Don't Worry Funny Quotes

#1. Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.

David Letterman

#2. That easy, confident grin returned. "Don't worry, it's easily forgotten."
"Well," I said huffily, "it shouldn't be that easily forgotten."
"Would you like it better if I say I'll eventually forget it but not without a great deal of struggle and torment?"
"Yes."
"Done.

Richelle Mead

#3. You can't play it safe if you want to get ahead.

Irene Rosenfeld

#4. I mean, I don't want to pass judgment - I just wish my husband didn't shoot deer."
"Oh, Mel, don't worry. I've been hunting with your husband - the deer are completely safe.

Robyn Carr

#5. I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!"

Mitch Hedberg

#6. Capital is dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks.

Karl Marx

#7. Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will get better."
"What, she'll stop hitting me?"
"No, but you'll stop bruising so easily.

Dylan Perry

#8. I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer ... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.

Demetri Martin

#9. She is so beautiful. You don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her.

John Green

#10. There are many stories I've wanted to write that I'm simply not able to - sometimes I haven't found the way in yet, and it doesn't matter how hard I try.

Mary J. Miller

#11. Oh, storms. That was awful."
"No it was funny. You seem to get those two mixed up a lot. Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Brandon Sanderson

#12. It's so funny because when I talk about fashion and menswear designers, it's really like a small percentage of my head. I don't mind talking about it, but I always worry that it's gonna seem to the outside world that that's all I think about.

Albert Hammond Jr.

#13. I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything."

Mitch Hedberg

#14. What I should do and what I want to do are two opposing forces. I have no idea which way I am going to end up.

Ava Zavora

#15. This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.

Cynthia Heimel

#16. According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

Tina Fey

#17. How is that cut doing?" His tone had the perfect degree of unconcerned concern.

"Don't worry, my trigger finger is just fine.

Bard Constantine

#18. I don't have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome.

Jerome James

#19. I'm going to put the moves on her,' he says gravely. 'Things might get weird.' He says it like a commando setting up a midnight raid. Like: Sure, this is going to be extraordinarily dangerous, but don't worry. I've done it before.

Robin Sloan

#20. Don't worry chief,"said foaly,"It's like riding a unicorn,you never forget.

Eoin Colfer

#21. I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts from all my friends going, 'What's the matter with you?' But I haven't ever made a big attempt to have any particular image. And I don't really worry about it. If it's funny, I don't care.

Kate Beckinsale

#22. The godly are designed for unknown and inconceivable happiness.

Jonathan Edwards

#23. To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans

Zoe Marriott

#24. I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know what you're worrying about. I thought you were very funny last night and I'm sure everybody else did, too.

Judith Martin

#25. ...to imitate Western civilization in its spirit, its mode of life and its social organization is impossible without dealing a fatal blow to the very existence of Islam as an ideological proposition.

Muhammad Asad

#26. We generally see that for which we look.

William Walker Atkinson

#27. When I was dating, my girlfriends and I used to say, 'Don't cry in front of him before date three.' "
"Cry?" I echoed, frowning.
"Yeah. Guys gets skittish when you cry."
"I don't think I have to worry about that one."
"You don't cry?"
"I don't make it to date three.

Kasie West

#28. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am
-Luna Lovegood

J.K. Rowling

#29. Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone."
"If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks.

Molly Harper

#30. A man in love will jump to pick up a glove or a bouquet for a silly girl of sixteen, whilst at home he will permit his aged mother to carry pails of water and armfuls of wood, or his wife to lug a twenty-pound baby, hour after hour, without ever offe

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

#31. Good music is good music, and everything else can go to hell.

Dave Matthews

#32. I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.

Mitch Hedberg

#33. At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

Ann Landers

#34. Thou shalt not follow someone, merely because they are following you.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#35. America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Katt Williams

#36. Never believe a writer. Listen to them, by all means, but never believe them.

Stephen King

#37. Now that I look back, I don't know why I was so stressed about it all this time. Funny how sometimes you worry a lot about something and it turns out to be nothing.

R.J. Palacio

#38. You don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to lover her.

John Green

#39. Fortunately, I've never been very conscious and inhibited of what I have to do. The camera's my soul mate.

Vidya Balan

#40. He leaned over and kissed me. A long, deep kiss filled with promise and passion. I loved the way he kissed me. Like he was drinking in the taste of me and still coming back thirsty.

Jeaniene Frost

#41. Well, I can't remember not being able to read. I was told I could read by myself very well at the age of three.

Diana Gabaldon