Top 100 Happy Humor Quotes
#1. Welhewan is charming us,' Sasha says in an unsure voice. 'It is trying to soothe us with its lullaby. Do not let yourself . . . Oh, a butterfly. Look how beautiful it is! No, don't look. The forest is making us happy, and we cannot let it.
Sarah Dalton
#2. Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
Adam Ferrara
#3. Earth is sad, Moon is shy, Sun is happy but wait a moment, I just forgot to tell you that I am the child of open sky.
Santosh Kalwar
#4. The French always make our sort happy because, like us, they know how to love, they're just as good at playing the accordion, and they've made a real art of their inability to bake proper bread.
Sasa Stanisic
#5. All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, and when it comes to the Holiday Season, happy families can abruptly become unhappy and unhappy families can, to their great alarm, be happy
Marisha Pessl
#6. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
#7. Choose life, choose to be happy and make somebody smile.
Ray S. Jones
#8. In You Are Not Dead Wendy Xu breaks all the old rules that have never done us any favors anyway. She writes beautifully, noticing who we are, and letting us see ourselves with a little more humanity, a little more humor, a little more humility. I'm happy to have read this book.
James Tate
#9. No " Grandlibby replied. "Hail comes from hell. The devil sent it because he's happy that you're reading evil garbage.
Jenny Lawson
#10. People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.
Circular Letter to My Friends in Italy
Mikhail Bakunin
#11. Be happy, be fun, let your hair down and be AGELESS!
Margo Vader
#12. If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
Lemony Snicket
#13. My mother is convinced that yellow is a happy color and that a happy girl would get a husband.
-Penelope Featherington
Julia Quinn
#14. Give a man a beer, the remote and a La-Z-Boy and he's a happy camper! All Things Caveman humor cartoon book will help you understand that hairy guy beside you.
Laurie Foxx
#15. That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.
Kasey Collin P. Dumdum
#16. Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty.
He could picture himself a very happy man at that table.
"Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies.
Julia Quinn
#17. I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Dave Barry
#18. One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor.
Marshall McLuhan
#19. I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!
Sharon Swan
#20. Money doesn't make you happy... but it sure doesn't make you said either!" - Nate Temple
Shayne Silvers
#23. When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
Nora Ephron
#24. Shep claimed eating cake like that so early in the morning was a 'whore's breakfast.' The rest of them didn't care. They were happy little whores who didn't worry about saving a morsel.
Rebecca Wells
#25. Having a great intellect is no path to being happy.
Stephen Fry
#26. Happy endings are for people that can't survive the alternative. What a bunch of wimps.
S.L.J. Shortt
#27. {Summertime she speaks of winter, she eats ham, but speaks of beef, got a good man but, flirts with another. She might as well go to hell, cause she ain't gonna be happy in heaven either!}
Nancy B. Brewer
#28. Happiness is not giddiness or some overly inflated sense of being.
Asa Don Brown
#29. She sighs, and then gives me this look. It's new and I don't like it. Sort of, Two roads diverged in a wood, mine is normal, but I hope you can be happy for me even though you are Miss Havisham.
Anna Breslaw
#30. He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though ... keep up with my news ... check if I'm happy ...
J.K. Rowling
#31. I can only make one person happy each day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look good, either.
- Frank the 70 year old secretary, chapter 9
Philip Gulley
#32. All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy.
Drew Fuller
#33. Taking me out to robberies, bar fights, and wraith houses isn't enough for you anymore? I though we were happy."
"Only the best for you, my lady.
Jodi Meadows
#34. Ninth graders with machine guns: its hard to make that a happy story.
Michael Grant
#35. I am very flattered. I have also become a verb as in "I have cumberbatched the UK audience" apparently. Who knows, by the end of the year I might become a swear word too! It's crazy and fun and very flattering.
Benedict Cumberbatch
#36. It's important I surround myself with people who make me happy.
Adam Sandler
#37. He'd better make you happy or I'll break his face.
Evelyn Smith
#38. Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.
Robin Williams
#39. I'm so sorry, I forget to introduce m'self. Cleo, shat for Cleopaitra, cause m' daddy always said I look like an Egyptian princess. And ya are?"
"Not as happy to meet you," he said.
Elle Klass
#40. She is happy, for she knows
That her dust is very pretty
Dorothy Parker
#41. As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes. You're all happy at first, but then by the end, you're sick of 'em.
Mitch Hedberg
#42. I was sweating like Christy Moore at a Feis Ceol, so badly, in fact, I looked like I was sporting a finger moustache as I attempted to rescue suicidal perspiration drops from my upper lip. Classy.
Annmarie O'Connor
#43. Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression.
"Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing.
Cassandra Clare
#44. Life is mean! Don't lose your humour jacket. You'll really need it.
Nike Thaddeus
#45. The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor, because marriage throws you curveballs. It is not easy.
Ann Romney
#46. In the end we are almost never happy or unhappy because of what happens to us; we are one or the other depending on the humor that flows inside us
Paolo Giordano
#47. No matter what you feel is holding you back in life, you can attempt anything.
Repeat that motivational cup sentence until it gets in your gut and doesn't sound like something stupid on a Hallmark card, because it is the basis for anything that will make you happy in this world.
Felicia Day
#48. It's not the job of the child to make the parent happy. It's the job of the parent to take care of their own happiness.
Art Hochberg
#49. Charlene says:I heard I'm being moved to Jumping for Joy farm. That sounds like a happy place to be. I'll learn a lot about jumping. Maybe it's different than jumping up and down like I do when I'm having a tantrum.
Deanie Humphrys-Dunne
#50. You again," she said, and she did not sound happy.
"I know," the warrior replied with a heartfelt sigh. "You're so lucky to see me twice in one day. You're honored by my presence, yada, yada, heard it all before. Let's just move on, shall we. I don't handle fawning very well.
Gena Showalter
#51. Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison ... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Bill Watterson
#52. One: Don't play leapfrog with elephants.
Two: Don't pet a tiger unless his tail is wagging.
Three: Never, ever, mess with the Ladies Auxiliary.
-Mayberry Rules for a Long, Happy Life
Lauren Myracle
#53. Two steps forward ... one step back ... I've always hated that old cliche too ... I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Isabelle Rowan
#54. I don't want to be stinky poo-poo girl, I want to be happy flower child.
Drew Barrymore
#55. Now Bobby was sitting behind the reception desk in a peach-colored orderly's uniform, and he didn't look so tough. He also didn't look all that happy to see me. Probably didn't help that his laminated nametag said BOOBY.
Kami Garcia
#56. There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
Doug Larson
#57. If we'd done this my way,' Garrett went on, 'We'd have been here much earlier.'
'And drunk, most likely,' said Maiev.
'You say "drunk," I say "happy",' Garrett shrugged.
Grant Smuts
#58. I had concocted the gunpowder myself from niter, sulfur, charcoal, and a happy heart. When working with explosives, I've found that attitude is everything.
Alan Bradley
#59. It has been observed
that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of
others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that
the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
Ambrose Bierce
#60. And then I realized that my sister was trying to LIVE a romance novel.
Man, that takes courage and imagination. Well, it also took some degree of mental illness, too, but I was suddenly happy for her.
And a little scared. Well, a lot scared.
Sherman Alexie
#62. I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways.
Lucille Ball
#63. You girls need to work on your fucking happy noises," Ryke says angrily. "They shouldn't sound like someone is being assaulted.
Krista Ritchie
#64. What's wrong with you? I asked myself. You are a happy person. You are an upbeat sort of person. Men smile at you on the subway, women ask you what shampoo you use. Cheer up for Christ's sake, I told myself, relax, you're fine, be happy, Girl. When I talk to myself I call myself Girl.
Jennifer Belle
#65. It was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the longest, most tortuous, and arousing death in the history of the world.
Cora Carmack
#66. You play with your toys and your money and all your fine things, and you forget. You forget and that's why you're happy.
Anne Rice
#67. There is always something to chuckle about. Sometimes we see it. Sometimes ... we don't. Still, the world is filled with humor. It is there when we are happy and it is there to cheer us up when we are not.
Allen Klein
#68. Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
Terry Pratchett
#69. Tip #4
Skinny-dip at will!
(Idea)
When single boast about finding your inner most happy place and hold on to it Odds are once married you can kiss personal space Good-Bye.
Hazel Cartwright
#70. He is in heaven now, and happy; or if not there, he bides in hell and is content; for in that place he will find neither abbot nor yet bishop.
Mark Twain
#71. Violet Lynn Parker, you'd better spill or I'll start bellowing 'Happy Birthday' to you in my Bobcat Goldthwait voice.
Ann Charles
#72. For every ten vampires who are happy being monsters, there's always one sad-sack who misses the sunrise.
Tori Centanni
#73. Oh my God, you are making my girlie parts happy
Toni Aleo
#74. Mrs. Friedman lived in a happy snow globe of AP History.
Harlan Coben
#75. I do believe you would be perfectly happy shut up in your study with your rolls of manuscript all your life, without seeing another human being save a servant to bring you in bread and fruit and water twice a day.
G.A. Henty
#76. I'd rather be single, happy, and lonely sometimes than married, lonely, and happy sometimes.
Mark Fiore
#77. One of these days I'm gonna beat him in the face with the butt of my service revolver until an eyeball pops out. These are the thoughts that keep me happy.
John Layman
#78. Someone asked me when is my birthday?
The poet inside me replied,
My birthday is on the last day of the year,
It's 31st December my dear!
Anamika Mishra
#79. Eventually I would set him straight, but until then, at least for another few seconds, I wanted to stay in this happy place. So loved and protected. So fulfilled.
David Sedaris
#80. Jesus."
"I thought you were Jewish."
He pressed his lips together for a second before looking at me. "Fine. I'll say Moses. Or Abraham. Happy?"
"I doubt Jesus is.
M. Kane
#81. I really am happy for Kiley. And for you and every other happily married lady. Except for that I'm not happy for you. I kind of want you all to drop dead.
Rainbow Rowell
#82. May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch
Keisha Keenleyside
#83. How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Carroll Bryant
#84. In happy operating procedure, the breathing is like fresh air through the body. In unkind operating procedure, the fresh air is gone sad."
Fresh air gone sad is a beautiful way to describe the death process.
Eric Garcia
#85. I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
Denis Leary
#86. You cannot achieve happiness. Happiness happens and is a transitory stage. Imagine how happy I felt when I got relief from bladder pressure. How long did that happiness last?
Frederick Salomon Perls
#87. I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.
Auliq Ice
#88. This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.
Terry Pratchett
#89. I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
Steve Martin
#90. AK 47, is perfect copy, yes? Every detail. Like real thing. Yes. Kalashnikov. Your boy, he be happy for Uncle Sante, no?"
"I'm sorry, Sante. It's really nice of you, but I don't want Sofus playing with guns."
Conversation between George Hanson and Sante
In The Shadow of Sadd
Steen Langstrup
#91. With an unseen inner-smile, the beetle carried on its journey, rolling manure. It had decided that stones were not to its liking. It was happy in its life and its life, quite literally, was a lump of shit.
Stephen Craig
#92. Tension fled from me. Tomorrow I would worry about Hugh d'Ambray and Andrea and
Roland, but now I was simply happy. Aaahh. Home. My place, my smells, my familiar rug under my feet, my kitchen, my Curran in the kitchen chair ... Wait a damn minute.
You!
Ilona Andrews
#93. And just as I thought that my happy ending was beginning, it had to end so soon even though it hadn't started yet.
Kristine Cuevas
#95. Ed said, "I can tell you, when we heard that baby was going to be all right, there wasn't a dry seat in the castle."
"I'm so happy to hear that," Marigold sold. "I think.
Jean Ferris
#96. Find your happy faces, Gentlefucker Bastards, it's a bright new day and we get to start it EARLY!
Scott Lynch
#97. No matter where life takes me, you'll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It's got me cheesing from cheek to cheek!
Mac Miller
#98. The hotel is not happy with me breaking a 2000-dollar TV. For a second I feel like a rock star, but that's just a second because then I feel like a psycho again.
Jonas Eriksson
#99. Rachel got up and did this happy little shuffle, like she was some cheerful farmer chick who'd just stepped outside to find the hick she was in love with coming up the road with a calf under his arm or whatever.
Why was she dancing? No reason.
Just alive, I guess.
George Saunders
#100. It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?
Jane Austen
