Top 100 Mindy Kaling Quotes
#1. I am the kind of person that is drawn to colors against my will.
Mindy Kaling
#2. What I'd really like to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity.
Mindy Kaling
#3. Bribes and boy bands. That's all you need to be a babysitter.
Mindy Kaling
#4. I skipped out of the Fox lot, threw my Keds back on, resisted the temptation to go over to the Simpsons building and take selfies with the Bart Simpson topiary,
Mindy Kaling
#5. I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween.
Mindy Kaling
#6. I'm getting made fun of because I used to be fat? The laws of bullying allow you to be cruel even when the victim had made strides for improvement? This is when I realized that bullies have no code of conduct.
Mindy Kaling
#7. I have crushes on celebrities or people I meet or see in the coffee shop, and every day I fall in love with three people simply because they said one funny thing or appeared to me in a certain way.
Mindy Kaling
#8. When I watch roasts, I actually feel physically uncomfortable, like when I see a crow feast on a squirrel that has been hit by a car buy has not stopped moving yet.
Mindy Kaling
#9. So things were coming together nicely for me to embark on a full-fledged depression. One good thing about New York is that most people function daily while in a low-grade depression.
Mindy Kaling
#10. Bennifer was so big it was as though two people had never been in love before, and they had discovered it.
Mindy Kaling
#11. I've always loved clothes. Like any normal woman, I would see a dress, buy it, rip the tags off with my teeth, save the buttons for ten to twelve years in a drawer, and wear it to work.
Mindy Kaling
#12. I got a text. It was Will, on Air Force One, about to take off back to Washington: I should've kissed you. That's on me.
Mindy Kaling
#13. A bunch of unearned trophies around the house would make me hooked on awards, which is bad in general, but especially bad if you don't deserve them. The whole experience made me want to win another trophy, but win it for actually doing something great.
Mindy Kaling
#14. To have a complete outfit designed, for me, is easier than trying to find pieces that work together.
Mindy Kaling
#15. I think references, where they fit organically, are great. It's great to do a show that's real and relatable, and so much of what is real, is using real things and instances that are specific. Specificity is the best tool you can have, as a writer.
Mindy Kaling
#16. I always wanted the reboot of Ghostbusters to be four girl-ghostbusters.
Mindy Kaling
#17. I don't ever remember being able to debate with my parents. Even though I thought of myself as a very bright kid, I couldn't be vocal in that way.
Mindy Kaling
#18. It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
Mindy Kaling
#19. What? I have a cold. Don't get a look of terror on your face. The worst that could happen is that you'll get a cold, too. You don't have to theatrically Purell a thousand times a day and look all panicky every time I come into the room.
Mindy Kaling
#20. I love talking about clothes with women; it's like a code because women dress for women.
Mindy Kaling
#21. Is soap cool again, or is body wash still the way to go?
Mindy Kaling
#22. Every day, I wake up and I'm like, "Oh, I'm the star of my own show that has my name in it and I get to write it and hire actors that I've loved for such a long time!" It's amazing!
Mindy Kaling
#23. I'm Indian-American and I think that when I think of myself as being culturally Indian, it had so much to do with when I lived with my parents and was a kid because they would take me to the Diwali festivals. They would take me to the temple, and they would teach me about all the different holidays.
Mindy Kaling
#24. I'm someone who loves romance. I always have loved it. Most people who grew up as nerds, as I was, surprisingly, have loved romance.
Mindy Kaling
#25. In terms of my Indianness, I try not to rely on it nor deny it. When it comes up organically in my writing, we can address it. About five years ago, we wrote this episode of 'The Office,' called 'Diwali,' which seemed like an organic way of using it.
Mindy Kaling
#26. I knew that the best way to get out of chores, or sports, or talking to elderly relatives on the phone was by holding up a book and saying, But I'm just enjoying Little House on the Prairie so much!
Mindy Kaling
#27. When I was growing up, I didn't do plays in downtown Boston, and my parents weren't putting me in auditions. They never thought, Oh, she has a gift! They never thought of me as an entertainer when I was a young kid.
Mindy Kaling
#28. I guess when you go to business school you never turn business off.
Mindy Kaling
#29. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it. So, yeah, it all added up to a happy, memorable time. Even though I was never a star.
Mindy Kaling
#30. Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered
Mindy Kaling
#31. Back then, we all thought Lever 2000 was the best because the number "2000" seemed so impressive. Were there 1999 formulas before they landed on this one? That sounds really well researched. I'm in!
Mindy Kaling
#32. It wasn't until later that I realized Paul's quietness was a result of his confidence. He didn't need to shout to be heard.
Mindy Kaling
#33. When Your Boyfriend Fits into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities The
Mindy Kaling
#34. I stupidly memorize my credit card and use it about thrice weekly for online shopping. The only reason I don't bankrupt myself is that I return about 75% of what I buy.
Mindy Kaling
#35. And that's all show business is, really. Transitioning panics.
Mindy Kaling
#36. I had to learn a skill set. I think I had the materials to be a good comedy writer.
Mindy Kaling
#37. I think a lot of people compare female writers or female comedians to each other in a way that men are not. Male comedy writers are not scrutinized.
Mindy Kaling
#38. I always knew I wanted kids, but when my mom passed away I was like, 'I want a bunch of kids. I want three kids or four kids, and I want to have that relationship again.' I can't bring my mom back, but I can have children.
Mindy Kaling
#39. When you're that low on the totem pole, you sometimes think you're so unimportant that no one can hear you.
Mindy Kaling
#40. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.
Mindy Kaling
#41. People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What's wrong with me?
Mindy Kaling
#42. I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints.
Mindy Kaling
#43. There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
Mindy Kaling
#44. I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I'm able to compete in?
Mindy Kaling
#45. You know when you meet someone so smart and cool that all their tastes and opinions seem like the correct ones? And you instantly think: those are my opinions now too!
Mindy Kaling
#46. My dad's whole family is in Madras and I was born in America so we didn't have that big Indian community. I don't really have anything interesting to say about it. When I talk about it people are like, 'meh, let's talk about something else.'
Mindy Kaling
#47. People take things at face value on social media. Earnestness is the assumption.
Mindy Kaling
#48. Who is the beauty icon that inspires you the most? Is it Sophia Loren? Audrey Hepburn? Halle Berry? Mine is Nosferatu, because that vampire taught me my number-one and number-two favorite beauty tricks of all time: avoid the sun at all costs and always try to appear shrouded in shadows.
Mindy Kaling
#49. If you are going to ask your crush for their phone number, you are one of the small group of women I am so jealous of.
Mindy Kaling
#50. I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always. That
Mindy Kaling
#51. One got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat.
Mindy Kaling
#52. The chorus of "Jack and Diane" is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.
Mindy Kaling
#53. I am always surprised at what movie studios think people will want to see. I'm even more surprised at how often they are correct.
Mindy Kaling
#54. If I could make a device where people could just intuit everything you are thinking - a little cable you plug into, like, a USB port, I would make a billion dollars.
Mindy Kaling
#55. Be like Allan Pearl. Sit next to the class clown and study him. Then grow up, take everything you learned, and get paid to be a real-life clown, unlike whatever unexciting thing the actual high school class clown is doing now.
Mindy Kaling
#56. Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.
Mindy Kaling
#57. [ ... ]Frisbee people won't let it go. My theory is that this is because there's a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America.
Mindy Kaling
#58. But my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things. P. 202
Mindy Kaling
#59. My dad is funny in his own way, and so is my brother, but in terms of legitimately making a lot of people laugh, that's my mom. I inherit my sense of comedy from her.
Mindy Kaling
#60. I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about.
Mindy Kaling
#61. It doesn't help for you to name a character's first name be Mindy and then be like, "I'm nothing like the character."
Mindy Kaling
#62. There are not many relationships more powerful than that of two women who fall fast and deep into a friendship. It was heartbreaking to be loved and left.
Mindy Kaling
#63. There's the psychotic ambitious side of myself that wants a fashion line and my own network and be like a combination of Oprah and Gwen Stefani. And have a perfume. Definitely a perfume.
Mindy Kaling
#64. I think a lot of writers, male and female, write as if their parents were killed in a car accident when they were 2, and they have no one to hold accountable. And unfortunately, I don't have that. I have parents who I care about what they think.
Mindy Kaling
#65. For heaven's sake, if you don't know someone's name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, "Nice to see you!" and make weak eye contact.
Mindy Kaling
#66. Sports movies had brainwashed me into the belief that when the chips are down the most, that is when success is the most inevitable.
Mindy Kaling
#67. Who is this invisible antiterrorist? It's me, Mindy Kaling. I was hiding behind Cee Lo's fur coat, and no one saw me.
Mindy Kaling
#68. From now on, let's all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is "made out." And if you're older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn't count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you're Mormon, in which case you're going to hell.
Mindy Kaling
#69. Not to be weird, but I still have an ongoing relationship with my mom, even though she passed away, and I've been surprised at how much I've been able to convey to her. Now I sound like a total weirdo, but that's true.
Mindy Kaling
#70. Why is everyone trying to tell me that when you get older it gets better?
Mindy Kaling
#71. Sometimes you will meet idiots who are technically adults and authority figures. You don't have to do what they say. You can calmly say, 'Can I first call my mom and ask if I have to do this, please?
Mindy Kaling
#72. Is Dwight really like that in real life?" to which I respond: "Oh, no, Rainn isn't like Dwight. Dwight is an angel next to Rainn. Rainn is a demon.
Mindy Kaling
#73. There was silence. No one looked at me. People pretended to be absorbed in their phones. One writer didn't even have a phone, so he just pretended to be absorbed in his hand.
Mindy Kaling
#74. I don't need marriage. I don't need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now.
Mindy Kaling
#75. That's because my show is on a major network and you can't show all that stuff, and also because my dad is alive and I would like to have lunch with him without feeling mired in dishonor.
Mindy Kaling
#76. I am slightly offended by the way busy working women my age are presented in film. I'm not, like, always barking orders into my hands-free phone device and telling people constantly, "I have no time for this!" I didn't completely forget how to be nice and feminine because I have a career.
Mindy Kaling
#77. A not 100-percent-perfect-looking-in-every-way female? You might as well film a dead squid decaying on a beach somewhere for two hours.
Mindy Kaling
#78. I had placed a lot of faith in Woody Allen's belief that 80 percent of success is just showing up. I said to myself: Are you serious? 80 percent? Sure, I can just show up. Here I am, New York! Give me a job!
Mindy Kaling
#79. Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.
Mindy Kaling
#80. My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.
Mindy Kaling
#81. I have never regretted erring on the side of withholding information.
Mindy Kaling
#82. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out.
Mindy Kaling
#83. I'm an actor and a writer and a showrunner and I edit my show ... I have a job that three people usually have, and I have it in one person. And the idea that the critic thought that I had this excess of time for which I could go to, like, panels or write essays was just so laughable to me.
Mindy Kaling
#84. Remember, this was back in the '90s, before the only way to be a cool teenager was to have a baby or a reality show (or both).
Mindy Kaling
#85. I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?
Mindy Kaling
#86. Don't be closer to twice a friend's weight than to her actual weight, I told myself. This little mantra has helped me stave off obesity for more than two decades.
Mindy Kaling
#87. B.J. and I watched Lost on his portable DVD player, which is just about the most 2007 thing you can do.
Mindy Kaling
#88. Which I would write on Sunday afternoons sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor with no pants on.
Mindy Kaling
#89. Stay in school and be a respectful and hardworking wallflower, and go to an accredited non-online university
Mindy Kaling
#90. There's a whole list of things I would probably change about myself. For example, I'm always trying to lose fifteen pounds. But I never need to be skinny. I don't want to be skinny. I'm constantly in a state of self-improvement but I don't beat myself up over it.
Mindy Kaling
#91. A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.
Mindy Kaling
#92. Right now, I'm hankering for new adventures ... Ninety percent of the time I'm having romantic-comedy fantasies in which I'm wearing little pencil skirts and hurrying down to the subway.
Mindy Kaling
#93. We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini. If you messed with one of us, you knew you messed with both of us, and Voldemort was going to cast a murder spell on you, or Nagini was going to chomp on your jugular.
Mindy Kaling
#94. Comedy writers have the most fragile egos.
Mindy Kaling
#95. I think that when you're 5'4 and 150 pounds and you love to chat and you have a blog about shopping, trying to maintain a tiny bit of mystery where you possibly can is not a bad thing.
Mindy Kaling
#96. I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
Mindy Kaling
#97. My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive.
Mindy Kaling
#98. As you can see, when I write, I like to look like I'm recovering from tuberculosis.
Mindy Kaling
#99. I cannot imagine a life more boring and a more time-consuming obsession than being preoccupied with watching what I eat. I
Mindy Kaling
#100. My dad is a very snappy dresser; he gets all his stuff tailored. He's an architect, so he's a little more artistically minded.
Mindy Kaling
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