Top 100 Quotes About Ass
#1. I have led you down a road of deception just to correct you and make you look like an uneducated ass
Ashley Newell
#2. But that's the thing about dead people: they can't warn you to keep your nose out of things that are going to put your ass in danger.
LynDee Walker
#3. If an ass goes travelling he will not come home a horse.
Thomas Fuller
#4. You can't bring tweezers on an airplane. If I'm on a plane and you try to hijack it with tweezers, I'll whip your ass, man. You think I'm going to be late because you've got tweezers and a bad attitude?
Alonzo Bodden
#5. McCartney! Haven't met him and haven't played with him. I would LOVE to. He needs to make a kick-ass rockabilly record.
Brian Setzer
#6. I would just like to throw out there that we can all stop talking about putting things up my ass. No fly zone. Do not enter. No parking.
Dani Alexander
#8. Life can get fucked up fast when you try to be a pleaser. Because people won't ever be pleased, not even if you drop them ass-first into paradise. They like bitching too much.
Charles Frazier
#9. You always remember the words that come back to bite you in the ass, no matter how much you'd like to forget them.
Rob Thurman
#10. Always wanted a girl with a heart-shaped ass. Most of my exes have ass-shaped hearts.
Quentin R. Bufogle
#11. I've never, ever, ever
in my entire life
fought over a man.
I've fought women who've hit me because of a man, but then I was fighting to bust her ass, not defend his.
Karen E. Quinones Miller
#12. I had to pass a few more tests, and that house is shored up tighter than a straight boy's ass at a gay bar.
Keri Arthur
#13. Call me a sucker for a man who had a great ass who knows how to bake a macaroni casserole and can tolerate six hours of Sesame Street a day.
Seanan McGuire
#14. It's my job to kick your ass and tell you not to fall into the sink-hole of sloth and apathy
Nicole Williams
#15. No true reform has ever come to pass Unchallenged by a liar and an ass.
Arthur Guiterman
#16. There isn't any poison oak in the winter. It's hard to convince a girl you're sexy when you can't stop scratching your ass because of the rash. -Jax Cullen
Jill Shalvis
#17. She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn't that spectacular.
Lish McBride
#18. Weston chuckled, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wonder who's really in charge of this heap." "You are." Steph grinned. "And none of the rest of us want to take your place if you get your dumb ass killed, so bear with us, all right?
Evan Currie
#19. You have what I call a "male brow." Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold him 'til he can't breathe.
J.R. Ward
#20. So what do we need to do? (Kat)
One: Don't die. Two: Don't get bitten. (Sin)
And? (Kat)
Kick their ass. (Sin)
Good plan. Little vague on the details. (Kat)
Isn't it, though? (Sin)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#21. The culture war in America can best be described by the battle between workin' hard, playin' hard s - tkickers that bust our ass to make America strong by earning our own way and kickin' maximum ass versus soulless weaklings who have been brainwashed into thinking they are entitled to a free ride.
Ted Nugent
#22. I don't know," I said. "Whether or not he can write his own name seems to have very little impact on his ability to be an ass.
Danielle Bennett
#23. Because from the first line I can tell how many hours the mule was carrying it up his ass on the way from Colombo to Minsk. And that's nothing, I can know how many times that ass of his was ...
Victor Pelevin
#24. I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it and one is the feeling that I haven't just been sitting on my ass all afternoon.
William F. Buckley Jr.
#25. Want some help with help with that stick in your ass, love?"
"No. It's quite comfortable, thank you."
"It should be. It's been in there for years." Nix winked at Will. "I hope you'll forgive my wife. She's a bit antisocial."
"And water's a bit wet.
S.W. Vaughn
#26. If I could have three wishes, one would be to take an '88 and shove that barrel up Hitler's ass so that cocksucker can cry like the little god-damned girl he is. And hell, after that, I wouldn't need two more wishes.
George S. Patton
#27. Fate was working its ass off when it got us all together.
Elmore Leonard
#28. I play a female Indiana Jones, a professor who hunts down precious objects, like a bowl that belonged to the Buddha. They tailored the role to me: I wanted to be smart, funny, and to kick some ass.
Tia Carrere
#29. To get the crowd to cry Hosanna, you must first ride to town on an ass.
David Mitchell
#30. I mean, you tell me I got a magic button up my ass that'll make me come my brains out, of course I'm curious. But I'm never gonna go there, because gross.
Amy Jo Cousins
#31. Like most gunters, I voted to reelect Cory Doctorow and Wil Wheaton (again). There were no term limits, and those two geezers had been doing a kick-ass job of protecting user rights for over a decade.
Ernest Cline
#32. You have two choices, grasshopper. Out-slut Clotile - or go Springer on her ass. I'm down for the assist in both scenarios.
Kresley Cole
#33. When can I drive the new ride?" "When you learn that a yellow light means haul ass to get through it before it turns red instead of slowing down to a crawl a half a block away.
J.D. Robb
#34. Hey now," Maahes said. "Don't be making that face. Okay? You start crying, I start crying, and I look like a total freak when I cry. Nothing worse than a big-ass man blubbering like a baby. Totally kills my chances with the women. You know?
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#35. You ass-sniffing, butt-crack licking, litter-box-using fuckhole!
Celia Kyle
#36. Bloody hell, every time. Some days being a godmother is a pain in my bubbly ass,
Marie Hall
#37. Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Frank Zappa
#39. The thirst for knowledge is like a piece of ass you know you shouldn't chase; in the end, you chase it just the same.
George Pelecanos
#40. You know, just sayin', you said this shit to me like you just said it to me rather than yellin' at my ass until the only option I have to stop you from yellin' is to tap your ass, it might have penetrated about ten months ago.
Kristen Ashley
#41. From: Christian Grey
Subject: &*%$&*&*
Date: August 23 2011 11:23
To: Anastasia Grey
Believe me when I say there are a great many things he'd like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of them.
Christian Grey
CEO & Ass man, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
E.L. James
#44. Television is the most insidious form of escape known to man. It is the leading medication in the production of catatonia, cutting attention spans down to nothing, and as result will gut the sales of this book. And nobody gives a rat's ass because everyone's catatonic.
Tommy Walker
#45. And if I ever see you or your fake ass Chanel earrings around here again, I will shove my very real, very pointy Jimmy Choos up your prissy little ass. Do I make myself clear?
Magan Vernon
#46. In a city like San Francisco, you can throw a rock out your front door and hit someone with a nice ass and pretty brown eyes. But to find someone you want to fall asleep with, someone you want to breathe and dream next to, is terribly rare.
Christopher Baer Will
#47. When we get off the plane, the fact that we are far from New York immediately becomes evident. Everything moves slower here; the change of pace feels something like relief. The Southern drawl has a laxative effect on Carl too, magically removing the stick from his ass.
Julie Buxbaum
#48. I had to stop drinking alcohol because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.
Robin Williams
#49. I'm tempted to shove one of my romance novels up your ass"- P.J. said sharply
"But I love my books too much to desecrate them like that. I'll settle for my boot.
Maya Banks
#50. On Talking to Strangers "Listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don't know them, run away. No one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant ass somewhere else." On
Justin Halpern
#51. She straddles me, ass to my face, reverse cowgirl, tangled hair swinging. And son of a bitch, the woman can ride.
Karen Marie Moning
#52. i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass
Tao Lin
#53. Ou run, you do your crunches, I don't give a fuck. But you lose any of that ass, those tits, those hips or your Buddha belly, just sayin', babe, you lose me.
Kristen Ashley
#54. I learnt very early in life that whenever there is a choice between peace of mind and piece of ass, go for the former.
Shahrukh Khan
#55. I'm only interested in working on records that legitimately reflect the band's own perception of their music and existence. If you commit yourselves to that as a tenet of the recording methodology, then I will bust my ass for you.
Steve Albini
#56. There's the smell of the devil's mischievousness, a pitchfork in your ass and sulfur in your mouth. The Bastard's there, all right, don't doubt it.
Andrew Davidson
#57. He slides his button-up under my ass and pulls down his boxer-briefs, freeing an enormous, vein-striped, purple-headed fuck machine.
Ella James
#58. Ann Coulter is living proof that you can't make a silk purse out of a horse's ass
Andrew Breitbart
#59. I'd lost everything I had. I didn't have the heart to take from someone else." "Plus I would've sniped your ass.
Mindy McGinnis
#60. When someone, anyone! Black, white, red, yellow, brown. Anybody! Disrespects you, get right on their ass, and stay there until somebody pulls you off. That's how you get respect, and teach people not to fuck with you at the same time.
Po Sally
#61. To go from playing a character that was so self-assured, so mature beyond her years, and so kick-ass and ruthless to someone who's quite normal is interesting.
Alycia Debnam Carey
#62. [ ... ] he had his hand on your -" He put his hand at waist level behind me, without touching me.
"He had his hand on my ass?"
"No," they said.
"Behind your back," Rashad said. "Like you're dating or something." He put his hand behind Skip's back. Skip hit him.
Jennifer Echols
#63. I don't think we should really be judging on Chris Brown like that until we know what Rihanna did. We all got reasons for what we do. Look at me. I'm one of the top 10 performers of all-time. I had to beat this one mermaid ass in a seafood restaurant over some shrimps. No lie. You just never know.
Coolio
#64. Hierarchy is an organization with its face toward the CEO and its ass toward the customer.
Jack Welch
#65. You really are a pain in the ass," he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away and tucks my hair behind my ear, "But you're my pain in the ass.
Kandi Steiner
#67. Dear God, please let this very hot ass badassfinally take advantage of me.Love, Charlie
Jaymin Eve
#68. But this is the kind of ass-clownery that stems from the fact that all philosophy looks weird when you don't have one.
Jonah Goldberg
#69. Gawaine and Gareth took turns with the fat ass, one of them whacking it while the other rode bareback.
T.H. White
#70. Colder than the nipple on a witch's tit! Colder than a bucket of penguin shit! Colder than the hairs of a polar bear's ass! Colder than the frost on a champagne glass!
Thomas Pynchon
#71. As I grow older, I put all life's bulls**t aside. I think the process of the laying off of the bulls**t starts around 40. Before that, most men have their heads stuck in their ass. After 40, you see things differently. You've found yourself. You're accepting yourself and what you got from life.
Dennis Quaid
#72. Hey, I could be your assistant! I'd be an Assistant Serial Killer Serial Killer. I'd be an Ass. Or do I need the Ks in there? Because that wouldn't sound nearly as cool.
Darynda Jones
#74. Clay said, "If they have flashlights like us, we can almost assume-"
"We can't assume anything," [Alice] said restlessly, querulously. "My father says assume makes an ass out of you and me. Get it, u and-"
"I get it," Clay said.
Stephen King
#75. F-ck you, p-ssy ass haters you should do you.
Drake
#76. Fee-uck, man. This game is still on. I get that sixty-two yet. I get his ass and whip it into shape. Damnright. I get that shitpiss sixty-two and beat his black ass into the ground."
"He's white," I said.
"I know he's white. They're all white. Everybody's white. Black fucks.
Don DeLillo
#77. Oh shit did you just dis the feminine gender
I'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blender
You think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhyme
But I got flow like Ghostbusters got slime
Objectify women and it's fuckin' on
You'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon.
John Green
#78. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama My Ass
When empathy becomes a trend,
we haven't reached a higher level of consciousness,
just a higher level of competition.
Beryl Dov
#79. Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about Summerslam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this, if the Rock hits you he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours jabroni.
Dwayne Johnson
#80. What I didn't know was that if I didn't stand with my back to the wall, Hollywood people would unscrew my ass and sell it down the river.
Joseph Wambaugh
#81. Always have class but always kick ass.
A.D. Posey
#82. Disapproval. "If you weren't already down and out I'd kick your ass for saying that. I will always be here when you need me. God knows you've been there for me countless times." They all turned when they heard a car pull up.
Maya Banks
#83. Honestly when you do it black and white, you really have to work your ass off. Because if you make it, make it good. Otherwise, don't pretend.
Rie Rasmussen
#84. The librarian is a caricature of librarian - short white hair, horn-rimmed glasses, a bosom you could hide Christmas presents under and a New England-tight-ass face that looks like she hasn's taken a shit since her family came over on the Mayflower.
Bart Yates
#85. You will treat my underwear with the reverence it deserves. Next time, you will stop and appreciate
hell, you'll marvel at the miracle of my ass clad in silk.
Molly Harper
#86. Tae kwon do required focus, strength, and endurance, but mostly it required the ability to deal with looking like an ass in public.
Chelsea Cain
#88. Oh shit, I was just flirting with the waitress a little. It was harmless. I told her those jeans must be from outer space because her ass is out of this world." "Oh my
Elle Parker
#90. I think of country radio like a great lover: you were nice to me, you gave me a lot of cool stuff, and then you dumped my ass for another woman.
Dolly Parton
#91. No one with seven books in New York City settles for one piece of ass. That's what you get for a couplet.
Philip Roth
#92. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it saved my ass.
Michael J. Fox
#94. Cas does have a weakness for girls who can kick his ass.
Kendare Blake
#95. The arithmetic is quite simple. Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something! Take the cleverness you apply to Words with Friends and utilize it to make some kick-ass corn bread. Corn Bread with Friends - try that game.
Nick Offerman
#96. I WAS seriously hurt because of you. Seeing you in another guy's arms, kissing him ... It shredded me, Eva. Cut me open and left me bleeding. I kicked he ass in self-defense.
Sylvia Day
#97. Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.
Kevin Hearne
#98. When I look at myself as a younger actor, I see what a tight ass I was. I had a pretty big shadow because of my father and the comparisons. I was self-conscious about that. Now I realize there was nothing to be worried about.
Michael Douglas
#99. Any stupid ass can die- you have to work at living!
Jack LaLanne
#100. minutes?" Jason was on the edge, and I was falling over the cliff with him. I wasn't sure I could handle everything in one day after all. I would've preferred another day of everyone kicking my ass and getting hit by
Zane
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