Top 100 Chris Hardwick Quotes
#1. Comic-Con is interesting because there's so much going on at once, it's literally impossible to do everything. You need clones and some sort of hoverboard so you can surf over the crowd of packed-in nerds.
Chris Hardwick
#2. A big company is like trying to steer a luxury liner.
Chris Hardwick
#3. The 'Hipster Nerds' like stuff because they hate it. It's like they ironically like it.
Chris Hardwick
#4. When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.
Chris Hardwick
#5. Any time you're lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it's a good thing.
Chris Hardwick
#6. The nerdist movement is less about consumers; there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.
Chris Hardwick
#7. I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then "norms."
Chris Hardwick
#8. Mainstream culture is like your mom: It's always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well.
Chris Hardwick
#9. I had a personal blog, but why does anyone care that I went shopping for hats?
Chris Hardwick
#10. If you're able to build from your falls you'll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add another piece of body armor to yourself. You learn what not to do, how to do better, and how to create comfort through practice.
Chris Hardwick
#11. My father was one of the greatest professional bowlers of all time. Seriously. Billy Hardwick: PBA Hall of Fame, Player of the Year in '63 and '69, and the first winner of the triple crown of bowling, among other things.
Chris Hardwick
#12. When I was in school, if you wanted a computer, you had to build one. But today, computers are everywhere. We're all obsessed with technology and having the latest gadgets. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.
Chris Hardwick
#13. I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don't care if anybody else gets it.
Chris Hardwick
#14. I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.
Chris Hardwick
#15. Traditionally nerd-based culture is now a big sector of pop culture.
Chris Hardwick
#16. The difference being that a nerd would wear a D&D shirt because he loves D&D while a hipster would wear a D&D shirt because it's ridiculous that he is wearing a D&D shirt.
Chris Hardwick
#17. If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.
Chris Hardwick
#18. You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.
Chris Hardwick
#19. I don't know if I'm a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it's more that I'm seriously involved. That it's a long-term relationship - like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.
Chris Hardwick
#20. It's so much easier to give advice than to take it.
Chris Hardwick
#21. For me personally, I have a fear of, 'If I stop, I'm going to die.' If I stop doing the things that are enriching to me or creatively exciting to me or if I stop creating, then I feel stagnant. If something isn't growing, it's dying.
Chris Hardwick
#22. by structuring it in your life as a musical diary or log, you can control your feelings and change them on a dime if you need to.
Chris Hardwick
#24. I'm not fun to bowl with. I take it way too seriously. I have high expectations for myself.
Chris Hardwick
#25. There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.
Chris Hardwick
#26. I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.
Chris Hardwick
#27. We are in niche consumption mode, but 'niche' doesn't mean 'small' anymore. Niche can mean focused, and particularly with the Web, which is a global audience ... you can have something niche and still get 10 to 15 million views.
Chris Hardwick
#28. Being constructively critical is good, as long as your purpose is to improve your methods for future endeavors. Lying in bed and replaying failures and telling yourself you're stupid is a tremendous disservice to your efforts and what you can offer the world.
Chris Hardwick
#29. Long ago you may have given up control of your brain and set it on autopilot either because it just felt like too much work. And it is work! But for me, this work was well worth it for the prospect of not waking up sad every day.
Chris Hardwick
#30. Are you a passenger on a ghost ship or are you the pilot?
Chris Hardwick
#31. You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.
Chris Hardwick
#33. Any nerd who grew up around the time that I did, BBC programming was a treasure chest for us.
Chris Hardwick
#34. The goal of almost every comic is to find a comedy voice - a specific point of view that an audience can latch onto.
Chris Hardwick
#35. If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.
Chris Hardwick
#36. I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.
Chris Hardwick
#37. Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.
Chris Hardwick
#38. Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You're paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.
Chris Hardwick
#39. When you look at your freelance career, it's really like a mall. And if you look at a mall, it's a self-contained system that has a flow and logic to it. You'll probably have one or two really bigger jobs, those are like your anchor stores.
Chris Hardwick
#40. When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.
Chris Hardwick
#41. Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.
Chris Hardwick
#42. I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.
Chris Hardwick
#43. No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.
Chris Hardwick
#44. I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.
Chris Hardwick
#45. Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?
Chris Hardwick
#46. There's something about shooting webs out of my wrists and climbing up things that just makes me happy.
Chris Hardwick
#47. I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.
Chris Hardwick
#48. I'm fascinated by people's process. Everyone's process is a little bit different, and just to see the different paths that people take to get where they are is really interesting to me.
Chris Hardwick
#49. There's no ironic appreciation of things we love, even of things that are in fact ridiculous, which a hipster might take and own and show the world the humor in it.
Chris Hardwick
#50. Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.
Chris Hardwick
#51. With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.
Chris Hardwick
#52. Twitter is really a hyper-distilled version of how the internet should work - short bursts of relatively useful information.
Chris Hardwick
#53. In the '90s, you couldn't say the word 'nerd' to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn't have listened.
Chris Hardwick
#54. The idea of the archetypal nerd is totally blurred these days. So many people of this current generation have grown up with technology and video games. It's just a part of the world now, a part of our shared culture.
Chris Hardwick
#55. Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.
Chris Hardwick
#56. No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who's ALWAYS had EVERYTHING work out for them with ZERO struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don't exist.
Chris Hardwick
#57. When you first start working, you take whatever job is offered, because you have to build your resume. But you don't think about what you're building.
Chris Hardwick
#58. Stand up straight. If you stand up straight, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and you will project a better image to the world, one that says you don't feel like you have to be hunched over and closed off.
Chris Hardwick
#59. When I was growing up, I was as socially outcast as any nerd could possibly be. I was in the chess club, I brought D&D stuff to school, I had every game system you could imagine, I spent countless hours at arcades, computer camp, loud presence in the Latin Club. All that stuff.
Chris Hardwick
#60. I honestly think hipsters eat with their assholes because they consume everything wrong.
Chris Hardwick
#61. I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.
Chris Hardwick
#62. We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s; we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.
Chris Hardwick
#63. You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.
Chris Hardwick
#64. Our mandate at Nerdist is that we only get involved with nice people around things that we love. We have the luxury of being in the demographic that we're programming for.
Chris Hardwick
#65. Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.
Chris Hardwick
#66. Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.
Chris Hardwick
#67. My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.
Chris Hardwick
#68. I think when I look out and I see there's so much negativity in the world and a lot of people are unhappy and a lot people are anxious, it just feels like that's one view of the world. But you don't have to always focus on that view of the world.
Chris Hardwick
#69. One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.
Chris Hardwick
#70. Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick
#71. Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.
Chris Hardwick
#72. The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.
Chris Hardwick
#73. I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.
Chris Hardwick
#74. If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.
Chris Hardwick
#75. I don't know if the podcast as a medium will ever have the cultural impact that TV and movies do. It may never be super-mainstream.
Chris Hardwick
#76. Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.
Chris Hardwick
#77. My best friend, Wil Wheaton, identifies himself as a geek.
Chris Hardwick
#78. The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.
Chris Hardwick
#79. I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.
Chris Hardwick
#80. Stand-up for me is usually a weekend thing. I go out of town and just do it.
Chris Hardwick
#81. Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.
Chris Hardwick
#82. Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy.
Chris Hardwick
#83. I've been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying.
Chris Hardwick
#84. I was very competitive growing up. I can't even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There's too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It's ruined the game for me.
Chris Hardwick
#85. The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.
Chris Hardwick
#86. I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.
Chris Hardwick
#87. When you don't take an aggressive role in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, you become a helpless passenger floating through the universe like a ghost ship, merely reacting to wherever it takes you.
Chris Hardwick
#88. Television and movies just take so long. If you pitch a show or develop a project, it can be a year before your show even gets on the air, if it gets picked up.
Chris Hardwick
#89. As a comedy nerd, I get a lot out of the podcast because I'm genuinely interested in the people I'm talking to.
Chris Hardwick
#90. I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you're isolated, so you have time.
Chris Hardwick
#91. I hate to say it, but because of humanity's capitalistic nature, money is important.
Chris Hardwick
#92. Comedy club audiences pay up to $25 per person and another fistful of cash to cover a two-drink minimum, so when they don't like something, they let you know - with silence.
Chris Hardwick
#94. What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.
Chris Hardwick
#95. As someone who's very nerd-minded, whenever I see a lot of cross-platform stuff when I get bonus material on either side, then it makes me want to dive deeper, sort of like tearing apart the different pieces of the pie.
Chris Hardwick
#96. Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
Chris Hardwick
#97. Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.
Chris Hardwick
#98. I've always had a fondness for that satirical, Terry Gilliam - esque evil corporate megastructure, the kind of business that hangs banners that say making your life better as it throws kittens into the gears.
Chris Hardwick
#99. If you have laser-like brain it's not always focused on the most productive things. If you want to play Halo: Reach all day, that's fine, but if you want to accomplish some other things, here are some ways to do that using your innate nerd gifts.
Chris Hardwick
#100. While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
Chris Hardwick
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