Top 100 Quotes About Kidding
#1. Guns tell the truth. Guns never say, "I'm only kidding." War is ugly because the truth can be ugly and war is very sincere.
Gustav Hasford
#2. Kidding?" He asked; rolling the foreign word over in his mouth like he tasted something sour.
"Yeah, you know. Joking. Ha ha ha." I said.
Micalea Smeltzer
#3. I was kidding, Hazel Grace. I understand. ( But we both know that okay is a very flirty word. Okay is BURSTING with sensuality.)
John Green
#4. I have lots of girlfriends - all over the country! You think I'm kidding? I'm dead serious. Girlfriends everywhere.
William Levy
#5. I eat excellent bread, clean meat, good crisp veggies, organic fruits and nice wine and cheese. It is one of the things I am truly grateful for. I'm not kidding. You can't ask a single mother of three working two jobs for minimum wage to eat that way. I am lucky.
Rachael Taylor
#6. It's lucky I was there. Then again, who am I kidding? I'm in most places at least once, and in 1943, I was just about everywhere.
Markus Zusak
#7. P.S. I'm going to throw an absolutely mind-blowing fact your way. I'm not kidding, either. The country of Uganda is obsessed with Celine Dion. They dedicate entire days to broadcasting her music. They love her that much. Five words. My. Heart. Will. Go. On. Yeah.
Fisher Amelie
#8. Hey, just be grateful I'm old. When an Arcadian first starts time-walking, we only have about a three percent chance of success. I once ended up on Pluto. (Sebastian) Are you serious? (Channon) They're not kidding about it being the coldest planet. (Sebastian)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#9. I got a call on a Sunday. 'Do you want to do 'The Godfather?' I thought they were kidding me, right? I said, 'Yes, of course, I love that book' - which I had never read.
Albert S. Ruddy
#10. Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)
No. I'm pissing on your rug. What do you think I'm doing? (Zarek)
I'm blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you're kidding. (Astrid)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#11. We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
Kurt Vonnegut
#12. Mohammed? Are you kidding? He was dreamed up by the Mecca Chamber of Commerce.
William S. Burroughs
#13. My eyes are brown. So are my teeth.
Just kidding about the teeth.
Richard Laymon
#14. I was kidding. Even I'm not that promiscuous. You guru people have no sense of humor."
"I'm not a guru people, and I happen to have a very well developed sense of humor. Why else would I still be talking to you?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
#15. Green Lantern: "What are your powers anyway? You can't fly."
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Super-strength?"
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Hold on a second ... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?!
Geoff Johns
#16. I feel like my life has been very serendipitous and really kind of humorous. Everything that's happened to me has been like an, 'Omigod, are you kidding me?'
Vicki Lawrence
#17. I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are ...
David Cross
#18. Baby?" She perched beside him in the chair. "You're kidding me right?" "I was trying it out, no?" "no," she said firmly Simon & Clary
Cassandra Clare
#19. Dylan? Are you kidding me? I'm breathing Dylan?" "Yes," Kym said. "That seems to be his name.
Rick Riordan
#20. I rather like the idea of having all my hours to myself: eating a Fudge Sundae, watching a movie, sleeping on my couch, singing in the bathroom, studying the woods, kidding around with a girl, playing cards lazily - all kinds of stuff that American brands 'shiftless.'
Jack Kerouac
#21. This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.
Rachel Caine
#22. I have often said in answer to inquiries as to how I got away with kidding some of our public men, that it was because I liked all of them personally, and that if there was no malice in your heart there could be none in your "Gags", and I have always said I never met a man I dident like.
Will Rogers
#23. I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
#24. Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!
Gabriel Iglesias
#25. The overture began. God! Strings! Oboes! Timpani! Are you fucking kidding me? Why, when we know what human beings are capable of doing, do we not turn our collective heads in shame at the sight of rich housewives screaming at each other on television?
Meg Howrey
#26. Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus?
Athena's answer : What an interesting idea ... No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt.
Rick Riordan
#27. I'd love to have a shoe line, or a sunglasses line, or a purse line. Who am I kidding, I'd like to have an everything line!
Bethany Cosentino
#28. We've been an empire in decline since I can remember," Ketchum said bluntly; he wasn't kidding. "We are a lost nation, Danny. Stop farting around.
John Irving
#29. Bill looks different without a suit. He was wearing his old graduate school T-shirt. Which was Brown. The school. Not the color. His girlfriend was wearing sandals and a nice flowered dress. She even had hair under her arms. No kidding!
Stephen Chbosky
#30. See, the Germans aren't kidding about the Jews. They're cooking us down to soap over there. They think we're vermin and should be 'sterminated and our corpses turned into something useful.
Herman Wouk
#31. Here, I have an opportunity to affect the lives of a lot of young people - and not just on my football team. I'm not kidding myself that that would be true at the professional level.
Joe Paterno
#32. Beneath her cheek, his heart was thumping steadily. Definitely faster than his usual near-hibernation beat. Lifting her head, she flashed him a tight smile. "I get to you."
"Are you kidding? You own me," he said, his voice running over her like silk.
Jill Shalvis
#33. During the writer's strike I was walking a line and ran into Jack Black and he said, 'We're doing Airborne 2!', and I asked, 'Are you kidding?', and he said, 'Yeah.' I like 'Airborne,' its very pure.
Seth Green
#34. Bob Scarpelli [of DDB] has told me I'd rot in hell for the commercials I've done, but I think he's kidding.
Jeff Goodby
#35. I cast a glance in my new admirer's direction. "You may call me Your Highness," I said. "Or Empress Beauty."
He chuckled. I wasn't kidding.
Gena Showalter
#36. I used to say, 'Are you kidding?' about some prices for collectibles. I don't anymore because anything that screams its era is collectible.
Judith Miller
#37. Anybody who pretends that how you read the 10th and 11th Amendment doesn't have a fundamental impact on the things we care about is kidding themselves. They're either uninformed or they're kidding themselves.
Joe Biden
#38. Harold, Julia - are you kidding? There's nothing - nothing - I've ever wanted more. My whole life. I just never thought - He stopped; he was speaking in fragments. For a minute they were all quiet, and he was finally able to look at both of them.
Hanya Yanagihara
#39. The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
John Updike
#40. It's an opportunity of a lifetime to be teamed up with (Kevin) Harvick, with Tony (Stewart), Danica (Patrick). Us four in the same meetings, it could be hell or could be great. I'm just kidding about the hell part.
Kurt Busch
#41. As one would expect, the Pope's schedule is quite disciplined - he wakes up at four o'clock each morning and runs on the treadmill for an hour. I'm totally kidding. Nobody's knees have time for that.
Jared Brock
#42. I have crushes, but they're all too old. Like Beyonce -she has a husband, I might get shot. I went up to give Beyonce a hug at the Grammys and Jay-Z said, watch out buddy! He was kidding, but you know ...
Justin Bieber
#43. Shaya's chasing Nick with her shotgun - and I'm not even kidding. I believe the last words she said to him before we left were, 'Run, Alpha-boy.
Suzanne Wright
#44. I think I sort of blossomed, so to speak, around 17. I started to get hips and put on weight, which I was very happy about. And that's when I met this agent, who told me I had to lose 10 pounds. I said, 'You've got to be kidding me. I finally got it on - I'm not losing it!'
Tricia Helfer
#45. Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals.
Penn Jillette
#46. All of my friends went to college and I got a job at Circle Pizza, where I worked for 24 hours. I had to call my mother four times to ask her how to spell Parmesan. I'm not kidding. I was a terrible speller. I think I was really nervous that I somehow didn't feel right out in the world in that way.
Sarah Paulson
#47. I'd never lie to you, though," Raquel said, then laughed. "I'm kidding! Of course I would. I lie to everyone. Honest!
Jen Meyers
#48. For example, I'm a great fan of pornography, but I don't see any reason not to restrict it so that people walking down the street who hate pornography don't have full color pictures outside of movie theaters. Let them be in a different district. I'm kidding about pornography, but you get the point.
Paul R. Ehrlich
#49. What if I decide my destiny is someone else?'
'Then that's your decision and I would respect that. Also I know a whole lot of gods to smite whoever it is you choose instead of me.'
'You-'
'Kidding! Totally kidding. Mostly kidding. Okay, not really kidding
Kiersten White
#50. The best part of being an angel investor is seeing these kids coming up with companies that get way more traffic than Reddit had when we sold it. I think, 'Are you kidding me? They're just kids, and they've done so much.'
Alexis Ohanian
#51. On corsets: I said, You have got to be kidding. I am an ape and yet I am still expected to squeeze myself into one of those damn things.
Helena Bonham Carter
#52. People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
#53. I just find it funny what people will comment on, I try to not pay that much attention to it, but the crazy part is that if I'm doing a squat and I have an action photo, they're like, "Oh your form is off!" And I'm like, are you kidding? I'm still at the gym and you're not!
Khloe Kardashian
#54. I was conveniently bisexual for a long time, and then I went, 'Come on, who am I kidding?' And I have to say, it was the single biggest step I took toward emotional well-being, to stop feeling like I had to hide who I am.
Alan Ball
#55. There are parts of us that are miserable, that hate, that love, that are cruel, are kind, are reasonable, are unreasonable. You know, you live inside your own mind. Who are you kidding?
Frederick Lenz
#56. So softly Lizzy has to lean over to hear me, I say, 'I can't face the world until I know why I'm here.'
You're kidding me.'
I shake my head vehemently. 'No. I need to figure out my purpose. Until I do, what's the use of getting up?
Wendy Mass
#57. Suppose something would happen to the president, who would be in charge? The Vice President. Joe Biden? You have got to be kidding today when you say the Taliban's not our enemy.
Douglas Wilder
#58. This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I?
Craig Benzine
#59. (You think I'm gonna tell you how much I spend on fro yo? Are you kidding me? We just met.
Brian Donovan
#60. All my important decisions are made for me by my subconscious. My frontal lobes are just kidding themselves that they decide anything at all. All they do is think up reasons for the decisions that are already made.
Rex Stout
#61. Where am I? (Nick) Hospital. (Kyrian) Really? No kidding? And here I thought I was at McDonald's. (Nick)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#62. I'm totally not kidding ... Life is too short. This is all too hard to do to actually be kidding about the whole thing.
Miranda July
#63. People will come up to me and try and be secretive and say, 'Can you do the Gollum voice for me?' And I'm like, 'Are you kidding? It's 8:30 in the morning on the Victoria Line.'
Andy Serkis
#64. I had no expectations about fatherhood, really, but it's definitely a journey I'm glad to be taking. Number one, it's a great learning experience. When my mother told me it's a 24/7 job, she wasn't kidding.
Christopher Meloni
#65. And having a strong family, you know we've lost some members of our family and had some setbacks, but I think a good family and kids all those things I thought at one time ... you got to be kidding me ... Those things are so important they enable you to go on.
Brett Favre
#66. This is like the joke where the guy climbs the mountain and asks the guru, 'What is the secret of life?,' and the guru says, 'All is One,' and the guys says, 'Are you kidding?,' and the guru says, 'You mean it isn't?
Rudy Rucker
#67. We should've looked before," Vera says, her voice soft. "We could've saved you the trouble."
"Are you kidding? The trouble was the best part.
Emma Mills
#68. You weren't kidding, Chloe. That is one beautiful bastard. I wouldn't kick him out of my bed. Or car. Or dressing room. Or elevator, or-
Christina Lauren
#69. Oops," I whispered as I met Ryan's worried gaze. "Sorry about that."
"Are you kidding? That was great!"
"Great? I knocked out the electricity."
"But you didn't blow up my room.
Kelly Oram
#70. In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.
Anthony Jeselnik
#71. Why can't you go back to playing princess?" "I never played princess." "Are you kidding?" he says. "Whenever Heather's mom took the two of you to the parade, you wore your fanciest dress, pretending to be the Winter Queen." "Exactly!" I say. "Queen, not princess. You raised me better than that.
Jay Asher
#72. It had insta-love, the bane of my existence ...
Who was I kidding? I sort of loved all that angst.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#73. Kidding yourself doesn't require that you have a sense of humor. But a sense of humor comes in handy for almost everything else.
Carrie Fisher
#74. You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?"
"I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate but ignored childhood letters.
Lia Habel
#75. I was a mime. I'm not kidding. I went to Northwestern University and they have a mime company, so we did a lot of training and then a lot of mime shows around Chicago.
Kerry Bishe
#76. [My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding.
Dick Van Dyke
#77. Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" or "Don't fear the Reaper"? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping.
Jeaniene Frost
#79. Can't you nudge her into submission? (Taryn)
Are you kidding? As stubborn as she is? I'd fry my brain trying. (Sphinx)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#80. He threw back his shoulders, a hunter preparing to stalk his prey across the night ... and pulled an iPhone out of his pocket.
"You are kidding me." I watched as he tapped through screens with practiced swipes. "There's an app for that?
Helen Keeble
#81. My grandmother looks at me and shakes her head. "He got one of those intelligent phones. Now he's trying to twit the president." "Smart phones," I correct her. "And it's tweet, not twit." "He follows me," my grandfather says defensively. "I'm not kidding, he really does!
Colleen Hoover
#82. west. He liked the mild climate, the Sierras making it something like Colorado with a seashore. It took him several years to overcome the natural though secret belief of true New Yorkers, that people living somewhere else had to be, in some sense, kidding.
Gregory Benford
#83. Are you kidding? That guy was a mystery wrapped in an enigma and crudely stapled to a ticking fucking time bomb. He was either going to hit somebody or start a blog.
Lev Grossman
#84. So, you got QVC? (Simi) Afraid not, sweetie. (Astrid) You got Soap Net? (Zarek shook his head.) You got any TV? (Simi) Sorry. (Zarek) Are you kidding? You boring people. A demon needs her cable. Akri done tricked me. He didn't tell me I'd have to go without cable. (Simi)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#85. My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
Ellen DeGeneres
#86. You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile.
Rachel Caine
#87. He had to be kidding. If he had been any more toned, I might have dry humped his leg when I first saw him at Dairy Queen.
S.M. Reine
#88. Who does this teenage version of the Brawny paper-towel guy think he's kidding?
Rick Yancey
#89. Logan?'
'Yes?' I pulled my clothes back on even though the fabric stuck to my wounds. So much for trying to keep them clean.
'How did you know it wasn't really me?'
'Are you kidding? Your eyeballs could be on fire and you wouldn't bat your lashes at me like that.
Alyxandra Harvey
#90. I had to dare a little bit. Who am I kidding-I had to dare a lot. Dont wear one ring, wear five or six. People ask how I can play with all those rings, and I reply, Very well, thank you.
Liberace
#91. I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.
Sloane Crosley
#92. Any respectable artist has really given up on a label because the labels are still kidding themselves that the only way to go is to sign these big names like Lady Gaga and expect to make gazillions.
Tony Visconti
#93. Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you're kidding.
Daniel Handler
#94. I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe.
Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead.
A&E Kirk
#95. You're kidding," i said. "i'm thinking about plans for doomsday, and you're worried about being late to a dance?
Serpent's Shadow Rick Riordan
#96. The president of the United States can't even fire his chef. I'm not kidding.
Rob Lowe
#97. Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!
Jon Ronson
#98. All kidding aside, this is a new beginning for Kate and me. A fresh start. I'll be a perfect
gentleman. Scout's honor.
Then again, I never was a Boy Scout.
Emma Chase
#99. We were surrounded by thirty-foot-tall giants who were about to kill us. Then the sky opened up, and the gods descended."
"Grandad," the kids said, "you are full of schist."
"I'm not kidding!" he protested.
Rick Riordan
#100. When I've written for Bill Murray - I've written six films for him - people would read it and say, "Oh, that's so perfectly Bill." He'd read it and say, "Are you kidding? I can't say these words." So it's all about perception.
Harold Ramis
