Martha Beck Quotes

#1. Anyone who comes into your life, under any circumstances, has something to teach you.

Martha Beck

#2. There's tons of magic in the world, and it's all science.

Martha Beck

#3. Fact: From quitting smoking to skiing, we succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. Studies show that people who worry about mistakes shut down, but those who are relaxed about doing badly soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure.

Martha Beck

#4. We virtually never feel our age, but thinking that we should can lead to disaster.

Martha Beck

#5. Any moment you spend attacking yourself is a moment away from your higher purpose and your power to love. Don't go there.

Martha Beck

#6. Many people think passion is a fuzzy feeling that makes taking action effortless. In fact, it's the gritty courage and tenacity to forge onward ...

Martha Beck

#7. Polite strangers often tell soothing lies about our physical appearance that prevent many of us from facing, discussing and solving our real problems.

Martha Beck

#8. Do something today that you think is too delicious,
too selfish, too wacky to fit within the rules of your life.

Martha Beck

#9. You're exactly where you're meant to be, meandering along a crooked path.

Martha Beck

#10. Standards of beauty are arbitrary. Body shame exists only to the extent that our physiques don't match our own beliefs about how we should look.

Martha Beck

#11. I majored in Chinese. I was never really good at Chinese but I really, really benefited from having been exposed to Asian philosophy early in my life.

Martha Beck

#12. The way to find your own North Star is not to think or feel your way
forward but to dissolve the thoughts and feeling that make you miserable.
You don't have to learn your destiny
you already know it; you just have to unlearn the thoughts that blind you to what you know.

Martha Beck

#13. I want you to notice is that-right here, right now-you're okay. You may be in pain, you may be in fear, you may be in grief. But you're here, you're surviving; this moment is okay.

Martha Beck

#14. Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.

Martha Beck

#15. Whatever causes you to drop your plan forward and open to your vision, your own, deeply personal vision of what your life could be at its very best, that's what I call meeting your rhinoceros.

Martha Beck

#16. Heading towards that inner home will take you places-both inside yourself and in the external world-which your heart will recognize as its native environment, even though you have never been there before.

Martha Beck

#17. You do not owe anyone your time. When you realize that, others will respect your time much more.

Martha Beck

#18. Most unhappy people need to learn just one lesson: how to see themselves through the lens of genuine compassion, and treat themselves accordingly.

Martha Beck

#19. My point is that perceptual bias can affect nut jobs and scientists alike. If we hold too rigidly to what we think we know, we ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change our mind.

Martha Beck

#20. The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to your expectations and you become available to experience things as they are.

Martha Beck

#21. The knowledge of your destiny is available to you, well before
it actually happens, as a message streaming continuously from
your heart to your brain, written in the language of longing.

Martha Beck

#22. Instead of fretting about getting everything done, why not simply accept that being alive means having things to do? Then drop into full engagement with whatever you're doing, and let the worry go.

Martha Beck

#23. Everything I've ever taught in terms of self-help boils down to this - I cannot believe people keep paying me to say this - if something feels really good for you, you might want to do it. And if it feels really horrible, you might want to consider not doing it. Thank you, give me my $150.

Martha Beck

#24. My anguish came from my hypothesis that other people's hypothetical hypotheses about me mattered. Ridiculous!

Martha Beck

#25. Since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don't. Emotional pain or numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life.

Martha Beck

#26. Your life follows your attention. Wherever you look, you end up going.

Martha Beck

#27. Seek art from every time and place, in any form, to connect with those who really move you.

Martha Beck

#28. Once we're willing to confront our emotional suffering, we begin making choices based on attraction instead of aversion, love instead of fear. Where we used to think about what was 'safe,' we now become interested in doing what seems right or fun or meaningful or ripe with possibilities.

Martha Beck

#29. We evolved to move and to learn with all our five senses!

Martha Beck

#30. Instead of hiding your loneliness, bring it into the light. Honor it. Treat it. Heal it. You'll find that it returns the favor.

Martha Beck

#31. Do whatever it takes to convey your essential self.

Martha Beck

#32. To care for someone can mean to adore them, feed them, tend their wounds. But care can also signify sorrow, as in 'bowed down by cares.' Or anxiety, as in 'Careful!' Or investment in an outcome, as in 'Who cares?' The word love has no such range of meaning: It's pure acceptance.

Martha Beck

#33. There are several ways to mess up your life by fighting to make your calendar age match your felt age. I live in the Southwest, a part of the country with more than its share of fair skies, material wealth, and people who are trying not to be as old as they are.

Martha Beck

#34. Though we often see life troughs as the universe's conspiracy to ruin us, they're actually our own true nature inviting us to lay down our weary heads.

Martha Beck

#35. Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation.

Martha Beck

#36. If I tell a man he needs to quit his soul-sucking job, he has to go home and fight with his wife or fight with his parents and fight with his in-laws and fight with everybody, because men aren't supposed to be happy; they're supposed to do well.

Martha Beck

#37. In fact, when care appears, unconditional love often vanishes.

Martha Beck

#38. When your entire brain is active, that means you are taking everything in through all sense perception. Your entire memory bank and your instincts are in play, so you make much quicker and more intelligent choices.

Martha Beck

#39. The heart is a tender but hardy organ. Daring to have a wonderful experience, even though you may get hurt, is the only way you'll realize its deepest desires.

Martha Beck

#40. The thing I love most about my job is watching people age backward, becoming more lively and energetic as they free themselves from situations that are toxic to their essential selves.

Martha Beck

#41. Judgments that constrain your giving are the very demons that are keeping you from receiving.

Martha Beck

#42. When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.

Martha Beck

#43. Question every thought that causes suffering and test it against your own sense of truth.

Martha Beck

#44. External circumstances do not create feeling states. Feeling states create external circumstances.

Martha Beck

#45. Denial exists because human infants, though equipped with trust-o-meters, are built to trust, blindly and absolutely, any older person who wanders past.

Martha Beck

#46. Most of our stress and suffering come not from events, but from our thoughts. Reframe from negative thoughts, and stress subsides.

Martha Beck

#47. Does this feel warmer or colder?

Martha Beck

#48. If you find yourself getting nervous stop and relax for three full breaths. Then take one small step, then another. That is how people get to the top of Everest.

Martha Beck

#49. If you're living completely on your own, break out of solitary confinement. Seek to understand others, and help them understand you.

Martha Beck

#50. Painful events leave scars, true, but it turns out they're largely erasable. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist who had a stroke that obliterated her memory, described the event as losing '37 years of emotional baggage.'

Martha Beck

#51. A confession you make merely to illuminate the murky corners of your little life may end up lighting the path to freedom for a thousand other hearts.

Martha Beck

#52. Many of us assume that we have to do things a certain way: ignore passion in favor of safer bets, act stoic amid inner turmoil, run on an upward trajectory of success and money acquisition at any emotional cost. But these are not rules.

Martha Beck

#53. Do whatever work feeds your true self, even if it's not a safe bet, even if it's like a crazy risk, even if everyone in your life tells you you're wrong or bad or crazy.

Martha Beck

#54. For the vast majority of world history, human life - both culture and biology - was shaped by scarcity. Food, clothing, shelter, tools, and pretty much everything else had to be farmed or fabricated, at a very high cost in time and energy.

Martha Beck

#55. If you're miserable, make a choice.
If you're still miserable, you can choose again.

Martha Beck

#56. Trust in your truth. It will be the best decision you ever make.

Martha Beck

#57. I don't believe that there are no spiritual beings around us. I don't know what to call them, I don't know how they work. But I know they're there.

Martha Beck

#58. As much horror as we have always created, we are a species that keeps moving forward, seeing new sights in new ways, and enjoying the journey.

Martha Beck

#59. A true leader is not someone who feels fully informed but someone who continuously receives insight and guidance.

Martha Beck

#60. Having fun is not a diversion from a successful life; it is the pathway to it.

Martha Beck

#61. Your individuality is the most valuable thing you have.

Martha Beck

#62. You get social pressure from your parents, who teach you to pay attention to certain things and not to others. You get it in school.

Martha Beck

#63. Humans only really learn from each other by storytelling. We didn't evolve to memorize things. We evolved to hear each other's stories and feel them in our heart. Your life is the most powerful story you can tell.

Martha Beck

#64. Anger elicits anger, fear elicits fear, no matter how well meaning we may be.

Martha Beck

#65. Where your attention goes, your life goes.

Martha Beck

#66. Good fortune has side effects.

Martha Beck

#67. It's only by starting in a place of peace that we find our purpose and power.

Martha Beck

#68. The end goal of all of this striving is to live joyfully, and that there are often more direct ways of achieving this than conforming to rigid standards set by social custom.

Martha Beck

#69. From a place of stillness, openness, forgiveness and acceptance you can renew your commitment to any eating plan you like.

Martha Beck

#70. What happens when we're willing to feel bad is that, sure enough, we often feel bad - but without the stress of futile avoidance. Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests, and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes parts of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined.

Martha Beck

#71. Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.

Martha Beck

#72. To complete your daily mental hygiene, observe any part of you that is upset or anxious, and offer that part of yourself the following simple wishes: 'May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.' Repeat this until you actually mean it.

Martha Beck

#73. It seems to me at this moment that laughing is a serious thing, that it connects us with truth and love and God.

Martha Beck

#74. Adults under threat feel like children.

Martha Beck

#75. Creating ways to be happy is your life's work, a challenge that won't end until you die.

Martha Beck

#76. Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury. If everyday experience hasn't convinced you of this, there's research that will.

Martha Beck

#77. It takes about four days of virtuous living to create a little weight loss. That also happens to be the time required to get used to eating less. In other words, if you can get past day three of a fitness regimen, things improve.

Martha Beck

#78. Ten bajillion product ads notwithstanding, your looks are another thing that's basically genetic.

Martha Beck

#79. During the times we think we're being "unproductive," the seeds of new worlds are germinating within us, and they need peace to grow.

Martha Beck

#80. I suggest Substituting Inedible Nurturance, or SIN. Don't replace overeating with virtuous work or exercise; instead, make a list of things you love, from watching TV to hanging out with favorite people.

Martha Beck

#81. People don't cry when they lose their hope. They cry when they get it back.

Martha Beck

#82. I really do think that any deep crisis is an opportunity to make your life extraordinary in some way.

Martha Beck

#83. Children who assume adult responsibilities feel old when they're young.

Martha Beck

#84. Anything you're trying to will is focused on the future; it's always associated with some sort of anxiety that makes the present moment somewhat uncomfortable.

Martha Beck

#85. To be really productive, it's as important to rest when we're tired as it is to work when we're inspired.

Martha Beck

#86. Own your failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret but absolutely no shame, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection-the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

Martha Beck

#87. I once read that forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a different past ... but forgiving is not the same as obliterating memory.

Martha Beck

#88. Constantly measuring ourselves against others sours and shortens our lives, robbing us of the very things we think it will bring: prosperity, love, inner peace, the knowledge that we're good enough.

Martha Beck

#89. If you're religious, it gives you a perspective.

Martha Beck

#90. My dog has the intellectual capacity of a lime wedge, yet even he possesses an elaborate set of assumptions, based on his ability to control my behavior through a combination of slavish devotion and incessant howling.

Martha Beck

#91. If you want to end your isolation, you must be honest about what you want at a core level and decide to go after it.

Martha Beck

#92. Even if you can be the world's best at one thing, you'll be the world's worst at something else. Supermodels make pathetic sumo wrestlers.

Martha Beck

#93. Don't fight fearful thoughts. Just match each one with an alternative thought that brings you more peace.

Martha Beck

#94. To make an activity joyful, keep adding things until the activity as a whole becomes more appealing than repulsing.

Martha Beck

#95. I always felt that it was my job to try to help other people get it and deal with it.

Martha Beck

#96. Trying to motivate yourself with fear is like screaming
at a child, "Do something, dammit!" You'll either
freeze up or act in counterproducti ve ways. Fear
widens the knowing-doing gap. Don't use it.

Martha Beck

#97. Imagine the choices you'd make if you had no fear-of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.

Martha Beck

#98. A joyful life isn't about others; it's about the brightness that is associated with being alive. Your path to it is through anything that replaces thinking with pure flight, pure joy.

Martha Beck

#99. Don't expect the future to look like the past. Clear away expectations, and let yourself picture a wild, grand new world.

Martha Beck

#100. Basic human contact - the meeting of eyes, the exchanging of words - is to the psyche what oxygen is to the brain. If you're feeling abandoned by the world, interact with anyone you can.

Martha Beck