Top 100 Jeff Kinney Quotes
#1. I can't divorce myself from my childhood. I try to write as much fiction as I possibly can, but there are so many things that are touchstones of my childhood like being on the swim team and playing soccer and the particularities of sports season and environments that make their way into my books.
Jeff Kinney
#2. I gravitated to Judy Blume early on. 'Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing' was my favorite, with a realistic and relatable protagonist in Peter Hatcher. When I reached the fourth grade, I made the leap to science fiction and never looked back.
Jeff Kinney
#3. It seems that when anything aimed at kids catches on, it causes the collective antennae of the older set to go up.
Jeff Kinney
#5. I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.
Jeff Kinney
#6. hopefully Mr. Blakely won't be too mad when he sees his
Jeff Kinney
#7. I just hope someone doesn't start the Cheese Touch up again, because I don't need that kind of stress in my life any more.
Jeff Kinney
#8. Must've stepped in dog poop when I walked in the grass. And I knew EXACTLY where it happened, too. SQUISH I took my shoe off and went to the front of the room to tell Mrs. Pope about my situation. But I think Mrs. Pope thought I was trying to skip out on the pop quiz, because she gave me
Jeff Kinney
#9. Merit badges are these little patches you get for learning how to do all sorts of manly stuff.
Jeff Kinney
#10. Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!
Jeff Kinney
#11. Whenever you go with the cheaper option, you end up regretting it
Jeff Kinney
#12. Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a grog, I'm willing to take their word for it.
Jeff Kinney
#13. I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.
Jeff Kinney
#14. I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.
Jeff Kinney
#15. And if you don't spend every second outdoors, people think there's someting wrong with you.
Jeff Kinney
#16. I had a very normal, very typical American childhood. My father worked for the government at the Pentagon and my mother was an educator, so we had a very average upbringing, but that's helped me in my writing because I'm writing about ordinary things.
Jeff Kinney
#17. I've realized is that every time you get something cool for your birthday or for Christmas, within a week it's being used against you. (We'll be taking this away until your English grade improves)
Jeff Kinney
#18. I can tell you that the book 'The Ugly Truth' is about puberty and all the awfulness that comes with that time in a person's life. It was definitely some different subject matter to be writing about, especially knowing some of my audience are second and third graders.
Jeff Kinney
#19. I work in the house next to where I live. We bought a smaller house that I use as my office and the place where my two employees work ... We've got tens of thousands of letters from kids stored all over the house in places you would usually put dishes and other things like that.
Jeff Kinney
#20. I'm not even the most influential person in my own house.
Jeff Kinney
#21. I really wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist, but nobody liked my work. I didn't have the control or flair that was necessary to create something that didn't look childish.
Jeff Kinney
#22. I do all my speeches in pictures. If I wrote words, I'd get locked in on them.
Jeff Kinney
#23. We're incredibly excited to welcome the 500 millionth Poptropican into our virtual world. When we started in 2007, we never could have imagined that we'd see a day when half a billion avatars inhabited Poptropica.
Jeff Kinney
#24. Kids can sniff out a moral. They can feel the heavy hand of an adult.
Jeff Kinney
#25. I started worrying that maybe you only get a certain number of prayers answered in you lifetime and I'm burning through mine too fast. I'd hate to find out later on that I used up all my chits, because I've been acting like I've got an unlimited supply.
Jeff Kinney
#26. Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.
Jeff Kinney
#27. I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget
Jeff Kinney
#28. I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!
Jeff Kinney
#30. step step step no no no plop plop plop in i go
Jeff Kinney
#31. When kids get stuck on one of our quests, we now have an app for that. It is so cool to know that now kids can use mobile technology to learn more about Poptropica's great adventures and solve its challenging quests.
Jeff Kinney
#32. I think goodreads is the best place to look for books
Jeff Kinney
#33. See, that's the problem with putting too much stock in the old days. You remember all the GOOD stuff, but you forget about the time you got spanked by your best friend's mom.
Jeff Kinney
#34. Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.
Jeff Kinney
#35. The man looks outside. The house is totally surrounded by night crawlers.
Jeff Kinney
#36. If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.
Jeff Kinney
#37. With the recent addition of a full soundtrack and the players map, millions of Poptropicans around the globe are now fully immersed in a multimedia gaming experience when they embark on our high quality adventures.
Jeff Kinney
#38. i'm just glad i'm not in the swim team this summer
Jeff Kinney
#39. When I was growing up, my house was filled with books. My mother was an educator, and my father was a history buff, so our home was a virtual library, covering every author from Beverly Cleary to James Michener.
Jeff Kinney
#41. I never thought I was writing for kids at all. It really shocked and unsettled me to hear kids were buying the books. If I'd known I was writing for kids, I might actually have spelt things out a bit more, and that would probably have killed the appeal.
Jeff Kinney
#42. I'm basically one of the best people I know.
Jeff Kinney
#43. When I started writing 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid,' I was trying to write the type of book you might enjoy, put back on your shelf, and rediscover a few years later. I hope that the book finds its way into the bathroom of every kid in America.
Jeff Kinney
#44. If I were put into a college lecture hall right now and told to pay attention for 45 minutes, it would be physically impossible for me to do. I'm one of those people who believe that ADD is a gift. It's tough to manage, but if you can harness it you can do great things.
Jeff Kinney
#45. No matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.
Jeff Kinney
#46. Looking back, I realize my favorite stories weren't in books, they were in comics. On top of being a history enthusiast, my father was also a comics fan, and he kept his stash in the top drawer of his dresser, in easy reach of a kid making a beeline to the bathroom.
Jeff Kinney
#47. I had an older brother, an older sister and a younger brother, and though I look back fondly on my childhood, I think that when you've got four siblings sharing the same resources and a single kids' bathroom, it's going to get a little tense at times.
Jeff Kinney
#48. After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.
Jeff Kinney
#49. So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.
Jeff Kinney
#50. Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.
Jeff Kinney
#51. I take comedy very seriously, and I feel very competitive.
Jeff Kinney
#52. I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.
Jeff Kinney
#53. I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that I should try to do "the right thing" because it's our choices that make us who we are. I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.
Jeff Kinney
#54. Because it's our choices that makes us who we are ...
Jeff Kinney
#55. I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.
Jeff Kinney
#56. On the first day of school, you got to be real careful where you sit. You walk into the classroom and just plunk your stuff down on any old desk, and the next thing you know the teacher is saying, 'I hope you all like where you're sitting, because these are your permanent seats.'
Jeff Kinney
#57. My advice to authors would be to try to do something original rather than to try to anticipate what the market is looking for.
Jeff Kinney
#58. Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
Jeff Kinney
#59. Hey guys i would like you to try this book you will love it!
Jeff Kinney
#60. Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.
Jeff Kinney
#61. Kids can sniff out when they are being preached to, and they don't like it. So while my books aren't amoral, they are not infused with morals or a message, either, and kids like that.
Jeff Kinney
#62. I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the perfect time to get it
Jeff Kinney
#63. My life is pretty ordinary in so many ways. I live in a town called Plainville. I have the life of an average dad. It feels like I have this secret identity as an author, and it's still very surreal to me.
Jeff Kinney
#64. I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.
Jeff Kinney
#65. First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.
Jeff Kinney
#66. I'm very excited to see the wonderful 2-D characters in Poptropica come to life in the form of 3-D toys. When I first held the characters in my hands, it felt like magic. I'm excited for kids to have the same feeling!
Jeff Kinney
#67. To come out and meet kids who have my books in their hands is kind of amazing.
Jeff Kinney
#68. You know, back in the old days adults were respected because of how wise they were, and people went to them to help settle disputes. Nowadays it's a whole different world, and half the time I wonder if grown-ups should really be in charge.
Jeff Kinney
#69. But the thing I'm finding out is some people don't really appreciate it when you'r trying to be helpful.
Jeff Kinney
#70. I draft on the computer. I have a really giant screen that attaches to my laptop, and then I have a humongous digital drawing tablet called a Cintiq. It sits at all different angles, and it's so big that it would take two people to move it.
Jeff Kinney
#71. We're extremely excited to see more than 500,000 friends around the globe be added within the first 12 hours of launching Friends on Poptropica. The reaction has been extremely positive from fans, and we're proud to bring a completely safe friends offering to kids on our virtual world.
Jeff Kinney
#72. And at least 95% of it was was totally outdated.
Jeff Kinney
#73. When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.
Jeff Kinney
#75. I'll tell you who has a lot of money, and that's Manny. I mean, that kid is RICH. A few weeks ago Mom and Dad told Manny they'd give him a quarter for every time he uses the potty without being asked. So now he carries around a gallon of water with him at all times.
Jeff Kinney
#76. I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.
Jeff Kinney
#78. Working with Dav Pilkey was a dream come true. Dav is incredibly funny, and he's been a hero of mine for a long time. It was great bringing the 'Wimpy Kid' and 'Captain Underpants' worlds together!
Jeff Kinney
#79. You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.
Jeff Kinney
#80. I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.
Jeff Kinney
#81. Hay he's a great writer and i like him a lot
Jeff Kinney
#82. Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write 'To Kill a Mockingbird.
Jeff Kinney
#83. I was an average kid who had his wimpy moments.
Jeff Kinney
#84. I remember once I had lunch with George W Bush, his father, and Condoleezza Rice. Then I went home to find my dog and my neighbour's dog fighting over a dead rabbit, and I had to separate them. I like that my home life keeps things real.
Jeff Kinney
#85. Hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!
Jeff Kinney
#86. Mom always says I need to spend less time on the couch and more time being active. But the way I see it. I'm just conserving my energy for later on. When all my friends are in their eighties and their bodies are broken down, I'll just be getting started.
Jeff Kinney
#87. it turns the shower scene was a lot harder to film than i expected
Jeff Kinney
#88. I probably should've thought about talking to Uncle Gary a lot earlier. He's been married something like four times already, so he's an EXPERT on relationships.
Jeff Kinney
#89. I think the most satisfying part about filmmaking is seeing a production in full bloom. When I write, I write in isolation.
Jeff Kinney
#90. I labored for eight years thinking I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.
Jeff Kinney
#92. When I was on the swim team as a kid, I used to hide out from my coach by going into the bathroom and hiding out in one of the stalls. And I would literally wrap myself in toilet paper so as not to get hypothermia.
Jeff Kinney
#93. Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why
is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says
people need to shave twice a day.
Jeff Kinney
#94. I don't think of cartoons or comics as being for kids.
Jeff Kinney
#95. I read the 'Harry Potter' books as I was writing my own books, and I love them, but I don't think Harry was very much like I was as a kid. He's always brave, and he's perfect in a lot of ways.
Jeff Kinney
#96. He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.
Jeff Kinney
#97. I'm not very charismatic or telegenic. I feel bad for the kids waiting three hours in line for their book to be signed.
Jeff Kinney
#98. You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.
Jeff Kinney
#99. The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.
Jeff Kinney
#100. Now there's a black market for toys at our school. Christopher Stangel brought in a bunch of Legos from home yesterday, and I hear a single brick will set you back fifty cents.
Jeff Kinney
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