Quotes About Jerks

#1. We are not advertising ourselves as a secure platform. It's a communication platform. It's not our job to police the world or Snapchat of jerks.

Evan Spiegel

#2. When you said hold the ice ... "
"I thought you were near death over there," I answer, breathless. "That doesn't feel fatal."
"I was, but you are one hot chick when you pound on the right bag." He jerks me back against him hard and I yelp. Not in pain. No, definitely not pain.

K.A. Tucker

#3. Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break!

Tim Dorsey

#4. Why are all the truly orthodox Christians
the doctrinally minded, theologically sound ones
complete jerks? Why are nice, loving Christians typically wishy-washier than Charlie Brown?

Alexis Neal

#5. It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.

Charlie Chaplin

#6. Nick can do a pretty good nice, but it's not the real deal. His is a thin, watery nice, a niceness-au-jus drizzled over a great big asshole sandwich.

Melissa DeCarlo

#7. We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.

Brendon Urie

#8. In the only love story he ever attempted, "Kiss Me Again," he had written, "There is no way a beautiful woman can live up to what she looks like for any appreciable length of time." The moral at the end of that story is this: "Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

Kurt Vonnegut

#9. Damnation, Kam." Kiaran jerks me back up when I start to fall forward. I'm not sure I can walk. "You're bleeding all over the place."

My voice comes out in a croak. "I'm not happy about it either.

Elizabeth May

#10. It is my sincere desire that my research and hard work will help create a world where we all learn to walk this Earth, safe, enlightened and free from the perils of cruelty, ignorance, and all the other dark and sinister forces, which make assholes possible.

Alexei Maxim Russell

#11. Don't try fixing something that is already broken in the first place.

John Robert Go

#12. Even the toughest of brothers can't make their sister change the things they think they are entitled to. They can't move you away from the jerks. They can simply hold their breath and their baseball bat.

Alida Nugent

#13. Enough, both of you,' Clary said. 'You can't be complete jerks to each other forever, you know.'
Technically,' said Simon, 'I can.'
Jace made an inelegant noise; after a moment Clary realized that he was trying not to laugh, and only semi-succeeding.

Cassandra Clare

#14. I have never been able to use that soap since. Scents are too evocative and the merest whiff jerks me back to that first night away from my wife, and to the feeling I had then.

James Herriot

#15. I will never grow thick skin so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

Dan Pearce

#16. I'm usually a big fan of sexual tension, but this is like an X-rated kindergarten class, with two little jerks crushing on each other, both too stupid to admit it out loud.

Gena Showalter

#17. I do what I do for the people who believe in me, not for the jerks who don't.

Terry Fox

#18. Perhaps I'm a bit of a sadist myself, in addition to a masochist. He winces and jerks on the restraints. "Fucking hell," he mutters.

Ella Dominguez

#19. If the Police could do a reunion ... One of the biggest jerks I ever met was Sting. If he can do it, then anyone can do it. It's not that big a deal. And the Eagles! They did it! They severely hated each other. It's just rock and roll.

Steven Adler

#20. I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

Bill Watterson

#21. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks.

Jean Rhys

#22. I don't like characters that are left being jerks at the end of the movie.

Jeremy London

#23. Stay away from people who don't know who they are but want you to be just like them. People who'll want to label you. People who'll try to write their fears on your face.

Richard Peck

#24. Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

Bill Hicks

#25. Small jerks began to appear in my legs, my walk became unsteady precisely because I wanted it to be smooth.

Knut Hamsun

#26. It's okay to like jerks. I mean, it'd be better to like a nice guy, but there aren't any.

Daniel Handler

#27. This body of ours, this disguise put on by common jumping molecules, is in constant revolt against the abominable farce of having to endure. Our molecules, the dears, want to get lost in the universe as fast as they can! It makes them miserable to be nothing but "us," the jerks of infinity.

Louis-Ferdinand Celine

#28. My biggest problem in live games is that I love the game so much and I don't think I ever met a poker player I didn't fundamentally like - even if they're screaming and they're acting like real jerks.

James Woods

#29. Raven jerks and stiffens. For a second, I think she is only surprised: Her mouth goes round, her eyes
wide.
Then she begins teetering backward, and I know that she is dead. Falling, falling, falling ...

Lauren Oliver

#30. All guys are jerks but they get hotter with age and we learn to be more tolerant.

Kristen Bell

#31. Men are jerks. If I were a woman I'd be a lesbian. You get to make love to other women and have little to do with asshole men. Lesbians are better lovers, too, because they know where everything is.

Lionel Fisher

#32. I've always wanted to play a soldier and I'd never taken on a character where I'm the happy-go-lucky protagonist. I've played a lot of jerks recently.

Jesse McCartney

#33. True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

John Waters

#34. That's the problem with having a moral code. We want to destroy the jerkish part of the jerks, but we want to save the human being underneath.

David Levithan

#35. I gave her a smile that I hoped conveyed something like: Hey, you know I'm on your side. Gods are such jerks! But what can you do?
Probably my expression actually conveyed: It's not my fault! Please do not kill me!

Rick Riordan

#36. I've had a disproportionate share of interaction with jerks.

Mona Sutphen

#37. It's time for students to learn that Life is Triggering. Once they leave college, they'll be constantly exposed to views that challenge or offend them. There are a lot of jerks out there, and no matter what your politics are, a lot of people will have the opposite view.

Jerry A. Coyne

#38. Advanced life-forms, my seweet patootie. Jerks. Both of them.

James Patterson

#39. HMPH. Why are all the hot guys either jerks or part of a sinster plot to murder your friends?

James Asmus

#40. In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance ... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself.

Marjane Satrapi

#41. Women who say that they have met the most amazing guy in the world are only saying that because they haven't lived with them yet.

Heather Chapple

#42. [On The Catcher in the Rye] "This Salinger, he's a short story guy. And he knows how to write about kids. This book though, it's too long. Gets kind of monotonous. And he should've cut out a lot about these jerks and all that crumby school. They depress me. - James Stern

The New York Times

#43. Jerks," I muttered. Then I brightened. "Oh, hey. Doughnuts.

Richelle Mead

#44. Sean settles swiftly behind me, and I'm startled by the sudden closeness of him, my back suddenly warm against his chest, the press of his hips on against me. i turn to ask him a question, and he jerks his face away from the proximity of mine. I say, Oh. Sorry.

Maggie Stiefvater

#45. This particular strand of feminism is characterized by two tenets: 1. men are jerks, and 2. women should strive by all means to become like them.

Douglas Wilson

#46. Athletes are American princes and the locker room is their castle. Some of them behave in princely fashion, become legitimate heroes to us all. And some are jerks.

Anna Quindlen

#47. It really wasn't fair. Why did guys have to be such jerks?

Ellen Emerson White

#48. A Poem does not grow by jerks. As trees in Spring produce a new ring of tissue, so does every poet put forth a fresh outlay of stuff at the same season.

Wilfred Owen

#49. I know every guy here, and they're all pretty much jerks.

Nicki Elson

#50. I was surrounded by jerks. I'm not kidding.

J.D. Salinger

#51. Do not tolerate brilliant jerks. The cost to teamwork is too high.

Reed Hastings

#52. Even the jerks earn some of our affection. We can be glad they're gone and yet still mourn the good parts.

Shannon Hale

#53. Yes. Do you know people who are really nice, but when they get together with somebody in particular, they become obnoxious jerks?

Sheldon Siegel

#54. I am always the 'good guy', and I take on the idiotic jerks of the nation.

Wally George

#55. In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.

Chris Patten

#56. God gave you a brain. Do the best you can with it. And you don't have to be Einstein, but Einstein was mentally tough. He believed what he believed. And he worked out things. And he argued with people who disagreed with him. But I'm sure he didn't call everybody jerks.

Clint Eastwood

#57. Don't Expect What Goes Around to Come Around. Total jerks and evil people often get all the good breaks. Being nice guarantees nothing. Good things happen to bad people. Sometimes, things just don't "balance out" or "work out for the best.

Paul Pearsall

#58. Warren Cox, God knew, was no prize; a commercial person, a sales person, the kind of man who said things like "x numbers of dollars". At lunch today, laboriously trying to explain some business procedure, he had said "x number of dollars" three times.

Richard Yates

#59. There are two things I know about life ... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.

Lewis Black

#60. Pick the jerks to date

James Patterson

#61. I've learned through experience of playing different characters, some of whom were jerks, that when you play a character who is pretentious or obnoxious, in any way, it's important to knock them down a peg.

Jonah Hill

#62. When the cow jerks away, it'll yank the door open."
"But what's going to make the cow jerk away?" asked Little Richard.
"You're going to milk it," said Slank.
"But I don't know how to milk a cow!" said Little Richard.
"Exactly.

Dave Barry

#63. Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars.

Warren Buffett

#64. To keep it simple you run your gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good running order. No jerks allowed, members pay on time and if they give you any crap, throw them out. There's peace where there's order.

Joe Gold

#65. The trick is simply to avoid jerks. There are lots of them out there. Most people are unhappy.

Frederick Lenz

#66. You have one big mythology in your favor: Everyone believes that you Europeans are impeccable. But I know you are jerks.

Fernando Flores

#67. You say it like everyone is against the idea just to be jerks. But Mrs. Casnoff, your parents, me ... can you blame any of us for not wanting you to die?

Rachel Hawkins

#68. The daughters of God don't brake for jerks.

Marianne Williamson

#69. Why did all the hot guys have to be such jerks, and why did I still want to sleep with them?

Tara West

#70. There are always going to be jerks in the world, Auggie," she said, looking at me. "But I really believe, and Daddy really believes, that there are more good people on this earth than bad people, and the good people watch out for each other and take care of each other. Just

R.J. Palacio

#71. I've always been attracted to jerks. They range from sassy weirdos who are ultimately pretty good guys to sociopathic sex addicts, but the common denominator is a bad attitude upon first meeting and a desire to teach me a lesson.

Lena Dunham

#72. I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

Kelly LeBrock

#73. Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?

Homer Simpson

#74. Girls can be so petty and jealous. I swear they're worse than guys sometimes. Except they're all quiet about it. They sugarcoat it or else they talk behind each other's backs. It's seriously twisted.

Melody Carlson

#75. As if on a conveyer belt, there will be a never ending supply of idiots and jerks that come and go in your life. Whether you stop the belt to dance with any one of them is up to you.

Dan Pearce

#76. My liberal friends are such a bunch soft-headed, politically correct jerks ...

Jack Germond

#77. It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks!

Homer

#78. You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.

Raymond Chandler

#79. There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

Anthony Liccione

#80. There were smiles, chin jerks, head nods, handshakes and so much hot guy hormone floating in the air around them it was a wonder every female in a two block radius didn't instantly become pregnant.

Kristen Ashley

#81. Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

Josh Lieb

#82. How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don't give your chain to jerks!

Bill Crawford

#83. Kyle, open up. What kind of weirdo locks his bedroom door anyway?"
"The kind that has jerks staying over who steal girlfriends."
I pressed my fingers into my eyes and took a deep breath as the pain in back and legs got a little worse. "She wasn't your girlfriend."
"Irrelevant!" he yelled.

Shelly Crane

#84. Can I tell you what I want? I want to stop wanting things I can't have. I want to stop falling for jerks I don't need. And I want to stop feeling like an f/ing gooey butter cake somebody left out in the rain.

Kate Klise

#85. So you were talking crap about me? Hm. I missed it. I was too busy being fabulous.

Dan Pearce

#86. [He] is the worst kind of asshole they make - the kind who is completely oblivious to how he sounds, the kind who is impossible to argue with because he doesn't allow for a worldview outside of his own.

Sloane Crosley

#87. There are those who seem to feel they have no choice about being jerks in the present because they had a crappy childhood. Well, that's the definition of childhood; nobody gets out alive. You either get stronger from what you experience, or you turn it into a crutch, an excuse, a dodge.

J. Michael Straczynski

#88. Don, we're huge fans," I said.
"Don, we're huge fans," he shot back in a high-pitched voice meant to mock me.
What a jerk, I thought, but I didn't care, because he was Don Berman, and that's what Don Berman did.

Natalie Standiford

#89. Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

Homer

#90. One negative voice aimed at me has the incredible power to drown out a thousand positive ones. One of the greatest things I can achieve is to never let it.

Dan Pearce

#91. If women ran Hollywood, 'The Hollywood Reporter' would have a 'Men in Entertainment' issue every year, and those jerks would have to write something.

Elizabeth Meriwether

#92. I am just like all the jerks and idiots you know. I am just a guy that watches sports all day.

Brian McKnight

#93. If a man tells you he's an asshole & that you deserve better, believe him...it's a warning. It's best you listen before he proves it to you.

April Mae Monterrosa

#94. Be a kind person. Yes, even to jerks. Let them be a jerk. You be a kind person.

Karen Salmansohn

#95. I believe all people are assholes. You won't find anyone that you like. You'll just find someone you dislike a little less than the last asshole. And I can't wait for that day. To have a woman that I can say I dislike a little less than all the other assholes.

Travis J. Dahnke

#96. For some unknown reason, bad-boys draw you in despite the fact that they are jerks.

Alexis Bledel

#97. I've been really lucky that I've been exposed to a lot of lovely, talented people who are not jerks, and I would like to continue that streak.

Mackenzie Davis

#98. You and Dad are really the wrecking ball of all of our teenage runaway fantasies. Why couldn't you jerks go and be crack addicts or religious fanatics so we could have excuses to live on the wide open road? - email from Lily

Candace Allan

#99. The easiest way to disarm a bully or a jerk is to take any insult he throws at you and follow it with, 'I know, and isn't it fabulous?!

Dan Pearce

#100. Yeah, well, we're all jerks at one time or another. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Sarah Felix Burns