Top 79 Quotes About You Fart
#1. That dragon queen's got the real item, the kind that don't break and run when you fart in their general direction.
George R R Martin
#2. Funyuns make you fart," Caspian said, and I explode in laughter. "Funyuns give you bad breath too. Not very attractive to the ladies." He paused. "On second thought, enjoy your Funyuns, Ben!
Jessica Verday
#3. You think I'm gross?" Grayson asked.
"Yes, I do. You are so horny it's unhealthy. You burb in my face every time you eat onions, and you don't bother to leave the room before you fart. This afternoon you dripped your sweat on me. On purpose!
Kelly Oram
#4. I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts.
Let's not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing out big plumes of noxious gas doesn't always smell good, but it generally feels might fine.
Neil Pasricha
#5. My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
Bob Saget
#6. Beans, beans, they're good for your heart," I said cheerily, seizing the opening. "The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel - so let's have beans for every meal!
Diana Gabaldon
#7. Love? Dude. It's like a fart. You don't even know it's happening, but all of a sudden,it crawls up the crack of your ass and then the stink hits you.
Ann Everett
#8. Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.
Kurt Vonnegut
#9. We're naked under our clothes; we both know what it's like to need to fart and hold it in, or not be able to get a hard-on, or worry that a bloke across the room might be looking at your bird and you might have to fight him but he looks well hard.
Russell Brand
#10. Every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh.
Philip K. Dick
#11. I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
Kurt Vonnegut
#12. Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.
Ryan Hansen
#13. When I tell you you'll fart and pee in your pants with terror.
Luo Guanzhong
#14. Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger you pull to make it happen.
Jenny McCarthy
#15. You see, I'm not the hack. God is. And the Old Fart doesn't know how to write a conclusion that'll satisfy his audience. He leaves that to us, his lost children, doing his dirty work, inventing uplifting endings to erase his mistakes.
Rafael Yglesias
#16. Are you still doing that crap?" I ask.
"You can't even do it properly," Eileen says.
"Just a matter of practice," Simone says.
"Wow! Practicing how to poison yourself and make your breath reek like the fart of a seagull!" Eileen cries.
Randa Abdel-Fattah
#17. You don't have anything, you don't know anything, you're just a noise like a fart in somebody's pants, Segura said.
James Lee Burke
#18. Ela did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.
Mark A. Cooper
#19. What kind of doctor are you? Get up! Get up! And then all of a sudden she let out the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart in the history of farts. Mom thinks it was actually the fart that finally woke the doctor up. Anyway,
R.J. Palacio
#20. This is bigger than a fart in a bathtub, you know.
John Marsden
#21. Come athwart my hawse and I shall ride you down, you half-baked son of an Egyptian fart,' to a wool-gathering jolly-boat; and art echoed from either shore.
Patrick O'Brian
#22. I tell you this, madam, no man at court will be able to fart soon without asking Cecil first.
Susan Kay
#23. The biggest milestone in a relationship is when you can fart in front of each other freely and loudly. Without judgements
Himmilicious
#24. He's only being polite. You should look the word up," Denise settled on.
Ian snorted. "And angels fly out of my arse when I fart."
First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene Frost
Page 78
Jeaniene Frost
#25. I realized that you don't try on a pair of pants, fart in them, and then put them back on the shelf, and the same rough politeness applied here, too. Plain and simple, I bled on it, I bought it.
Laurie Notaro
#26. Love is like a fart. It's warm, unpredictable. And sometimes it stinks, but it can also be the best feeling in the world. That's why I'm so happy that I passed you that day. I know now ... I fart you
Ryan Higa
#27. And nostalgia is a cancer. Nostalgia will fill your heart up with tumors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. You're just an old fart dying of terminal nostalgia.
Sherman Alexie
#28. You can't even trade a single fart with the next guy. Each and every one of us has to live out his own life. Don't waste time thinking about who's most talented.
Kodo Sawaki
#29. It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.
Terry Pratchett
#30. If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!
Jessica Zafra
#31. All of our lives suck right now, okay? You might think yours is an extra special sparkly rainbow unicorn fart type of suck, but it's not. Just get on with it!
Lia Habel
#32. A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
Jenny Eclair
#33. The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around.
Kurt Vonnegut
#34. Gods curse it, Kel, you heard what he said!"
"I heard a fart," Kel said grimly. You know where those come from. Let it go." -Faleron and Kel
Tamora Pierce
#35. Didn't you hear what they said about my sister? But you don't give a rat's fart, do you, it's only the Forbidden Forest, Harry I've-Faced-Worse Potter doesn't care what happens to her in here - well, I do, all right, giant spiders and mental stuff -
J.K. Rowling
#36. Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.
Khaled Hosseini
#37. I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
Tina Fey
#38. So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us?
Neal Stephenson
#39. Hey, it's not like we were together for a hundred years or anything." He tapped his fingernail against his teeth and sucked in a breath. "No, wait."
"If you don't knock it off I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll fart everything you say.
Dana Marie Bell
#40. If you wanted reflections on the nature of the universe and your place in it, you should have stayed in school. You want fart noises and cock jokes, I'm your man.
A.J. Hartley
#41. What did you do?" "Blew up a fuel depot, stole twelve rockets and made off with them in a stolen van, got kidnapped by a maniac, and had dinner with a guy who farted fire." "That would be funny, but I'm worried it's all true." "It's been a long couple days." "Did he really fart fire?" Morelli asked.
Janet Evanovich
#42. You're like a big kid, aren't you?" I laugh. "Eh, yeah, I guess so. I don't see the point in acting like a stuffy old fart. Might as well have some fun with life. You're only here once.
Micalea Smeltzer
#43. You never want to look like an old fart doing young rap music.
DJ Quik
#44. They come quietly - like a silent but deadly fart - and they get you before you can pinch your nose.
Terry Pratchett
#45. Well, don't fart or you'll scare the deer," he continued seriously. "They have very sensitive noses and ears.
Jack Gantos
#46. At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart.
Robert Gottlieb
#47. You could make friends with a possessed unicorn, couldn't you?"
"Probably so. We both fart rainbows.
Jamie Farrell
#48. I want to do it too!" said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless.
"Nope," said Nudge, shaking her head. "You stand out like a fart in church.
James Patterson
#49. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Graham Chapman
#50. [When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.
Gwyneth Paltrow
#52. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and you're on your own.
Peter James West
#53. You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
#54. How would you be able to detect a fart over your natural odor, Sanza?" "For shame," said Galdo. "There's no Sanzas here, remember? I'm an Asino." "Oh yes," said Locke with a yawn. "Yes, you certainly are.
Scott Lynch
#56. That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.
Faye Kellerman
#57. He calls you dear Sabine - Patronizing fart!
Nick Bantock
#58. You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
John Marston
#59. Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Stephen K. Amos
#61. Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride?
Robert Rankin
#62. I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
Walter Matthau
#63. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.
Louise Rennison
#64. Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you'll still fart.
Martyn V. Halm
#65. You gotta fart, Jayne. You've gotta break the spell. Fart for all you're worth! Let your butt sing!
Elle Casey
#66. I simply wish to offer my fart-helt apologies, sir, for you're just an honest man doin' your job, and I'm a dishonest lad doin' mine, and of the two, you have far more reason to hang your head high than does I.
Peter David
#67. Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake."
"Yes, we're going to save them with a fart gun.
Ilona Andrews
#70. I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?
Martin Luther
#71. Did you hear something, Nora?" Vee asked. "I thought I heard something." "You definitely heard something," I agreed. "Could that be ... a dog fart I heard?" Vee asked me.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#72. We need grandchildren here," Pete's mother said to me
when we visited. "You don't get married just to eat and fart.
Abigal Muchecheti
#73. If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like - you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.
Megan Fox
#74. They don't talk to me much; I don't feel like i know them." Simon said.
You're not supposed to. It's a members-only club."
Simon accepted this. "So Akira is the angry one, Kisho is the crazy one, Toyo is the old fart ...
Jason Hightman
#75. You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.
Gary Busey
#76. Robert Plant asked me to marry him, but I said 'no.' I mean, you just don't want to marry someone you've wanted to do it with since you were thirteen, because, well, if he farts, I would, like, die!
Tori Amos
#77. I intended to make it sound guileless and rather sweet but you will see in it the little blades of social criticism without which no book is worth a fart in hell.
John Steinbeck
#78. I'm not a big scatology fan, unlike my sons, who can amuse themselves for an entire afternoon by repeating the phrase 'crocodile fart.' So I'll spare you from an overabundance of detail in this chapter. This chapter will be somewhat soft focus, like the TV camera in a Barbra Streisand interview.
A. J. Jacobs
#79. Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
Jonathan Tropper
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