Top 100 Mae West Quotes
#1. One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
Mae West
#2. When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
Mae West
#3. Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home)
Mae West
#4. Brains are an asset, if you hide them.
Mae West
#5. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Mae West
#6. Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.
Mae West
#8. Always remember honey. A good motto is: Take all you can get and give as little as possible.
Mae West
#9. I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
Mae West
#10. Well, the end of another busy day. I can't wait till I get back to bed. If that don't work I'll try to sleep.
Mae West
#11. You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest.
Mae West
#12. It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
Mae West
#13. I've been things and I've seen places.
Mae West
#14. A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in.
Mae West
#15. March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.
Mae West
#16. A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay.
Mae West
#17. Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.
Mae West
#18. I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
Mae West
#19. To err is human - but it feels divine.
Mae West
#20. Well behaved women do not make history.
Mae West
#21. I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.
Mae West
#22. Sex is an emotion in motion.
Mae West
#23. I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress?
Mae West
#25. Love is banality to all outsiders.
Mae West
#26. It's not what you can do, but the way you do it that counts.
Mae West
#27. Goodness had nothing to do with it.
Mae West
#28. Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.
Mae West
#29. Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
Mae West
#30. Never ask a man where he has been.
Mae West
#31. When you think about it, what other playwrights are there besides O'Neill, Tennessee and me?
Mae West
#32. Some women pick men to marry
and others pick them to pieces.
Mae West
#33. A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.
Mae West
#34. I'm the kinda girl who works for Paramount by day, and Fox all night
Mae West
#35. Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West
#36. I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
Mae West
#37. Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.
Mae West
#38. You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink.
Mae West
#39. A good man is hard to find
but you'll mostly find him asleep.
Mae West
#40. It's hard to find a good man, but it's good to find a hard one.
Mae West
#41. Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Mae West
#42. You may think you're in love when the passions of sex get hold of you, but if you didn't love the man before, you won't love him after. Like him, maybe, but not love him.
Mae West
#43. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mae West
#44. I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
Mae West
#46. I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.
Mae West
#47. Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.
Mae West
#48. I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.
Mae West
#49. I'd like to see Paris before I die.
Mae West
#50. It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.
Mae West
#51. No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.
Mae West
#52. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!
Mae West
#53. Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini ...
Mae West
#54. I speak two languages, Body and English.
Mae West
#55. Sometimes it seems to me I've known so many men that the FBI ought to come to me first to compare fingerprints.
Mae West
#56. Don't forget honey. Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em.
Mae West
#57. I believe in the single standard
for men and women.
Mae West
#58. I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
Mae West
#59. One more drink and I'll be under the host.
Mae West
#60. Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
Mae West
#61. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
Mae West
#62. Sometimes I don't drink so the next day I can remember having fun.
Mae West
#63. A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West
#64. If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.
Mae West
#65. All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap.
Mae West
#66. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
#67. Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over
them for years.
Mae West
#68. No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.
Mae West
#69. Some of the wildest men make the best pets.
Mae West
#70. My advice to those who think they have to take off their clothes to be a star is, once you're boned, what's left to create the illusion? Let em wonder. I never believed in giving them too much of me.
Mae West
#71. Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love
that's not so bad either.
Mae West
#72. Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.
Mae West
#73. Dennis Thatcher, husband of Margaret Thatcher, when asked who wore the pants in his house, said "I do, and I also wash and iron them." I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.
Mae West
#74. Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
Mae West
#75. Personality is the most important thing to an actress's success.
Mae West
#76. If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
Mae West
#77. Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'.
Mae West
#78. The curve is more powerful than the sword.
Mae West
#79. I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Mae West
#80. Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.
Mae West
#81. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Mae West
#82. When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
Mae West
#83. It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.
Mae West
#84. Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.
Mae West
#85. His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
Mae West
#86. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West
#87. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Mae West
#88. I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.
Mae West
#89. All pleasures should be taken in great leisure and are worth going into in detail; love is not like eating a quick lunch with one's hat on.
Mae West
#90. Women are as old as they feel and men are old when they lose their feelings.
Mae West
#91. When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.
Mae West
#92. I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Mae West
#93. I know so much about men because I went to night school.
Mae West
#94. I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.
Mae West
#95. It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
Mae West
#96. Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.
Mae West
#97. Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West
#98. Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
Mae West
#99. I've been in more laps than a napkin.
Mae West
#100. Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Mae West
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