Funny Try Hard Quotes

#1. Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.

Ellen Hopkins

#2. I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured that humor was the way of letting the audience in. I've gotten a hard time about it, but I love to be funny onstage.

John Lurie

#3. When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.

Jason Sudeikis

#4. Graduating from the School of Hard Knocks doesn't always get you to Fort Knox.

Edward Harris

#5. The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis, the end of which was a deep purple verging on black where Officer Griff had tested how hard it was by using the back of his hand to give it a solid twang.

Dylan Perry

#6. Very funny, and he laughed hard. Am I really stinko? On just three sips? He didn't think so, but he was definitely high. No more. Enough was enough. "Drink responsibly," he told the empty restaurant, and laughed. He'd hang out here for

Stephen King

#7. It's a funny thing about Hollywood. Once you've been out here awhile, it's hard to go someplace else, and it gets harder the longer you stay here. Takes some real propulsion to make you leave.

Pamela Moore

#8. I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my car in the mirror. You were trying to say something so, I jumped on the brakes as hard as I could, I guess I forgot I had tied your bike on my bumper.

Georgia Saratsioti

#9. My dick twitched, and my hand drew up to the small of his back. I was sure he could feel my heart thump with an erratic rhythm while I wondered how it would feel to push my swelling dick into his ass. I swallowed hard, and David leaned back to give me a funny look.

Santino Hassell

#10. There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

David Spade

#11. Commitment is a funny thing, you know? It's almost like getting a tatoo. You think and you think and you think and you think before you get one. And once you get one, it's stick to you hard and deep.

Ika Natassa

#12. It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

Steve McConnell

#13. First and foremost when you're doing comedy, you gotta be relevant and applicable to the times that you're living in. When you try and just do comedy about who is dating who and lifestyle jokes, it gets tiring after a while. It's hard to be funny in that realm.

Adam McKay

#14. Honestly, it's hard to learn about comedy from comedians. Comedy is not something that you necessarily learn or can imitate. You're funny or you're not, and you hope what you're doing is funny.

Jane Levy

#15. Really, if that's the case, you need to stop letting your mother dress you funny. It's hard to take anyone serious as a killer when he looks like an investment banker. The only part of me that's nervous is my checkbook. (Kat)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#16. It's funny, but if I had to say whom I'm closer to, who knows me better, I'd have a hard time choosing between my husband and my best friend.

Nancy Thayer

#17. Oh. Well was this your first time painting a live model?"
She nodded her head, with an almost guilty look on her face.
"What's it like?"
"Hard," she replied.

Zack Love

#18. Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

Steven Moffat

#19. It's so funny castle, you know, at first I loved that he was so busy. It just, it just gave me the opportunity to keep one foot out the door just on case.
But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand.
And even if I did what does it mean?

Richard Castle

#20. I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard.

Jenna McCarthy

#21. He bent down so I could hear him over the music. "What are you doing here?" he asked with a hard tone.

Okay. Not the best first line. Something like, you look beautiful, have my babies would have been a little bit better.

R.S. Grey

#22. It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky ...

Mitch Hedberg

#23. He knows I'm brutal. He's knows I can punch hard. He knows if I connect on his chin, at any one moment, 12 three minute rounds, he's going to be in serious trouble. If he's not on the floor, his legs will do a funny dance.

Carl Froch

#24. It was funny how dad was more honest in a book that anyone in the world could pick up and read than he could be talking to me. Or maybe it was sad. One or the other. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Gabrielle Zevin

#25. It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.

Sean Covey

#26. When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

Mitch Hedberg

#27. Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.

Louis C.K.

#28. It's hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me bring him to his knees-and make no mistake, I bring him to his knees. I bring him to his knees, hard.

Skyla Madi

#29. There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.'

Todd Phillips

#30. It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it.

Haim Shapira

#31. Fame is a funny thing, like a secret, both are hard to keep.

Richard Peck

#32. Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!
~Swapna Rajput~

Swapna Rajput

#33. It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Josh Stern

#34. Life is hard enough, so when you can get any joy out of it, whether it's something you do on a day-to-day basis, or the people in your life, or going to see a funny movie, there's just nothing better. That's what life is about.

Ari Graynor

#35. Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.

Andy Borowitz

#36. My brain has farted so hard it might've pooped a little.

Belle Aurora

#37. It's hard enough to be a lady writer. Doubly hard to be a funny lady writer.

Jill Soloway

#38. It's funny how you can have a broken heart while you're still with someone that you're madly in love with. Life fucks us hard like that.

Christine Celis

#39. There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.

Michelle Obama

#40. it's funny how you can't exactly pick your crush. well, you can, but once it get hold of you, it's hard to shake off.

Emily Franklin

#41. Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

John Wayne

#42. It's funny, I can see the science in how music is made with other artists, but it's hard for me to dissect my own thing.

Questlove

#43. What's so funny?" Bella mumbled.
"I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again.
"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.
"S'not so hard to erase a blond's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."
Get some new jokes, "Rosalie snapped.

Stephenie Meyer

#44. The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard.

Ned Beauman

#45. Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.

Lois Greiman

#46. I'm actually pretty good at stripping, which makes me wonder what happened in my previous life. Funny enough, I don't wear a lot of clothes when I dance and it's very sexy, so it wasn't too hard to get into the motion of it.

Julianne Hough

#47. I can't draw a line between myself and stuff that I do. It's funny, I don't want to sound like it's just about this, but really with everything I do, it's hard for me to take myself out of it.

Kristen Stewart

#48. I wanted to write something tough, hard, sad, but funny.

Jennifer Niven

#49. The last couple of years were hell. Like, I can't even tell you, it was so hard. I didn't know how to handle it. But I think I'm in a much better place now, because I stepped away for a second and took a breath. Hollywood is a funny place. It offers so much, but it can also take a lot away from you.

Cameron Diaz

#50. It was funny. The adults taking all this so seriously, and the children playing
along, playing along, believing it too until suddenly the adults went too far, tried too hard, and the children
could see through their game.

Orson Scott Card

#51. At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?"
"No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God!

Ilona Andrews

#52. Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

Amy Schumer

#53. Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."

David Letterman

#54. You're an asshole, you know that?' I asked him. It figured he would pick today to be funny and personable, but I wasn't in the mood.

He smiled. 'I know. I work really hard at it.

Maggie Barbieri

#55. You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.

Stephen Manes

#56. Thus, in moments of catastrophe, when hard decisions needed to be made quickly, all AIs included in their calculations a human death toll governed by a factor called 'pigheadedness'.

Neal Asher

#57. Which made me laugh, of course. If you ever want to get truly hysterical, just get really, really scared, and then have somebody say something funny. You get caught between the laugh and the sob, and it's hard to find your way out.

Kristen D. Randle

#58. It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find.

Liz Czukas

#59. Fans feel they know me, so they want me to be on-the-spot funny, and it's hard to fulfil their expectations.

Chris Lilley

#60. Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it.

Judith Chambers

#61. Decoupage hit Mooreland pretty hard...

Haven Kimmel

#62. For some reason, people find me funny. It's quite hard to define why a thought is funny. It's even harder to define why a person would be funny. It's a word that I can't define at all. But whether I know quite what it is or not, I seem to be it.

Wallace Shawn

#63. Most people like hard work, particularly when they're paying for it.

Elbert Hubbard

#64. Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.

Emo Philips

#65. It was hard doing scenes with Bobby Cannavale because I would break up laughing because he's so funny.

Peter Dinklage

#66. God, Packard! Do you know how hard I worked at
it?" I twist up the napkin and whip it at him.
He deflects it. "There we go; I knew you could do it."
My mouth falls open. "Very funny."
He just laughs.
"I can't believe you!

Carolyn Crane

#67. It's not hard for me to be funny in front of people, but most of that is just horrified nerves taking the form of what makes people laugh, and afterwards I'd always feel dreadfully depressed, kind of self-induced bi-polar disorder.

Lynda Barry

#68. On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, "Save the whales. Collect the whole set," "Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now," and "Half the people you know are below average." Typical for the Eastern student body.

Neil S. Plakcy

#69. It's very hard to find a good child actor. There are a lot of child actors out there, especially in America, and they're cute kids, but most child actors appear on sitcoms where their main role is to be cute and make funny little remarks.

George R R Martin

#70. Perfect," he groaned. "You are perfect." He sank his teeth into her ass, hard, drawing blood. "And now you wear my mark," he finished proudly. "Your ass is mine.

Hanna Lui

#71. It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Mike Birbiglia

#72. I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard because you have to come up with the credible, twisty plot, and memoir is hard because you have to say something true and profound, albeit in a funny way.

Lisa Scottoline

#73. You can film me 24 hours a day and you'll get a very accurate picture of who I am. You see the funny side, I work hard, and I try to be honest and just call it how it is.

Lisa Vanderpump

#74. I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she's drunk, she has a hard time saying it. "Where do you want me to take you?" She drops her head back against my chest. "You can just keep carrying me. It's very relaxing.

Jessica Sorensen

#75. I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

Gary Gulman

#76. I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. "Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?" "That one, and every one on the bottom row!"

Mitch Hedberg

#77. I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy.

Madeline Kahn

#78. Something feels funny. I must be thinking too hard.

A.A. Milne

#79. It's always struck me as funny that guys with scars get a reputation for being hard. It's the ones that cut them you should be looking out for, right?

Louise Welsh

#80. I try to play the stiff, as much as I can, and play it dry, which is sometimes hard for me. My problem with comedy is to want to clown it up, but she's the funny one. Those are her jokes, not mine. For me, it's a lot of not doing anything. I just don't want to muck it up.

John Cho

#81. Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid.

Dani Alexander

#82. He swallowed, and his voice was a bit rough, but he was "You know, I think moving is key to this whole fucking thing."
"This does t feel good?" Gavin kissed under Jamie's ear while rubbing circles around his nipples with a hard palm.
"What is this, Fucking For Slackers?

K.A. Mitchell

#83. There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.

Jerry Coleman

#84. You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

Lily Tomlin

#85. It's funny how the good things are all tied up with the bad. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which. But either way, you end up taking your sugar with your salt and your kicks with your kisses.

Kami Garcia

#86. To truly fail in life is to never try. When you fall on your face, it is an opportunity for you to find the road again. It may remind you how hard the road is, but you will never forget its presence once you make contact.

H.L. Stephens

#87. She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It's kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn't listening.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#88. I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality; people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.

Chris O'Dowd

#89. You're thoughtful, Barbara, but you're not open. You're passionate, but you're hard. You're a good, decent, funny, wonderful woman, and I love you, but you're a pain in the ass.

Tracy Letts

#90. If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

George Carlin

#91. We all struggle. Life is not fun. A lot of times, it's really painful and hard. Sometimes it's really funny. 'Foxcatcher' is kind of like a metaphor for that.

Mark Schultz

#92. I've never worked in my natural accent, having studied so hard to get rid of it when I moved to England as a child where I was bullied at school for 'talking funny.'

Gina Bellman

#93. Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.

Joan Rivers

#94. The road to redemption might be damn hard, but in the end - if you reached the end - his father was right. It was worth it. Maribelle was worth it. Funny how her birth was the reason he'd started running, but she ended up being the reason he'd stopped. Life was really fucking funny that way.

Madeline Sheehan

#95. Our whole lives, it was like we were always trying so hard to be perfect - for our families and our friends, for each other - when the funny thing was, we didn't have to. In the end, we were better than that.

Brenna Yovanoff

#96. Still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

Charles Dickens

#97. Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny.

Julianne Moore

#98. If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.

Michael J. Fox

#99. Ben hid a wince behind his hand, trying very hard not to think of seventy-year-old Ellie Verstgard rolling around with Mr. Wenner. Despite his best resistance, the image scrolled across his brain and took some of his love for the world with it.

Victoria Dahl

#100. That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

Joe Rogan