Top 39 Leslie Nielsen Quotes
#2. I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!
Leslie Nielsen
#3. The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.
Leslie Nielsen
#4. Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.
Leslie Nielsen
#5. The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.
Leslie Nielsen
#7. When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy.
Leslie Nielsen
#8. One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.
Leslie Nielsen
#10. I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent.
Leslie Nielsen
#12. I used to have this dream that somebody was knocking at my door. I'd say 'Who is it?' and they'd answer 'Police.' I'd open the door and they would say to me, 'Pack your bags. We realized you have no talent.
Leslie Nielsen
#13. Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.
Leslie Nielsen
#14. I had always functioned with dignity, wanting to appear intelligent, macho, never vulnerable or insecure. But now I realize that ... a part of these comic characters is a fundamental part of me too.
Leslie Nielsen
#15. Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.
Leslie Nielsen
#16. I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf. There goes the Nike account.
Leslie Nielsen
#17. I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
Leslie Nielsen
#19. The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.
Leslie Nielsen
#20. Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
Leslie Nielsen
#21. Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
Leslie Nielsen
#22. The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.
Leslie Nielsen
#24. I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.
Leslie Nielsen
#25. I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it.
Leslie Nielsen
#27. Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.
Leslie Nielsen
#29. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?
Leslie Nielsen
#30. It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.
Leslie Nielsen
#31. It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do.
Leslie Nielsen
#32. There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.
Leslie Nielsen
#33. Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.
Leslie Nielsen
#34. Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.
Leslie Nielsen
#35. It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!
Leslie Nielsen
#36. I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.
Leslie Nielsen
#37. Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished.
Leslie Nielsen
#38. There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until the thaw to turn him in.
Leslie Nielsen
#39. I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.
Leslie Nielsen
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
