David C. Holley Quotes

#1. There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.

David C. Holley

#2. Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.

David C. Holley

#3. Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.

David C. Holley

#4. Anyone else find it funny that Bernie Madoff's last name is a homophone of 'made-off'?

David C. Holley

#5. Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

David C. Holley

#6. Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

David C. Holley

#7. Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

David C. Holley

#8. The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.

David C. Holley

#9. The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

David C. Holley

#10. If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

David C. Holley