Top 100 Shaquille O'Neal Quotes
#1. I knew Rick Pitino was going to make them play that outbreak, monkey defense. He's been doing it all his life.
Shaquille O'Neal
#2. Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I'm going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that.
Shaquille O'Neal
#3. I'm very excited about my new agreement with the Heat. This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship.
Shaquille O'Neal
#5. If I was able to have the game I have and shoot 80% from the line, I'd probably be an arrogant person rather than a humble one. Everything happens for a reason.
Shaquille O'Neal
#8. This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.
Shaquille O'Neal
#9. Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five.
Shaquille O'Neal
#11. I'm not worried about facing the Sacramento Queens. Write it down. Take a picture. I'm not going to talk about this all year. When I get back, there's going to be trouble.
Shaquille O'Neal
#12. If you want Shaq to be Shaq, you've got to remember that Shaq is known for wreaking havoc offensively - 26,000-plus points without consistently making free throws. Don't have me doing something I'm not used to doing. I ain't used to being a pick-setter. Let me badda-bing, badda-bang.
Shaquille O'Neal
#13. I don't ever want to grow up. I guess I'm like Peter Pan. Grown-ups have problems. I want to stay happy.
Shaquille O'Neal
#15. In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together.
Shaquille O'Neal
#17. That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please.
Shaquille O'Neal
#18. I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.
Shaquille O'Neal
#19. David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do.
Shaquille O'Neal
#20. Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.
Shaquille O'Neal
#21. I am Superman. And the only thing that can kill Superman is Kryptonite. And Kryptonite doesn't exist.
Shaquille O'Neal
#22. I don't take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.
Shaquille O'Neal
#23. Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.
Shaquille O'Neal
#25. I'm not a young jitterbug anymore. When I was a young jitterbug, I never won. I didn't start winning until I got older. The older I get, the wiser I get. You just have to play it smart.
Shaquille O'Neal
#26. I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard.
Shaquille O'Neal
#27. I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.
Shaquille O'Neal
#28. When I'm done playing basketball, I want do something bigger. I'm working on my doctorate right now at Barry University in Florida.
Shaquille O'Neal
#29. If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we're both going to say ouch.
Shaquille O'Neal
#30. I don't see us having a problem. It's going to be my job to manage the locker room, anyway, so it will work out.
Shaquille O'Neal
#31. Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).
Shaquille O'Neal
#32. Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.'
Shaquille O'Neal
#33. I told my wife the other day, I'm the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.
Shaquille O'Neal
#34. I don't know their names. Their names have been erased from my memory banks. If I tried to bring 'em back, I'd get shocked.
Shaquille O'Neal
#37. I think it would be a boring game if everybody was the same, just like it would be boring if you guys asked the same dumb questions.
Shaquille O'Neal
#38. To all the young people out there who think money and fame is important: that's only a small piece of the pie. You need an education to be totally secure in life. I feel very secure I can go get a real job now.
Shaquille O'Neal
#39. When you feed the big dog, it does whatever you tell him to do.
Shaquille O'Neal
#40. Everybody talks about being a role model. But if you look up the word 'role' in a dictionary, it describes playing a part. Everything I'm into, it's real to me. There's nothing fake about it.
Shaquille O'Neal
#41. He doesn't need advice on how to play his position, but he needs advice on how to play team ball ... If it's going to be my team, I'll voice my opinion. If he don't like it, he can opt out.
Shaquille O'Neal
#42. There was a kid that had five brothers and sisters, and the family was missing for like five days. I was watching TV, they [found each other] and now they're in San Antonio. So I bought them a little apartment in San Antonio. But I'm doing stuff like that all over.
Shaquille O'Neal
#43. Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.
Shaquille O'Neal
#45. And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business.
Shaquille O'Neal
#46. For once in my career, I won't have to hold anybody's hand and they won't have to hold mine. I'm surrounded by veterans. We had a great battle last Thursday at HealthPoint. It was something I never had before - three, four, really great players all in one pickup game.
Shaquille O'Neal
#47. I was really upset. I felt like they tried to limit me, whoever 'they' may be. So I just said to myself third quarter I'm going to come out and do what I do.
Shaquille O'Neal
#49. Why did it happen? The big dog got fed. And when the big dog was fed, the little dog even got some meat in there, too. Big dog owns the domain, but the little dog can go wherever he wants.
Shaquille O'Neal
#50. I said it jokingly, so this guy was just trying to stir something up that's not there. He's just somebody who doesn't have a sense of humor, like I do.
Shaquille O'Neal
#51. This is the team that when you look at it, you say, 'This is our time.
Shaquille O'Neal
#52. Obviously, Sam is the type of guy that hides behind his pen and pad. I promise you he wouldn't say that to my face in a dark alley where it's just me and him and no witnesses.
Shaquille O'Neal
#53. We live in an impatient world. Everybody is always looking for the next big Kobe, the next big LeBron, the next big Twitter.
Shaquille O'Neal
#54. I'm the NBA's best NFL player, and I've always been the sexiest 7-footer in the NBA - for 12 years running.
Shaquille O'Neal
#55. I blame Riley for my broken thumb, not Matt Geiger. That ain't defense Miami is playing. That's just chopping. I have no idea how his team gets away with it. I guess when you've been in the league 30 years you can do it. Respect, he gets it - he's like John Gotti.
Shaquille O'Neal
#56. Me shooting 40% at the foul line is just God's way to say nobody's perfect.
Shaquille O'Neal
#57. I think it was 89.2% cheers and 11.8% boos, but I'm used to that.
Shaquille O'Neal
#59. I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn't want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.
Shaquille O'Neal
#60. Win or lose, I am programmed to do more. That's because I am the other son of Jorel - Superman.
Shaquille O'Neal
#61. Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one. I never knock a man for his opinion.
Shaquille O'Neal
#62. I don't have to shoot from more than two feet. I'm top 50. I've got 23,000 from where I shoot.
Shaquille O'Neal
#64. Stay out of the gentlemen's clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.
Shaquille O'Neal
#65. No matter where they put people, no matter how they try to promote people, there aren't too many people in the game today that are on my level on and off the court.
Shaquille O'Neal
#67. We want to win. We want to win big. We want to win the whole thing.
Shaquille O'Neal
#68. They asked me when I was out there, 'Why do you want to be traded?' I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That's backwards, man.
Shaquille O'Neal
#73. I was fortunate enough to see and handle and take in everything I could while I was playing.
Shaquille O'Neal
#74. You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen. Now me, I'm the showman of big men.
Shaquille O'Neal
#75. The day I stopped worrying about stats is the day I started winning
Shaquille O'Neal
#76. I've been 11, 12 percent body fat my whole career. But when you've got a big, sexy, beautiful man that's up in the 340s, 350s, the way you guys were taught on this planet, you're going to automatically think it's fat.
Shaquille O'Neal
#77. As a man, you got to know how to take it, so I just took it.
Shaquille O'Neal
#78. I'm getting older. I'm getting sexier. I'm getting meaner. I can still do what I do.
Shaquille O'Neal
#80. I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don't finish the date - you know what I mean?
Shaquille O'Neal
#82. A lot of coaches play percentages when it comes to me, but that's just a way of saying that you can't stop me.
Shaquille O'Neal
#83. I don't think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me - Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura ... It's not that I blame him, I just wish he'd go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don't whine. When he whines, that's when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.
Shaquille O'Neal
#87. Being that I'm a tropical black man I don't get to see much snow. When I see snow I go crazy. That's why they call me Sasquatch. There's no Sasquatch found in the snow so I had to go back to my Sasquatchian roots.
Shaquille O'Neal
#88. I'm going to be on a mission. I've handled my personal vendettas and handled them well. Every challenge you put in front of me, I've handled it, dismantled it - ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.
Shaquille O'Neal
#89. Everything happens for a reason. I'm used to it, I prepare for it. Like I say, at the end of the day, those in charge of their own destiny are going to do what's right for them and their family.
Shaquille O'Neal
#90. We're going to do it again next year. We'll see you again next year. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I said it. We will do it again next year.
Shaquille O'Neal
#91. It's pretty much the same; it's just that Phil was very weird with his system. This is more of the traditional system.
Shaquille O'Neal
#93. But that is the only thing that slows me down is the system. No one, two or three was big enough to slow me down, only the system. It was the system that slowed me down to make my numbers fall. Not because I am older.
Shaquille O'Neal
#94. I dribble rhymes like basketball ...
People call me 'E.T.'
What's that, Shaq man?
'Extra Tall.'
Shaquille O'Neal
#95. I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge ... in this medulla oblongata.
Shaquille O'Neal
#96. Nietzsche was so intelligent and advanced. And that's how I am. I'm the black, basketball-playing Nietzsche.
Shaquille O'Neal
#97. Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn't I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?
Shaquille O'Neal
#98. But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.
Shaquille O'Neal
#99. As a military child I first learned how to deal with different types of people and how to deal with order.
Shaquille O'Neal
#100. I think I'm one of the patches of the quilt here, myself and Dwyane.
Shaquille O'Neal
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