Top 100 Quotes About Bad Humor
#1. There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad.
Joseph Joubert
#2. What's with savage humans always wanting to cannibalize us?" Jaden asks as she runs past Summer to check for any more of the Tainted around the corner.
"They want to suck your blood," Rob says in a Romanian accent.
Jaden snorts. Too bad humor won't help them out of this mess.
Laura Kreitzer
#3. My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.
Bowden Wyatt
#4. Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.
Malcolm Muggeridge
#5. Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.
Matt Groening
#6. Lydia shook her head. "This is my life. Getting yelled at in a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night by somebody doing a bad impression of PG-13 fart-joke-movie comedian.
Jeff Zentner
#7. How bad do you want cancer? Bad enough to eat a rainbow of it? Personally, I think the red cancer would be the worst, but anything you swallow with artificial hues in it is going to pop a tumor out of your body the day after you eat it.
Laurie Notaro
#8. Your bad past is for you to learn don't pass it to others.
FB
#9. I want to be the best race horse around when I grow up, Mama.
You can be, Charlie, as long as you are willing to try your best and not give up when you have a bad day.
Deanie Humphrys-Dunne
#10. Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma Bombeck
#11. He knew for a fact that he was so hopelessly bad at seeing through camouflage that, if left alone in the forest, he might even attempt to make fire by rubbing two snakes together.
Sorin Suciu
#12. They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!
Neil Leckman
#13. Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed.
Stephen King
#14. The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.
Kristen Schaal
#15. I'm good for some things, bad for a lot of things.
Jackie Chan
#16. I'm not that bad," he said. "I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big -
J.M. Darhower
#17. I like to play dirty. I can also be very, very exacting." Rate St. Sebastian.
Samanthe Beck
#18. Slaying dragons, melting witches, and banishing demons is all fun and games until someone loses a sidekick - then it's personal. The bad guy isn't just the "bad guy" anymore, he's the BAD GUY!
Michael J. Sullivan
#19. Got here half an hour ago and had a look, eyeballin' it," Sawyer said. "It's murder, all right. Tell you something else - the sun went down, and it's as dark as the inside of a horses's ass out here."
"You're sure?"
"Well, I've never actually been inside a horses's ass.
John Sandford
#21. There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
George Carlin
#22. Like most bad ideas, it started with alcohol.
Cy Wyss
#23. Zane sighed. "I was so hoping this would be a normal vacation."
Ty smacked him on the side of the head. "Don't use bad words.
Abigail Roux
#24. Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
Leo Rosten
#26. I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P.G. Wodehouse
#27. Gaby wasn't having much luck with cats lately. The stray from yesterday had left her with red welts and a bad dream, and Lemon had just tried to eat her hair.
Angela Cervantes
#28. America is bad at discriminating between danger likely to strike again, and red herrings, the freaking helpings of disaster that no man or plan can prevent.
Bill Maher
#29. In fact the bare adjective "bad" hardly scratches the surface of the man's awesome incapacity.
John Biggins
#30. Nobody can be bad at everything. There's no such thing as a perfect screwup.
Jim Butcher
#31. Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.
Douglas Adams
#32. Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff."
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?
Rick Riordan
#33. Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
Terry Pratchett
#34. I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
Bob Monkhouse
#35. Yeah, my bad," Leo muttered. "I should've crashed on one of the other islands. Oh, wait-there aren't any!"
She [Calypso] snarled and kept walking along the edge of the water.
Rick Riordan
#36. I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.
Margaret Atwood
#37. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn't only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you're burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it's only a symbol. It's only a piece of cloth.
George Carlin
#38. The Road to Hell is Paved With Bad Intentions
Vicky Loebel
#39. Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married. How is that our fault? Don't drag down my country's statistics just because you ran off and got hitched before you ever saw each other in a bad mood.
Stephen Colbert
#40. Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups.
Tina Fey
#41. It is important to correct bad behavior one toe at a time.
Gasmaskman
#42. I'd like to do a reality show with four white people ... who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called ... Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
#43. Her eyes winded. "I'm becoming addicted to you?."
He raised an eyebrow. "You say it like it's a bad thing.
Michelle Rowen
#45. Once past the comfort zone in either direction, humans soon lost the ability to discriminate bad from worse.
Roger Zelazny
#46. There are some bad people on the rise;
they're saving their own skins by ruining people's lives.
Morrissey
#47. Santa Claus is a lie but if you think that's bad, check out what 'fuck' really means.
Andrew Smith
#49. I can't forget things, or ignore them-bad things that happen," I said. "I'm a lay-it-all-out person, a dwell-on-it person, an obsess-about-it person. If I hold things in and try to forget or pretend, I become a madman and have panic attacks. I have to talk.
E. Lockhart
#50. I had an awful time quitting jobs. It was so irresponsible, and being inherently irresponsible, I knew I had to be vigilant. So instead I would make them fire me. I have had girlfriends who employ this strategy in relationships, which is bad, but in regards to employment it is ok.
Michelle Tea
#51. In other words, he looked like uniformed police hotness, and she wasn't entirely uninterested in being cuffed. Wait. That's a bad thought. I don't mean it. She took him in again, her throat suddenly dry. Well, she didn't exactly not mean it, but she knew better than to want it.
Cindi Madsen
#52. As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways."
"My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with."
"It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it."
"I'll learn to control my hair?
Cynthia Hand
#53. I'm not saying she was all bad, just on days ending with Y.
Missouri Dalton
#54. Well, good news, " Blitzen said. "I found the bag. Bad news...I found the bag.
Rick Riordan
#55. You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes.
"You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly.
"Not where I'm aiming, sir.
Terry Pratchett
#56. You know, every bad guy was once good until he crossed a line. I don't think they come out of the womb being assholes.
Laurann Dohner
#57. You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!
Bryan Lee O'Malley
#58. The truth is a thing I get id of as soon as possible! Bad habit, by the way. Makes one very unpopular at the club... with the older members. They call it being conceited. Perhaps it is.
Oscar Wilde
#59. You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
Bill Engvall
#60. It's so hard being goth. You have to have a bad time everywhere.
Clint Catalyst
#61. Are you sure that's Val?"
"No," said Freddie. "It's Lassie in a wolf suit.
Debra Doyle
#62. Take it easy, Norman. When the psychiatrist goes crazy, it's a bad sign.
Michael Crichton
#63. Well, let's see. Guardians spend all their time watching out for
others, risking their lives, and wearing bad shoes. Me? I have great
shoes, am currently massaging a pretty girl, and sleep in an awesome
bed."
I made a face. "Let's not talk about where you sleep, okay?
Richelle Mead
#64. It would be a really bad idea to let this person loose."
"How bad of an idea?"
"Kicking-Hitler-out-of-art-school bad.
Rin Chupeco
#65. Sounds like your life just let out a bunch of bad farts.
Helen Landalf
#66. Prepare yourself for some bad news: Ronald Reagan's library just burned down. Both books were destroyed. But the real horror: He hadn't finished coloring either one of them.
Gore Vidal
#67. Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
Steve Allen
#68. Any civilization where the main symbol of religious veneration is a tool of execution is a bad place to have children.
Charles Stross
#69. Well, isn't this just perfect," Kyle commented. "We need to go rough up a big bad wolf, and half the pack is already leaving.
Jody Morse
#70. What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.
American novels, answered Lord Henry.
Oscar Wilde
#71. I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.
Rodney Dangerfield
#72. I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.
Rick Riordan
#73. He was tall and scrawny with a face that could be mistaken with Keith Richards on a bad day.
Kelley Armstrong
#74. So are you happy? he asks.
I hate it when anyone asks me that. It's such a loaded fucking question. Are they talking aggregate years? Doesn't it depend on the day, the moment? Or are they referring to last year or last month?
Terry McMillan
#75. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Dave Barry
#76. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
John Kenneth Galbraith
#77. The guy thought he was Mick Jagger. I felt bad for him.
Kami Garcia
#78. I was covered in gore, dripping in slime, and in a very bad mood.
Lavie Tidhar
#79. Finally, Jace suspects it's a bad sign that he is referring to himself in the third person.
Swati Avasthi
#80. 'I wish someone had told you that you're a terrible liar so I wouldn't have to be the first one. I feel bad now.'
T.J. Klune
#81. That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Bill Watterson
#82. Bad improvisers block action, often with a high degree of skill. Good improvisers develop action.(p.115)
Malcolm Gladwell
#83. I was wrong last night. Kyler isn't just trouble. He's an apocalypse-level disaster waiting to happen. I need to find some fallout shelter to hide in. And quick.
Siobhan Davis
#84. Some women simply find bad boys hot, attractive, and very bad ones enthralling and mesmerizing
Anno Nomius
#85. You know," Rolf said, "you read stories when you're little, and you think it would be so amazing to have adventures happen to you. Then you actually go on one, and find out that it's awful. Nothing but bad food, sleeping cold on the hard ground, and treachery.
Jessica Day George
#86. It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
Scott Adams
#87. There's no such thing as a bad dog, just a bad owner.
John Grogan
#88. An artist who maintains that he has been misunderstood is almost always a bad artist who, I'm afraid to say, has been understood.
Jo Nesbo
#89. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.
David Chase
#90. You and I both know that love is for children,' he said. 'We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.'
'Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,' Teresa replied. 'Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit.
Maggie Stiefvater
#91. I pull out a zippered CD case, but unfortunately, it's slim pickens inside, and I say this not only because the choices are bad, which they are, but because there actually is a Slim Pickens CD inside.
Melissa DeCarlo
#92. Percy?" Annabeth gripped his arm.
"Oh, bad," he muttered. "Bad. Bad." He looked across the table at Frank and Hazel. "You guys remember Polybotes?"
"The giant who invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel said. "The anti-Poseidon you whacked in the head with a Terminus statue. Yes, I think I remember
Rick Riordan
#93. It sucked so bad she might as well put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. Except she didn't own a gun because she didn't like them. Besides, pulling the trigger on a gun was pretty final. She had issues with commitment and she was so freaking dead anyway, so why bother.
Thea Harrison
#94. How do you deal with it?" Kami asked Jared. "The laughing at nothing and occasionally stopping dead in your tracks."
"I have a system where when I stop, I lean casually against something," Jared told her. "It makes people think I'm a bad boy. Or possibly that I have a bad back.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#95. He sat on a kitchen chair and lifted her onto his lap so her legs straddled his, and then he slipped his hands under her skirt and cupped her backside to drag her closer. Oh f**k. Good news and bad news.
The good news was no underwear.
The bad news was no underwear.
Barbara Elsborg
#96. Maybe I'm too jumpy, too untrusting. The thing is, once something bad happens, there's no way to undo it. There's no erase button on life. I can't just click the delete key and start over.
H.M. Ward
#98. Any selfish person can light up a room. But a truly selfless person leaves the room (without saying goodbye to anyone) right before they get in a bad mood. See the distinction?
Jay Clark
#99. Zee said, grumpily, "Liebling, this is not a good idea."
"Zee," I told him, "I am completely out of good ideas and am doing my best with the bad ones I have left.
Patricia Briggs
#100. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Karl French
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
