Top 100 Quotes About A Jackass
#1. When you're problem solving with a team and somebody has an idea separate the idea from the person talking, because once in a while a jackass might come up with something useful.
Rachel Brady
#2. The look of success, when it is worn a certain way, would infuriate a jackass.
Albert Camus
#3. A pack of jackasses led by a lion is superior to a pack of lions led by a jackass.
George Washington
#4. The rasp in his voice did her in. It wasn't the lazy boredom of a jackass who wanted a warm place to stick his dick. It was edgy.
Kit Rocha
#5. The penguins love Emma. They waddle around, dive in and out of their pool, call out to her. She laughs. "They sound like donkeys!"
"Maybe you can talk to donkeys, too," Dr. Milligan smiles.
Emma nods. "I can. Sometimes Galen can be a jackass.
Anna Banks
#6. What happens when someone throws you against a wall or tells you you're a jackass or puts you down or calls you bad names? It goes into your body. We hold it in our body. If we don't have a way to let that go and release that, it becomes sickness eventually.
Eve Ensler
#7. - He's arrogant, and he sleeps with everything he can get his filthy hands on. Most of time, I just want to claw his creepy eyes out. How could I like him? He's a jackass.
- And girls love jackasses. That's why I can't get a date. I'm too damn nice.
Kody Keplinger
#8. When people say that animal rescuers are crazy, what they really mean is that animal rescuers share a number of fundamental beliefs that makes them easy to marginalize. Among those is the belief that Rene Descartes was a jackass.
Steven Kotler
#9. I felt like people really do their best work when they're having a really good time and feel safe to push the envelope and make a jackass out of themselves.
Clark Gregg
#10. Comparing John to James is like comparing a racehorse to a jackass.
Donna Andersen
#11. You're hammered, Jack!" Jenna yells back.
The male voice laughs. "Hammered Jack. Jack hammer. I'm a jackhammer."
"You're a jackass," she shouts
Chelsea Fine
#12. If your going to be a jackass then do it outside of your home, as your home is supposed to be a place of love and safety, it's your sanctuary from the outside world. The only place where we can truly be accepted.
Lisa Marie Main
#13. KERRYANNE: Paul didn't think it was worthwhile.
KYLE: Paul's a jackass. Well he's not in your life anymore so you're free to do whatever the heck you want ain't you?
Jordan Silver
#14. My voice of reason is always Lola. "You're a jackass."
"You only say that when I'm being your voice of reason."
"Out of my head, witch. And don't piss me off, I tell her. "I'll buy you underwear one size too small for Christmas and make you hate life.
Christina Lauren
#15. They?" he said, sounding apprehensive.
"Me. They're like me."
"Don't be a jackass," Roswell said, but not meanly. "No one's like you.
Brenna Yovanoff
#16. He's practically stalking me. He just won't let it go. He's just being ... he's being a jackass with a flaky jackass crust and a delicious jackass filling."
"So he's jackass pie?
Molly Harper
#17. According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can' has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind.
Conan O'Brien
#18. I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, "Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now." So it's hard to say.
Nick Offerman
#19. All work and no play may make Jim a dull boy, but no work and all play makes Jim all kinds of a jackass.
William Randolph Hearst
#20. Because a jackass brays doesn't mean you have to take it to heart.
Jeanne Phillips
#21. The women take so little stock
In what I do or say
They'd sooner leave their cosseting
To hear a jackass bray ...
William Butler Yeats
#22. But love doesn't make a mean drunk not a mean drunk or a narcissist not a narcissist or a jackass not a jackass.
Cheryl Strayed
#23. I was a jackass in many ways. I projected that cruelty towards others, that kid whose hand I was wringing. If I could have hurt a hundred weaklings - weaker than me, and I was already very weak - I would. I was dying to hurt somebody, to pay it forward.
Gary Shteyngart
#24. I have felt the swaying of the elephant's shoulders;
and now you want me to climb
on a jackass? Try to be serious.
Mirabai
#25. Thus a person can be a Buddha one minute and a jackass three minutes later. You don't just become Buddha at the moment of your first enlightenment experience and then stay Buddha forever.
Brad Warner
#26. Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.
Greg Gutfeld
#28. When you call upon a Thoroughbred, he gives you all the speed, strength of heart and sinew in him. When you call on a jackass, he kicks.
Patricia Neal
#29. The thing about letting yourself fall in love with a jackass was - you might be in love, but he was still a jackass.
Karen Robards
#30. He's practicing his Constitutional right to be a jackass.
Julie Miller
#31. Murray said, "Is this Heaven?"
The Voice said, "This is no place as you understand place."
Murray was embarrassed, but the next question had to be asked. "Pardon me if I sound like a jackass. Are you God?
Isaac Asimov
#33. Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
#34. You look more of less the same."
She strode right past him. "And you still look like a jackass," she said sweetly.
Sarah J. Maas
#35. A woman could love a jackass. She could not love a son of a bitch. Many have tried, Gideon. Many have tried.
Deanna Raybourn
#36. A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.
Sam Rayburn
#37. You'd better be careful, they are going to revoke your vampire license if you get any more romantic and mushy."
"Don't worry," Burnett said, his eyes pinched as if serious. "I can still be a jackass, and kick ass, when it's called for.
C.C. Hunter
#38. Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking contest when pigs fly.
Tara Sivec
#39. I once told Nixon that the Presidency is like being a jackass caught in a hail storm. You've got to just stand there and take it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
#40. What?' Noah looked at me, all innocence.
'You're not shy.'
'No?'
'No,' I said, narrowing my eyes. 'And pretending to be makes you look like a jackass.'
Noah feigned offense. 'You've wounded me to the core with your profane characterization.'
'Pass the tissues.
Michelle Hodkin
#41. Just because a jackass brays does not mean you have to pay attention.
Jeanne Phillips
#42. does." Not enough of it to avoid dating a jackass like Jeff, but solving other people's problems was often easier than taking care of your own. I considered
John Connolly
#43. Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
#44. You idiot! You misbegotten son of a jinn's meeting with a jackass, may the grave of your maternal grandmother be defiled by the dung of ten thousand syphilitic she-camels!
Anne McCaffrey
#45. And I will not be beaten by that jackass."
"Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass.
Eoin Colfer
#46. Listen, I gather you have a problem working with a psychic. Believe me, I don't like working with a jackass any better.
Kim Harrington
#47. Maybe you can talk to donkeys, too," Dr. Milligan smiles. Emma nods. "I can sometimes Galen can be a jackass."
"That hurts my feelings, Emma," Galen says, trying to look hurt.
Anna Banks
#48. Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
H.L. Mencken
#49. I have learned that one of the most important rules in politics is poise - which means looking like an owl after you have behaved like a jackass.
Ronald Reagan
#50. Don't try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.
Brene Brown
#51. Take your patience pill ... You can be joyous, but you can't be a jackass.
Michael Nutter
#52. That's where I'm comfortable - playing a jackass on the scene, rolling in with my pocket watch and my buffoon hairdo, with my shoes.
Alan Tudyk
#53. A person without her or his own truth ain't a person at all, Ida said. Anybody who tells you different - is a jackass, and no longer deserves to be called human being.
Tom Spanbauer
#54. I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.
Nick Offerman
#55. I wish for you four animals: a mink on the shoulders, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all. To you!
John Oldale
#56. Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass ... but you just pushed my jackass button.
Bill Engvall
#57. time to time, someone will tell me something so patently unbelievable that I manage not to understand the words as they're spoken. This usually leads to my blathering something incredibly insensitive or incongruous which makes me look like a tremendous jackass. This was one of those moments.
J.P. Sloan
#58. The way that I look at it is that, when we film for eight months straight for a new 'Jackass' movie, I know that I'm going to wind up with at least two broken bones. I don't know when it's going to happen, but you can't contemplate how you're going to fall and what's going to happen.
Bam Margera
#59. Is everything okay with you and Jackass over there?" "I can hear you," Seth replied, dumping the eggs in a heated skillet.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#60. I can take a joke," she tells me, sounding insulted.
"Yeah? When?"
"When it's not being delivered by a childish jackass who thinks he's God's gift to women."
"I am not childish." God's gift on the other hand? My record speaks for itself.
"Oh, bite me."
I wish.
Emma Chase
#61. A burger and fries will be fine, servant."
"I appreciate your order, jackass."
"As you should, beauty.
Bijou Hunter
#62. I moved to the counter. A note was propped on the register. Welcome home, Ms. Lane. Arrogant, overconfident jackass.
Karen Marie Moning
#63. You're a disgusting, shallow, womanizing jackass, and I hope that soda stains your preppy little shirt." Just before I marched away, i looked over my shoulder and added, "And my name isn't Duffy. it's Bianca. we've been in the same homeroom since middle school, you selfabsorbed son of a bitch.
Kody Keplinger
#64. You jackass. We're all going to die here. You know that, right?' Harrier said.
Yeah, Eugens said shakily. ' ... Guess I might as well die here with you as out on the desert with a bunch of other jackasses.
Mercedes Lackey
#65. If I were marooned here till it suited my overbearing, domineering, pig-headed jackass of a husband to finish risking his stupid neck, I'd use the time to see what I could spot.
Diana Gabaldon
#66. Any jackass can kick down a barn. It takes a carpenter to build on.
Sam Rayburn
#67. The title of the class was listed in fresh dark ink: Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass.
Patrick Rothfuss
#68. Fine," she hoisted her purse higher and her gaze snagged on the delicious bulge of his male butt hugged so lovingly in a pair of khaki cargo shorts. Wow. Talk about a glutenous maximus that defied gravity. Even though he was a complete jackass, she couldn't help but drool.
Julie Ann Walker
#69. I made some friends for life, the way I usually make them. Any jackass can be pleasant company, but if people help you when you're at your worst, that's a friend.
Rick Bragg
#70. An artist is like a woman who can do nothing but love, and who succumbs to every stray male jackass.
Heinrich Boll
#71. 'He'll probably end up angling for a threesome. Then I'll have to get my animal name so I can be a part of the group. So Native American of you white boys. I'll probably go for something like Falcon. Or Wolf.'
'Jackass suits you better,' Anna intones.
T.J. Klune
#72. Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
Mark Twain
#73. A group of ghosts is a fraid. No, really. I don't know what jackass came up with that one, but it's a real thing. A fraid of ghosts. Clearly, they've never seen a group of ghosts. Otherwise it'd be a "Pants-Shitting Terror" of ghosts.
Stephen Blackmoore
#74. His first two clients were the last two persons hanged in the Maycomb County jail. Atticus had urged them to accept the state's generosity in allowing them to plead Guilty to second-degree murder and escape with their lives, but they were Haverfords, in Maycomb County a name synonymous with jackass.
Harper Lee
#75. My proudest moment was when I was in high school, some jackass tried to give me a wedgy. I came prepared, I went commando. It tickled.
Jared Leto
#76. He squinted, as if he could shut out my damned, unreasonable request, then relaxed and opened his eyes again. "I'm an Aeolus, okay?"
"A what?" Kat asked.
"Like on a breast?" Scott looked at him in confusion. Kat buried her face in one of her hands.
"Like a windkeeper, you jackass.
Robert J. Crane
#77. In one night, I went from a man in complete control over everything in my life to a mixed-up mess, falling for a chick way more fucked up than I ever could have imagined. Falling for her? Fuck, try already fallen, jackass.
Willow Madison
#78. The woman held out a hand to Chloe. "Name's Kitty."
"This is a very vivid hallucination," Chloe told her.
"And that's Jack ... short for jackass," Kitty continued as if Chloe hadn't spoken.
Melissa Marr
#79. You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass!
Rachel Caine
#80. Can you see the future, Kerbouchard?"
"Who would wish to? Our lives hold a veil between anticipation and horror. Anticipation is the carrot suspended before the jackass to keep him moving forward. Horror is what he would see if he took his eyes off the carrot.
Louis L'Amour
#81. He slammed the door shut in Ian's face, the lock clicking into place. Ian hit it again with his fist before roaring, If I were a pervert, I'd be looking for something a damn bit more attractive than you, jackass. And definitely someone that smelled alive.
Rose Wynters
#82. Yup," Heather replied. "Some jackass tries to prick me and I'm gonna prick him right back! Leave the bottle, bucko. Save ya a trip.
Jacob D. Lochner
#83. When wine drinkers tell me they taste notes of cherries, tobacco and rose petals, usually all I can detect is a whole lot of jackass.
Joel Stein
#84. I don't think it's cool when I have to announce that I'm gluten-free; in fact, I feel like a total jackass 99.9 percent of the time.
April Peveteaux
#85. This someone you were talking with wouldn't be that Frost fellow, would it?" Ewan's crisp accent floated into the kitchen like a brisk breeze. "The last thing you need is to be talking to that moronic jackass.
Monica Burns
#86. I don't want easy. I want the impossible. I want love so thick, I drown in it; it's the only thing worth having and, I'm sorry Kona, you're a nice guy when you're not acting like an entitled jackass, but I really don't think you're capable of being anything more than that.
Eden Butler
#87. But the reality is we often become our kindest, most ethical selves only by seeing what it feels like to be a selfish jackass first.
Cheryl Strayed
#88. On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.
Larry Correia
#89. TEXAN: "Where are you from?" HARVARD STUDENT: "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." TEXAN: "OK, where are you from, jackass?" - Variation on an old joke
Ammon Shea
#90. You once asked if I told Maxon about you, and I did. He knows exactly what a spineless, ungrateful jackass you are.
Kiera Cass
#91. You stupid jackass," Ian said.
"Who's got the crush on a worm, bro? You gonna call me stupid?
Stephenie Meyer
#92. I'm glad I found you."
"Gee, that makes exactly one of us," I muttered, not bothering to look at him. "Say, don't you have a wife to go bone?"
"You knew I was married all along, Topher." He sounded weary, as though I was being bothersome. Jackass.
Amelia C. Gormley
#93. Fuck you. Hunter (I decided not to call him Liam anymore - Liam was a nice name for a nice guy, and it didn't fit this bastard at all) glanced at his friend, then rubbed a hand over his face. For a minute he looked tired. Jackass. I was going to laugh at his funeral.
Joanna Wylde
#94. Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.
Sam Rayburn
#95. Air ye deaf, lass?
I think. He might have called me a hairy jackass
Karen Marie Moning
#96. The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them.
Louis C.K.
#97. Who would have thought working for an angry jackass would result in my getting fucked up against a cold window at work and liking it?
Christina Lauren
#98. [He] was always here to offer cups of good clear Walden Pond, or shout down the deep well of Shakespeare and listen, with satisfaction, for echoes. Here the lion and the hartebeest lay together, here the jackass became a unicorn.
Ray Bradbury
#99. And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass.
Elizabeth Eulberg
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