Dan Gutman Quotes

#1. ASSUME is to make an ASS of U and ME.

Dan Gutman

#2. Baseball freely admits that the sport
like civilized society
is crawling with bums.

Dan Gutman

#3. If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager

Dan Gutman

#4. Fizz Ed is gym class,

Dan Gutman

#5. The way your life plays out depends on which dominoes you chose to push over and which ones you leave alone.

Dan Gutman

#6. Every bad thing that happens in the world is good for somebody.

Dan Gutman

#7. Alan Shepard was the first and only interplanetary golfer," Coke told his sister. "He was also the first and only interplanetary litterbug," Moe said. "What he did was disgraceful.

Dan Gutman

#8. Feel the flowing life energy." "Yesssssssssssssss ... " "Can you see the universe unfolding in your mind?" Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dan Gutman

#9. Do stupid stuff and even stupider suff will happen to you.

Dan Gutman

#10. You wanna grow up to be a trivia question?" she asked, challenging me. "Or do you wanna make a difference in the world?

Dan Gutman

#11. Sometimes we spend so much time and energy thinking about where we want to go that we don't notice where we happen to be.

Dan Gutman

#12. When the blood rushes to my head, it helps me think. Well, I know that blood rushing to your head doesn't help you grow hair, because Mr. Klutz had no hair on his head at all. He was bald as a balloon.

Dan Gutman

#13. If you're going to break the rules, you might as well break them correctly.

Dan Gutman

#14. A lot of people seem nice when you first meet them. Then later you find out that they are evil villains who plan to take over the world.

Dan Gutman

#15. Thats the first rule of being a kid

Dan Gutman

#16. Footnote:
"With all due respect" is grown-up talk for "I think you're stupid.

Dan Gutman

#17. They say there is no 'free lunch' in life. But there are free books! I still can't believe I can go to my local library and get just abut any book in the world - and I don't have to pay a dime!! It's amazing! The library is truly the greatest invention of our civilization.

Dan Gutman

#18. No matter what ya do to help somebody, it'll hurt somebody else.

Dan Gutman

#19. I don't want to be a chicken. I don't want to be a duck. So I shake my butt.

Dan Gutman

#20. In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat.

Dan Gutman

#21. Hey soda girl. You're flat.

Dan Gutman