Top 16 St John Morris Quotes

#1. Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she'd only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen. So I grabs her head and I stuck it through a display of them Muller's rices and I told her. That's for shagging Kevin Cooper you stupid fucking cunt.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #173403
#2. St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful XR3i.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #353119
#3. The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Who's Got the Stupidest Name (WGSN) competition. First prize had already gone to Brian Burdock, a French Algerian with a penchant for Longchamp.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #520517
#4. I once went to one of his Virgin Vie parties and had a really good time watching Chas having a paddy whilst trying to put on Dave's socks, before realising that he only had two feet, compared to Dave's three.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #542638
#5. Tobak Davenport, who is a cross between some Sugar Puffs and Lynn Faulds-Wood, was squatting there before being removed by the local constabulary after he went round to complain about Luther Blisset's pet turkey fouling the communal herb garden.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #588155
#6. What have you got in there you little bastard?

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #740005
#7. Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #802132
#8. Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore tree and using his nose as an Allen Key to release a starving rat.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #927722
#9. A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1008425
#10. Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1360758
#11. There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn't hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his lunch hour picking his bum, and Judith Glycerine, the reformation pig.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1401336
#12. Next door to the Bensons is Emmet Frag, a retired pacemaker who is credited with inventing the notion of happiness. He's currently working on a method for categorising ducks based on their singing voice. He's also the owner of the world's largest collection of tenor geese.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1470055
#13. Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter's day.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1561423
#14. Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1610578
#15. You little prick. It's a whelk ... it's a ... it's a ... dead whelk!

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1700670
#16. Your toaster's a puff.

St John Morris

St John Morris Quotes #1813971

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