Top 88 Sara Wolf Quotes
#1. Jack doesn't give a jackshit about me. No, wait, I got that backwards. I don't give a jackshit about Jack the Shit.
Sara Wolf
#2. Dying before you pay someone back is just plain rude.
Sara Wolf
#3. Why do I feel the sudden urge to perform violence on your face?
Sara Wolf
#4. Imagine having sex with a vampire."
"Imagine going to church and praying to your lord and savior," I offer.
Sara Wolf
#5. She looks like an inbred Pomeranian on her best days.
Sara Wolf
#6. I want you, Isis. Not as a friend. Not as an enemy. But as the most beautiful girl I've ever known.
Sara Wolf
#7. Flash 'em the sass before you flash 'em the ass.
Sara Wolf
#8. Yes, because I want to turn my vagina into a gonorrhea culture lab.
Sara Wolf
#9. Most things that pop into my head are really weird, like that one time when I thought about Shrek in Victoria's Secret underwear.
Sara Wolf
#10. Two closets wait to be filled with shoes or condoms or failed exams or whatever else college kids fill empty spaces with. Broken dreams, maybe.
Sara Wolf
#11. I hate idiots. There's a difference. It's not my fault a great majority of them in this world happen to be male.
Sara Wolf
#12. I always knew you had good taste, Mia. You should go talk to him." "I should go talk to him. I should also file my taxes on time, remember to floss regularly, and inherit seven million dollars. But I won't. Ever.
Sara Wolf
#13. Come! Come sit by me. It's a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt."
"You're drunk."
"Yeah, and you're ugly, but do I complain about it? No! Because I don't complain about things that I can't change. That's called intelligence.
Sara Wolf
#14. You like it. Knowing things about people. It makes you feel powerful.
Sara Wolf
#15. Struggling through young adulthood is half the fun, or so I've been told. Except we all know that's bullshit. It wasn't fun at all. It was painful, and now I just wanna go somewhere no one knows me, start the next chapter of my life fresh. But I can't.
Sara Wolf
#16. I wake up in Satan's butthole. Everything is white - white walls, white beds, white light. Or Narnia. It could be Narnia. Did I die and go to Narnia? Because that would be rad.
Sara Wolf
#17. I'd be honored to try marriage with you - " Jack smiles. "- you big stupid idiot.
Sara Wolf
#18. There are approximately nine trillion cells in my body and every single one of them hates hiking. And walking. Just moving for extended periods of time in general, really. All nine trillion of us would rather be in bed.
Sara Wolf
#19. Is it? Because that picture of me was taken by my old school's yearbook club, and they put it in the section titled 'STUDENT FAILSAUCES! XD.
What's an XD?
A sideways laughing face of horrendous proportions. Don't change the subject.
Sara Wolf
#20. She smells like coconut and the tears of every boy who will never have a chance with her.
Sara Wolf
#21. They judge with their eyes alone. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something very wrong with them.
Sara Wolf
#22. You're the most confusing girl I've ever met." "Yeah." I smile. "Not sorry." "Good.
Sara Wolf
#23. Yvette informs me janitors cannot fly. Vampires, however, can. "Vampires are gross," I determine. "Have you even read Twilight?" "I've read so many things that are not that.
Sara Wolf
#24. Okay, okay. Ms. Muffin stays. But keep in mind; first impressions are everything, and the only people Ms. Muffin will impress are six-year-olds." "Precisely, madre. I don't want to be friends with people who aren't six. At heart. Only at heart. Because it's also fun to legally drive.
Sara Wolf
#26. It's okay, buddy!" I shade my eyes and look up at the sky. "Luckily for you, I am both stunningly good-looking and benevolent. I forgive you!" He drops a fat deuce on my shoulder in gratitude.
Sara Wolf
#27. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I don't cry and the don't-cry times are somehow worse than the crying ones.
Sara Wolf
#28. My gut isn't wrong. Except when it has diarrhea. Then it is very, very wrong.
Sara Wolf
#29. It comes true because we're wise, dear.
Sara Wolf
#30. You try to. You try to stop all these injustices, and save people from them. But you never try to save yourself
Sara Wolf
#31. Did you know rats can leap over ten feet horizontally? And they always aim for the jugular.
Sara Wolf
#32. Did you have fun? How many boys did you make out with?" She asks. "Seventy. At least." "How many shots did you take?" "Fourteen. I let go of the wheel halfway home and Jesus drove me the rest of the way.
Sara Wolf
#34. And offers me a black rose.
"I figured you'd hate flowers, so I decided to get one that matched your soul" He says. I take the flower, careful not to touch any of his long finger.
Sara Wolf
#35. Anyway, I like you but you're ruining my life. Bye.
Sara Wolf
#36. Sometimes when life kicks you in the ass, you have to kick it back. In the nuts. With steel-toed boots. Essentially, if someone, anyone, kicks you, it is very mature to take the high-road and not kick them back. But it's not fun. And I'm all about fun. One hundred percent fun. One fundred percent.
Sara Wolf
#37. I have a talent for hurting things," Jack perches the rifle on his cocked hip, and it's so insufferably arrogant I want to shove him into the ball pit next to us and slash or furiously make out with him. "But we always knew that, didn't we?
Sara Wolf
#38. There's no real value in being happy.
There's no value in something that doesn't last.
Sara Wolf
#39. Love is being accepted and adored for who you are, scars and all
Sara Wolf
#40. Horror. Horrible. The things people do these days to disrespect the dead are just awful. So we're going to respect my dead friend properly." "By stuffing the chimney full of fireworks." "By stuffing the chimney full of fireworks!" She agrees.
Sara Wolf
#41. Sometimes, we can't do the things we want to do for ourselves. Sometimes we wait for someone else to do them. You can't always wait like that. You have to seek out change on your own.
Sara Wolf
#42. The sadness will last forever. And I think he was right, but I also think he was very, very wrong. It doesn't last forever. Because we don't last forever.
Sara Wolf
#43. Sometimes people need to be messed up. It reminds them life is short.
Sara Wolf
#44. You never get used to being slotted into a giant doughnut's vagina.
Sara Wolf
#45. That one was beautiful, though." She flushes. "Thank you. I started taking classes a month ago. I like them, but I dropped out because all the teacher wanted me to paint were ugly, soulless little watercolor landscapes. No feeling! No passion!
Sara Wolf
#46. When things get hard, people leave
Sara Wolf
#47. I've kept it inside this long. I can do it for a lot longer. Because I'm strong.
Sara Wolf
#48. Greedy to make things better for those you love. That isn't greed at all. That is ... well ... love. And love is always noble.
Sara Wolf
#49. I'm not the princess, I'm the goddamn dragon, and you can't seem to see that.
Sara Wolf
#50. I will pull your pancreas out through your nose and feed it back to you in a drip inserted into your anus is that clear?
Sara Wolf
#51. I'm crazy and going crazier, and I don't know how to stop it.
I don't know how to stop this hurrible darkness from eating me alive, and no one in the world is going to help me.
Sara Wolf
#52. It's the fear of what's in the dark that scares us, not the dark itself. Thanks, ancient Chinese philosophers. You guys are the best. And the deadest. But mostly the best. Jack's
Sara Wolf
#53. And he uses big words, so he's probably a huge nerd. To be fair, I do too, but that's because I'm fabulous. Jack has no such excuse.
Sara Wolf
#55. The only one who's worthy of defeating me is me! Feeling
Sara Wolf
#56. It indebts me to them. I abhor the feeling of being indebted to anyone.
Sara Wolf
#57. I love you," I blurt. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying it, but I love you.
Sara Wolf
#58. Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.
Sara Wolf
#59. You're seventeen! Why do I have to keep reminding you of that? There are soooo many women you haven't even met yet! Don't act like you're tired of the puss-puss, no guy is ever tired of the puss-puss.
Sara Wolf
#60. I'm all about that shit."
Mom shoots me the Disapproving-Mom-Subtle-Lip-Frown.
"I'm all about that poop," I correct delicately.
Sara Wolf
#61. Dad," I whine. "My friend died and I gotta go kick life in the nuts.
Sara Wolf
#62. Have to start taking things mildly seriously, now! Ugh! Just the word sends shivers down my spine. Serious. Seeeerious. Cereal-ous. Trix are for kids. College is not for kids. College is for grown-ups.
Sara Wolf
#63. Hairy monkeyballs!" I hiss. "Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!"
A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed.
"I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?
Sara Wolf
#64. Ello, love. Fancy a cuppa?"
"You're not British, Isis," Naomi says.
"I can be things," I insist.
Sara Wolf
#65. I'm surrounded by people here, but I'm completely alone
Sara Wolf
#66. The words are holloew. But that's okay. Most things are, these days.
Sara Wolf
#67. I'm going to the library to taunt an animal dumber than me. Boys count.
Sara Wolf
#68. The waitress scuttles away, and I make a shooing motion at the old couple who're still glaring.
"Don't you have something to better to work on?" I hiss. "Like golfing or eating prunes or dying?"
The old lady looks shocked.
"Okay, sorry, not dying. But seriously, prunes are good for you.
Sara Wolf
#69. Let's go. We have to confront her."
I scoff. "Confront her? That's a little mild, don't you think? I'm going to rip her tits off.
Sara Wolf
#70. Uh, you're the fashionable expert here. I just sort of throw on things that don't have holes in them and hope for the best. I read a Cosmo onece on the toilet. Does that count?
Sara Wolf
#71. Wren laughs when I kneel on the floor and try to do a breakdance head-spin. I end up taking down two people before Kayla kicks me in a friendly manner to get me to stop.
Sara Wolf
#72. People like you - you don't find very often. He'll be back." "And when he comes back, I will behead him." I announce. "You'll greet him," Kayla says sternly. "With a hug." "I will greet him with a hug. To his torso. Which will be missing a head.
Sara Wolf
#73. If all I need to do is smile, your culture is highly dependent on the shallowness of outer appearances." "Yeah," I laugh. "We know. A million dead philosophers have told us before.
Sara Wolf
#74. I will be the silent protector Gotham Kayla needs
Sara Wolf
#75. I used to not be into clothes. It's hard to be into clothes when the only thing people see about you is the fat, not the fashion.
Sara Wolf
#76. Living is really weird. You never get used to it. But it happens anyway. And sometimes you find things that make it a little more comfortable, and you try to hold on to those things, and the tighter you hold, the faster they slip away.
Sara Wolf
#77. Everything happens all the time forever, and this would be a terrifying concept if I wasn't so enlightened and in-tune with the natural forces of the universe, which include but aren't limited to; A. taco salad, B. taco salad, and C. my own glorious ass (glorioass).
Sara Wolf
#78. I would love to slap you right now, but I'm currently wielding a nine pound ball and I'm afraid that would be called murder.
Sara Wolf
#79. I'll text if there's issues. Tissues. Not tissues, tissues are disgusting and so are issues.
Sara Wolf
#80. Newsflash; not everything that
drops from your gorgeous dumb mouth is
the truth." There's a pause. "Ah, shit. I just called you gorgeous. Now I have to commit seppuku."
"Don't you dare," I mumble into her neck.
Sara Wolf
#81. Just one punch. In the eyeball. With a spoon.
Sara Wolf
#82. Listen to me carefully, sweet girl. Don't live any other way than the way that makes you happy. If you aren't happy, leave your lover. If you aren't happy, quit the job. If you aren't happy, do more to make yourself happy. Because you are the only one who can make yourself happy.
Sara Wolf
#83. It's like God airbrushed the crap out of her, ran out of paint for everyone else, looked down at all the babies he was chucking to Earth and went 'hahah whoops but check this one out it's a masterpiece'.
Sara Wolf
#84. I'm empty. I've cried out everything I had in me. I'm an empty shell waiting to be filled with what comes next.
Or I'm just being a total drama queen
Sara Wolf
#85. But this boy. This stupid, wonderful boy just might be worth it.
Sara Wolf
#86. Everything else can roast in Satan's left armpit!
Sara Wolf
#87. And then he came, and pulled her petals off one by one, forcing her to surround herself with thorns to survive. But he missed one petal. And she guards it with a tiger's ferocity.
Sara Wolf
#88. Hiding is for babies. And ninjas.
Sara Wolf
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