doing? Nice dress. Look, I'm going to go over there and get some of this wine and crackers, want some?'

Warren Hutcherson

#20. From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

Ann Coulter

#21. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Bill Murray

#22. I look up to Jimmy Fallon. He hosts talk shows as a fan himself, and that's how I do it. When the celebrities come in, I'm excited that they're there. It's not just like a formal, 'Hey, how are ya?' It's like, 'Dude, what the hell! So happy to see you!' That's what Jimmy Fallon does every time.

Vinny Guadagnino

#23. It's really hard for me to sometimes put myself out there, like 'Hey, how do you feel about making music together?' because maybe I'm afraid of rejection or I don't want to put anybody out. It's the Southerner in me, like, 'I don't mean to bother you but do you mind making a song?'

Beth Ditto

#24. If you're a young artist, wondering what to call yourself, consider 'multimedia artist.' It's so vague. Then, no one can say, 'Hey, how come you're a jazz person, and you're making a pop opera?

Laurie Anderson

#25. Hey.How's it going?"
Martin always butched it up a little with his brother.
He tried to sound like a mechanic.
Why a mechanic?
Martin wasn't sure.
His own mechanic was gay, but he didn't sound gay.
Maybe that was what he was going for-gay but not gay.

Marshall Thornton

#26. A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!

Rodney Dangerfield

#27. Hey," the cabbie yelled. "How's about a tip?"
"You bet-ski," Evie said, heading toward the old Victorian mansion, her long silk scarf trailing behind her. "Don't kiss strange men in Penn Station.

Libba Bray

#28. Hey, guys, do you remember that time I was double-seat-belted in the wayback and the door flew open and the beer fell out but I survived completely uninjured? How is that even possible?

John Green

#29. Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!

Suzanne Collins

#30. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.

Nick Frost

#31. I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

Will Ferrell

#32. [about a hat]
You can put it on and say, Hey you, person without a hat! I've got something you don't! How did I get it? Probably by being worth more to society.

Alice LeGrow

#33. Hey this is Lenore! Yup, it sure is Lenore! Huh, maybe he can't hear me, maybe I should spell it. L-e-n-o-p

There's no p in Lenore , Lenore.

Oh yeah? Then what's this raggamuffin? Pssssssssssss

Aaaaagh! How are you even projecting it at that angle!?!

Roman Dirge

#34. We don't get the greatest tools to deal with anger. It's like, 'Hey, count to 10.' When someone really upsets me, how do I respond? I don't usually start counting to 10 and breathing deeply.

Woody Harrelson

#35. Hey, it's-!"
"Who? Oh. Oh."
"Shut up."
"I haven't said anything yet!"
"Don't."
"How can I shut up if I haven't said anything?"
"I know you. You've got a monologue coming up.

Robin Benway

#36. Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. You need weed, you need meth- hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man. I know how you white boys always deal with that depression. I mean me personally, I don't understand what you white boys are all depressed about. Hey, you're white! Smile!

Chris Rock

#37. Thanks. Hey, before I go, how's the romance coming with that vampire, what's his name?" "Vlad? I staked him. He was going to cheat on me and break my heart." Sasha shrugged. "I broke his first." Never screw around with a psychic. Especially not murderous ones.

Eve Langlais

#38. I believe teenagers are God's revenge on mankind. It's like He said, 'Hey let's see how they like it to create something in their own image that denies their existence.'

Jeff Allen

#39. Hey, Volusian, you haven't been checking me out, have you?"
He gave me his trademark bland stare. "I assure you, mistress, the only allure your bare flesh has for me is to remind me how easy it will be to slice open."
I laughed. If not for the fact he was actually serious, he'd be so much fun.

Richelle Mead

#40. How exactly do you get banned from a pizza delivery place?" "Hey, don't judge me! Those bastards had it out for me!

R.L. Mathewson

#41. Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once you drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?" "The shit's gonna splatter, start buggin', yo," Mencheres responded instantly.

Jeaniene Frost

#42. So, how'd you know about this place?"
"One of my buddies is from Baltimore area - I texted him."
"Saying what? 'Hey dude, know any secluded places?' He probably thinks you're a serial killer."
"I think I said 'romantic and private'.

Emery Lord

#43. I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'

Marc Maron

#44. Hey," he said smiling at me pulling off his sunglasses. "Did you get me something good?"
"I think so," I said trying to ignore how hard my heart was beating. Then before I could think about it or analyze or consider what I was doing I leaned over and kissed him.

Morgan Matson

#45. Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

Stephen Colbert

#46. It's a real shame. I like how people act on holidays. Everyone just seems ... I don't know
lighter, maybe. Like they're allowed to have fun all day long and eat anything they want and do silly things, and no one cares because, hey, it's a holiday, so why not?

John Corey Whaley

#47. You don't learn how to say 'hey, I have a problem,' but you also don't learn how to hear it. There's a total breakdown of how females talk to one another. It's very disconcerting for leadership because it means you don't talk to each other; you talk about each other.

Rachel Simmons

#48. my favorite restaurants. My brothers Deveaux and Ricky were at my mom house when I got there. I gave both of them a hug. "What's up Deveaux?" I said to my mother's third born child. "Hey Ricky. How have you been? You don't call your little sister anymore.

Shmel Carter

#49. She thinks, "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can't get out of this place"

Dave Matthews

#50. You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

Jeff Foxworthy

#51. When people say, 'Hey, wanna come to our house for dinner?' I say, 'Yeah, what should I bring?' They say, 'How about the dessert?' I just don't skimp on the dessert. I make it the yummy way it should be made, and then I just don't eat the whole pan.

Summer Sanders

#52. This isn't exactly a conversation two guys have over coffee. 'Hey, dude, how well does your wife shave your balls?

Tymber Dalton

#53. When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: "Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!"

Tina Fey

#54. It's creepy to know that we're living in a giant tube."
"Hey, if you think about it, we were living on the surface of a big ball of rock. How was that better?

David S.Goyer

#55. I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'

Jim Gaffigan

#56. Before I look stupid and not know what a word means or how to pronounce it, I'll stop the whole production: 'Hey, real quick, guys. Define this word for me. Somebody.'

Kevin Hart

#57. You're such a natural at this, Bella; I forget how very strange this all must be for you. I wish I could hear it." He ducked down and yanked me up into his arms so fast that I didn't see it coming- which was really something.
"Hey!"
"Thresholds are part of my job description," he reminded me.

Stephenie Meyer

#58. Hey." She gave him a sheepish smile. "How do you know me so well?" "I pay attention." He touched the side of her face again. "Love does that.

Karen Kingsbury

#59. She probably gave up and started playing Minesweeper."
[ ... ]
We reached the cafe and found Sydney bent over her laptop, with a barely eaten Danish and what was probably her fourth cup of coffee. We slid into seats beside her.
"How's it - hey! You ARE playing Minesweeper!

Richelle Mead

#60. Hey, I'm for love, not war. How about we have a beer?

Mel Gibson

#61. It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#62. Do you have any idea how late it is? Go to sleep," she scolded as she hurried past him.
"I know, I'm going to bed right now ... Hey! YOU go to sleep," Jerry scolded back, belatedly remembering that he was the parent.

Josephine Angelini

#63. What's happening right now, this month, I check in and go, 'Hey. You are at the top of a wave right now. Look around and enjoy it because it's not going to stay,' ... The wave goes away. It does not dictate how good I am or my worth. It's just the way it happens.

Melissa Etheridge

#64. Sometimes directors will hire you and say, 'Oh, we love your work.' And then they start to tell you how to do it. I say, 'Hey, man, back off. You hired me to do it. Let me do it.'

Robert Duvall

#65. Sometimes my body wakes me up and says 'Hey, you haven't had pain in a while. How about pain?' And sometimes I can't breathe, and that's hard to live with. But I still celebrate life and don't give up.

Mattie Stepanek

#66. You know how to make turkey? How would you have learnt that?" From what I knew, most dhampirs stayed nearly year-round at their schools from an early age. Not a lot of culinary time.
"Hey," he said, straight-faced. "All knowledge is worth having."
Jill laughed. "He wouldn't tell me either.

Richelle Mead

#67. I'm an artist with a message, and my message is more for society, casting the mirror onto them and saying, 'Hey, this is what we look like, what are we going to do about it, how are we going to use what we've been through to aid where we're going.'

Trai Byers

#68. Hey." Lon said to Kar Yee, towering over her. "Hanging in there?"
"This? Pfft. It's nothing." Kar Yee said with a silly grin. "How's my favorite pirate captain? Did you come to give me something nice to look at? A little pirate booty?" She snorted a laugh at her own joke.

Jenn Bennett

#69. Hey, which one's your favorite?" "Favorite what? Class?" "No, I mean book. You have to have a favorite." "Shit, I don't know. I've read so many that I wouldn't even know how to choose.

Aly Martinez

#70. I played soccer growing up, and then high school came along and the football coach came out one day and was like, 'Hey, do you want to kick for us?' I was like, 'Sure, I'll come out and kick one day.' I got moved up to varsity and that's how the story began.

Kyle Brindza

#71. My wife gets asked all the time, 'Ugh, how can you be married to that guy?' She's like, 'Hey, he's not yelling and screaming at me!'

Steve Wilkos

#72. OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'

Norm MacDonald

#73. Hey, so I told my hoe yesterday that ...
Aww, he talks to his shovel. How cute.

Zechariah Barrett

#74. Rima: "Hey Shiki, won't you be my husband?"

Shiki: "sure."

Rima: "How rash..."

Shiki: "Ehh? Why...? It means that you will be my friend and companion forever. What is there to ponder?

Matsuri Hino

#75. I don't know how many times someone has come up to me and said, "Hey, Lets dance!". I hate dancing. God, it's stupid.

David Bowie

#76. Tell Penny how groovy it was of her to set up this little get-together, oh, and hey - can I be frank for a minute?" "Of course," said Agents Flatweed and Borderline. Snapping his fingers, Doc sang himself out the door with four bars of "Fly Me to the Moon,

Thomas Pynchon

#77. Hey, Connor! Sorry I must have butt-dialed you. So, do you want to tell me how it felt being on my ass?" she laughed.

Ellery Black's BFF and her jokes.

Sandi Lynn

#78. In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care plan. The press is making a big deal out this thing with Newt but, hey, if anyone knows how to appear in public with a man she can't stand, it's Hillary.

Jay Leno

#79. What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

Jim Gaffigan

#80. I'm not into, Hey, what's your sign? or any of that. But I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how I write songs. I don't know why I breathe.

Paul McCartney

#81. Of course, I didn't know how I felt about my first kiss coming from one of the undead, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, and let me tell you something, Jesse was way cuter than any live guy I'd met lately.

Meg Cabot

#82. Hey I saw that you're also friends with (mutual friend). I'm pretty sure I met you at a party one time. I can't remember which one but your face looks ridiculously familiar, and I think we talked about My Little Pony or something. How do you know (mutual friend)?

Derek Cajun

#83. When someone believes in you, it's miraculous how you
suddenly start to believe in yourself, how you suddenly want to become the person that hey see. (McCall)

Santino Hassell

#84. Hey, this is it - right now! - the time when you find out who you are and what you can do. And how will you ever know if you don't try new stuff?

Jerry Spinelli

#85. Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! ... They don't seem to care.

Rick Riordan

#86. Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, "Hey Tris!" and Uriah cries, "Ow! How on earth do you make a pillow hurt, Lynn?"
"My exceptional strength," she says.

Veronica Roth

#87. Hey," Dopey said when I was finished reading. "How come they never mentioned me? I'm the one who found the skeleton."
"Oh, yeah," Sleepy said in disgust. "Your role was really crucial. After all, if it wasn't for you, the guy's
skull might still have been intact.

Meg Cabot

#88. How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? Hey baby lets dance ... cya later!

Eddie Murphy

#89. Hey," he's saying softly, "hey . . . this isn't like you." How would you know? she thinks. Nobody knows what is like me. I'm not even sure I know.

Jojo Moyes

#90. The kids look at me, 'Ah, you're my hero.' I want to teach those kids. 'Hey listen, God is my hero. He died on the cross for my sins, and He's the one. That's how I wanna live - like Him - and I want you guys to do the same thing.

Albert Pujols

#91. No, I'm not sure," she hisses. "But if I'm going out, I'm going out fighting."

Well, that makes one of us because if I'm going out, I'm going out screaming while crouched in the fetal position. Hey, it's how I came into this world and it's how I'm going out. Don't judge.

Kim Fox

#92. Hey, Macey, sorry to drop in but Cammie just had to be alone with me. You know how she gets.

Ally Carter

#93. The power of network television is amazing. I've been performing for years but have been seen on only a few episodes of this show, and people spot me in public now all the time. They say, 'Hey, aren't you on 'Nashville'?' Most locals seem to really appreciate how authentic the show is.

J. D. Souther

#94. Hey, you wanna drop back a few paces? Did you forget how spying works? You're supposed to at least aim for unobtrusive. The others pretty much have it down, but you're about as inconspicuous as a drag queen at a Girl Scout meeting.

Rachel Vincent

#95. There's something about the Oscar that gives you sort of stripes where you feel you can dare to walk into a studio like Universal and say, "Hey guys, how about an idea of me playing the wolf man?"

Benicio Del Toro

#96. I'm not leaving you. We still have a chance."
"How?"
Kayson's voice echoes his hopelessness. He's already given up.
"Hey, as long as we are still breathing, we still have a chance. If you quit, then you're quitting on me too.

Brandy Nacole

#97. I don't like the pitch count! How are you gonna develop your arm? If you're a track man you say, "Hey, you can't run too much." Or if you're a boxer you say, "Hey, you can only box three rounds." It's not right!

Tommy Lasorda

#98. Hey listen
I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.

Woody Allen

#99. Or about how when you're a child, to stop you from following the crowd you're assaulted with the line "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?" but when you're an adult and to be different is suddenly a crime, people seem to be saying, "Hey. Everyone else is jumping off a bridge. Why aren't you?

Steve Toltz

#100. My mom always does this thing where, the closer I get to home, the more she calls. 'Hey, listen, how's your plane? Did you land? Are you landing? Sweetie. Listen. We want to ... ' The anxiety amps up exponentially as I get closer, and then I can't get out fast enough.

Maria Bamford