Top 100 Tina Fey Quotes

#1. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #18403
#2. The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they're doing well, you don't really need to be in control all the time.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #19185
#3. The upsides of acting in things is mostly getting your hair done and having people give you clothes. So as long as you can have a little bit of that in your life, then it's just as delightful to be behind camera.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #83667
#4. We all mentally prepare ourselves for wrinkles, but wrinkles are not the problem. It's the unexpected grosseries.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #110577
#5. I have a great gynecologist who is as gifted at listening as she is at rectal exams.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #124931
#6. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it's my lot in life. Some

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #159890
#7. In real life these women experienced different sides of the same sexism coin. People who didn't like Hillary called her a ballbuster. People who didn't like Sarah called her Caribou Barbie. People attempted to marginalize these women based on their gender.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #180983
#8. Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #186960
#9. It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #193342
#10. We can't expect our gay friends to always be single, celibate, and arriving early with the nacho fixin's. And we really need to let these people get married, already.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #250317
#11. There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #251550
#12. "30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #281697
#13. A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #294373
#14. SLEEP (Sleep Like Everyone Else, Please). At

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #306798
#15. Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #311465
#16. At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #317857
#17. I'm a working parent and I understand that sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. Children and Jimmy Carter ruin all your best-laid plans.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #359317
#18. When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it's not that instant kind of funny.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #373121
#19. Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: "No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat."

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #377839
#20. The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #386090
#21. I have one top-notch baby with whom I am in love. It's a head-over-heels "first love" kind of thing, because I pay for everything and all we do is hold hands.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #389643
#22. You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there's something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #392884
#23. When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #406209
#24. Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #424898
#25. You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: "No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway."

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #435517
#26. My father-in-law tripped on a crack in the pavement and spent the rest of the week politely pretending he had not dislocated his shoulder.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #447652
#27. Lots of teenage girls have taken comfort under the wings of half-closeted gay boys.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #455565
#28. However, the baby was thriving. I was no longer feeling trapped, spending thirty out of every ninety minutes attached to a Williams-Sonoma Tit Juicer. But

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #466292
#29. Photoshop is just like makeup. When it's done well it looks great, and when it's overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #482081
#30. Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #512764
#31. A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #527664
#32. This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #655294
#33. Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in "Les Miserables." I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that, since you were onstage with James Franco at the Oscars.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #692989
#34. I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you're filming something, if you're improvising a film and you're wasting film and wasting a cameraman's time.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #725859
#35. When you watched Sanford and Son you didn't want to have sex with everybody you saw just Grady.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #729554
#36. Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #749956
#37. I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #775890
#38. Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #778209
#39. Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #778864
#40. This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #795169
#41. I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #820066
#42. I'm not that good looking ... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #852611
#43. You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #875273
#44. President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #876128
#45. That turned-up collar. The jacket that zipped all the way down the front into a nice fitted shape. The white denim that made my untanned skin look like a color.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #898238
#46. It's no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #962020
#47. Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show ... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #986180
#48. The Supreme Court is expected to rule this week whether banning cross burning by groups like the Klu Klux Klan violates the first amendment. The outcome could affect the entertainment at Trent Lott's Christmas party.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #998907
#49. I hope for his sake that Tracy's apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian coworkers at 30 Rock, without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1042080
#50. I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1061027
#51. I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it'll recede. In fact, I know it will. That's life on Planet Earth. And I'm okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there?

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1067034
#52. I feel like I represent normalcy in some way.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1076932
#53. Contrary to what I believed as a little girl, being the boss almost never involves marching around, waving your arms, and chanting, I am the boss! I am the boss!

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1109701
#54. The sketch should lead the cutting pattern, which is to say content should dictate style, which is to say that in TV the writer is king.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1124319
#55. When hiring, mix Harvard Nerds with Chicago Improvisers and stir.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1166082
#56. What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct. So I spent four years attempting to charm the uninterested.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1200950
#57. Either way, everything will be fine, she smiled, and for a little while I was pulled out of my anxious, stunted brain cloud.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1205461
#58. May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1211769
#59. I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1216142
#60. Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it's good to grow up that way. It builds character.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1220555
#61. You have to let people see what you wrote. It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1266738
#62. There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1291510
#63. My favorite day at '30 Rock' is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh - it's great fun.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1357524
#64. When actors are too good-looking, I can't memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn't say, That girl's pretty. Who is that?

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1364913
#65. The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, 'Hey, check out my zit!' - you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1373891
#66. Bossypants Lesson #183: You Can't Boss People Around If They Don't Really Care

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1401588
#67. Girls get a lot of mixed messages - they are told, 'Girl Power!' and what does that mean? It means you wear a T-shirt that says, 'Girl Power!' but you call each other bitches. You make fun of a girl for being a virgin and you make fun of a girl for having sex. There's no right place to be.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1424693
#68. Lorne knows that the most exhausting people occasionally turn out the best stuff.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1425972
#69. The best of show was completely gone and we were in big trouble, except we didn't really care.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1434700
#70. Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1459976
#71. I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though I haven't improvised in awhile.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1494545
#72. In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1494666
#73. Was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, "Nice tits." Embarrassed and enraged, I screamed after him, "Suck my dick." Sure, it didn't make any sense, but at least I didn't hold in my anger.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1500383
#74. Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1529258
#75. Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1546157
#76. I don't know how many more movies I'm going to get the opportunity to make and I don't want to look back and go: "Man, I just floated through that one." Or: "I did that one for the money." I want to be able to say that I worked as a hard as I could and I did the best work that I could do.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1551521
#77. They had a place where they belonged, and, even if it was because he didn't want to deal with their being different, he didn't treat them any differently. Which I think is a pretty successful implementation of Christianity.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1584386
#78. This is a generational difference. This is the same woman who told me to request "twilight sleep" during delivery. (Twilight sleep is the memory-erasing pain medication that doctors gave women in the 1950s whenever they had to take a baby out or put a body snatcher in.) I

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1586677
#79. It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1616071
#80. The music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1643886
#81. You've gotta stop calling each sl*ts and wh*r*s. That just makes it more okay for GUYS to call you sl*ts and wh*r*s.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1661711
#82. If you're a die-hard "foodie," hop off the road in DuBois and enjoy a Subway sandwich made at a place that is eighty percent gas station.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1662906
#83. Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1676483
#84. Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1678302
#85. [ ... ] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1703853
#86. Ever since I became an executive producer of 30 Rock, people have asked me, 'Is it hard for you, being the boss?' And, 'Is it uncomfortable for you to be the person in charge?' You know, in that same way they say, 'Gosh, Mr. Trump, is it awkward for you to be the boss of all these people?

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1704162
#87. And when she [her daughter] one day turns on me and calls me a
Bitch in front of Hollister,
Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a
cab in front of her friends,
For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1719820
#88. "Admission" is Paul Weitz's movie. This is Karen Croner - the screenwriter's - movie. To have such a lovely role in such a beautifully written script offered to me, it's like elves made the shoes.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1724380
#89. You can almost hear people's b-holes tighten. A collective cartoon-mouse squeak of b-hole.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1757414
#90. (One of the best-kept secrets of "country life" is that people accidentally crush their own pets a lot.) The

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1758595
#91. It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1770229
#92. There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren't glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1797121
#93. I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That's basically how we're doing it.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1812428
#94. I don't live the single life and never really did.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1815389
#95. I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, 'Well, they get pie. It's not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.' I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1827305
#96. [T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1841933
#97. Do I worry about overly retouching photos giving women unrealistic expectations and body image issues? I do. I think that we will soon see a rise in anorexia in women over seventy. Because only people over 70 are fooled by photoshop.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1842701
#98. If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1856064
#99. She generously offered to fly in on Saturday, September 13, to

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1862687
#100. I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey Quotes #1872981

Famous Authors

Popular Topics

Scroll to Top