Top 100 Quotes About Vagina
#1. Having everyone stare and wonder what sort of hijinks your vagina's been up to isn't as thrilling as one might imagine.
Michelle Hodkin
#2. It was depressing how pornography had so emphatically demoted the vagina. The poor old vagina!
Glen Duncan
#4. I hated longing. I hated it almost as much as I hated pining. It sapped the mind of good judgment, filled the heart with achiness, and distracted the vagina from other potential conquests.
Penny Reid
#5. What do you think I imagine making love to a vagina would be like? Maybe like having sex with a ballroom!
John Irving
#6. Yes, I called him mine. He'd put his mouth on my vagina, and I was a feeling a little territorial about the whole thing. Sue me.
Elizabeth Brown
#7. Six months earlier, my ice breaker concerned a stripper who became a quadriplegic and eventually had her vagina eaten away by bedsores, not the easiest thing to wrangle into a conversation. But if I could pull that off, I figured that a burning mouse should pose no problem.
David Sedaris
#8. Check your vagina. Does it look kind of broken? If so, you probably had a baby. Seriously, mine was all Franken-gina for a good year before it was presentable again.
Jenny Lawson
#9. [It] began to seem amazing how often it was assumed that having a vagina automatically meant I was less intelligent, talented, capable, and interesting than the world's least interesting human being who happened to have a penis.
Francine Prose
#10. Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!
Michael Bassey Johnson
#11. Memories are't like words; they're soft and gooey. Covered with a sticky slime, like a penis after sex, or your vagina when you menstruate, and shaped like tadpoles or tiny watersnakes
Ryu Murakami
#12. I'm pretty sure the last time you saw a vagina, you were coming out of one." I snorted. "Yeah, well, not all of us needed to experiment in college to figure it out, Irish.
S.E. Harmon
#13. His hand had been resting two inches above my shorts. Which is about five inches above my vagina. So... yeah, he was basically touching my vagina.
R.S. Grey
#14. Warm breath hit my most secret female flesh. Okay, enough fancy talk, it was my vagina.
Kylie Scott
#15. My electric-blue-suitmate was an uninhibited vagina about town.
Tina Fey
#16. When a man's bank balance becomes too small, his woman flees. For a man to do the same, his woman's body - or vagina - has to do the opposite.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#17. I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. - Pam
Charlaine Harris
#18. That's what fresh babies look like. You should see it. Horrific. Your vagina rips in two and this purpled, wrinkled creature comes flying out. And you're stuck with it.
Ainslie Hogarth
#19. I always hoped I'd be the one to tame the bad boy. It's a stupid girly thing, the universal belief in vagina magic where men change after having some.
Milana Jacks
#20. It's a totally ridiculous, completely unsexy word. If you use it during sex, trying to be politically correct
"Darling, could you stroke my vagina?"
you kill the act right there. I'm worried about vaginas, what we call them and don't call them.
Eve Ensler
#21. Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina.
Brian K. Vaughan
#22. Like our padded cell?" He poked the insulated walls. "It's like living in a vagina.
Michael Crichton
#23. Am I the only creature with a vagina who thinks that weddings are ridiculous? I'm going to elope. Just me, my hubby, and a minister on a beach in Jamaica.
Megan McCafferty
#24. I'm more than happy to fuck off, but if it makes a difference, I wasn't going to talk about dicks. I'm far more interested to hear more about your poor neglected vagina. How's she been? We haven't had a face-to-face in a while.
Leisa Rayven
#25. My mouth went dry.
My vagina bats fluttered.
My Carly-cave collapsed. Fuck. F.U.C.K. Fuck.
K.M. Golland
#26. I don't know what she thinks a Matilda looks like, but I've always thought that I look a little like Gene Wilder, except with longer hair and a vagina.
Melissa DeCarlo
#27. Isn't it strange that having a dick automatically makes you a man, but having a vagina isn't enough to make me a woman?
Christina Engela
#28. There are evil people, but they still came weeping from someone's vagina.
Dave Matthews Band
#30. It was like that hand on The Adams Family. Only... a vagina." - Steve
Lucian Bane
#32. I know I have a vagina, but that doesn't negate the fact that I have a brain and a spine, so I can make my own decisions about my life and deal with the consequences. I'm also not real big on dudes talking about my shit behind my back.
Kristen Ashley
#33. do I look like the kind of girl to lie back demurely so my gentleman friend can politely slip his penis inside my vagina? I think not." He
E.J. Shortall
#34. Is it broken? Seriously. I mean my vagina. Not the vibrator. The vibrator definitely had some kicking power left in it. I think that cocky, sexy, asshole broke it.
Victoria Ashley
#35. It feels like you dropped your nightstick down your pants.'
'Oh, so that's where that went.'
'I'm not kidding. Is this all you? Because if so, I think I may need to rethink a few things. I may need to rethink the shape and depth of my vagina.
Charlotte Stein
#36. What genius decided to call that particular piece of clothing a "wife beater"? It's not a wife beater. It's a vagina arouser. A drool inducer. A panty destroyer. Fricking
Leisa Rayven
#37. I watch as DJ easily bends down to slip under the ropes. He stands up to his full height and walks into the middle of the ring and my brain immediately drops right into my vagina.
Tara Sivec
#38. I'm sure her vagina isn't sticking out." I look at Poppy. "Jesus, it's not sticking out is it?"
"Go say something encouraging to that girl, Warren."
I pull Lilla's arm along, because I'll be damned, if there's a hideous vagina sticking out I'm not foregoing this shit alone.
Pella Grace
#39. I mean, he did say vagina, didn't he? And if he did, then how come it sounded so exciting? Vagina is pretty much the least exciting word in the world. It's something your doctor says to you shortly before he invades it with what looks like a weapon from our robotic future.
Charlotte Stein
#40. After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.
Chelsea Handler
#42. When I look over at Luis in one brief flashing moment his head looks like a talking vagina and it scares the bejesus out of me ...
Bret Easton Ellis
#43. His touch fucked with my ability to concentrate even more than his presence already had. My lower belly was in a state of what-the-fuck-are-you-doing? My skin was in a state of "holy fucking hell let him touch every part of you" and my vagina had pulled out the fucking welcome mat.
Nina Levine
#44. In the symphony of love, the lost chord is a small organ lying somewhat north of the vagina.
Ruth Herschberger
#45. I'm not calling you a pussy, I'm just saying your vagina is bigger than mine.
Katie Graykowski
#46. Apparently having emotions equated to having a vagina.
Cora Carmack
#47. He gave me a Man Look which communicated the fact that he wasn't a big fan of me paying for shit, seeing as I had a vagina and breasts.
Kristen Ashley
#48. That hole she had at the base of her belly must appear so useless to her; a prick can always be cut off, but how do you forget the emptiness of a vagina?
Michel Houellebecq
#49. Your mouth belongs in my Vagina
This was said to me in a University Library and the only person present was in a picture clearly marked Stephanie Lord.
Stephanie Lord
#50. Suddenly all I wanted to do was watch Gronk do his thang-thang in the zone place there. My vagina demanded it.
Lacey Noonan
#51. My court-appointed therapist would say I was trying to fill a hole." "Is that what you call your vagina?" Claire chuckled under her breath.
Karin Slaughter
#52. I think it's genetically impossible not to be kind of in love with him when you come equipped with a vagina. It's just something about all that angsty, moody swagger he has that makes you want to cuddle him up and make him feel better.
Jay Crownover
#53. But do I really want my vagina to heal over through lack of use either?
Nick Alexander
#54. Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina.
Helen Fielding
#55. It was refreshing to flirt with a woman who didn't think it meant she had to fall on his dick with a missile-seeking vagina.
Olivia Cunning
#56. What'd you do to your face?" she asks, folding her arms. I touch my chin. "I grew a beard." "Well ungrow it. It looks like a vagina from a 1970s porn film.
Emma Chase
#57. A host of scorpions crawl out from under the wetnurse's dress and start swarming in her vagina which swells and splits, becomes transparent and shimmers like the sun
Antonin Artaud
#58. It's a common storyline and mythology in the comic book community - which technically is the only community more frightened by the vagina than the religious community.
Ryan Patricks
#59. I once typed 'vagina dentata' into dictionary and it asked me, 'Did you mean giant anteater?
Juliet Cook
#60. I assure you, all my parts are my own." "That's a relief; otherwise you would've had the biggest vagina in the world as a woman.
Helena Hunting
#61. In reality, the vagina is not a game of soccer to be kicked around like a ball. Its goal is to love and not keep score of how many times it's beaten the competition. Having a vagina is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be locked up or controlled by those who do not have one.
Sadiqua Hamdan
#62. The vagina is obliterated from the imagery of femininity in the same way that the signs of independence and vigor in the rest of her body are suppressed.
Germaine Greer
#63. Of course, I had met him. I shook his hand, and then my vagina shook his penis.
Addison Moore
#64. I dance the hardest, laugh the hardest at my own jokes, and make casual reference to my vagina, like it's a car or a chest of drawers.
Lena Dunham
#65. I think the real question is why do you have a theme song for shaving your vagina? And" - he holds up his hand, pointing at his finger and the band there - "you're my wife. I can do whatever the fuck I want when it comes to you." "Get
Aurora Rose Reynolds
#66. Fuck, did he smell good. Like God's vagina. No one should be allowed to smell that good during the apocalypse.
Lisa Biesiada
#67. In mid-70s Manchester there must be obsessive love of vagina, otherwise your life dooms itself forever.
Morrissey
#68. Wanted you to meet Murphy, the new guitarist. Very cute. Laughing, I respond: Stop trying to set me up! Jenna: Your vagina is going to close up, and you'll need surgical assistance to use it again.
Lex Martin
#69. A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#70. Johnson leaned down and added his lips to her hopeful little pile of human tissue and transformed her mouth into a moaning, begging megaphone for her vagina.
Debra Anastasia
#71. The vulva, clitoris, and vagina are actually best understood as the surface of an ocean that is shot through with vibrant networks of underwater lightning - intricate and fragile, individually varied neural pathways.
Naomi Wolf
#73. You're on a road show with your penis, and trust me, I'm the last person who wants to get in your way. But I'm telling you, operation occupy-my-vagina is a no-go for the evening.
Addison Moore
#74. Ignoring! Yes, I am ignoring the Sunday church fan my vagina broke out in order to fan the flames. I hate that he does this to me.
Sasha Marshall
#75. Hey, maybe we can even convince her to slather some Three Musketeers on her vagina. We'll just tell her you have a Willy Wonka fetish,
Tara Sivec
#76. Just make sure Casey knows that I wear my alleged vagina with pride, not because she took my manhood with that purse of hers, but because I want to be a better man for you.
Katie Ashley
#77. There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.
Florynce Kennedy
#78. Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how 'we' are having a baby. Don't. Don't.
MaryJanice Davidson
#79. I smiled then - a big, toothy idiotic smile - and Serena didn't see it. Her eyes were closed, which was good, because I was turning into one big vagina.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#80. What?" I ask, throwing my hands up, and then pointing at the woman. "Don't even look at me like that, lady. You know after having that baby, your vagina probably looks like wrinkled roast beef curtains. So don't kid yourself...because your vagina hates you." ~Vivian
S.L. Romines
#81. transformed, and transported by one specific guide - a visionary, an activist, an outrageous fighter and dreamer. I have come to know these women (and sometimes men) as Vagina Warriors.
Eve Ensler
#82. Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and a weed whacker.
Tara Sivec
#83. Yes", she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's exactly what I'm saying, in fact let's try sex again." She leaped to her feet and torn open her jeans. "Maybe my magic vagina will cure you of all the traumatic acts my family has inflected on you.
Larissa Ione
#84. I guess we can start at the end but it's really the middle. Let's just call it the really bad part. My second wife, Mishna, brought it to my attention that I had an anger problem. She didn't say it like that. What she said was, "I'm leaving." Then she took her vagina and left.
Marc Maron
#85. I liked Sean Cassidy. I liked him with something more than just my vagina.
L. H. Cosway
#86. Six hours later, when I returned, I was greeted at the door- and this before it was even opened -by the overpowering smell of vinegar. What were my neighbors thinking? That a douche-obsessed woman with a gigantic, three-foot vagina lived next door?
Augusten Burroughs
#88. The loudest voices - those proponents of laws related to the control of the vagina - should at least be required to have one.
T. Rafael Cimino
#91. Is that how you get propositioned at the court? 'Mylady, would you be so kind as to allow me to put my manhood in your vagina'?
Erica Dakin
#92. But we were madly in love! I didn't even consider leaving her because of her ghost vagina. She meant everything to me. I loved her this much! (That means infinitely).
Carlton Mellick III
#93. The final word on the political non-implications of group differences must go to Gloria Steinem: There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all the other occupations should be open to everyone.
Steven Pinker
#94. I'm not backing down until you talk to me."
"What?" I asked, cupping my hand to my ear. "I can't hear you over the flapping sound of my loose vagina."
The corner of his mouth lifted, and he almost laughed. "Is that what that noise is?" he asked. "I thought it was the air conditioner.
Erin McCarthy
#95. Oh for the love of your vagina, get over yourself.
Kathryn Perez
#96. No, Miss Palmer. What is bizarre is that I currently have a vagina.
Karen Chance
#97. A wounded heart was apparently no competition for an overeager vagina.
Kylie Scott
#98. So the next time I answer a late night booty call from Jimmie and I actually go over to his place, what will you do?"
... "Punch you in the vagina?"
"Exactly!
J. Lynn
#99. If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger.
Augusten Burroughs
#100. I had always thought of my vagina as an anatomical vacuum randomly sucking up particles and objects from the surrounding environment.
Eve Ensler
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