Top 100 Sarcasm Is The Quotes
#1. I believe sarcasm is the passive form of rudeness and should not be tolerated in the Body of Christ.
Sean Feucht
#3. I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?"
"You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.
Cecily White
#4. I've been a bad influence on you, Mr. Galloway. Less of the sarcasm, young man. Cynicism doesn't suit you," she said.
"I hardly think sarcasm is the worst thing you've brought into my life," he muttered.
Lauren James
#6. You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'
'And yet it is still extremely funny.
Cecelia Ahern
#7. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.
China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.
Derek Landy
#9. Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.
Cassandra Clare
#10. Sarcasm is the language of people whose emotions are dying.
Barry Webster
#11. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Miss Steele.
E.L. James
#12. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.
Benjamin Franklin
#13. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.
Oscar Wilde
#14. Janice rolled her eyes. First, the doctor had ogled her, and now Karr was leering at her and licking his lips lasciviously.
Oh this is great. I'm being mentally undressed by a space pirate.
William L. Lavell
#15. She thinks you're stalking me."
"Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is.
Margaret Watson
#16. You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.
Ellen DeGeneres
#17. Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.
Terry Pratchett
#18. That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace.
J.D. Salinger
#19. I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
Andrea Fay Friedman
#20. So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers ... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?
Ellen DeGeneres
#21. Marriage is always something of a compromise, as I'm sure you're now aware. Any long-term relationship is - and one does have to see it in the long term, Charles. No, I expect your mother and myself will never divorce. It's uneconomic and, at my age, usually unnecessary.
Martin Amis
#22. The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.
Jonathan Stroud
#23. Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.
Bryant McGill
#24. Your sarcasm is unwelcome here, Horseman," the Crowfather rasped at him. "Pity. It seems determined to follow me everywhere.
Ari Marmell
#25. Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it to
be one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughing
but the forces that be - given that they are even a wee bit human.
Lori Goldson
#26. Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.
It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it.
Oscar Wilde
#27. If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
#28. This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small."
"This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year.
Adam Rex
#29. Note to self: Caymen is very good at sarcasm."
"If you're recording notes for an official record, I'd like the word 'very' stricken and replaced with 'exceptionally.
Kasie West
#30. Fine, it's decided." Vain resumed his stride. "I'll do all the killing, and you do
all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is.
Luke Romyn
#31. I wanted to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put into my voice, "Sir, your poem is both original and interesting, but the part that is interesting is not original, and the part that is original is not interesting." But all I said was, "Not bad, you need to work on it some more.
Helon Habila
#32. Yeah, he's taking this little kid home." I let the sarcasm drip. "At least I won't whine like a spoiled brat, unlike you, you bleach-blonde brainless moron. Really, Officer Dan, I am sooooo disappointed in you. This is your girlfriend? Really? I thought you had better taste than this.
Apryl Baker
#33. Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.
Jacqueline Patricks
#34. Strange though it is,Sarov still cares about you. He told me to leave you alone. But I think, this time, I must disobey the general. You are mine! And I intend to make you suffer ... "
"Just talking to you makes me suffer," Alex said.
Anthony Horowitz
#35. You'll make a sucky father someday," I tell him with a smile. "I feel sorry for the kid that doesn't get to burst into light to get out of your house."
He chokes out a laugh. "Is it my sarcasm?"
"Definitely. And that obnoxious accent.
Suzanne Young
#36. Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
Mae West
#37. But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don't be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person's ten good qualities.
Janaki Sooriyarachchi
#38. Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"
Eddie Izzard
#39. Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness?
Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there.
Stefne Miller
#41. I've heard that the best way to help poor people is to make sure you don't become one of them
Robin S. Sharma
#42. I'm so sick of sarcasm and irony, I could kill! Sincerely, the real root of things is love and sacrifice.
Ben Foster
#43. Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.
Stephen King
#44. The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable.
James Gray
#45. Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from.
Shubham Choudhary
#46. Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.
Kerry E. Wagner
#47. Television is a dirty business. To survive in it you have to be part weasel, part python, and part wolf. To succeed in it, you have to be 99.9 percent great white shark. The capacity for barefaced lying also comes in handy, particularly if you are freelance.
Matt Dickinson
#48. Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.
Kami Garcia
#49. We call this a "bow", Cap'n, and the thing that's sticking out of that fellow's head over on the other side of the trench is called an "arrow". If you put them together just right, they'll do all sorts of nice things to people who aren't nice.
David Eddings
#50. Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way.
Aubrey Plaza
#51. The arrow always tipped with ill nature and sarcasm is deadliest to him who sends it.
Prentice Mulford
#52. Look. Vegan, gluten-free quiche."
"What exactly makes it quiche?"
"Well, the shape, I guess. It's quiche shaped."
"Sounds great."
"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."
"Sounds gross."
"Thank you. Honesty.
Kate Scelsa
#53. Im.' The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. 'E's a twat.'
'Is he?'
'Yeah, 'e is. Ask Kieran.'
She gave the impression that she and Kieran stood together, sane, dispassionate observers of the idiots populating Lula's world.
Robert Galbraith
#54. Your cell phone is on the nightstand. Call me immediately if something changes. I don't care if you are merely dizzy or if you start seeing pink dragons, do you understand?
I solemnly swear I will call you the second a pink dragon shows up.
Jessica Fortunato
#55. The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid.
Edgar Allan Poe
#56. I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then getting on with their lives. What is really needed for public officials who shame themselves is ritual suicide.
George Carlin
#57. He did not joke, as the newspapers dared report, for sarcasm is bitter and conceals ferments of despair.
Jean Genet
#58. The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt.
Nicolas Chamfort
#59. Sarcasm is one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions!
Habeeb Akande
#60. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
Jim Butcher
#61. Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.
George Will
#62. Sarcasm is a shaving cream pie waiting at the bottom of a guillotine's basket.
Dan Adams
#63. A vampire?" MacAullif said.
There is no way I can do justice to the skepticism, sarcasm, and mistrust with which MacAullif managed to imbue the word.
"That's right."
"You want me to find a vampire?"
"I'd be relieved if you could. I'm afraid he might be dead.
Parnell Hall
#64. What am I doing here? The Southern Star has vanished, a Cataclyst is calling the moon out of time at the mythical Great Barrier, and you're asking what I'm doing here? Are you serious?
Kami Garcia
#66. Sarcasm all around the world is always against right wing and against people in power. That's the definition of political sarcasm.
Bassem Youssef
#67. Thomas: Is it [my brain] fixed?
Brenda: It worked, judging from the fact that you're not trying to kill us anymore ...
James Dashner
#68. Maybe," he said in a slow, rural drawl, "you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy."
"Well," I said, "if you're going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn't it.
Jim Butcher
#69. What's in the cave, Russell?' Madigan asked with heavy sarcasm.
I shrugged. 'Rocks. Lots of 'em.'
'Don't patronize me.' His voice lowered to a hiss. 'What else is in the cave?'
I looked him straight in the eye and spoke one word.
'Mud.
Jeaniene Frost
#70. The occupational hazard of being a Playboy Bunny is the aching facial muscles brought on by obligatory smiles.
Germaine Greer
#71. I have no doubt that they'll tell you a lot of kind things about me when my back is turned. They may not have been behind the door when God passed out the pretty faces, but Heaven only knows where they were when He divided up the gratitude.
Kurt Vonnegut
#73. I don't profess any religion; I don't think it's possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words 'spiritual' or 'spirituality.'
[Interview, The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 2005]
Philip Pullman
#74. He might not be here, but the day he misses an opportunity to party is the day Jocelyn Wildenstein is considered the paragon of beauty.
Danielle Esplin
#75. The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult.
Rowan Atkinson
#76. I also don't turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood's portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman.
Kerry Allen
#77. Coming into your powers can be a very confusing time. Perhaps there is a book on the subject. If you like, we can go see Marian.
Yeah, right. Choices and Changes. A Modern Girl's Guide to Casting. My Mom Wants to Kill Me: A Self-Help Book For Teens.
Kami Garcia
#78. The garden of sarcasm is watered with impatience, and mine chose that moment to bloom.
Kevin Hearne
#79. The exact meaning of irony is so narrow that the word is hardly worth using; in its broad, current definition, it's a euphemism for sarcasm. 'I'm not being sarcastic; I'm being ironic.' No, you're not. You're evading the responsibility for being sarcastic.
Richard Corliss
#80. October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain
#81. A whole castle full of damsels intent upon securing a husband?" Wesley mimicked in surprise. "Why, of course. What reasonable man would not be thrilled with such a prospect?"
-Wesley
Katharine Ashe
#82. Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.
David C. Holley
#83. I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it), ...
Stephen King
#84. And involuntarily I compared the childish sarcasm, the religious sarcasm of Voltaire with the irresistible irony of the German philosopher whose influence is henceforth ineffaceable.
Guy De Maupassant
#85. At the best, sarcasms, bitter irony, scathing wit, are a sort of swordplay of the mind. You pink your adversary, and he is forthwith dead; and then you deserve to be hung for it.
Christian Nestell Bovee
#86. Here is a man whose life and actions the world has already condemned - yet whose enormous fortune ... has already brought him acquittal!
Marcus Tullius Cicero
#87. I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer," Vetinari went on, looking at a letter covered with grubby fingerprints and what looked like the remains of someone's breakfast. He added: "In some cases, I imagine, there is a lot of room.
Terry Pratchett
#88. It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both in him.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
#89. Give me a few minutes."
"You have time." He sat in the grass.
"Are you just going to sit there and watch me?"
"Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best."
"Peasant?"
He shrugged. "You started the name calling.
Ilona Andrews
#90. Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the PRIVACY of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#91. Oh, dear me." Nathalie sank back down in the chair and examined her Uggs. "The sarcasm could've started dripping off her and stained the floor. "Is it conspiracy, treachery, murder, or open warfare? I'll have to choose my lipstick accordingly.
Lilith Saintcrow
#92. Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?'
"Yes i do." she says uncertainly.
Philippa Gregory
#93. Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries.
Robert Anton Wilson
#94. Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.
Will Advise
#95. The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control.
Ann Coulter
#96. You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny.
Brandon Sanderson
#97. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. Wodehouse
#98. Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at is worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the noblest work of God.
Mark Twain
#99. Got anything to eat?" I asked.
"You know where the gas station is," said my incredibly nurturing and maternal mother.
Susan Juby
#100. Is this the baby?" I said.
Ma turned on me again.
"What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?
George Saunders
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