Quotes About Poop

#1. Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?"

Anthony Griffin

#2. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop,

Ted Nugent

#3. What I've been telling everyone that loves Carolina football is that we are going to put a team out there that, number one, is in good shape. We're going to be fit, we are going to be able to play the whole game and we're not going to poop out.

Steve Spurrier

#4. Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Tom Robbins

#5. When I see a dictionary on my desk I feel like I'm looking at some strange dog leaving a twisty piece of poop on our lawn out back.

Haruki Murakami

#6. My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

Dana Gould

#7. Excuse me, sir, you got dog poop on your shoe.

James Patterson

#8. Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

Sandra Bullock

#9. If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

Kurt Cobain

#10. You are all made of real poop.

Anne Frank

#11. You aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

Wavy Gravy

#12. And the feasts on the poop and the musicians.

C.S. Lewis

#13. Must've stepped in dog poop when I walked in the grass. And I knew EXACTLY where it happened, too. SQUISH I took my shoe off and went to the front of the room to tell Mrs. Pope about my situation. But I think Mrs. Pope thought I was trying to skip out on the pop quiz, because she gave me

Jeff Kinney

#14. Hey, if you poop on my blankets ... "
"Please. War gods do not poop on blankets..Well except for that one time..

Rick Riordan

#15. We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.

Dave Barry

#16. Sparkles also make everything better. Well, except alicorn poop."
"I don't know. I think sparkly poop is way better than regular poop."
"That's because you've never fallen into a pile of it.

Shannon Messenger

#17. Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette

Josh Stern

#18. My most smelly job was at a kennels and cattery, and I basically spent all day scooping poop.

Sara Cox

#19. Innocent parents might have thought that a musical cartoon version of a fairy tale would be a child's ideal introduction to movie magic. Yet Walt Disney taught moral lessons in the most useful way: by scaring the poop out of the little ones.

Richard Corliss

#20. It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo ... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.

Jon Stewart

#21. Drivin' the green train I'm all like, Choo-choo! Choo-choo! Can't catch me! - Oh, poop! A

Rick Riordan

#22. And it's been so long since most of our boys have sailed they hardly know a poop deck from a chamber pot!

Andrew Peterson

#23. Bug? You sack of sweat stink. I've got farts that smell sweeter than you. Think you're better than me? Poop ice cream cones, do you? Call me a bug! Rachel, let me do him now.

Kim Harrison

#24. Sometimes when the poop hits the fan we should block it and run, sometimes we should haul off and knock it for a loop back at the spinning blades. Wisdom is knowing two things. One is which time is which. The other is that no matter what you do you're gonna get crap on your hand.

Faith Hunter

#25. An hour later, Amina stood at a pay phone in a mall hallway, where poop and perfume and the grease from the food court formed the kind of atmosphere you might find in Jupiter's red spot

Mira Jacob

#26. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

Jerry Seinfeld

#27. Rat was talking so seriously, he kept saying to himself mutinously, 'But it WAS fun, though! Awful fun!' and making strange suppressed noises inside him, k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds resembling stifled snorts, or

Kenneth Grahame

#28. If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

Rick Riordan

#29. I forgot for a second that he was my ancestral enemy, and felt bad for him; then i consoled myself that bird poop brings good luck

Rob Reger

#30. Sometimes on the journey, you step in dog poop. But you don't let the whole journey be about the fact that your shoe got poop on it.

Iyanla Vanzant

#31. Over my lifetime, I've had an interesting relationship with poop...the rectum is a grand thing. My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts.

Tyler Oakley

#32. I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.

Joel McHale

#33. THAT'S MY BOX OF PRATTLES!"
"NOT ANYMORE!" "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-REX STOLE MY CANDY!"
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD-BEX SMELLS LIKE DRAGON POOP!"
"SO DOES REX!" another voice added. "STAY OUT OF THIS, LEX!

Shannon Messenger

#34. Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog ...

Dana Gould

#35. I poop in the backyard ... I wear disposable diapers.

David Duchovny

#36. It looks hard," said Michael. "Not squishy like poop.

Gary D. Robson

#37. Whenever I feel nervous, I feel like I have to poop.

Kendra Wilkinson

#38. Whilst it may be our species greatest achievement, responsible for every technological advance we have or ever will make, science is also poop and sex and boogers.

Katie McKissick

#39. Dogs are angels full of poop.

Oliver Gaspirtz

#40. "Glorious, stirring sight!" murmured Toad ... "The poetry of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here today - in next week tomorrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped- always somebody else's horizons! O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!"

Kenneth Grahame

#41. a one hump camel makes a one hump poop, and a two hump camel makes a two hump poop

Taro Gomi

#42. I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it.

Tom DeLonge

#43. Maybe that is the real reason why I don't want children: so that I don't have to touch another person's poop for the rest of my life.

Kunal Nayyar

#44. Mines!" Patsy shouts, pointing at Tim. He goes to her, rumples her scanty hair.
"See, hot Alice? Even the very young feel the pull of my magnetism. It's like an irresistible urge, a force like gravity, or - "
"Poop!

Huntley Fitzpatrick

#45. I have a natural propensity to work on big piles of poop.

Robert Pattinson

#46. Tomorrow I'll take you out to see the gold beetles. They're amazing: they eat dirt and poop out gold ore.

Lev Grossman

#47. The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop!

Angelina Jolie

#48. And onto the screen pops a couple of housewives who start having a poop fit when they see how clean their new dish soap got the dinner plates

David James Duncan

#49. Putting Windows [3.11] on top of DOS is like putting whipped cream on a road apple [horse poop].

Scott McNealy

#50. They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all three at the same time. Who knew?

Josh Duhamel

#51. If you walk the dog long enough, you'll eventually be able to get him to poop.

Tim Smith

#52. I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

Tyler Posey

#53. Marketing is essentially about feeding the poop back to diners fast enough to make them think they're still getting real food.

Douglas Coupland

#54. Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Craig Benzine

#55. The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off.

Lauren Myracle

#56. She reminded Juliet of the parrot the shopkeeper owned. Both the woman and bird belonged in cages, preferably the same cage, so the bird could poop on all that velvet and lace.

Jordan Elizabeth Mierek

#57. As a Minnesota agency nurse said, We are not just bed-making, drink-serving, poop-wiping, medication-passing assistants. We are much more.

Alexandra Robbins

#58. It's not poop, it's chocolate ... just don't try to eat it because it's full of E. coli.

L. H. Cosway

#59. Some countries have more water than others - some can afford to use clean water to flush their poop away, and some can't.

Rose George

#60. Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.

Alan K. Simpson

#61. I respect so much the work that so many women do but that's just not what I do. I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop and that people love and people tell me about their bowel movements every day.

Jamie Lee Curtis

#62. Let's just make a deal to try anything we can think of that doesn't hurt. Except pooping. If you ever poop on me, I'll leave you.

J.A. Rock

#63. Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop?
Answer: That is bird poop, too.

Kurt Vonnegut

#64. Saer is a great big poop, and you shouldn't listen to anything he says," I said, panting just a little.
"Obviously, he was trying to demoralize me."
"Men who are poops demoralize people all the time," I agreed

Katie MacAlister

#65. FYI, it isn't how I suspected. If you eat enough Cheetos you will NOT actually poop an extra-large Cheeto.

Felicia Day

#66. You're missing the point! ... We could make it rain cupcakes from the sky! Raspberry-jam pies would grow on trees, and chocolate rabbits would poop chocolate buttons!

Lisa Mantchev

#67. If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.

Doug Stanhope

#68. I'm sorry I tried to burn you in the flames of Hell on your birthday." She actually looked repentant. "It's ok." I patted her small back. "I'm sorry I made all those birds poop on your head." Her eyes narrowed for a moment. Perhaps she hadn't known I was responsible for that.

Nicole Grane

#69. Now about this turtle.
I think I'm gonna name it Oliver."
"Why's that?"
"Because he's leaving little turtle poop 'Oliver' his terrarium.

Amy Lane

#70. You think, "Aw man, I would never want somebody else's poop on my hand," but when it's your child, "Oh, it's not that bad, I'll just wash it off."

Richard Sherman

#71. The first thing I did when I decided that I was going to dive into the world of poop was look at who was doing stuff in that world. The first I came across was the World Toilet Organization. So one of the first things I did was to go to their annual show in Moscow.

Rose George

#72. I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!

Jonah Goldberg

#73. If all you do is follow the herd, you'll just be stepping in poop all day

Wayne Dyer

#74. Ram it up your poop chute.

Frank Zappa

#75. The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

Pat Paulsen

#76. A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order.

P.G. Wodehouse

#77. The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.

Stanislaw Lem

#78. For $425 you can buy pills containing real gold that make your poop sparkle. How have I lived this long without sparkly poop?

Michael Makai

#79. And maybe leprechauns will poop rainbows on your pillow.

Chloe Neill

#80. When visiting the Grand Canyon, make sure you hike into the canyon. And be careful not to fall or step in mule poop.

McKenna Shay

#81. Picture the person who intimidates you most. Now picture them crouched like a dog, pooping on the sidewalk, looking up at you, all vulnerable. We all poop. Maybe not on the sidewalk, but nobody is better than you and don't let them think they are for a minute.

Caprice Crane

#82. The motor-car went Poop-poop-poop, As it raced along the road. Who was it steered it into a pond? Ingenious Mr. Toad!

Kenneth Grahame

#83. So for some reason everybody makes this huge deal about pandas. I don't know why. They never actually do anything except eat and poop. But they're really famous." "Yeah," said Suzana. "They're like the Kardashians of zoo animals.

Dave Barry

#84. I should probably apologize for how much I swear, but fuck it. I've read that some people think swearing shows a lack of imagination and a limited vocabulary, but sometimes "darn" and "poop" and "oh heck" just don't cut it. Besides, swearing is kind of fun.

Bart Yates

#85. Life is a stew, and pot is poop.If someone stirred even a teeny-bit of poop in the stew, would you really want to eat it?

Maria Semple

#86. But right now, you need to finish this story. Because if I don't find out what happens next, I'm going to poop myself a little.

Brad Vance

#87. It is a little sad how many nights I have spent waiting for some animal to poop. The

Jeff Wells

#88. The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.

Heather Chapple

#89. We can't buy cereal with marshmallows because it makes my poop blue.

Adrienne Wilder

#90. It's not something you tell your single best friend. It'd be like rubbing your nose in the poop of my happiness.

Shannon Hale

#91. Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant.

Guy Kawasaki

#92. Mayor Resigns After Caught Tossing Dog Poop On Rival's Yard AP

Anonymous

#93. like as long as you're cleaning up some living thing's poop after age thirty, family members really respect that lifestyle choice.

Jen Kirkman

#94. I avoid the carwash when I think it might rain anytime in the near future, which means I drive around the majority of the time in a pollen and bird poop covered car. This presents a stand off between Neat Freakshow and Practical Pennypincher, and Neat Freak usually triumphs. And then it rains.

Kristin Armstrong

#95. holyshitit'sKultistandingrightthere. Poop. He poops. He poops. Right. That was all I needed to snap out of it. I pictured an image of him sitting on the porcelain throne to remind me he was just a normal man with needs like everyone. I

Mariana Zapata

#96. Teddy Roosevelt had handpicked Taft as his successor, and when Teddy Roosevelt tells you to do something, you goddamn do it or risk having him punch you in the butt so hard your poop stays inside you forever out of fear of possibly running into Roosevelt.

Daniel O'Brien

#97. What if you need to poop?" she asked instead.

Brandon Sanderson

#98. Charis disapproves of crass words like shit. Roz has offered poop, but Charis rejected it as too babyish. Her alimentary canal products? Tony has suggested. No, that sounds too coldly intellectual, said Charis. Her Gifts to the Earth.

Margaret Atwood

#99. Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

#100. Rich in odor-producing sulfides, the meaty poop of carnivores tends to smell horrendous. As for their herbivore prey? A high-fiber, leafy diet exits the body without making much of a stink.

Deuce Flanagan