Top 76 Toaster Quotes
#1. This stupid toaster is ruining my life!
Cole Gibsen
#2. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
Red Skelton
#3. And why is the toaster in the pantry?" Julian said. "I couldn't find any other . . ." Mark seemed to be searching for words. "Electrical outlets." "And why is Tavvy in a bag of sugar?" Mark shrugged. "He wanted to be in a bag of sugar." "That
Cassandra Clare
#4. It's really fun to have a convection oven, even it if it's a little convection toaster oven. It really changes the way you bake.
Tom Douglas
#5. I figured if I hoped hard enough, you wouldn't stand a chance, that even if you were straight, you'd succumb to my sparkling charm and wit and you'd convert just for me."
I almost choked on the last sip of my wine. "And you'd win the toaster oven," I teased.
"Yes,
Eva Indigo
#7. No matter how rich you are; you still only need one good toaster in the morning to get going.
Brendan Nolan
#8. I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
Mitch Hedberg
#9. I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
Rodney Dangerfield
#10. When I need bread, I grab the toaster and stick niggas for they crumbs.
Akinyele
#11. [The Toaster]
A silver-scaled dragon with jaws flaming red
sits at my elbow and toasts my bread.
I hand him fat slices, then one by one
he hands them back when he sees they are done.
William Jay Smith
#12. Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
Dave Barry
#13. You'd think that people would have figured out by now that sticking a fork into the toaster is perhaps not the best idea. Oh well, score another point for Darwinism, I suppose.
Gary Whitta
#14. Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube is a Gelatinous Cube?
Cassandra Clare
#15. AI does not keep me up at night. Almost no one is working on conscious machines. Deep learning algorithms, or Google search, or Facebook personalization, or Siri or self driving cars or Watson, those have the same relationship to conscious machines as a toaster does to a chess-playing computer.
Ramez Naam
#16. Luke came out when I slid down the lever on the slice of bread. I heard him moving around but I started at the toaster as if I was certain it would animate and start dancing around like all the stuff in the Beast's house in that Disney movie and I didn't want to miss the show.
Kristen Ashley
#17. Some things, however, should happen in the correct order. Shoes go on after socks. Peanut butter is applied after the bread comes out of the toaster, not before. And grandchildren are born after their grandparents.
Rysa Walker
#18. I remember when I was growing up, you would go to a bank to open a deposit, and they'd give you a toaster. A free toaster. These days, if you're a company, and you go to a bank, they could easily turn you away! They don't want your deposits anymore.
Mohamed El-Erian
#19. Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. I'm ready. My toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make me some Pop-Tarts, bitch.
Chuck Klosterman
#20. You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.
Tim Cook
#21. You're getting too old for a stuffed animal. So we traded your bear for a toaster.
Philip C. Stead
#22. Quote taken from Chapter 1 of The Corpse Wore Gingham:
"You love to figure out things as much as I do," Piper said.
"Like what?" Bill asked.
"You fix broken stuff," Piper replied.
"Repairing a broken toaster or steam iron is far different than unraveling a murder mystery," Bill said.
Ed Lynskey
#23. I often say to prospective clients, 'Nothing will age faster than your hardware.' Even the thinnest touch screen will look like a toaster oven in a number of years.
Jake Barton
#25. If Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana were "candles in the wind," and Anna Nicole Smith was a bonfire in a hailstorm, and Lindsay Lohan is an electric toaster thrown intentionally into a Jacuzzi, then Paris Hilton s a strobe light in an epilepsy ward.
Cintra Wilson
#26. But sometimes I think Dad suspects. Sometimes I think the toaster suspects.
Jandy Nelson
#27. Television is just another appliance- It's just a toaster with pictures.
Mark S. Fowler
#29. Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.
Calvin Trillin
#30. Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster?
Walt Mossberg
#31. Your eyes flash like Fourth-of-July sparklers, headlights on a mountain road, sparks in a short-circuited toaster.
Dennis Vickers
#32. When you sit down to design something, it can be anything, a car, a toaster, a house, a tall building or a shoe, what you draw or what you design is really a culmination of everything that you've seen and done in your life previous to that point.
Tinker Hatfield
#33. I already was yours, Ethan. The minute you put my panties in the toaster oven, I knew you were the one."
"Yeah? I'll admit that was an inspired move."
Noelle August
#34. From my own experience, I can tell you that there are mornings when you sit down at the typewriter and knock out three pages in forty-five minutes, and you look at yourself in the toaster over breakfast and your head's all misshapen and pointy, and you say, "Son, you were born with talent.
Pete Dexter
#36. I think we've been dulled by capitalism. We're just blobs now - we're so worried about how we can keep paying the lease on the car, the mortgage, the lease on the toaster and all that. You can't really think about much else. If you lose that, you lose the whole lot.
Rupert Everett
#37. He racked his brain, but it had gone. An old friend of his - Professor Francois Trimaud - had once said in a similar situation, 'leave it in the toaster and the answer will pop up.
Simon Rosser
#38. Love's not a faulty toaster. You can't take it apart and study the pieces, replace a part and figure out how it all fits back together. You just feel it.
Nora Roberts
#39. The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.
Charlie Sheen
#40. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
Sam Levenson
#41. From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!
Russell Howard
#42. Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.
Hal Sparks
#43. Ariel is capable of whispering the same way a toaster is capable of flight.
Brenna Yovanoff
#44. My toaster could have a soul,and the walnut grove to the east of my house could be just a bunch of trees or could be made from the atoms of Elvis or Mussolini.Why not?
A.S. King
#45. He rooted for the Mets, he wore Foot of the Loom underwear, and he drove a Buick. His loyalties were carved in stone and he wasn't about to be impressed with some upstart of a toaster salesman who drove a Bonneville.
Janet Evanovich
#47. Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.
Alfred Hitchcock
#48. I have avoided becoming stale by putting a little water on the plate, lying on the plate, and having myself refreshed in a toaster oven for 23 minutes once every month.
Dean Koontz
#49. The Macintosh lacked a fan, another example of Jobs's dogmatic stubbornness. Fans, he felt, detracted from the calm of a computer. This caused many component failures and earned the Macintosh the nickname "the beige toaster," which did not enhance its popularity.
Walter Isaacson
#50. Backs. Followed by the traditional Burning of the Gifts. Everyone would gather to watch the toaster and blender explode. Followed by the sacrificial drowning of a bridesmaid, the one who'd caught the fucking bouquet?
Laura Kasischke
#52. My full name is Lauren Lee Smith. Of all the names I could have been given, that's the one I got. Lauren Lee Smith. It has all the personality of a toaster.
Elizabeth Scott
#53. I knew I was an unwanted child when my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers
#54. What I think is all I have left. My mind is the only thing that makes me different from a fancy toaster. What we think does matter-it's all we truly have.
Mary E. Pearson
#55. I knew a kid who stuck a knife in the toaster on a few occasions. He learned it hurt. He grew up to be a great electrician.
Travis J. Dahnke
#56. Whether it's a relationship or a toaster that's broken, they just replace it. You're bound to fall out and have arguments and you should work at getting the relationship back together, but nobody wants to any more.
Karl Pilkington
#57. wanted to build a toaster from scratch. He started by taking apart a
Tim Harford
#58. And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington
#59. Democracy is a gleaming Excalibur - let's not use it just to mend the toaster.
Russell Brand
#60. Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry
#61. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Dave Barry
#62. You can't be a perfect environmentalist unless you're Ed Begley, Jr., whom I once saw on TV using a bicycle to power his toaster. He's amazing.
Sara Gilbert
#63. We get a fat-slicked chocolate chip muffin, which we heat up in the rotating toaster machine. Standing next to it, the heat radiating off its coils, I imagine myself suffering eternal damnation for sins not yet clear.
Megan Abbott
#64. Do that, and the best you can hope for is that people will ignore you. More realistically, you'd be skinned alive, or possibly sentenced to ten year hard labor writing microcode for waffle irons and toaster ovens.
Scott Meyers
#66. Many people continue to think of sharks as man-eating beasts. Sharks are enormously powerful and wild creatures, but you're more likely to be killed by your kitchen toaster than a shark!
Ted Danson
#67. Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.
Ann Coulter
#68. Somebody left the American Dream in the toaster too long. It's now burnt to a crisp.
Joe Bageant
#69. In the original 'Star Wars' movie, there is a small toaster-sized and shaped robot on the Death Star that guides Stormtroopers to where they need to go. I always liked that robot because I could imagine how to build it - and it served a real purpose.
Colin Angle
#70. The toaster (lacking real bread) would pretend to make two crispy slices of toast. Or, if the day seemed special in some way, it would toast an imaginary English muffin.
Thomas M. Disch
#71. What if I take you apart and turn you into a toaster oven, how would you like that tin can?
Julie Kagawa
#72. Then I tug the toaster from the wall and swing the appliance around my head like a lasso. I'm not aiming to knock her out. I'm aiming to knock off her fucking head.
J.A. Konrath
#73. Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
Erma Bombeck
#74. In any case, muffins that are only imaginary aren't liable to get stuck.
Thomas M. Disch
#76. So, without saying anything to the others, it made its way to the farthest corner of the meadow and began to toast an imaginary muffin. That was always the best way to unwind when things got to be too much for it.
Thomas M. Disch
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