Fart Joke Quotes

#1. [When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#2. Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

Katy Perry

#3. I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.

Harold Ramis

#4. A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

Jenny Eclair

#5. Lydia shook her head. "This is my life. Getting yelled at in a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night by somebody doing a bad impression of PG-13 fart-joke-movie comedian.

Jeff Zentner

#6. Why is it that when a woman has bruises, especially on her face, people assume they were put there through domestic violence? I'm guilty of jumping to the same conclusions myself. It's a societal assumption, unfortunately born out of too frequent reality.

Kim Holden

#7. From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

George Burns

#8. The Holiness of God is something more and other than moral perfection: His claim upon us is something more and other than the claim of moral duty.

C.S. Lewis

#9. The way we measure awareness is by how long you can stop thought. If you can't stop thought at all, then you are not powerful. You might be quite evolved, but you have no access to that evolution.

Frederick Lenz

#10. Send lawyers, guns and money; the shit has hit the fan.

Warren Zevon

#11. It [MDMA] takes away the feelings of self-hatred and condemnation, which are the biggest obstacles to insight ... For reasons we don't understand, MDMA allows people to do this, typically in one [psychotherapeutic] session.

Ann Shulgin

#12. Every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh.

Philip K. Dick

#13. I think a cosmetics company should be headed by a woman.

Leonard Lauder

#14. It's not that I literally believe in magic or spirits. In my logical life I absolutely don't believe in any kind of mumbo jumbo. But I do have this belief in the greater magic of the universe.

Aoife O'Donovan

#15. We script our lives on reaction rather than action, meaning daily life is always in response to, or a reply to, a command or demand. The world uses us in that way...The world does this--holds us down.

Randall Horton

#16. A calamity does not descend except due to a sin and it is not lifted except with repentance.

Ali Ibn Abi Talib

#17. I still write in long hand. I type like a chimpanzee.

Pat Conroy

#18. We are so small; and what must one hold on to when one no longer recognizes one's own hands, nor one's step, nor even the small dose of everyday despair.

Danielle Collobert

#19. Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ...

Demetri Martin

#20. Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.

Jonathan Tropper

#21. Over at the Olivia Pope & Associates set, we're like middle school children. Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around; there's show tunes and fart noises.

Darby Stanchfield

#22. Back in those days, in the fifties and sixties, countries had balance of payment's deficits or surpluses, those were reflected much more than today in movements of reserves among countries.

Robert C. Solomon

#23. What I love most about icons is finding out what's behind them, exploring the price of their power.

Joss Whedon

#24. It goes on top and breaks down,
It can emit a high or low sound.
Each atom of such noisy chute
Exhale the aroma of a ripe fruit.

Ana Claudia Antunes