Russell Howard Famous Quotes & Sayings

Browse top 24 famous quotes and sayings by Russell Howard. Read & share Russell Howard quotes pictures with friends. Free using on Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 24 Russell Howard Quotes

#1. Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #989649
#2. I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1805219
#3. I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1777801
#4. She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!". - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1766812
#5. What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1668124
#6. 'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!' - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1665934
#7. With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.' - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1610695
#8. The Bible says gays arent natural.
What, and a talking snake is?! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1510298
#9. This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1488878
#10. Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1393079
#11. I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1311845
#12. If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1236913
#13. The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #1865
#14. I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at a World Cup - just pleased to be there. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #914296
#15. Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #807105
#16. When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #793308
#17. Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!' - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #521643
#18. Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!' - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #512939
#19. Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable. - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #479113
#20. So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.' - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #472213
#21. Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #408350
#22. Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life? - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #358900
#23. I've never said flange to a monkey! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #316611
#24. From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster! - Author: Russell Howard
Russell Howard Quotes #267368

Famous Authors

Popular Topics