Lily Tomlin Famous Quotes & Sayings

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Top 100 Lily Tomlin Quotes

#1. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1255721
#2. I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1468855
#3. We're all in this alone. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1465522
#4. What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1463855
#5. You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1440045
#6. Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1426623
#7. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1419949
#8. The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1368367
#9. You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening ... - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1332422
#10. Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1302749
#11. Just remember, we're all in this alone. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1287836
#12. If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1287315
#13. Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1256140
#14. Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1498773
#15. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1230152
#16. For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1208737
#17. I never officially came out in any kind of really public way. I just always lived very simply and openly, but the press has never made a big fuss about me or said anything to me. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1208427
#18. To me, "sexual freedom" means freedom from having to have sex. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1203870
#19. Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1192573
#20. What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1182508
#21. Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1155183
#22. The road to success is always under construction - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1109771
#23. I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1083052
#24. For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1080791
#25. We're giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren't exploiting cheap labor. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1060751
#26. Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1746010
#27. And yet humanity is so not evolved that how can you expect anything absolutely major to happen? Look how long, we move ahead in technology, how much do we move ahead in morality or emotion? We move ahead so minimally, minimally, minimally. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1865981
#28. I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1845136
#29. Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1841911
#30. The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1836197
#31. The best mind altering drug is the truth. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1820608
#32. There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1800542
#33. I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn't want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1798060
#34. I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1795717
#35. Nobody is here without a reason ... I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always
wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1795334
#36. When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1793894
#37. If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1776215
#38. I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1770366
#39. There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1046096
#40. I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1745551
#41. The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1740204
#42. Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1731308
#43. I never thought of myself as any kind of a film star, as many films as I've made - and I've made some really fun movies with good people. I've always been paired with someone because I'm not really box office, in that carrying-a-picture sense. I've always been busy, but not in the spotlight. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1711024
#44. Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1659499
#45. Thank God kids never mean well - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1645017
#46. I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1630459
#47. Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1578527
#48. So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1543189
#49. If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1511402
#50. When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1505492
#51. I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #321647
#52. No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #555068
#53. When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #539003
#54. Infinity is just time on an ego trip. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #532652
#55. 9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #528660
#56. Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #473820
#57. We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #472698
#58. I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #443748
#59. If you can't be direct, why be? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #403371
#60. I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #362964
#61. We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #352670
#62. Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #345985
#63. I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #344383
#64. What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #574500
#65. Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #313082
#66. You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #263040
#67. In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #222163
#68. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #207428
#69. Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #195316
#70. The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #180680
#71. I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #176901
#72. But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #160509
#73. When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #157709
#74. No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #124268
#75. I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #50778
#76. I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #910491
#77. Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1041817
#78. If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1015293
#79. I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1013067
#80. People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #1005305
#81. You can't expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it's a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #994453
#82. Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #964956
#83. I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #954753
#84. When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor." - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #952805
#85. Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then
we elected them. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #940367
#86. Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #939368
#87. No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #922818
#88. We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #922494
#89. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #27691
#90. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #891687
#91. If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #850446
#92. I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves ... I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we
can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #838768
#93. I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #797714
#94. Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #772578
#95. Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #698071
#96. The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #693538
#97. I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #668345
#98. I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #653232
#99. It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #648991
#100. I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes #593365

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