Top 100 Darynda Jones Quotes
#1. The regular I both feared and salivated to see was names Reyes Farrow. Where others exuded aggression, deception, and insecurity, he literally dripped confidence, sex, and power. Mostly sex.
Darynda Jones
#2. And who came up with the animals for these euphemisms, anyway? Why bat shit? Why not cow shit or grasshopper shit? And why don't we give a rat's ass as opposed to a hamster's ass?
Darynda Jones
#3. Thank the gods Ubie'd had her detailed, because blood simmering under the New Mexico sun was never a good scent choice for cars. I preferred pine. Or
Darynda Jones
#4. What do you want?"
"You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.
Darynda Jones
#5. My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
#6. I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
#7. I'm like crack. People don't want to like me, but once they get a taste, they always come back for more.
Darynda Jones
#8. The fastest way to a man's heart is by tearing a hole through his rib cage_T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
#9. Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte
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#10. I snuggled deep into the covers,adjusted my pillow until it was just right, then lay down until my head rested on Reyes's shoulder.
Darynda Jones
#11. I guess it's a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed," he said. "Why's that?" "We can still see each other after I die.
Darynda Jones
#13. The rush of adrenaline helped. Not a lot. I still needed a caffeine fix, but at least I was awake enough to realize I quite possibly had my underwear on inside out. Something didn't feel right down yonder.
Darynda Jones
#14. A blank is the only thing I draw well. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
#15. Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.
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#16. I don't know. You just seem different now. Distant. Like you have PTSD.
I knew from where I spoke. My TSD got P'd when I was tortured by a monster named Earl.
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#17. He'd actually hit me! It didn't matter that hitting me wasn't really like hitting a regular girl and I'd be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I'd just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones
#18. Grab me a chib, wifey. Shite's about to get real.
Darynda Jones
#19. there is nothing to fear more in life than fear.... and spiders
Darynda Jones
#20. The man stood back, not sure what to think. That was my secret weapon. Confuse 'em and keep 'em guessing long enough to run away. I
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#21. Guys have feelings too. But like ... who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
#22. Does workman's comp cover paper cuts?" "Do chickens lay snowballs?
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#23. A wicked grin crinkled one corner of his mouth as he secured another sticky note on the door before shutting it in my face.
I blinked, then read the note.
Use the key.
Darynda Jones
#24. My real mom died when I was born - hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to
me, which has never been one of my favorite memories - and Dad married Denise before I'd turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the
matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
#25. ANXIETY GIRL! ABLE TO JUMP TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION IN A SINGLE BOUND. - T-SHIRT
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#26. Signs you drink too much coffee: You don't sweat. You percolate.
Internet meme
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#27. Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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#28. What's your specialty?
Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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#30. if he was going to flirt so openly with a skank who wore enough hair spray to thin the ozone a good two inches, then he could have at it. I had better things to do with my time than watch him. For example, I needed to put the song "Jolene" on repeat and listen to it about a thousand times.
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#31. That took balls."
"Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two.
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#32. A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it.
It was fun while it lasted.
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#33. I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
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#34. The realization that Garrett actually had a mother kind of disturbed me. But only for about twelve seconds. I rarely held thoughts in my head any longer than twelve seconds. Damn my ADD.
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#35. I wouldnae refuse a square go, but I'd best warn ye, I'm solid." It
Darynda Jones
#37. Don't give up. Research like crazy. Join a writer's organization. Read books on the publishing world. It all helps!
Darynda Jones
#38. Someone had to laugh, and I was pretty much the only one who got me. It was a lonely life.
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#39. I studied him as he studied me. Something came out of that dimension. It looked like my husband. Smelled like him. Felt like him. But the being standing in a pool of billowing black smoke was not the man I married. He was a feral version of him. A beast.
This truly was Rey'azikeen.
Darynda Jones
#40. Keep Reading.
Keep Writing.
Keep Pushing yourself!
And never stop learning!
We writerly types have to stick together mostly because everybody else thinks we're "weird".
Darynda Jones
#41. Okay, I'll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn't really created to find things out for you."
"Really? That's weird.
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#43. Danger: Attitude subject to change without notice.
Darynda Jones
#44. Cookie&Charley Coffee moments:
"You did your dishes with shampoo?"
"It was either that or my apricot body scrub."
"No, good call. A little shampoo won't hurt you.
Darynda Jones
#45. We don't read to observe the character from a distance. We read to become the character and experience the conflicts and rewards they are experiencing.
Darynda Jones
#47. Clothes? sufficient Keys? found 'em Coffee cup? full Sanity? sanity? - T-SHIRT
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#48. I see dead people.
No, wait. I take that back. I see people I want dead.
ecard
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#49. And then he spoke the very first words he'd ever spoken to me. His deep, rich voice dissolved my bones. I almost responded with "Of course I'll have sex with you before you sacrifice me to your gods." Then I realized he'd asked me where the restroom was.
Darynda Jones
#50. God I loved Sammy. I'd considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
#51. He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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#52. I could fight a dozen hounds from hell, I could bring down the son of Satan with a word, but put me in the ring with a psychotic chick, and I go down in the first.
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#53. That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason."
"You're not?" I asked, hope softening my voice.
"Oh, no, I'm more than capable. I just didn't realize you
knew that.
Darynda Jones
#54. Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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#55. Misery loves company, which explains my sudden popularity. - T-SHIRT
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#56. Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving."
What the hell did that mean? "I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.
Darynda Jones
#59. Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts."
Donovan raised his brows humorously.
Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them?
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#60. I learn from everything I do, right and wrong. I think it helps me grow as a writer and a person.
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#61. Sometimes I crave pickles. Other times I crave the blood of my enemy. Weird. - CHARLEY DAVIDSON
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#62. You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords."
"Only for you.
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#63. Wait. Somehow the word chicken struck a chord. I played with it in my mind. Rolled it over my tongue. Then came to a conclusion; It was me. I was a chicken butt.
Darynda Jones
#65. Captain, I said, letting the surprise I felt filter into my voice. It was weird how every time I said the word captain, I wanted to tack on a Jack Sparrow at the end.
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#66. My love is like a candle. Carry me with you and I'll light your path. Forget me and I'll burn your fucking house down. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
#67. I don't think I could ever complete anyone. But driving someone insane sounds doable. -Internet meme
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#68. Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
#69. One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."
I had no idea she was into anal.
Darynda Jones
#70. I had no red tape. I didn't even have any clear tape or duct tape or electrical tape.
Nope. I lived a tape-free life and liked it. Unless, you know, I needed to tape something.
Darynda Jones
#72. Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock!
Darynda Jones
#73. I came into this world covered in someone else's blood and screaming. I'm not afraid to leave it the same way.
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#75. True heroes are never heroes for the recognition. They do what they are supposed to do, play the hand they've been dealt. And true heroes don't seek out heroism. It's thrust upon them.
Darynda Jones
#76. Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?"
"He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you're interested
Darynda Jones
#77. And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing?
Darynda Jones
#78. We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
#79. If he didn't hate me so much and he wasn't an evil supernatural being, I'd be on him like black on Cookie's toast.
That woman could not make toast.
Darynda Jones
#80. Charley's "FOR THE LOVE OF":
"Oh,FOR THE LOVE OF gravy"
"Just be honest with me, FOR THE LOVE OF applesauce, Gemma."
"But FOR THE LOVE OF marinara, I typed, don't shoot anyone.
Darynda Jones
#81. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)
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#82. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance ... The five stages of waking up.
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#83. An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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#84. Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot.
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#85. What other secrets are you hiding behind those sparkling eyes?"
He grinned. "You have my heart. That's where I hide all my secrets."
"Then I guess I don't have the key."
"Are you kidding? You forged the key.
Darynda Jones
#86. It doesn't matter what you do, you cannot please everyone. You can write the next Hunger Games and there are going to be people who hate your book with a fiery passion. You just gots to get up, brush yourself off, and start again.
Darynda Jones
#87. I felt like the girl who showed up at a formal dinner party in jeans and a Pink Floyd T-shirt. Probably 'cause I did that once.
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#88. I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds.
"Are you psychotic?" I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
#89. Amber was busy flirting with a rookie named Dead Meat if he didn't stop flirting back. She was eleven, for heaven's sake! Of course, he may have just been humoring her. And it was a little cute. In a gross, Chester-the-molester kind of way.
Darynda Jones
#90. And as your writing evolves, what you need and get from it evolves.
Darynda Jones
#91. I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.
Darynda Jones
#92. Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.
Darynda Jones
#93. No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.
Darynda Jones
#94. There were few things Deaf people found more amusing than hearing people who knew just enough sign to be dangerous.
Darynda Jones
#95. In that one, they'd done their darnedest to destroy Riley's Switch. This time, instead of two-by-fours and tire irons, they seemed a little more focused on choke holds and knees to the face. Their desire to be close to each other was sweet.
Darynda Jones
#96. Look," he said, clearly having made up his mind, "I've made up my mind." Nailed it.
Darynda Jones
#97. I'm Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could've been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones
#98. I think I met your friend Charley."
"You ... did? When?"
"When I looked in the mirror this morning."
She stood in disbelief for a moment. Then astonishment. Then doubt. Then hope. Then wariness. Aka, the five stages of Cookie.
Darynda Jones
#99. I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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