S.L.J. Shortt Quotes

#1. So that's why vampires are so pissed off all the time? Because their junk's gone rusty?

S.L.J. Shortt

#2. We're on a tight leash. We gotta do things by the book so no shooting yourself or trying to blow me up this time."
"I thought we agreed that we weren't gonna talk about that anymore.

S.L.J. Shortt

#3. You know, I've been almost kidnapped and killed more times in the last thirty-six hours than anyone in history, and yet here I am trying to help you work through your personal issues and that Claire ... that is why I always get the last cookie,

S.L.J. Shortt

#4. Twenty highly trained agents versus one eighteen year old high school drop out and he managed to kick all your asses. Okay, did we get really bad at this over night or is this kid really that good?!

S.L.J. Shortt

#5. We're not immortal, we just haven't died yet.

S.L.J. Shortt

#6. You just kissed me! Why isn't your face melting off?

S.L.J. Shortt

#7. Boy, you are outta line!" Joe yelled.
"I'm outta line?! You're screwing a vampire!"
"You hypocritical little bastard!"
"Yeah, you're a hypocripical-hypocri-hyp-hyp-hyp, I HATE THAT WORD!

S.L.J. Shortt

#8. You threw a bomb at me Jerry...frowny face.

S.L.J. Shortt

#9. Freakin' fairies, you're too damn small!"
"Dude, you're a faecist."
"A what?"
"A fae-racist, you're a faecist."
"That's not even a real word!"
"Patten pending,

S.L.J. Shortt

#10. I'll tell you what isn't; why'd they only go for you? I mean me and Steve might as well have not even been there. They just wanted you.
Well, can you blame them? I mean, everyone wants a piece of this sweet ass.

S.L.J. Shortt

#11. You're a chain-smoking, alcoholic hyper-violent sociopath with daddy issues!"
"When you say it like that it sounds bad ...

S.L.J. Shortt

#12. Yeah, well, Tinkerbell comes near me; she's gettin' both barrels and no clapping!

S.L.J. Shortt

#13. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! You tried to blow up your guardian angel?!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time ...

S.L.J. Shortt

#14. My car has wyvern giblets on the inside and fairy douche on the outside, I deserve the big shower!

S.L.J. Shortt

#15. Cass, I know you're only trying to help but I will stab you in your face.

S.L.J. Shortt

#16. Well, what do you want me to do? Head butt my way through a few inches of steel?!" she snarled.
"Well, that would certainly earn you a cookie!

S.L.J. Shortt

#17. Apart from my mangled face and the thirty percent scar tissue that covers my body I'm gorgeous!

S.L.J. Shortt

#18. God picked me to be his punching bag ... so who am I suposed to pray to for mercy?

S.L.J. Shortt

#19. Happy endings are for people that can't survive the alternative. What a bunch of wimps.

S.L.J. Shortt

#20. You know, one of the tiny little perks that comes from having no parents is that you never have to worry about walking in on them ... you just took that away from me!

S.L.J. Shortt