Funny I Didn't Do It Quotes

#1. It was funny how you could go somewhere and your whole life could stretch out and then you could come home and have it all shrink back to the way it was before. It was funny that it didn't stay stretched.

Jodi Lynn Anderson

#2. I noticed that in Tokyo people didn't smell. It was funny. I couldn't smell them, and they didn't say very much: the trains were packed but it was quite silent, like being jammed into a carriage with a thousand shop-window mannequins.

Mo Hayder

#3. Didn't expect to see you here," Jordan said.
My eyes cut to Rachel, and I smiled sweetly. "Obviously. Hey, Rachel. Good to see you again."
Hopefully, Jordan would know what I really meant, which was I'd cut a bitch if I could.

S.E. Harmon

#4. Neither of them had kissed someone else in a while, but it didn't much matter. Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter

Maggie Stiefvater

#5. I did turn down 'The Virgin Suicides.' I talked to the producers about it, and I just honestly told them that I didn't get it. Is it supposed to be funny, is it a thriller, what is it?

Terry Zwigoff

#6. Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.

Bob Hope

#7. All groups are a little intimidated by ya show of power. I mean who ever thought the monarchy was dead didn't realize it changed zip codes. - Cross

Mira Monroe

#8. It's funny because when Jason [Statham] was drowning I was filming with an iPhone. It may have been a bit insensitive but I just thought, "you know what, this was a magic moment". And I couldn't help him anyway because I didn't want to drown.

Sylvester Stallone

#9. And she didn't once say anything about this being a sin. It used to be I got the word sin slapped in my face every time I did something wrong, but come on, when you live in a sin-free family with sin-free parents and a sin-free sister, well, you can't help but sin a little extra on their behalf.

Han Nolan

#10. It was funny how you could still know little things about people, like where they kept their tin, even though you didn't know what they were thinking from one week to the next.

Nick Hornby

#11. I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

Steven Wright

#12. The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things.

Terry Jones

#13. Our whole lives, it was like we were always trying so hard to be perfect - for our families and our friends, for each other - when the funny thing was, we didn't have to. In the end, we were better than that.

Brenna Yovanoff

#14. Monkeys
What! His partner said.
Monkeys are funny, said Peabody.'So why didn't we we pick monkeys.
His partner sighed and shook his head with sad dismay.
Monkeys? Jesus.
Monkeys' idea of fun is throwing their shit at you. Monkeys always take the joke a step too far.

Toby Barlow

#15. Kate giggled. "Excellent choice."
"I always make excellent choices."
"I don't know about that."
"Of course I do. I picked ye, didn't I?

Whitney K.E.

#16. A person who wasn't outraged on first hearing about quantum theory didn't understand what had been said.

Niels Bohr

#17. Sometimes I even feel funny to say I'm in a biracial marriage because people are like, 'Oh, he's Asian?' The subtext is, 'Who cares? You didn't marry a black person.'

Diane Farr

#18. Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and subversive. I didn't know comedy could do that.

Eric Andre

#19. There were a lot of R&B groups that were my heroes, but the funny thing about my career and the way it went and where it went, at first I didn't really want to do pop music. I was a little bit more into jazz and R&B.

Frankie Valli

#20. I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.

Lily Tomlin

#21. It's funny to see the people connect with Fast & Furious the way they do. I had no clue, I didn't get it. And now, more I get it and I see it.

Paul Walker

#22. I definitely knew I wanted to be an actor in high school. I was doing plays and musicals, and I loved 'Saturday Night Live' and thought that was what I wanted to do - funny sketches and comedies. So I knew then, but I didn't know how to go about it, but I found my way.

Jerry Trainor

#23. I didn't do it. It wasn't me.

Georgia Fox

#24. I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know it. He was a naturally funny character, and when my brother and I would laugh at things he said and did, he would say, 'What do you think is so funny?'

James Belushi

#25. I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

Greg Behrendt

#26. When you grow up without it, you want to have it. It's funny, in America some people say, 'Why do you want to make money so much?' And I say, 'Well, I guess you didn't starve as a kid.'

Olga Kurylenko

#27. The small amount of people that control the discourse around painting - I thought that the whole museum world was just a bunch of phonies, and I didn't really want to have anything to do with it. I guess I did installations, in a funny way, because they couldn't be commodified.

Fred Tomaselli

#28. It's funny because all through the '80s I didn't do TV and movies very much. I prided myself that I was making a living in the theater.

Charles Kimbrough

#29. You guys dated, didn't you?"
"Are you insane? Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful.

Rachel Morgan

#30. Do you think they're going to buy that a guy in tacky leather chaps dances like this?" I scoffed when he twirled me back into his embrace.
"Keep it up, and I'll put you in the chaps." He didn't smile, but I sensed an undercurrent of amusement.

Becca Fitzpatrick

#31. How funny would it be if we left a trail of Faerie dust in our wake?"
"That would be hilarious." I laughed. "It's a shame we don't produce any." Do we? I idiotically shook my hand as I tried to brandish Faerie dust like Tinkerbell. It didn't work.

Cesya MaRae Cuono

#32. I hope it hurts," she said vehemently. "Perhaps that will teach you not to be running about on rooftops! What possessed you to do such a thing?"
Sir Ross gave her a narrow-eyed glance. "For some reason the suspect didn't want to come down to the ground so that I could catch him more easily.

Lisa Kleypas

#33. We thought being offered the M.B.E. [Member of the Order of the British Empire] was as funny as everybody else thought it was. Why? What for? We didn't believe it. It was a part we didn't want. We all met and agreed it was daft.

John Lennon

#34. I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.

Larry David

#35. Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW

Karen Gibbs

#36. I didn't just come in on a load of turnips!

Phillip C. McGraw

#37. Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place.

Richelle Mead

#38. There is a story I always tell my students ... when I came for the 1st time to the US. I didn't speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word "exit" which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :"No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they open leads to success

Pablo

#39. I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day ... Chlamydia.

Frankie Boyle

#40. They didn't have to be funny - they were father jokes.

Terry Pratchett

#41. I used to go to church when I was younger. My parents didn't go to church, but my friends all went to church and I loved going to church - I would go every Sunday with somebody. My parents used to think it was funny.

Lisa Rinna

#42. I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on.

Josephine Baker

#43. There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me.

Margot Robbie

#44. We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.

Bobby Robson

#45. Looking back, I didn't realize until years later what a huge influence Red Skelton was in my stage demeanor with the band. I mean, I always liked things that were funny, and later I realized that having a sly sense of humor was a way to get attention and even respect in school.

Jello Biafra

#46. They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.

Terry Pratchett

#47. You're sure you didn't leave? Didn't try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don't know, dismember some poor jogger?

Kendare Blake

#48. When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

Steven Wright

#49. I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

Steve Martin

#50. Fuck, Ranger said.
Ranger didn't often curse and he rarely raised his voice. The fuck has been entirely conversational. Like he was now midly inconvenienced. He put his Bates boot to the door and the door popped open..

Janet Evanovich

#51. When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Henny Youngman

#52. When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it.

Will Ferrell

#53. Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

Dylan Moran

#54. You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.

Jerry Coleman

#55. She'd call us her bee-utiful girls and take us for hot chocolate on Mondays, because Fridays didn't deserve all the attention. It was funny. I used to think of myself as a Monday and Ellen as a Friday. But Mondays and Fridays were just twenty-four-hour stretches of time with different names.

Julie Murphy

#56. Zane raised his brow. "Didn't I say that yesterday?" he asked, forcing
himself to be patient. Somehow.
"You say that like you think I listen to you," Ty responded instantly, a
smile pulling at his lips.

Abigail Roux

#57. Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father.

Holly Hood

#58. You exposed your penis on national television, Max. What am I supposed to do?"
"I didn't expose it, Howard, it just sort of peeked out.

Augusten Burroughs

#59. Yes, he wanted me to do Funny Games before, which I didn't want to do because the film was very theoretical - the way people experience violence on screen. There was very little space for fiction, it was more like a sacrifice for the actors than anything else.

Isabelle Huppert

#60. The scoreline didn't really reflect the outcome

Tony Gubba

#61. I think one of the things I was most interested in finding out was how differently we approached our work. And my reality was that we didn't approach it very differently at all, which was funny.

Kiefer Sutherland

#62. What was that? Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.

Molly Harper

#63. I didn't understand how funny this play Much Ado About Nothing truly was until I became an English teacher and had to teach it. There is no wittier dialogue anywhere.

Dan Brown

#64. It wasn't that funny, but I laughed. There wouldn't be much laughter in the world if people didn't like each other, because there sure as shit aren't that many good jokes.

John Barnes