Adam Rex Quotes

#1. Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.

Adam Rex

#2. This is exciting," said J.Lo. "We are sneaky agent men, like Bond James Bond."
"I don't know where you pick this stuff up.

Adam Rex

#3. Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.

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#4. I'm part fairy,' said John. There was a quiet pause, and he eyed the man. 'Is that a problem?' 'No, sir. The United States military is very accepting of that sort of thing nowadays.

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#5. [J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of.
'It's not a police car,' I said.
'It is,' said J.Lo. 'Looknow. Lights for flashing.'
'That's true.'
'Writing on the sides.'
'Yeah, but the writing? It says 'BullShake Party Patrol.'
Yes. Whatnow?

Adam Rex

#6. So I sang the first Italian song that came into my head, which turned out to be "Volare." I'm sure I need not mention at this point that I am a rock star, and it sounded fantastic. J.Lo

Adam Rex

#7. This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small."
"This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year.

Adam Rex

#8. I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda ... I should be a video game.

Adam Rex

#9. As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.

Adam Rex

#10. Is there a short-eared koobish, then?'
Mmmyes ... ' said J.Lo. 'But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.'
We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.

Adam Rex

#11. Aw, hewwo, widdle Chihuahua," she said. "Hewwo.

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#12. Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.

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#13. I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G."
"Sausages.

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#14. Miss someone is not just word it is more than word it is like when u want ur love to be with u every moment

Adam Rex

#15. I felt a stack of shelves, and these were filled with plastic bottles and maybe buckets, and one object that felt like the worst thing in the world but which turned out later to be a sandwich.

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#16. Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late.

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#17. He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.

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#18. There's a little bit of magic in every box!

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#19. What part of Canada are you from, honey?"
"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

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#20. Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.

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#21. I grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner because it comforted me to hold something in my hand that had a trigger, such as it was. I

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#22. The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.

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#23. Stealing is good, honest work," Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking," he admitted after a moment. "Or actually good.

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#24. There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

Adam Rex

#25. Director Tom Stone is currently a potato farmer in Holbrook and could not be reached for comment. RECORDING

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#26. Control was the basis of all humor. Even at its most innocent, what was a joke or a clever comment if not a way to take control? To become King of the Moment.

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#27. So why the pelican? Said Haskoll.
The thief was giving Haskoll a look that said, Man, why NOT the pelican?

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#28. The Boov frowned. 'Now you sound like sheep.

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#29. The Boov frowned. 'Everybodies always is wanting to make a clone for to doing their work. If you are not wanting to do your work, why would a clone of you want to do your work?

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#30. Soon the Boov was in the ghost suit and Pig was in the car, which would be a good lyric for a bluegrass song, now that I think of it.

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#31. They were just people. They were too smart and too stupid to be anything else.

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#32. I'm half white," I said, folding my arms.
"Hrrm. Which half?"
I blinked. "Uh ... dunno. Let's just say it's from the waist down."
Chief Shouting Bear nodded. "Deal. I only hate your legs.

Adam Rex

#33. The fog was mysterious. The lights were mysterious. The music was "A-Tisket, A-Tasket".

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#34. I am rubber but you are blue. Whatevers you are saying bounces off of me and I do not remember the rest.

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#35. The Fay have always preferred a good story over a well-thought plan.

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#36. Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo.

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#37. Wherefor are you knowing it? If you stacked all of the Gorg in the galaxy on top of eachother, the Gorg would kill you.

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#38. Magic likes a good tragedy, too.

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#39. Allo!" he shouted as he drifted away."there is no to fear! The Boov have stopped eating you people!

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#40. It smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long.

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#41. In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."
"Fight or flight."
"Yes."
"Only half of that is flight.

Adam Rex

#42. Ohh!" said J.Lo. "Oooooh! My tummy!"
I set him down. "Are you okay? I thought they missed us."
"It ... must not work on humans. Feel like i could marf ... Like I could marf right out my poomp," J.Lo insisted.

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#43. Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.

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#44. I began thinking that this was a guy who displayed his books the way another guy might display his animal trophies.

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#45. There was less than I'd expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled 'DEAD SPIDERS.' As if I hadn't always known it was there. As if I wouldn't want to look at dead spiders.

Adam Rex

#46. You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are ...

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#47. By the time we stopped for the night, Billy Milsap was as big as an ocean liner.

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#48. You are singing to the preacher," said J.Lo.
"Preaching to the choir," I corrected him.
"Yes. This thing.

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#49. Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals.

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#50. Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?'
Stephin stared. 'If you can explain to me how this is different from parenting in general I might know how to answer that.

Adam Rex

#51. Regarding stickyfish teams, I favor the Bigfield Fighting Koobish.

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#52. The sky looked really great when nearly the entire country was blacked out. Of course, now it looked dangerous, too. I wondered if it would ever be just the night sky again, and not a black sea, full of sharks. Anyway,

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#53. Look," I said halfheartedly. "Another one of those tumbleweeds made out of old hair weaves."
"Tumbleweave," said J.Lo.

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#54. They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

Adam Rex

#55. Why did you attack some girl's boots?"
J.Lo looked incredulous. "She is still mad about this?" he huffed. "I TOLD her-I THOUGHT they were ANKLEwolves."
"Okay, whatever. I-"
"Why elsenow would a person wear fur with shortpants? It makes no sense!

Adam Rex

#56. Can I see some ID?"
"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID ... THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."
Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.

Adam Rex

#57. Mark Twain said the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, and people think he was good, right ? Didn't write any decent characters, as far as I can tell, but otherwise fine.

Adam Rex

#58. Well, naturally, some of the animals must have escaped from the Wild World Animal Park, and part of it tried to remember if anyone in school ever told us what to do when faced with a lion; but no, of course they didn't, they were too busy teaching really useful things like the state capitals.

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#59. When we wants to do something but cannot, that is when we think. When our consciousness awakes up and stretches its arms. That is when we imagine, and plan, and dream about the undone thing.

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#60. For the gentle werelibrarian, who's strictly vegetarian, there's nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

Adam Rex

#61. You heard my name was Chief Shouting Bear," he said. "It doesn't matter. You can call me whatever you want, Stupidlegs.

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#62. Can I come into the out now? - Jlo

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#63. The Boov are having seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, boygirl, girlboy, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy." I

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#64. We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.'
'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

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#65. MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

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#66. I'd drained our bank account, and there was less than I'd expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept at the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled "DEAD SPIDERS." As if I hadn't always known it was there. As if I wouldn't have wanted to look at dead spiders. I

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#67. A row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.

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#68. you know what doesn't work when people are tasering you? It's shouting 'Stop tasering me.' If they're tasering you already, they won't stop because you ask them to.

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#69. Sometimes you really want to say "Duh," but you can't. It's a part of growing up, I guess.

Adam Rex