Doug Larson Quotes

#1. In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Doug Larson

#2. If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur

Doug Larson

#3. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Doug Larson

#4. A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.

Doug Larson

#5. Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Doug Larson

#6. Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Doug Larson

#7. People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

Doug Larson

#8. Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

Doug Larson

#9. Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.

Doug Larson

#10. The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

Doug Larson

#11. A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson

#12. Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.

Doug Larson

#13. There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

Doug Larson

#14. Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

Doug Larson

#15. They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.

Doug Larson

#16. It's a wise person who knows the difference between free speech and cheap talk.

Doug Larson

#17. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Doug Larson

#18. The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

Doug Larson

#19. Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

Doug Larson

#20. The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Doug Larson

#21. Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

Doug Larson

#22. There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.

Doug Larson

#23. A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

Doug Larson

#24. If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

Doug Larson

#25. The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.

Doug Larson

#26. Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.

Doug Larson

#27. The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime.

Doug Larson

#28. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Doug Larson

#29. Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

Doug Larson

#30. What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.

Doug Larson

#31. For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

Doug Larson

#32. A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.

Doug Larson

#33. Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

Doug Larson

#34. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend

Doug Larson

#35. Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

Doug Larson

#36. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

Doug Larson

#37. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

Doug Larson

#38. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Doug Larson

#39. It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them.

Doug Larson

#40. The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

Doug Larson

#41. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

Doug Larson

#42. The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

Doug Larson

#43. The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.

Doug Larson

#44. The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

Doug Larson

#45. To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

Doug Larson

#46. Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Doug Larson

#47. Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.

Doug Larson

#48. Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

Doug Larson

#49. The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

Doug Larson

#50. An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

Doug Larson

#51. Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

Doug Larson

#52. One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Doug Larson

#53. Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment.

Doug Larson

#54. More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Doug Larson

#55. Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.

Doug Larson

#56. A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except to be able to grow in rows

Doug Larson

#57. A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Doug Larson

#58. Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

Doug Larson

#59. Law of Airlines: The shorter the time between flights, the greater the distance between gates.

Doug Larson

#60. Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Doug Larson

#61. Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.

Doug Larson

#62. A perfect example of the power of prayer is when a blizzard closes the schools on the day of a big exam.

Doug Larson

#63. Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

Doug Larson