Top 100 Idiot Quotes
#1. 'Can you tell me,' Willim said, the heat in his face unwilling to subside, 'just when I lost my mind? Was it recent, or have I always been an idiot?'
L.S. Baird
#2. For some idiot reason, the idea of going into the drink with a misspelled safety device weirded Bryce out.
Harry Turtledove
#3. I'm minding my own business, sir! How many people do you think actually do that by choice? Does it bother you? Of course it bothers you. A clear conscience is always supposed to bother a cripple-minded idiot like you
Ernest Hemingway,
#4. I got on a Dostoyevsky kick right after college. I started with 'Crime and Punishment,' went on to 'The Possessed' and then 'The Brothers Karamazov' and 'The Idiot.'
Charlie Trotter
#5. Why'd he pull you over, Duane?" This question came from Billy.
"He's an idiot. He said my tail light was out."
"Is your tail light out?"
"Yes. But he's still an idiot.
Penny Reid
#6. You're a fool, a damn fool, an awful fool, an idiot, an awful idiot, a damn idiot, and a fool, a damn fool
Ray Bradbury
#7. There is no refutation of Darwinian evolution in existence. If a refutation ever were to come about, it would come from a scientist, and not an idiot.
Richard Dawkins
#8. Yew? Not roight in the 'ead? Jus' let me tell yew somefink yew cockeyed idiot. Oi moight call yew daft sometimes, but that don't mean yew're crazy. If'n yew're not roight in the head, then Oi'm Mussolini's fairy godmother.
Peter St. John
#9. On top of all that, look at this guy? I mean he's a idiot, he's 7 feet of pure idiot. You put his brain in a parakeet ... zing! It'll fly backwards.
Dwayne Johnson
#10. A man doesn't choose to be an idiot, but he does choose to be loyal.
Robert Jordan
#11. Life's too short to spend time trying to explain the obvious to an idiot.
Gloria Naylor
#12. Technique! The very word is like a shriek of outraged Art. It is the idiot name given to effort by those who are too weak, too weary, or too dull to play the game. The mighty have no theory of technique.
Leonard Bacon
#13. Menoeceus wants his father. (Astrid)
Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right, Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you from Mommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. (Zarek)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#14. I am not an idiot. It's just that sometimes there are things that I don't want to know.
Alice Hoffman
#15. Daddy loved his son. Daddy believed his son walked on water. Daddy, Mike had long ago decided, was an idiot.
Nicholas Sparks
#16. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Bob Smith
#17. What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
Patton Oswalt
#18. How could they think Noel was hot? If this was REALLY Versailles, Noel SO would not be Louis XIV, he would be the French version of the village idiot
Sara Shepard
#19. Forget grief. Only an idiot has no grief, and only a fool would forget it. What else is there in this world sharp enough to stick to your guts?
William Faulkner
#20. His idiot face gets redder and his eyes bulge and his ears block. I'd say his mind stops functioning, but I lack the proof of any other state from which it might stop." Bronowski
Isaac Asimov
#21. By dint of railing at idiots, one runs the risk of becoming an idiot oneself.
Gustave Flaubert
#22. If the law supposes that,' said Mr Bumble ... ' the law is an ass - an idiot.
Charles Dickens
#23. When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
Mark Twain
#24. Day 1
Still tired from the move. Day 2
Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
#25. People need to focus on bigger issues instead of whether George Bush is an idiot or not.
Colin Greenwood
#26. Crushes are more beautiful than affairs because there is no responsibility, no worry, no commitment. Just look at your crush and smile like an idiot.
Srinivas Shenoy
#27. Madoc cleared his throat. "Dr. Porter. Nate and Piper bumped into each other."
Oh, my god. I was convinced. Madoc was an idiot.
Penelope Douglas
#28. Motivation alone is not enough.if you have an idiot and you motivate him,now you have a motivated idiot.
Jim Rohn
#29. I don't get embarrassed by the same things that other people do. I would say that probably the biggest thing that holds people back is, 'If I do this, I'm going to look like an idiot if it doesn't work out.'
Scott Adams
#30. Who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn't know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
#31. I learned early on - I can go to a shoot, and they will put anything they want to put on me, and I'll look like an idiot because I didn't say I don't like it. It's OK to have an opinion.
Zoe Kravitz
#32. One or two years ago, I didn't know who I was on court and I used to swear a lot. But now I've learned how to cope and can therefore win 10 matches in a row. I want to be remembered as a good player rather than an idiot on court.
Roger Federer
#33. In the startup world, you're either a genius or an idiot. You're never just an ordinary guy trying to get through the day.
Marc Andreessen
#34. Coppers were always outnumbered, so being a copper only worked when people let it work. If they refocused and realized you were just another standard idiot with a pennyworth of metal for a badge, you could end up as a smear on the pavement.
Terry Pratchett
#35. Gene snapped at Peter: "Peter, you're an illiterate idiot who can't read or even talk correctly and never finished school." "Yeah," said Peter, "and I'm in the same band as you.
Paul Stanley
#36. Of course, if Charles found out his father was out here, too, the damn fool would probably head right back into the maw of danger; he was that kind of heroic idiot.
Patricia Briggs
#37. I was like, 'I want to start a blog to get my ideas out and keep my brain working so in five years I'm not an idiot.'
Katie Nolan
#38. I have this idiot name tag which says 'controversial.'
Maurice Sendak
#39. Don't be an idiot," Terric said. "You were unconscious less than ten minutes ago."
"And you were a dick. One of us got better.
Devon Monk
#40. I get the feeling," Alec said, and smiled, "she hasn't forgiven me for betraying you, as she sees it."
"Good girl," said Jace with appreciation.
"I didn't betray you, idiot."
"It's the thought that counts.
Cassandra Clare
#41. I'm tickling a traced pattern over her bare hip. She's pretending to sleep. Her smile is an idiot. A bad secret keeper.
Pella Grace
#43. What sad, short lives humans live! Each life a short pamphlet written by an idiot! Tut-tut, and all that.
Stephen King
#44. Should a person be punished for showing no consideration towards an idiot behaving like an idiot?
Jo Nesbo
#45. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." Papa's hands tightened on the splintery wood. "I'm an idiot."
No, Papa.
You're just a man.
Markus Zusak
#46. For me, the biggest idiot will always be John Terry,
Rio Ferdinand
#47. I remember that just as I was about to cross the border they asked me what I had to declare and, like an idiot, I answered: I want to declare that I am a traitor to the human race.
Henry Miller
#49. One word," he breathed into her ear, so low no one would be able to hear. "One word from your idiot mouth and next time I'll finish the job, I swear t'God." He nuzzled, his lips seemingly caressing her outer ear. "Understand?
Karen Rose
#50. I am not an idiot, and I'm not a Pollyanna sort of kumbaya type.
Dan Savage
#51. The man that isn't jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking.
Euripides
#52. ... I would submit that if you think the only people you should have in your country are the people you produce yourselves, you are an idiot.
Bill Bryson
#53. I know I'm not a self-indulgent idiot; I also know I'm not the second coming of Deepak Chopra. If I had believed either of those, or both, as some people do when they get famous, that's when the mental illness arrives.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#54. I kiss his forehead. "You are a wimpy idiot. But ... I still love you."
"I love you too, Woods.
Miranda Kenneally
#55. Why didn't I go in? I'm such a chicken. I'm such an idiot. I should have kissed her. I've blown it. I should just go and knock on her door and just kiss her. It would be romantic. It would be something we could someday tell our kids. I'm gonna do that right now.
[drives away]
Charlie Kaufman
#56. But please refrain from torturing me with your asinine male chauvinistic ramblings first. Having tits doesn't negate having a fucking brain, you idiot.
Jessica Gadziala
#58. A romantic, I think the word is. Latin for idiot.
Tom Holt
#59. An ancient tradition declares that every idiot blunder we pass into law will sooner or later redound to Athens' profit.
Aristophanes
#60. You love me?"
"Of course I do." My shoulders dropped. "I knew it the day I wanted to punch that idiot's face when he had his hands all over you.
Brenda Pandos
#61. Matrilineal succession is the only thing that makes sense as far as I'm concerned, since you always know who the mother is, and the father could be anyone. Most of the royal dynasties of the world didn't agree with me though, which is why history is filled with idiot kings.
April White
#62. The stubborn fool is walking now, and even challenged Robin to a sparring match this afternoon. I stopped them, of course, though Robin was only too happy to fight him, the idiot.
Julie Kagawa
#63. I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.
Will Ferrell
#65. Politics is a country idiot capable of concentrating on only one thing at a time.
Robert Harris
#66. Not that I am cheering for him or anything, but if he can't see how amazing you are, he's an idiot.
-Aspen
Kiera Cass
#67. If you believe that when the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, then you believe that creating wealth causes poverty, and you're an idiot,
Michael Medved
#68. She sat down next to him, took one of his cigarettes, listened to his apologies. He was distraught, of course: he was just the kind of idiot who could only understand what things meant by doing them first.
Nick Hornby
#69. Trying to be good enough to earn heaven is like trying to jump to Hawaii from the coast of California. Everyone looks like an idiot, some drown, some get three feet, some get ten feet, but no one even gets close to Hawaii.
Jefferson Bethke
#70. A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y'all catch all them fish? Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign.
Bill Engvall
#71. He wondered how it could have taken him so long to realize he cared for her, and he told her so, and she called him an idiot, and he declared that it was the finest thing that ever a man had been called.
Neil Gaiman
#72. I am stupid" Hans Hubermann told his foster daughter " And kind, which makes me the biggest idiot in the world.
Markus Zusak
#73. We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody.
Alonzo Bodden
#74. If the birth of a genius resembles that of an idiot, the end of a Havana Corona resembles that of a 5-cent cigar.
Sacha Guitry
#75. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
#76. A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
Demetri Martin
#77. Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth. You're an idiot babe, it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.
Bob Dylan
#78. You're an idealist, and I pity you as I would the village idiot.
Stanley Kubrick
#79. Whoever said exercise makes you feel great is a raging idiot. I don't feel great. I feel like throwing up.
Gayla Drummond
#80. My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?
Rodney Dangerfield
#81. To me, faith is about trusting my instinct when logic tells me I'm an idiot.
Gina Rosati
#83. What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth
Brandon Mull
#84. You mean there's someone out there better than your father? (Quills) No, idiot. My father trained him. Just FYI, my father is also his godfather. So you want to be real nice to Dev. All of us take it personally when people aren't. (Adron)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#85. Idiot."
"That fact is well established and adds nothing to the plot.
Leigh Bardugo
#86. All magic is 'Here's a quarter, now it's gone. You're a jerk. Now it's back. You're an idiot. Show's over.'
Jerry Seinfeld
#87. You're screening your calls?"
"Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots."
"Is that an insult?" His voice dropped into a deep growl.
"You're not an idiot," I told him. "You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.( ... )
Ilona Andrews
#88. Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.
Abe Lemons
#89. I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
Don Rickles
#90. Upon my word," thought Mrs. Fisher, "the way one pretty face can turn a delightful man into an idiot is past all patience.
Elizabeth Von Arnim
#91. Things which any idiot could write usually have the quality of having been written by an idiot.
Bram Cohen
#92. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a
blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving
obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
Henry Rollins
#93. Look, I was an idiot. I didn't want people to think that I had a crush, so I decided to give everyone the impression that I truly, honestly hated Madison Harter. For no reason. Just thinking about this makes me want to punch myself in the eyeball.
Jesse Andrews
#94. The artist is a god, but he is also an idiot. That is the human way.
Eric Maisel
#95. The idiot child they've placed on the throne does not impress with his acumen.
Charles Stross
#96. I've been an idiot."
"That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me".
J.L. Merrow
#97. I run through the woods, at once applauding myself for my wit-"
"Well deserved, sir. Well deserved."
"And at the self instant, I am grinding my teeth because I am a vain, revenging idiot and shall be run down because of it.
M T Anderson
#98. Reducing intelligence to the statistical analysis of large data sets "can lead us," says Levesque, "to systems with very impressive performance that are nonetheless idiot-savants.
Nicholas Carr
#99. Graymark," he said. "What a nice surprise." Luke stood up. "If you're surprised, you're an idiot," he said. "I didn't exactly arrive quietly.
Cassandra Clare
#100. Our conventional response to all media, namely that it is how they are used that counts, is the numb stance of the technological idiot," he wrote. The content of the medium is just "the juicy piece of meat carried by the burglar to distract the watchdog of the mind." P 4
Nicholas Carr
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