Top 100 Quotes About Hilarious
#1. Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I really hope the internet sticks around so people can reference this article in my obituaries and see that what sounds like a joke was actually amazingly prescient.
Jason Sudeikis
#2. I've seen people who are not very likeable but hilarious. I think comedians get to a point where they know they're funny, so they don't care - in the sense that they know what they're doing. They have a skill.
Ted Alexandro
#3. I think god gave us talent because he screwed up our hair
Dolly Parton
#4. It's often hilarious to me that I'm writing about Tonga or some tropical place and there's a blizzard outside and the cows are on their backs with their hooves in the air.
Tim Cahill
#5. But you have so much in common. You're both from strange little backwater planets. You both have odd powers. You're male and she's female. What more do you need? Believe me, buddy, if I were you, I'd go right up there and ask her if she wants to ride on my rancor.
Dave Wolverton
#6. I don't lack for bed partners, so I don't need to scrounge for unwilling scraps.-Spade
Jeaniene Frost
#7. There are only so many hilarious actors so when they cross-pollinate, people assume it's always the same actors and directors.
Judd Apatow
#8. My dearest Pudding pie" I read aloud.
"Yes, my little turnip?"
"Hilarious," I muttered. "If you ever call me anything of the sort again we shall have words.
Jordan L. Hawk
#9. - Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!
Bryanna Reid
#11. I was a huge fan of 'Arrested Development,' and there's just something it tickles in me and it's bright and it's hilarious.
Keri Russell
#12. Sometimes things need shaking up. You've got to test the limits.
Lindsey Kelk
#13. The world disappoints us all, and the ways we change our own stories to survive that disappointment are beautiful and tragic and hilarious.
Daniel Abraham
#14. Travel Etiquette: When dealing with foreigners, pretend you are Canadian.
Chelsea Handler
#15. ( ... ) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.
Keary Taylor
#16. Oh, my God!" Ignatius bellowed from the front of the house. "What an egregious insult to good taste.
John Kennedy Toole
#17. Michael, don't," Eve said. "He won't hurt us." Andeveryone rolled their eyes at that. Even Jason, which was borderline hilarious.
Rachel Caine
#18. Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE
CM Punk
#19. Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
Carroll Bryant
#20. It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.
Bill Watterson
#21. The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand
#22. I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.
Rainbow Rowell
#23. I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.
Chris Kattan
#24. Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just ... wrong. On so many levels.
Emma Chase
#25. Guston tacked toward celebrating the crap of life not for its own ironic sake, but as the ever-present still life that surrounds the embarrassingly, even tragically human. No Duchampian object is ever tragic. Many if not most of Guston's objects, even the most hilarious, are.
Ross Feld
#26. Like a lot of people, I've always enjoyed commenting on strangers' outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people's hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.
Demetri Martin
#27. I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.
Chris Bauer
#28. Young love is so ridiculous, as is middle-aged and old love. And it's also hilarious. When have you ever felt so vulnerable and wonderful and terrible at the same time?
Grace Helbig
#29. Let's pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.
C.S. Lewis
#30. Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.
David Wong
#31. Kids are flat-out freaking hilarious if you are paying attention. Not just my kid, but every kid.
Dan Alatorre
#32. It's hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he's like, 'You speak so well!' I'm like, 'What do you mean? Do you understand that's an insult?
Jay-Z
#33. You will find this hard to believe, but I've never laughed as much as I did when I was a corporate lawyer. When you're working 16 hours a day for months at a time, you get punchy. Everything and everyone seems hilarious.
Susan Cain
#34. That was what made them so hilarious and unafraid. That was the strength of the Nazis. [ ... ] They understood God better than anyone. They knew how to make Him stay away.
Kurt Vonnegut
#35. I'd sooner go through with a pregnancy than spend a night alone in my house knowing there was a snake in the yard.
Chelsea Handler
#36. Michael Buble is seriously my favorite entertainer. Have you ever seen the guy in concert? He's hilarious. Women love him. Guys want to meet him. He has everything that I wish I could do onstage. And I'm guessin' he's a good-lookin' guy - although he's not one of 'People' magazine's sexiest men.
Blake Shelton
#37. A vibrator can last all night, too, vampire! - Denise
Jeaniene Frost
#38. In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh ... ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]
Rick Riordan
#39. Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.
Cassandra Clare
#40. This Syrian circus/crisis we are going through is hilarious ... It's like watching some thug killing another person and asking him for his bullets but releasing him free.
Ziad K. Abdelnour
#41. I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.
Dave Matthes
#42. I totally consider Fishbowl my full time job - I have to say I freaking love doing this blog. I just enjoy the medium so much; I love the fact that it requires me to read amazing stuff by hilarious and talented people and forces me to know what's going on in the world.
Rachel Sklar
#43. There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.
Amy Poehler
#44. Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.
Ransom Riggs
#45. Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.
Arthur Smith
#46. Like something happened to Preppy. That wasn't your fault, dick slick. It was mine. I literally couldn't dodge that bullet. See what I did there? Oh my shit I'm hilarious.
T.M. Frazier
#47. If you walk into my wardrobe, it's kind of hilarious. It's a sea of black.
Tabatha Coffey
#48. This is hilarious. First, people say how so many actresses in Hollywood look anorexic, and now they are criticizing me for looking normal. Body images are too often adopted by young girls and women - thanks to what they are constantly being shown as being attractive.
Jennifer Lawrence
#49. Son of a motherfucking, ass-reaming, shit-eating, hell-dodging soulless bitch!
Rachel Vincent
#50. There is great nobility in ordinary people. The world disappoints us all, and the ways we change our own stories to survive that disappointment are beautiful and tragic and hilarious. On balance, I find much more to admire about humanity than to despise.
Daniel Abraham
#51. He even dressed up for you. He only has one stain on his t-shirt.- Rylie Cruz
Rose Pressey
#52. I think I kind of like the idea of you all cold and wet."
"Oh right, I'll be at my best; no visible balls, and a dick that looks like a Chiclet ... "
"I can fix that," laughed Connor.
Z.A. Maxfield
#53. You're so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn't work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#54. Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
#55. So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?"
"Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the owner will try to get it back.
Janet Evanovich
#56. We are saved gratis, by grace. We do nothing and we deserve nothing; it is all, absolutely and without qualification, one huge, hilarious gift.
Robert Farrar Capon
#57. It was just hilarious how my first reaction was, "Oh, no, it's another vampire show. I'm not interested." And then, I read the script and thought it was brilliant.
Oliver Jackson-Cohen
#58. Those jeans are comfortable, and for those of you who want your president to look great in his tight jeans, I'm sorry I'm not the guy. It just doesn't fit me. I'm not 20.
Barack Obama
#61. Listen you..you.."he sputtered.
"You what ? You've already used hellion,draft girl and missy' .i can think of several more degradation,but then again im not the one trying so hard to be intimidating."
"How about you,maddending,foolish,moronic little chit ?"
"Much better !" she applauded.
Kate Noble
#62. You own your own island?
Doesn't every Greek tycoon?
Lynne Graham
#63. We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious.
Josh Holloway
#64. They're not going to arrest you,' Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. 'They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won't arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There's a good chance they will. But the important thing is that I've done nothing wrong.'
'For once.
Derek Landy
#65. Smart, truly hilarious, and entirely sympathetic. Like a hot bubble bath or a holiday at the beach, you won't want it to end.
Cecily Von Ziegesar
#66. Nicolas Morganti had stalked back into her life, stamped his foot, and demanded to stay.
Michele De Winton
#67. My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.
Bill Burr
#68. Karma can be an ill-timed mistress who always calls when your Mother-in-law is the first to answer the phone ... . and it would be a completely sad story had it not been so surreally hilarious.
Josh Stern
#69. I know my life is full of awkward pauses, and I think it's hilarious.
Josh Hutcherson
#70. An artist who painted a face was now 'playing with the idea of portraiture,' or 'exploring push-pull aesthetics,' or toying with contradictions like 'menacing-slash-playful,' but he or she was never, ever, just painting a face.
Steve Martin
#71. The heroines in 'That's What She Said' are flawed, messy, damaged, hilarious and culpable and not really concerned about being acceptable to the audience in any traditional sense, which for me is what makes them all the more gorgeous. And the fearless truth of that is what makes it funny.
Carrie Preston
#72. I don't know what to do about him, Sammy." (Jackie)
"It's not what you do about him. It's what you do with him. Grab him by those big, manly arms that I'm assuming he has, and show him what New York has to offer.
Ali Novak
#73. When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
Sarah Silverman
#74. But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they're not so funny anymore.
Jonathan Dunne
#75. I had a fair idea how it felt to get spanked with a large flat surface, and my rump clenched in sympathy.
Rick Riordan
#76. 'Chappie' would be like 'RoboCop,' but hilarious. If you mixed 'Robocop' with 'E.T.' and it was ... funny, that's what it is.
Neill Blomkamp
#77. When she and Wren divided up their clothes, Wren had taken anything that said "party at a boy's place" or "leaving the house." Cath had taken everything that said "up all night writing" or "it's okay to spill tea on this."" (pg. 189)
Rainbow Rowell
#78. What could be a more Canadian way to indulge in the national preoccupation with perceptions - honest, hilarious, huffy or high-minded - of this country and its inhabitants?
Norman Angell
#79. I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.
Lady Gaga
#81. Serena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks.
A.P.
#82. Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach Galifianakis
#83. She's like a cross between an onion and donkey," Farah said.
"Why?" Jason and Connor asked simultaneously.
"Cause she's a piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye." Farah laughed.
Mark A. Cooper
#84. I really unfortunately don't have tons of hilarious Sundance stories, because really I am not the biggest fan of hanging out, but the reason why is because I never go see other people's movies and I think that's the way to do it.
Lizzy Caplan
#85. I find it hilarious that whenever I light up, Americans look at me like I'm going to urinate on their children.
Michelle Hodkin
#86. I placed my hand on his chest. "You don't need to worry about Reece."
"I know, I know. He's nothing compared to my magnificence." His fingers stroked mine and his eyes softened. "But just out of curiosity, how do you feel about getting my name tattooed on your forehead?
Kylie Scott
#87. Wise Child: Why don't you beat me then?
Juniper: I can't be bothered.
Monica Furlong
#88. Surfing is kind of a good metaphor for the rest of life.
The extremely good stuff - chocolate and great sex and weddings and hilarious jokes - fills a minute portion of an adult lifespan.
The rest of life is the paddling: work, paying bills, flossing, getting sick, dying.
Jaimal Yogis
#89. I realized that no one needed to make fun of liberalism. It was hilarious on its own.
Greg Gutfeld
#90. Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded.
Sol Luckman
#91. Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.
Derek Landy
#92. Psychiatry is a pseudoscience ... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do ... Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.
Tom Cruise
#93. There are so many great comedies, right now. I like how comedies are really mixing. They're not just one thing. It can be very moving and dramatic, and yet hilarious.
Sarah Silverman
#94. Sometimes we have to try on a few different personalities before we found ourselves.
Lindsey Kelk
#95. -You have what they call the complete package, Adders.
-What do you know about my package?
-No that package, you idiot! You are the complete package! I wasn't talking about what's in your trousers!
Lisa J. Hobman
#96. Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph - when they speak, everyone listens. Because they're freaking hilarious.
Casey Wilson
#97. My guiltiest pleasure in life is 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' I watch them all - old, new - I don't care. Despite how bad the writing is on the show. The people getting hit and hurt, that's hilarious.
Russell Peters
#98. Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks ...
Chelsea Handler
#99. How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well as a few mythological animals that I swear I'd seen. Then I'd lived on the sun with aliens.
Cora Carmack
#100. Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.
Demetri Martin
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