Top 91 Quotes About Bathrooms
#1. Ahh! Lady Pillows. So much fluffier than mine." He took a giant whiff. "Why does everything girlie smell so delightful?" "Because we acknowledge the importance of basic hygiene. And periodically clean our bathrooms." "Brilliant. I should write that down. After all, it takes a village.
Kathy Reichs
#2. I don't think having separate bathrooms is a key to a successful marriage, if you love one another.
Ewan McGregor
#3. One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls!
Reif Larsen
#4. When I was 16, I had a job on the cleaning crew at a local hospital. I wore a pink uniform and cleaned bathrooms and buffed the hallway linoleum. Oddly, I don't recall hating the job. I recall getting choked up at the end of the summer when I went to turn in my uniform and say goodbye to the ladies.
Mary Roach
#5. First bathrooms, now cars. At least people are wearing their seat belts.
Donna Lynn Hope
#6. Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.
Tom Holt
#7. There was no glam squad, whatsoever. There were no dressing rooms. There were no bathrooms. Let's start at our base level. We didn't have toilet paper. We went to the woods to use the bathroom.
Katie Aselton
#8. He pointed toward the silhouettes on the side of the [bathrooms] instead
black cutout man, black cutout woman. The man had his legs apart, the woman had hers together. Pretty much the story of the human race in sign language.
Stephen King
#9. (Taking shelter in bathrooms is a surprisingly common phenomenon, as you probably know if you're an introvert.
Susan Cain
#10. New York City park bathrooms feel like a crime scene. You are always expecting to see yellow police tape and a chalk-outlined body.
Jim Gaffigan
#11. The secret of marriage is: separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.
Bette Davis
#12. I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
Al Yankovic
#13. I got famous in my 30s. I already had a real life and kids and responsibilities, like laundry and cleaning bathrooms. It's hard not be grounded when you have that. I think, if you get super-famous and everyone tells you you're wonderful when you're 12, it's probably a lot harder.
Stephenie Meyer
#14. For one thing, the penthouse was simply too big. Besides the seventy-one bedrooms, there were a number of living rooms, dining rooms, breakfast rooms, snack rooms, sitting rooms, standing rooms, ballrooms, bathrooms, kitchens, and an assortment of rooms that seem to have no purpose at all.
Lemony Snicket
#15. Well, I've cleaned bathrooms in a warehouse. That was pretty terrible. But I can't complain because I'm sure other people have done worse.
CeeLo Green
#16. I want to have a food truck that would just be bathrooms. I would line it up in back of the other food trucks, and I'd charge $1 for use.
Ike Barinholtz
#17. It's like, I don't think you understand, Michael Jackson's bedroom is two stories and it has, like, three bathrooms and this and that. So, when I slept in his bedroom, yes, but you understand the whole scenario.
Macaulay Culkin
#18. Afew classrooms in our school have bathrooms right in them, but I can't even use those, because every little sound you make is broadcast to the whole room
Anonymous
#19. But flirting does not come easily to someone brought up in a remote castle with tartan wallpaper in the bathrooms, bagpipes at dawn and men who wear kilts.
Rhys Bowen
#20. If I don't write down a thought - or an image or a line of poetry - the instant it comes to mind, it vanishes, which explains why I have pens and notebooks in my pants and coat pockets, the car, the bicycle basket, on one or two desks in every room including bathrooms and the kitchen.
Floyd Skloot
#21. I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.
Ned Vizzini
#22. Mozart," Julie says in a bitter chuckle, staring at the speaker. "It's supposed to be the pinnacle of art, right? This transcendent human achievement? And we use it for background noise in bathrooms. We literally shit on it.
Isaac Marion
#23. Bathrooms are, on a square foot basis, the most expensive room in the house to renovate. If you want to test your heart's fitness, try shopping for simple bathroom faucets. Add in the cost of the required valves, mixers and trims, and you may need reviving when you see the tally!
Candice Olson
#24. If I amount to anything it'll be as part of a band. That's it. I'll be playing dive bars and shitty clubs, and I'll get high in the alleys and do lines in the bathrooms, and eventually I'll OD and that'll be that." I glance ad her. "Is that the life you want?
Jasinda Wilder
#25. On Being Afraid to Use the Elementary School Bathrooms to Defecate
Son, you're complaining to the wrong man. I can shit anywhere, at any time. It's one of my finer qualities. Some might say my finest.
Justin Halpern
#26. The goblins have been after me ever since I helped the Coven drive them out of Essex. (They were gobbling up drunk people in club bathrooms, and the Mage was worried about losing regional slang.) I think the goblin who successfully offs me gets to be king.
Rainbow Rowell
#27. That's the kind of trouble you get when diverse groups of people actually cross paths with one another. That's why many of the worst things in the world happen in and around Starbucks bathrooms.
Tina Fey
#28. All we demand are the same rights as men, and slightly more stalls per restroom. And tampon machines. And those little things in the stalls so we can put our used tampons in them. And, okay, just go ahead and make the bathrooms out of tampons.
Susan B. Anthony
#29. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
George Carlin
#30. We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.'
'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.
Adam Rex
#31. I do have a fantasy life in which I can grout bathrooms - but not for a living.
Will Self
#32. From reserved parking places to separate bathrooms, the last things managers need are extravagant status symbols that tell them that they are better than the people who work for them.
Dean M. Schroeder
#33. The closest Apollo had ever come to expressing an interest in the opposite sex was the door signs of public bathrooms.
Jonathan Dunne
#34. I am very aware of the fact that I'm not right. I know hiding under tables and in bathrooms isn't normal. I know that I've carved out a life that lets me hide when I need to because I wouldn't survive any other way.
Jenny Lawson
#35. The thing I can't figure out is why I have an undeniable compulsion to clean public spaces, airplane bathrooms, restaurant flatware, hotel gyms and Chapstick containers ... yet I have no desire to make my own bed. Ever. Seriously, who made me, and where am I from?
Rachel Nichols
#36. Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff
#37. I don't use airplane bathrooms. As a rule. And I really don't like breaking rules. (It's kind of one of my rules.) I mean, if I'm going to plummet to my death, it's not going to be with my pants around my ankles.
Lauren Morrill
#38. The whole imaginative effort of Walt Whitman was really an effort to absorb and animate these multitudinous modern repetitions; and Walt Whitman would be quite capable of including in his lyric litany of optimism a list of the nine hundred and ninety-nine identical bathrooms.
G.K. Chesterton
#39. After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms ... both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
Dennis Miller
#40. Bathrooms that traded mirrors for glass walls invited prurience on occasion, but they also drew the inhabitant's gaze away from himself toward an increasingly threatened nature.
Christopher Bascom Rawlins
#41. A novel is a piece of architecture. It's not random wallowings or confessional diaries. It's a building-it has to have walls and floors and the bathrooms have to work.
John Irving
#42. too, making jokes about how old everything was at Yale, how the bathrooms
Catherine Coulter
#43. The inspiration for Moaning Myrtle was the frequent presence of a crying girl in communal bathrooms, especially at the parties and discos of my youth. This does not seem to happen in male bathrooms, so I enjoyed placing Harry and Ron in such uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory.
J.K. Rowling
#44. quicktrip isn't a gas station. it's an everything-you-really-need station. and their bathrooms are immaculate.
Rainbow Rowell
#45. I got stopped in front of the bras in Victoria's Secret; I get interrogated in airport bathrooms. I went to South Africa in January to see my family, and even there people would stop me and ask, "Sasha, who's A?" Even my grandma.
Sasha Pieterse
#46. And I have the Internet. That sounds weird, but Twitter is a lot like having a large, invisible gang of equally messed-up people who will hide with you in bathrooms and make you laugh under the pillow fort you've built in a lonely hotel room.
Jenny Lawson
#47. Wait a minute. You expect me to stay overnight in a house with four single men? Sean grinned. We're perfect gentlemen, Kim. Everyone knows that. Don't let us worry you. I'm not worried about my reputation, I'm worried about the state of the bathrooms.
Jennifer Ashley
#48. One of the biggest mistakes celebrities make is being overly friendly. They allow photo shoots in their homes, even their bedrooms and bathrooms; they send fans autographed pictures. All that serves to support viewers with a delusional relationship with the celebrity.
Park Dietz
#49. I was a hostess, I sold shoes, but I don't function well in jobs that don't have to do with what I love. I have cleaned bathrooms in theaters, I have sold wine in theaters, I have sold tickets, because I will do anything, anything, to stay in this world.
Nina Arianda
#50. September knew a number of curse words, most of which she heard the girls at school saying in the bathrooms, in hushed voices, as if the words could make things happen just by being spoken, as if they were fairy words, and had to be handled just so.
Catherynne M Valente
#51. Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
Margaret Mead
#52. The separate water foundations, park benches, bathrooms and restaurants of the Jim Crow South startled me. These experiences motivated my lifelong study of the status of African Americans and the sources of improvement in that status.
James Heckman
#53. I won't eat in a restaurant with filthy bathrooms. This isn't a hard call. They let you see the bathrooms. If the restaurant can't be bothered to replace the puck in the urinal or keep the toilets and floors clean, then just imagine what their refrigeration and work spaces look like.
Anthony Bourdain
#54. No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.
Gabrielle Zevin
#55. God didn't give Moses ten fortune cookies in a to-go box. God didn't lead the Israelites through the wilderness with a neon all-you-can-eat sign. And God doesn't speak to people in bathrooms, public or otherwise.
Geoffrey Wood
#56. We've had a great change. Dr King saw to that. I was so grateful to see the 'colored only' signs come off the water fountains and bathrooms in the south. But the struggle lives on.
Mavis Staples
#57. Airport bars are more like film sets, the bathrooms reminiscent of dormitories. Everyone is waiting to go somewhere, suspended in nowhere ...
Christy Hall
#58. I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I never thought a picture of my body would be tacked up in men's bathrooms. I hate men looking at me and thinking what they think. And I know what they think. They write and tell me.
Lynda Carter
#59. There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.
Tina Fey
#60. If you go to Europe, public bathrooms have any-gender sink areas and stalls for everyone to use. This is completely reasonable. It potentially involves the destruction of the urinal industry, which I think people would be happy to see go away.
Jill Soloway
#61. I do think the secret to a good marriage is separate bathrooms.
Heather Dubrow
#62. She wouldn't have sex with me in public bathrooms. Little things like this haunted me. I was only twenty-five.
Michelle Tea
#63. When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like a camera, everyone says it is just an environmental friendly lighting. Well, I cannot really trust it and I am not taking the risk of circulating my naked photos around.
M.F. Moonzajer
#64. In private life, human beings spend a great deal of time in seclusion behind closed doors (e.g., in bathrooms and bedrooms) and other partitions designed to shield their bodies from prying eyes. Scientists have determined that too much visual monitoring can be harmful to human health.
David B. Givens
#65. As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
Janet Evanovich
#66. I have been married for 58 years to the same woman. Our secret? Separate bathrooms.
Larry Hagman
#67. While at a biological disadvantage in competitions, women - who even make trips to restaurant bathrooms in pairs - are at a clear advantage when it comes to grouping together and the activities that accompany it: gossiping, sharing, bonding, assisting, scrapbooking, and building networks.
Sandra Tsing Loh
#68. Make sure your bathroom is clean. If you're having a girl over the house for the first time, make sure your toilet is clean, not disgusting. Guys' bathrooms are always the most disgusting thing.
Carly Aquilino
#69. How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.
Daniel Tosh
#70. These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there's something wrong with them.
David Cheriton
#71. We are a nation of 20 million bathrooms, with a humanist in every tub.
Mary McCarthy
#72. Nothing I have witnessed, from lava to crustacean, assailed me liked the caked debris haunting that small plastic soap hammock in the smaller of the bathrooms. Nausea is not a sufficient word.
Werner Herzog
#73. I always sleep on my own. I can't sleep with somebody else. Always separate bedrooms, bathrooms and closets. I'm very individual and I want my own space.
Bruno Tonioli
#74. Men never had to deal with this, Faith thought. Men didn't hide in bathrooms and wrestle microfiber and pantyhose. Totally not fair. Men had it easy. Did men get bikini waxed and wear uncomfortable underwear? No, they did not. Faith would bet her life that a man had invented thongs. Men sucked.
Kristan Higgins
#75. I control it by being painfully honest about just how crazy I am. I control it by allowing myself to hide in bathrooms and under tables during important events. And sometimes I control it by letting it control me, because I have no other choice.
Jenny Lawson
#76. I learned my "facts of life" on toilet walls. I'd walk up in school bathrooms and there would be crude drawings and figures engaged in sex. That's how I learned.
Liam Neeson
#78. Oh, cold world
I have grown so weary of you and all your horrible bathrooms.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#79. Oh my gods, when do you not sport wood? There are bathrooms in the back, so go burp the worm or whatever.
Regin
Kresley Cole
#80. I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
Leslie Nielsen
#81. I learned a lot about what it was like to have to use different hotels and not use the bathrooms, which made me more determined to be an activist.
Bonnie Raitt
#82. My mother had not acted for ten years. Not since a reviewer wrote that her portrayal of Lady Macbeth put him in mind of an exasperated society hostess burdened with unmannerly guests who had lost the new tennis balls, left the bathrooms in a mess, and finished the gin.
Victoria Clayton
#83. Even though the sewer pipelines reach far into our houses with their tentacles, they are carefully hidden from view and we are happily ignorant of the invisible Venice of shit underlying our bathrooms, bedrooms, dance halls, and parliaments.
Milan Kundera
#84. Yes, a war is inevitable. Firstly, there's you fellows who can't be trusted. And then there's the multitude who mean to have bathrooms and white enamel. Millions of them; all over the world. Not merely here. And there aren't enough bathrooms and white enamel in the world to go round.
Ford Madox Ford
#85. A country without bordellos is like a house without bathrooms.
Marlene Dietrich
#86. There simply aren't any grand moments in life, and we surely don't live in those moments. No, we live in the utterly mundane. We exist in the bathrooms, bedrooms, living rooms, and hallways of life. This is where the character of our life is set. This is where we live the life of faith.
Paul David Tripp
#87. No, I don't work here, I'm taking pictures of messy bathrooms for a photo essay on the American West. But I'm always up for clean, so if you want to pitch in, I've got Pine Sol and a sponge in my car ... It's that VW microbus parked next to the dumpster, and you don't need a key, just pull hard.
Pansy Schneider-Horst
#88. It's Salvation. When Jen told me I had a vision. A vision Rena. I think I saw the blessed mother smiling and she was hold ing a loofa.
[In regards to moving out of dorms and having three bathrooms between 4 roomates]
Nora Roberts
#89. There is something about a bathroom that feels like a fortress. A closed bathroom door may only be about two inches of plywood, but it feels like an iron bar.
Ursula Vernon
#90. I have a public bathroom rating system that I keep in my head, and anything that I think rates lower than two stars, I won't even enter.
Sally J. Pla
#91. You must know that it is by the state of the lavatory that a family is judged.
Pope John XXIII
