Top 83 Larry Correia Quotes
#1. You might think you're a good liar, but you're not. I'm better at this than you are. Your professional lying days were limited to junkies and whores, but I routinely lie to Congress . . . Well, never mind. I suppose we're not that different after all.
Larry Correia
#2. From the commotion, Franks figured it had to be pretty impressive-looking, but then again, if they weren't easily impressed, they wouldn't be cultists to begin with. "Hurry!
Larry Correia
#3. Novak, climb up that wall and see if you can get an angle on the big one." The military rifle in her hands wasn't particular impressive. "I don't know if it'll notice." "Try to shoot it in the soft bits.
Larry Correia
#4. Jake Sullivan: FDR can go to hell. I'm a man. Not a type, not a number, and sure as hell not something that can be summed up as a logo to wear on my sleeve. A man. And I ain't registering nothing.
Larry Correia
#5. Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore.
Larry Correia
#6. The sight of so many guns, mostly deer rifles and duck guns but with a smattering of black rifles and riot shotguns, made him glad that this was going down in a rural area where people still had their heads screwed on right about personal defense.
Larry Correia
#7. This won't hurt a bit. Well, actually it'll probably hurt like a son of a bitch. Bite down on something, she suggested.
Larry Correia
#8. With his long red beard, and bristling with firearms and knives, he reminded me of a pirate. A very mellow pirate, but a pirate nonetheless.
Larry Correia
#9. I didn't even know what color lavender was. I think most men would consider it light blue, or something.
Larry Correia
#10. You think it's because of the girl. Grant probably thinks it's because of the girl too. That's because you're both idiots.
Larry Correia
#11. On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.
Larry Correia
#12. Holy symbols like crosses and blessed water occasionally have an effect, but are dependent upon the personal faith of the user. Most Hunters opt for violence over faith; we're kind of like soccer fans that way.
Larry Correia
#13. When I get those types, the men who just need to control everything, to tell everybody else what to do, I stick it in and break it off. I'm fighting for freedom.
Larry Correia
#14. Pangborn took the satchel by the straps. "What is it?" "A bomb." The mechanic's eyes widened. "Thanks?
Larry Correia
#15. But if I have to deal with another stupid elf and their mystic crap I swear I'm going to shoot them all in their stupid inbred hick faces and burn their trailer park down.
Larry Correia
#16. Now that's just racist stereotyping," Tanya sniffed. "I'm offended." "You can file a complaint with the Trailer Park Elf Defamation League
Larry Correia
#17. Nikolai's a badass Russian. Badass Russians only have three emotions: revenge, depression, and vodka.
Larry Correia
#18. I think that the law isn't about words on paper. It's about doing what's right,
Larry Correia
#19. There is a vast gulf between perfection and near perfection, and that gulf is filled with agony.
Larry Correia
#20. That fool has no idea how to behave in polite society," his friend agreed. Apparently the polite thing to do was lie and insinuate horrible things with impunity, all while never expecting any repercussions.
Larry Correia
#21. Holy shit! I exclaimed, and that was one of the most coherent comments of the bunch.
Larry Correia
#23. Why can't we ever fight cute, helpless monsters? Like the ones on Sesame Street?
Larry Correia
#24. You can swap the message around, and whatever the particular norm is, or whatever the particular message is, when you put your pet-peeve message before story, odds are you are going to bore the shit out of your reader.
Larry Correia
#25. I always take no for an answer," I said, definitely. "I just prefer yes. And I really don't go for married women. That's a line I try very hard not to cross. I'm still an outrageous flirt.
Larry Correia
#26. Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.
Larry Correia
#28. There are three kinds of people in the world: people who can't believe anything, suckers who believe everything, and a few of us who can face the truth.
Larry Correia
#29. Last time MCB was out here was when a hard rain revealed one of their experiments. A deer was exposed to it and grew tentacles instead of antlers. Tentacle deer ... The Army doesn't pay me enough to deal with that kind of shit.
Larry Correia
#30. Having spent time in Hell, he knew that government paperwork was the closest mankind had ever come to achieving true soul-crushing misery.
Larry Correia
#31. Up to ninety percent of a politician's time is absorbed just doing fund-raising. That's
Larry Correia
#32. Mordechai, I swear that if you screw up and kill me, I'm going to be pissed. If I end up a ghost, I'm gonna be kicking your ghost ass for eternity.
Larry Correia
#33. She had never cared for social things, as society was just a complicated collection of individually annoying people, and she didn't like most people to begin with,
Larry Correia
#34. I folded the restraining order into a paper airplane and sailed it over to Julie without even interrupting my narrative. She caught, unfolded, and read it while mouthing something that looked suspiciously like ducking mother truckers, but I'm not very good at lip reading.
Larry Correia
#35. Sullivan figured they were mostly in it for the money, a few for the adventure, and the rest because they'd follow Bob Southunder into hell if their captain thought it was a good idea.
Larry Correia
#37. When you're getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don't need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends. I briefly contemplated shooting Grant in the leg.
Larry Correia
#38. Orders were often given by those who lacked imagination.
Larry Correia
#39. The doctors had been impressed that I was even alive. When I had asked one of them approximately how much blood I had lost, he had responded wryly with "most of it.
Larry Correia
#40. The guy that helped me learn this stuff suggested prayer and meditation. So I took up smoking.
Larry Correia
#42. I'll distract her ... Okay, lady. Say hello to my little friend." Lance began to laugh maniacally. "What'd you do?" Heinrich asked. "Had a rat crawl up her dress to bite her on the ass. Ha!
Larry Correia
#43. Then the rest of my men and I will make a run for the train tracks." "Not without me guiding you, you're not," Novak said. "Obviously. The jokes about the most dangerous thing in the military being a lieutenant with a map exist for a reason." Cleasby
Larry Correia
#44. I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.
Larry Correia
#45. She wore glasses, and I was a sucker for a girl in corrective eyewear. Since I was ugly it was probably some sort of subconscious reaction in the hope that I might have a chance with a cute girl who couldn't see very
Larry Correia
#46. He went back to being a unremarkable part of the command center, like a particularly dangerous chair.
Larry Correia
#47. I'd tell you to be careful, but I know you've got eyes in the back of your head." "Tried that once. Too disorienting." "You're a very literal man, Franks ...
Larry Correia
#48. You control an unruly dog with a chain ... or a cage. Never underestimate fear" - Heinrich gestured angrily at Roosevelt - "or the men who would capitalize on it to get what they want." "You are such a pessimist. This is America. Nothing like that could ever happen here.
Larry Correia
#49. Canada? Please. That's like they took Vermont and made a whole country out of it, only more boring, and without the good maple syrup.
Larry Correia
#50. I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said.
Larry Correia
#51. You misunderstand the point of a symbol of faith then." He walked towards the vampires. "You're abominations, of course it doesn't matter to you. What matters is how much it means to me.
Larry Correia
#52. I'm sorry. The KGB did not have classes in cracker.
Larry Correia
#54. Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a scientist!
Larry Correia
#55. You're not from around here. You talk funny." "Alabama. Where bears don't eat people, it don't usually snow, and it's customary for the new guy getting told the tale to buy the drinks for the men doing the telling.
Larry Correia
#56. It's time to go. We'll continue this therapy session later." "So you're my therapist now?" "Apparently, I'm a life coach for idiots.
Larry Correia
#57. He tried to choke me with the seat belt, so I elbowed him in the face until he stopped moving. It took three good blows to his noggin to put him out. I'll admit, I enjoyed that part.
Larry Correia
#58. It is hard to sleep when roaches keep skittering across your body. My understanding is that since roaches can't shift into reverse, if one of them crawls into your ear canal it can get really nasty and potentially kill you. Sleep on that.
Larry Correia
#59. Now it is mine." "I only dropped it because I got shot in the neck!" "That is no excuse for sloppy weapon retention," Acosta replied. "It
Larry Correia
#60. There is no such thing as a "peacekeeping mission" in the Middle East. Period. The Middle East has been at war, literally, since the dawn of history. The
Larry Correia
#61. Her father had been a sailor. Her mother had been a siren. That particular relationship had worked out better than normal, with the sailor not being drowned then eaten, and Sharon had been the result, brought back to human civilization and raised to be a civilized young lady.
Larry Correia
#62. An hour ago Franks had been swatted across the Strip by a dragon made of ectoplasm and nightmares. Bureaucratic plotting seemed inconsequential in comparison.
Larry Correia
#63. He'd been told that women were sensitive about such things, as if a scar could somehow ruin their beauty, but scars were just stories told in flesh ...
Larry Correia
#64. Nothing a wrench to the face couldn't fix." Heinrich answered. "But I suppose a wrench to the face solves most personnel issues.
Larry Correia
#65. Hello there!" Cleasby called. "Is anyone home?" "Bravo, sir," Thorny said. "If it's an ambush, that certainly put them off their game.
Larry Correia
#66. So did you score with your friend's dead mom ?
Larry Correia
#67. Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.
Larry Correia
#68. The government was the most merciless monster he'd ever dealt with, and it was the only one that he could never truly beat.
Larry Correia
#69. When monsters have nightmares, they're dreaming about us. - MHI Company Handbook
Larry Correia
#70. Frankly, some of the dumbest sons of bitches he'd ever met had been the ones with the fanciest educations and the most degrees framed on the wall.
Larry Correia
#71. As a general rule, the more a situation sucks, the more humor you can find in the little things.
Larry Correia
#72. Mom knew damned well how disgusting the bastard was but she had that incredible ability found in so many minds like hers to simply ignore all the evidence in favor of her personal view of the world. And
Larry Correia
#73. You only understand the concept of victory. Makeda does not comprehend the concept of defeat.
Larry Correia
#74. The more annoyed Earl was, the more southern he sounded, and right about then, he sounded like he was ready to fry up some catfish and watch some NASCAR.
Larry Correia
#75. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. Ahh . . . an educated man. Well, you're not as stupid as you look. Don't quote Nietzsche at me, kid. That German crackpot wouldn't know a real monster if it bit him on the ass.
Larry Correia
#76. But like they say, if an idea's stupid, but it works, then it ain't stupid,
Larry Correia
#77. Our tax dollars had equipped Agent Franks with the SUV from Hell.
Larry Correia
#78. The Royal University will get along fine without me." "And the Malcontents won't?" "If I'm away too long, they tend cause trouble. Set fires. That sort of thing." Cleasby grinned. "Sorry, sir, but I think they need me more.
Larry Correia
#79. She was about the single nicest human being he'd ever met, but she'd kill anybody she considered a bad man faster than a farmwife would wring the neck of a chicken. With Faye, once you crossed a certain line, your life was worth nothing.
Larry Correia
#80. Legible penmanship is a sign of a boring mind.
Larry Correia
#81. A wise man once told me that the place where they make law is the place where they're the least likely to obey it,
Larry Correia
#82. Wait a second, is a snooty book critic actually admitting to judging books by their covers?
Larry Correia
#83. You look into the abyss and the abyss looks back," I said, shrugging. "Then you punch the abyss in the face.
Larry Correia
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