Top 80 Midget Quotes
#1. I was bullied a lot because I was a midget in this land of giants I lived in. Sometimes, my only weapon was whatever I could throw. I couldn't be held responsible. I didn't choose the short life; the short life chose me.
Nicole Banks
#2. What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
#4. A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said.
"Actually, she wasn't a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel."
"Easy mistake to make," Jem said.
Cassandra Clare
#5. Alan Grant: "There are ... far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought."
The Midget (his nurse): "You sound constipated.
Josephine Tey
#7. Call me a midget, but just be real. I am all for correct terms, but please don't tiptoe around feelings. Don't be too careful, because that shuts you off from people.
Peter Dinklage
#8. I found the word dwarf really offensive, but there was not one better synonym in the dictionary. Midget? Pygmy? Manikin? Homunculus? They all sounded worse to me, so I had to accept my fate.
Nick Nwaogu
#9. I frowned. This from a man who just watched a midget riding a gimp?
Jaye Wells
#10. I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.
Bo Burnham
#11. I took the Nuban's bow. I didn't trust the midget to be able to run down any thieves, and besides, I might want to shoot a circus clown or two. Just for laughs.
Mark Lawrence
#13. If you want a midget to look like a baby, don't put a cigar in his mouth.
Chuck Jones
#14. Well, and he supposed a duel with a drunken midget was as good a test as any.
Diana Gabaldon
#15. Any time a little midget does something like this, you gotta give him a 10!.
Charles Barkley
#16. Ninety-five per cent of my language problems are the fault of that stupid little midget.
Gianfranco Zola
#17. I felt puny and absurd, a ludicrous midget. Easy enough to talk of soul and spirit and essential worth, but not when you're three feet tall.
Richard Matheson
#18. I have finally taught Dean that he can do anything he wants, become mayor of Denver, marry a millionairess, or become the greatest poet since Rimbaud. But he keeps rushing out to see the midget auto races
Jack Kerouac
#19. It was two whacked-out guys who said they always wanted to kidnap a midget.
Janet Evanovich
#20. Yes, I'm sure [the princess] thinks daily of a delinquent midget apprentice growing up to claim her hand ahead of all the nobles and princes of the realm. What could any of them possibly give that you don't have, except titles, land, wealth and all that.
Jonathan Renshaw
#21. I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.
Karl Pilkington
#22. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn't mean that you would be a midget if you were bald.
Lemony Snicket
#23. It's a sad day for American Capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite over central park.
Jim Moran
#24. How can you have a rock n' roll circus without a midget?
Nikki Sixx
#26. If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt
#27. I'm not too heavy?" she asked. He had just come off crutches, after all.
Sophie, you're practically a midget," he reminded her.
Sarah Mayberry
#28. Haruka: I was waiting out front, but you never came. So I came looking for you. And sure enough you're in the midget's clutches!
Otani: This isn't a B-movie, it's a school where you aren't a student!
Aya Nakahara
#29. Feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace
Ludacris
#30. Better feed him more beans or you're going to have a midget on your hands, Wiley," he said. "It's bad enough to be deaf, but to be a deaf midget ... oh God, help us. I had a dog like that once.
Nick Wilgus
#31. Shoot eagles on the Jack Nicklaus course,
Porsche with the triple exhaust,
Seats soft like a midget's cough ...
Action Bronson
#32. Kochu Maria, the vinegar-hearted, short-tempered, midget cook, were
Arundhati Roy
#33. What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat.
Bill Veeck
#34. There's a Drunk Midget in My House
Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!
Tina Fey
#35. Midget, midget, midget, how he struts and winks,
For he knows a man's as big as what he hopes and thinks!
Kurt Vonnegut
#36. Excuse me, Mr Tall-and-Good-looking Wolfman, but can you help the English midget reach the sauce?' I think not.
Joss Stirling
#37. The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfeld deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.
Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf
#38. The one thing little people don't like is the 'M' word, 'midget.'
Martin Klebba
#39. That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'.
Jaye Wells
#40. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W.C. Fields
#41. I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W.C. Fields
#42. Despite his short stature, the midget was obviously someone not to be crossed. She
Martyn V. Halm
#43. That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.
~ Catch-22
Joseph Heller
#45. If you want to be called a dwarf you must be in immediate possession of a battle axe cause otherwise your just a midget with an attitude.
Ralphie May
#46. They say a midget standing on a giant's shoulders can see much further than the giant. So I got the whole rap world on my shoulders, they trying to see further than I am.
Jay-Z
#47. The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W.C. Fields
#48. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg
#49. Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close."
"Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
Janet Evanovich
#50. There are far too many people born into the world, and far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought." "You sound constipated," said The Midget.
Josephine Tey
#51. Germany is an economic giant but a political midget, and with the end of the Cold War she has started to muscle her presence throughout Europe and the world.
Christo
#52. From what I've seen, a girl's got to behave like a mental midget before she'll get any action in this town. If resisting that makes me a freak, so be it. I may die with my hymen intact, but at least I'll have my dignity" ~ Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
Jody Gehrman
#53. I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so.
Chelsea Handler
#54. I would pore for hours over the stalls of worn necklaces, sets of gilt spoons, sugar tongs in the shape of hen's feet or midget hands, clocks that didn't work, flowered china, spotty mirrors and ponderous furniture, the flotsam left by those receding centuries in which, more and more, I was living.
Margaret Atwood
#55. You see, to tall men I'm a midget, and to short men I'm a giant; to the skinny ones I'm a fat man, and to the fat ones I'm a thin man.
Norton Juster
#56. That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed up in a cheap fur coat.
J.D. Salinger
#57. Day baseball is now dead for all practical purposes. Sooner or later, the game will be played in its entirety at night, and as I've said before, then baseball will be squarely in the amusement, the entertainment business along with wrestling, midget auto racing and the trotting tracks.
Larry MacPhail
#58. That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
#59. Don't you think baby corns are scary? There's just something wrong about their midget bodies.
P.C. Cast
#60. Aaah ... when two Neptunes appear in the sky it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry ...
J.K. Rowling
#61. Watch out for the medallion, my diamonds are reckless,
Feels like a midget is hangin from my necklace!
Ludacris
#62. Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
Al Yankovic
#63. Is this the baby?" I said.
Ma turned on me again.
"What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?
George Saunders
#65. Musk loves costume parties as well, and turned up at one dressed like a knight and using a parasol to duel a midget wearing a Darth Vader costume.
Ashlee Vance
#66. I have a wonderful assistant. I tell her I need four amputees and a midget, and she finds them.
Nikki Sixx
#67. It's not my fault, that I'm flat chested and a midget!
Cassandra Clare
#68. Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.
Dave Attell
#69. Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
Leslie Nielsen
#70. My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.
E. J. Holub
#71. You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?
Jubal Early
#72. I assure you that the training that you get in a midget, in a sprint car and perhaps in a Silver Crown car is really the kind of experience that makes you into a damn good race driver.
Rodger Ward
#73. Yes, Hart, I went commando to a diplomatic function," Harry said, and then motioned to his body. "And now, as you can see, I'm going Spartan so a midget can whack me with a stick." He bent and picked up his Bongka. "Honestly, Hart. Help me out here. Focus a little.
John Scalzi
#74. You open a door and find a midget, and there's no way you can be in a bad mood. It's just not possible.
Tim Dorsey
#75. A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
Tom Waits
#76. Let's go inside. I always find walking inside buildings has this bizarre effect on me. I immediately forget uncomfortable situations, like when tiny midget women straddle my best friend's boyfriend and face-rape him.
Frankie Rose
#77. She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.
Clive James
#78. You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that's the bunk. It's little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes.
Billy Wilder
#79. (Of Marilyn Monroe) She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short
Clive James
#80. Many of us are confessional giants but ethical midgets.
Mark Buchanan
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