Top 100 My Idiot Quotes
#1. Jeez, we haven't even slept together and already you don't trust me."
"I've known you all your life not to mention the fact that my idiot sister is in the next room and when you two get together it's like Laurel and Hardy do Denver.
Kristen Ashley
#2. I spin around and see Max running toward me in a gray Armani shirt. "Dante. Oh, Dante. Seal me! Seal me so hard!" He grabs my hips and pumps his toward mine. "Oh, Dante! You're so hot when you seal souls!"
I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh.
Victoria Scott
#3. The most lethal of manmade explosives can't touch it. Stand in awe not of Communism, my idiot child, but of ordinary, everyday loneliness. On May Day go out and march with your friends to its greater glory, the superpower of superpowers.
Philip Roth
#4. Dante.Oh,Dante.Seal me!Seal me so hard!".He grabs my hips and
pumps his toward mine."Oh,Dante! You're so hot when you seal souls."
I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh."What the hell was that?" I ask.
"My new move.
Victoria Scott
#5. I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.
Kylie Scott
#6. So what was that about?" Makin asked, striding up behind.
"They shot my idiot," I said.
Mark Lawrence
#7. I shouldn't be held responsible for my acts, since I was a political idiot, an artist who could not distinguish between reality and dreams
Kurt Vonnegut
#8. I'd be at work where poeple respected my opinions, said Nick. And then, I'd come home and it was like I was the village idiot.
Liane Moriarty
#9. All the people in the Kuo-ch'ing monastery They say, "Han-shan is an idiot." "Am I really an idiot:" I reflect. But my reflections fail to solve the question: for I myself do not know who the self is, And how can others know who I am?
Hanshan
#10. For a while, I had this uncontrollable urge - this addiction to danger. Now I look back and I think, 'Gee, what an idiot. I was risking my life just for the sensation of it.'
Steven Seagal
#11. I can't do this. They're going to know I'm a fraud." "Everyone's a fraud, you idiot. You'll be same as the rest of 'em. You just put one foot in front of the other and 'opefully not in yer mouth. Now 'urry up cuz I'm missin' my dinner." But
Mary Weber
#12. I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.
Ozzy Osbourne
#13. Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory???
Graystripe: ... Drowning?
Silverstream: Can't you do that in your own territory?
Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there?
Erin Hunter
#14. My boyfriend's an idiot," I say as soon as he lurches away.
"A cute idiot," Ally corrects me.
"That's like saying 'a cute mutant.' Doesn't exist.
Lauren Oliver
#15. I expect my sister to be compassionate about my heart ache. Gentle. Sympathetic.
What i get is, "you're a goddamn idiot, you know that, Drew?"
I bat you were starting to wonder why we call her The Bitch. Well, here you go.
Emma Chase
#16. -You have what they call the complete package, Adders.
-What do you know about my package?
-No that package, you idiot! You are the complete package! I wasn't talking about what's in your trousers!
Lisa J. Hobman
#17. I cared what everybody thought more than what I thought. Or more than my heart thought. And that makes me an idiot.
Andrea Portes
#18. When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Facebook)
Stephen Altrogge
#19. Is your name even David?' I asked as I yanked my panties back on.
'Is yours Melanie?' he inquired, buttoning his jeans.
'I asked first,' I countered, wondering for the umpteenth time why being an idiot came so easily to me.
Robyn Peterman
#20. So good you forgot your name tag, Michelle. Something only an unprofessional idiot would do. Not the behavior of a lady I'd want working in my bookstore. You know, a much prettier girl would never have done that. You know the rules. I'm going to have to see you in my office.
Flower Princess Kitty
#21. Dennis faced him. They glared at each other again. Neither said a word until Dennis set the glasses down, leaned back against the counter, and folded his arms over his chest. "You're an idiot." "Seems to be a common conclusion. You're not my favourite person right now either.
Sloan Parker
#22. When my grandmother was sick in the hospital, I foolishly quoted her the saying, 'never regret growing old; it's a privileged denied to many.' She glared at me and responded, 'spoken like a truly young idiot.
Dan Pearce
#23. I shook my head. "Calling my boyfriend." "You need a guy to come rescue you?" I waggled my gun. "I have that part covered, but given the situation, I'm going to let someone know where I am. I'm a feminist; I'm not an idiot.
Kelley Armstrong
#24. A person who doesn't learn from the past is an idiot, in my estimation.
Stephen King
#25. Gathered around me were the weak instead of the strong, the ugly instead of the beautiful, the losers instead of the winners. It looked like it was my destiny to travel in their company through life. That didn't bother me so much as the fact that I seemed irresistible to these dull idiot fellows.
Charles Bukowski
#26. My given name is James."
"James Moriarty."
...
"Really? Sherlock wishes to discuss odd names with me?"
"And a point to Miss Moriarty."
...
"You're an idiot. Truly.
Heather W. Petty
#27. I didn't realize until I locked the door to my apartment and leaned against it, panting that my cheeks were covered in frozen tears. I was such an idiot. And my heart hurt. Bad. Every beat sent an ache rocketing through my body. I was having a heart attack. Or, more likely, my heart had just broken.
Darynda Jones
#28. I'd have to be a complete idiot to leave this girl. An absolute moron. I buried my face in her hair, holding on to her for a long time, and then I kissed her cheek before letting go.
Julie Cross
#29. I don't even remember why I called myself an idiot. I can be very harshly critical of myself. It depends on my mood, and obviously it depends on where I am in my life. Yes, embracing myself - I'm working on that.
Madonna Ciccone
#30. He gave me a tight, triumphant smile and walked away.
My anger got the best of me. "You're an immature idiot!"
"I could give a fuck, Shortcake," he threw back at me. "And you started it.
Samantha Young
#31. I was described as a dreamer, a fantasist, even as the village idiot. I didn't care. What I cared about was convincing people to allow me to go on with my work.
Ada Yonath
#32. I'm not an idiot! I'm just twelve. I'm a twelve-year-old girl and neither of those facts are my fault.
Ally Carter
#33. I always just forced myself to do crazy things in public. In college I would push an overhead projector across campus with my pants just low enough to show my butt. Then my friend would incite the crowd to be like, 'Look at that idiot!' That's how I got over being shy.
Will Ferrell
#34. I make make music in my own time, messing around with beats and riffs I write. Always practicing performing in my room most times I probably look like an idiot dancing around haha.
Christina Grimmie
#35. The great thing about doing physical comedy for film is that if it doesn't work you're not exposed. It ends up on the editing room floor, so it gives you a lot more room to experiment I guess. But I really enjoy doing it. I'm very comfortable tapping into my inner idiot.
Isla Fisher
#36. A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don't bury our dead. When you think it's out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.
Billy Wilder
#37. Bleep!" I screamed to the wall in front of me. "Bleep, bleep, bleep !" I kicked the dumpster, then grabbed at my foot. Now I was dirty, my toes hurt, and I felt like an idiot.
Kiersten White
#38. I'm reasonably easygoing. Messing up my lines or making a fool of myself is where you find my fears. Like a lot of English people, I'm prey to embarrassment - the dread that everyone's sort of sniggering at you, that you're going to look like an idiot. I think that sort of halts us all.
Hugh Laurie
#39. My name's Darren. I'm a musician, part time idiot. That's a full time job actually.
Darren Criss
#40. God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That's flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character.
Robert McKee
#41. I post probably 5 to 10 times a day in my forum. I have a forum directly related to my blog where I will write my blog and people will disagree with me and call me an idiot so then I will say this is why I wrote that and blah, blah, blah. I spend a lot of time online.
Daniel Negreanu
#42. My father Time is weak and gray
With waiting for a better day;
See how idiot-like he stands,
Fumbling with his palsied hands!
Percy Bysshe Shelley
#43. Uh, puedo hablar con Andrew Nelson, por favor?" I asked, feeling like an idiot.
"Quien?"
"El americano," I explained. "Muy grande americano."
In trying to describe my father, I sounded like I was ordering coffee. But it worked.
Kate Klise
#44. My brother threw up his hands. "What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming, 'Do me, baby!'?" he shook his head. "Sometimes you're a frigging idiot.
Jim Butcher
#45. So, that's it? You think I'm just some idiot that fell for your bullshit! Well you're wrong! I fell in love with you, Caleb. I fell in love with your sick sense of humor. I fell in love with the way you protected me. You saved my life! - Livvie/Kitten
C.J. Roberts
#47. My feelings towards it can only be paralleled by that of a doting parent towards an idiot child.
Charlotte Bronte
#48. Those are some of the most powerful people in the world, and you swamped them in sewage! If you had real friends, they'd have told you that you're an idiot for even thinking about doing that!"
Tom bristled, indignant. "My friends do tell me I'm an idiot. All the time!
S.J. Kincaid
#49. One part of my brain, soaring on adrenaline, insisted I could take Cain, whatever the size difference. Another part wondered where the hell Nick and Clay were. The loudest part just shouted: Run, you idiot, run!
Kelley Armstrong
#50. I guess it could be seen as a form of rebellion, but (my dad) is pretty supportive. He's knows I'm just an idiot, so I think that softens it a little bit.
Daniel Tosh
#51. Without a response, I just stand there like an idiot. Like she just slapped my brain out of my skull and I can't think.
Rebecca A. Rogers
#52. I don't give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked. But I was happy in my way. You did not understand what I am. I am love. I am pleasure, I am essence, I am an idiot, I am an alcoholic, I am tenacious. I am; simply I am ... You are a shit.
Frida Kahlo
#53. It's my dough, my show, and I'm not going to pay someone to make me look like an idiot.
Meili Cady
#54. I hate when I'm an idiot and I don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, take pictures.
Catherine Clark
#55. I see teenagers or people who are 21 and think, 'I was an idiot at that age.' I was running around New York like a crazy woman. Thank God I only had three and a half cents to my name. I was too immature to handle success then.
Melissa McCarthy
#56. I could've fallen for someone steady. Dependable. Well-grounded. But nooo, I had to lose my head over this idiot.
Ilona Andrews
#57. I've had terrible, terrible, terrible shows where I just thought, "That was off-key" or I forgot lines or I thought I looked like an idiot, and then you're leaving and talking to people, and they're like, "I had the best time of my life! That was amazing!" You just never know.
Babatunde Adebimpe
#58. If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should.
Charles Dickens
#59. There is luck in chess. My opponent was lucky that he was playing against an idiot.
James M. Loy
#60. I cannot live a life where I'm deprived. I'd much rather be five, 10 pounds heavier. With my luck, I'll get myself to that perfect goal weight, and I'll get hit by a bus. Then I'll be like ... looking at myself from some afterlife going, 'You idiot. You could have had that agnolotti, dummy.'
Drew Barrymore
#61. I wish I had been less keen to inject my own opinions, but I was a teenager and your teenage self is generally an idiot compared to the adult you. That's the way it should be. If it's the other way around, you have a problem.
Emma Forrest
#62. I don't know if I'm particularly funny, I mean one of my legs is shorter than the other one, it makes everything look very awkward, so I can just pretty much look like an idiot, but I don't know whether I can be like witty. It could be a problem.
Robert Pattinson
#63. they just had big bones rather than stand up an' say - I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. 'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.' An' he was right. I've bin an idiot. I'm not botherin' with
J.K. Rowling
#64. Annabeth sat next to me, holding my nectar glass and dabbing a washcloth on my forehead. "Here we are again," I said. "You idiot," Annabeth said, which is how I knew she was overjoyed to see me conscious.
Rick Riordan
#65. "Kevin is nothing like Kellan," I explained.
"He looks like him."
"Is that all you're interested in?
"Of course you idiot."
I smiled and shook my head at her. "You're impossible."
"Not at all! I'm just shallow!
Chasta Schneider
#66. Which sort of shows why my body is an idiot, because forced narcolepsy is pretty much the worst defense ever.
Jenny Lawson
#67. When I started out in the duck-call business, my college buddies would come in and say, 'Robertson, you have a college degree. What are you doing?' Then they drove away saying, 'What an idiot!' Thirty-five years later, they're saying, 'The sucker's a genius!'
Si Robertson
#68. Hurt my fluffy bunny, will you? The following moments were a red-tinged blur as he took care of the humans who dared hurt his Miranda. The idiot with the flamethrower screamed the loudest when Chase yanked off his arm and beat him with it. When that stopped being fun, he tore out his throat.
Eve Langlais
#70. Last night was one of the best nights of my life."
"Sleeping in between the toilet an the tub on a cold, hard tile floor with a vomiting idiot was one of our best nights? That's sad, Trav.
Jamie McGuire
#71. If I'm going to follow a god, why would I want to follow a god of my creation? That would be an alcoholic idiot nitwit jerk god!
Willie Aames
#72. When I was younger, my parents used to say, "Trust us on this. We have more experience than you." And I was like, "Shut up, you don't know anything!" But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they'd experienced more things.
Chris Hardwick
#74. My life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury. It means nothing.
David Hewson
#75. People may feel that I am materialistic, ideal, idiot, cool, funny. Its not their perception but my projection and I always have my own reasons for my being.
Giridhar Alwar
#76. I go to dance clubs ... about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
#77. Ugh, I swear I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a spoon repeatedly than be nice to some idiot, which means pretty much anyone I come in contact with. Damn, I'd be stabbing my eye a lot.
Quinn Loftis
#78. My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Rodney Dangerfield
#79. Indeed I had not much wit, yet I was not an idiot - my wit was according to my years.
Margaret Cavendish
#80. I'd been acting in Chicago since I came back after University, and I got a call from my agent saying, 'They're doing this revival of 'On a Clear Day,' and I actually auditioned when the team came through Chicago for the 'American Idiot' tour.
Jessie Mueller
#81. My father liked me, when I wasna being an idiot. And he loved me, too
enough to beat the daylights out of me when I was being an idiot. Jamie Fraser
Diana Gabaldon
#82. In my 20s, I used to cry about why I wasn't thinner or prettier, but I want to add that I also used to cry about things like, 'I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish I had different shoes ... ' I was an idiot ... It's a decade of tears.
Melissa McCarthy
#83. I cannot approve of your method of operation, you proceed like a bewildered idiot, taking not the least notice of my orders.
Napoleon Bonaparte
#84. My father said that love at first sight should send you running, if you know what's good for you. It's your dark pieces having instant recognition with their dark pieces, he says. You're an idiot if you think it means you've met your soul mate. So I was an idiot.
Deb Caletti
#85. [My hair] creates this Tarzanesque, likeable bad-boy image. It says, 'I am a wild child. I will take you on a Harley ride, then make passionate love to you. And should you be attacked by a lion or an idiot at a bar, I will protect you.'
Bret Michaels
#86. Dear Diary:
I have a confession to make: I've become a total idiot over French pastries.
They're my new favorite food.
My new-found edible souvenir.
My new favorite sin.
Dunkin Donuts is so yesterday.
Kimberley Montpetit
#87. I think it's a great city. I think it's a fabulous city. But in my young juvenile days, I was an idiot, and I bought 30 cars. And I need to drive those cars, and New York isn't really the place you can do that.
Shaquille O'Neal
#88. I'd fallen hard. Like a stupid idiot, I'd gone and fallen in love with the guy that took my virginity and rocked my world. Damn it.
Jessica Clare
#89. People mean well; they just aren't here enough to get what we are dealing with or what home means to my mother. Everyone thinks they know what should be done, and their suggestions make me suspect they must consider me an idiot who doesn't comprehend the situation.
George Hodgman
#90. I glanced heavenward and asked for help to stop acting like a complete idiot around Niko. If this was how my ancestors responded to sexy men, it was a wonder we'd ever propagated.
Rebecca Chastain
#91. Luke and his timing tapped me on the shoulder. What was I going to say to the best friend I ever had? Too bad you're an idiot and broke up with her, it's my turn. No, that wouldn't go over well.
Shannon Dermott
#92. Men don't understand discretion. My goal is to survive on my weakest abilities. That saves other talents for when I really need them and doesn't reveal important skills to any idiot who might be watching.
Amanda Bouchet
#93. It's just ... You know. You drive me crazy. You've always driven me crazy."
I think my mind is now all over the floor.
"And you don't think it might have been a good idea to maybe tell me this? I've spent the last ten years pining for you like an idiot, you idiot.
Charlotte Stein
#94. I'm minding my own business, sir! How many people do you think actually do that by choice? Does it bother you? Of course it bothers you. A clear conscience is always supposed to bother a cripple-minded idiot like you
Ernest Hemingway,
#95. I was like, 'I want to start a blog to get my ideas out and keep my brain working so in five years I'm not an idiot.'
Katie Nolan
#96. To me, faith is about trusting my instinct when logic tells me I'm an idiot.
Gina Rosati
#97. You mean there's someone out there better than your father? (Quills) No, idiot. My father trained him. Just FYI, my father is also his godfather. So you want to be real nice to Dev. All of us take it personally when people aren't. (Adron)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#98. I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
Don Rickles
#99. Upon my word," thought Mrs. Fisher, "the way one pretty face can turn a delightful man into an idiot is past all patience.
Elizabeth Von Arnim
#100. I'm glad the universe is pointless. It means if I get to the end of my life, the universe can't turn to me and go, 'What have you been doing, you idiot? That's not the point!
Robin Ince
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