
Top 100 Quotes About Sad Comedians
#1. I made so many B pictures I began to get fan mail from hornets...and for me that was an improvement.
Bob Hope
#2. Comedians take a neat situation and turn it into a mess. And in my books I do the same thing, but it's the other way around. I like to mess around with mess. A mess is only a mess because someone tells you it is.
Ursus Wehrli
#3. I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.
Colin Quinn
#4. It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out a way to do it on stage.
Artie Lange
#5. For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
#6. Pakistan hasn't been cast in the role of ... interesting cultural place or, you know, land of great comedians.
Mohsin Hamid
#7. I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
Chris Rock
#8. I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.
Todd Barry
#9. So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.
Tracy Morgan
#10. When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: 'That must be the hardest job in the world.' Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark.
Arthur Smith
#11. Comedians like to see people smile. With acting, I love giving people a feeling, an emotion. I like to give people a feeling. When they come away from my scene, I want them to think.
Keke Palmer
#12. Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.
Les Claypool
#13. You work with stand-up comedians or you work with somebody in theater, you work with somebody from 'Star Search' or 'Survivor' or a kid, it constantly changes how you play with people.
Steve Zahn
#14. Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She's only one of three female English-speaking comedians in India.
Hasan Minhaj
#15. A lot of people, especially comedians, just feel like, 'Oh, I can be charming and whatever, and have fun, and everybody is just going to like me.' But you've got to work. There's got to be a real work ethic that gets you better.
Terry Crews
#16. I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.
Mitch Hedberg
#17. I don't really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The guy I really like is Nick DiPaulo. I love Nick DiPaulo, but again, he's a buddy of mine. But I liked him for a long time. I liked him before he was a buddy of mine.
Larry The Cable Guy
#18. If you watch the arcs of so many comedians, at some point, they just become themselves.
Judd Apatow
#19. Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
Steve Martin
#20. I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians.
Joely Fisher
#21. Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.
Tim Conway
#22. It's annoying when people do that so-called comedians impression of me when it's stupid nonsense.
Craig David
#23. Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley dullards with barely a personality between them.
Jo Brand
#24. When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's a fact.
Jeff Ross
#25. You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.
Mike Birbiglia
#26. There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain.
John Oliver
#27. I have to make good things so good comedians want to talk to me.
Judd Apatow
#28. Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
#29. My heroes - people like Woody Allen - were stand-up comedians. Therefore, I always felt I should give it a go.
Stephen Merchant
#30. You learn to laugh at yourself and you also lean on comedy as a crutch to kind of take the edge off because comedians often are self-deprecating and they cross lines that they shouldn't. Stuff like that brings a smile to my face every once in a while when needed.
John Cena
#31. Yes," called out the sort of people who call out "yes" when comedians ask them if they're having a wonderful time.
Douglas Adams
#32. There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel.
Chris Rock
#33. A lot of people tend to glorify the role of satire and comedians. They put them up as role models, as fighters for the truth and against tyranny, and I think that's overrated.
Bassem Youssef
#34. Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
Bob Hope
#35. Comedians are people who embarrass themselves in style.
A.D. Posey
#36. If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.
Olivia Munn
#37. I think it's important for comedians to do our little part. I don't do it carelessly. I do it thoughtfully. I don't try to just shock. I try to make a statement.
Jeff Ross
#38. I'm labeled a comedic actor, which is awesome. But I love getting the occasional dramatic role, too. Some of your best dramatic actors are ultimately comedians.
Jim O'Heir
#39. Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion.
Ted Alexandro
#40. The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
Denis Norden
#41. I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.
Miranda Hart
#42. I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.
Nick Thune
#43. Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.
Kevin Hart
#44. Comedians talk to other comedians the way jazz musicians can talk to each other.
David Steinberg
#45. The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.
Demetri Martin
#46. Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.
Joan Rivers
#47. I'm no way one of those comedians who want to do drama. I really do love comedies. I hope to go back to it.
Molly Shannon
#48. Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because we're just a little bit funnier. In the same way, I think anybody can play music - in fact, I think everyone has music in them, but some of us can do it a little better.
J. D. Souther
#49. The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
#50. What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.
Buster Keaton
#51. You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.
Pauly Shore
#52. Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set Teachers Lounge up.
Ted Alexandro
#53. Comedians period, in general, have demons, and myself included.
Paul Mooney
#54. I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation.
Franklyn Ajaye
#55. I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it.
J. B. Smoove
#56. I admire Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet. I like a lot of comedians. I like Cameron Diaz - she's funny and has a very light spirit. That's quite rare nowadays. There are many actresses I admire.
Catherine Deneuve
#57. I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
#58. Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
Gilbert Gottfried
#59. To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
Don Rickles
#60. I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.
Adam Sandler
#61. 98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#62. We are all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf or skydiving. What matters is when the red light comes on.
Jerry Seinfeld to Michael Richards in Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
Jerry Seinfeld
#63. Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life.
Bob Newhart
#64. This is the funniest book I've ever held in my hands.
Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winning humorist and author says about Radical Sabbatical
Dave Barry
#65. Anyone you give a ton of money to is going to go slightly crazy. I don't think comedians are particularly special in that regard; they just are better or more vocal in their expressions of their craziness.
Nick Kroll
#66. I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is.
Gavin McInnes
#67. I found a great deal of relief and excitement watching comics when I was very young. My grandmother was very into them and so was my grandfather. They had a profound effect on me, so I just found myself watching comedians on the after-school shows: Merv Griffin and that kind of stuff.
Marc Maron
#68. Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.'
Patton Oswalt
#69. I think British humour is very cruel, and gay humour is very cruel. I think the two go hand-in-hand and that's why they mix so well in England. I think that's why you get so many gay comedians in England that are accepted so well because British humour is very cruel. I love it.
Jason Sellards
#70. And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.
Elvis Costello
#71. If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.
Eddie Izzard
#72. When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
Steven Wright
#73. Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night
Robin Williams
#74. It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
Rachel Weisz
#75. My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.
Joseph Bologna
#76. Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
#77. No small part of the club's audience consisted of would-be comics, as well as the leading comics of the day. In fact, there were so many gagsters around that it was difficult to know who was part of the act and who was just sitting in.
Kliph Nesteroff
#78. But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.
Parker Posey
#79. In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.
Paul Merton
#80. All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
Louie Anderson
#81. Most Scots might be able to identify six vegetables - but only two MSPs. There are parts of Scotland where you rarely get more than 40% turnout at the polls. There's a big disconnect there, and I think comedians bridge that gap.
Rory Bremner
#82. Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
#83. My favorite comedians are basically themselves onstage.
Andy Kindler
#84. At comedy festivals, we always get grouped with other musical comedians, so you can get to know them and see what everyone is doing. it's really fun and awesome that we're the only girls, because we can tackle issues that guys can't sing about.
Kate Micucci
#85. I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.
Nick Thune
#86. I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation.
Hannibal Buress
#87. No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
Adam Carolla
#88. Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.
Artie Lange
#89. I've seen people who are not very likeable but hilarious. I think comedians get to a point where they know they're funny, so they don't care - in the sense that they know what they're doing. They have a skill.
Ted Alexandro
#90. Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny.
Rachel Dratch
#91. I've seen comedians make people laugh by being either really dark and sad and touching, or really strange and bizarre and creepy. You can take the format and do whatever you want with it, and that seemed interesting to me.
Amy Seimetz
#92. I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.
Bob Newhart
#93. I don't think comedians take advantage of the fact that television and film are visual mediums.
Eric Andre
#94. I can get where some scientists would say comedians are crazy. What you have to understand: A lot of comedians are dealing with a dark passion. A lot of these are guys coming from a tumultuous life, including myself. Some people need outlets, a way to express yourself.
Kevin Hart
#95. In terms of comedians, I loved, growing up, Jonathan Winters, Sid Caesar, Jackie Gleason, Phil Silvers, Carol Burnett, all those people.
Ed O'Neill
#96. I just want to kind of tackle every kind of form that exists in the comedy world; whether it be stand-up or hidden camera or parody. Kind of slap it in a movie with hip-hop artists and actors, comedians and girls. I just want to do something fun.
Pauly Shore
#97. It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.
Bob Saget
#98. Manchester was a fantastic place to go out in. There were 10 clubs with world-class cabaret and comedians. You'd go in and Tom Jones might be singing, or Shirley Bassey or Engelbert Humperdinck.
Francis Lee
#99. It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians.
Robert Webb
#100. Because I'm around comedians all the time, in my downtime I tend not to watch comedy. Something the whole family enjoys is 'You've Been Framed!' It satisfies all of us. It's universal, and we all laugh a lot.
Nina Conti
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