Andrea Portes Quotes

#1. To be honest, she may be kind of scared of the register. Or maybe she can't add. She is a Christian. I don't think they believe in math.

Andrea Portes

#2. I do what he says and I close my eyes and open my mouth and the next thing I know he's got his twenty-eight-year-old tongue in my thirteen-year-old mouth and all I can think is that I don't think the hero is supposed to be doing this.

Andrea Portes

#3. I mean it's like trying to decide between James Dean and Elvis. Seriously, who could make that choice?

Andrea Portes

#4. I look like vanilla pudding so nobody knows that on the inside I am spider soup.

Andrea Portes

#5. Let's just call it like it is, no need to pretty it up. I care what other people think of me. I'm not Jesus Christ. I'm just a girl in the world.

Andrea Portes

#6. I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

Andrea Portes

#7. It's one of those dumb days where nothing's really wrong but nothing's really right either and the sky can't even choose to be white or gray.

Andrea Portes

#8. If you turned a Labrador into a person you would make Brad Kline. He's happy and gushy and about as interesting and complex as a tree stump.

Andrea Portes

#9. I cared what everybody thought more than what I thought. Or more than my heart thought. And that makes me an idiot.

Andrea Portes

#10. I don't know how to act around anybody.

Andrea Portes

#11. Okay, listen, I don't know what dumb lines you are used to giving girls so they fall all over you but I just want you to know that I wasn't born yesterday so I am gonna go now and leave you to whatever dumb idiot girl is gonna buy that line.

Andrea Portes

#12. I miss my room. I miss my bed. I miss being a little punk with no care in the world, giving two fucks about it, just looking for trouble. I guess I found it.

Andrea Portes

#13. Jesus. I do not wanna be called a vampire n-word.

Andrea Portes

#14. We tried to be all of the things ... we are not.

Andrea Portes

#15. Whenever I feel like this, I am gentle with myself, pretend like I'm someone else, someone good. I walk on eggshells around myself, like I'm some fragile piece of porcelain you have to place quietly, deliberately back on the shelf.

Andrea Portes

#16. I know a lot of people think that whole God thing is a joke but I just get a feeling he's up there somewhere.

Andrea Portes

#17. You could waste your whole life worrying, you know that?

Andrea Portes

#18. My age makes him nervous and shamey, cause his eyes keep heading southwards and then back up, guilty. I can tell I can make his eyes swirl and that's just about all I want to do.

Andrea Portes

#19. I know they say that's the way the cookie crumbles and all. But you can't help but wonder why there's any cookie-crumbling going on in the first place.

Andrea Portes

#20. Just so you know. I fucking loved you. I fucking loved the daylights out of you.

Andrea Portes

#21. It doesn't say: "Logan's kid brothers looked like little angels in Star Wars pajamas and that fucking fuckface tried to shoot them dead, and what's the point in God, or anything in the universe after that?"
It doesn't say: "God. Where the fuck were you last night?

Andrea Portes

#22. Pedaling fast fast fast, this is the moment. One of those movie moments you never think is gonna happen to you, but it happens to you, and now it's here.

Andrea Portes

#23. Ceaseless.
Almost too much for this small frame.
You make me part of the sky.

Andrea Portes

#24. And when I have that feeling, that feeling like I need a handout, desperate, I want to pull my skin off and turn into dust.I want to throw myself back to the angels and tell them to start over,start over without me cause you put the screws in loose, you put the hinges in wrong.

Andrea Portes

#25. You look cute in your little uniform." [Jared]

Did he read my mind or something?

"Yeah? You don't think I look like an Easter egg?"

"No. I think you look like I should be asking you to marry me."

CRASH!

Andrea Portes

#26. You know why you keep losing, 'cause, guess what, you're a fucking loser.

Andrea Portes

#27. I bet she thought she was getting into a fight with a vanilla wafer on roller skates but little did she know she was getting into a fight with a spider sandwich.

Andrea Portes

#28. But if I can keep my mind on these pages I don't have to care. I can make this all just go away. Poof. I can stay in this book and then this book gets to be real and everything else gets to be fake and who cares anyway.

Andrea Portes

#29. We're both whisper-screaming at each other. All I can think is this is the worst possible way to break up with somebody.

Andrea Portes

#30. I can't help but wonder...if it's such a big deal for a middle-aged white guy to feel important...What happens when he doesn't?

Andrea Portes

#31. I look out past the corn and the wheat and wonder how many sets of bones are buried, unspoken, keeping their stories to themselves in the dirt. I wonder if they know the sky is bright blue today and the air smells sweet. I wonder if they still listen in.

Andrea Portes