Top 100 Pee Pee Quotes
#1. To be a true poet is to become God.
I tried to explain this to my friends on Heaven's Gate. 'Piss, shit,' I said. 'Asshole motherfucker, goddamn shit goddamn. Cunt. Pee-pee cunt. Goddamn!'
They shook their heads and smiled, and walked away. Great poets are rarely understood in their own day.
Dan Simmons
#2. But I ain't puttin' it in de street. Ah'm tellin' you.'
'Ah jus lak uh chicken. Chicken drink water, but he don't pee-pee.
Zora Neale Hurston
#3. When I was your age, I made the most horrendous mistakes. And I enjoyed every minute of it.
At least go out and get your pee-pee wet.
Sarah Vaughn
#4. She did know that once tattooed one could no longer expect to lie for all eternity in an orthodox Jewish cemetery. They wouldn't even bury women with pierced ears. A strange theory of mutilation from the people who invented cutting the skin off the pee-pee.
Tom Robbins
#5. Will call him a she when the pee-pee is gone. Says Brave is to endure stares, jeers, prejudice. He won't.
Anne Lamott
#6. I'm wondering if you can speed this story up a bit," Ms. Jordan said. "I spilled pudding on Missy Trillin's head while she was taking a pee." "I see." Ms. Jordan nodded. "Now I think we're getting somewhere.
James Patterson
#7. What?
she told you to pee in a cup, i think that means get lost.
Michele Jaffe
#8. Dogs are here to remind us life really is a simple thing. You eat, sleep, take walks, and pee when you must. That's about all there is. They are quick to forgive trespasses and assume strangers will be kind.
Jonathan Carroll
#9. If they're old enough to pee, they're old enough for me.
Stephen King
#10. Changing from a player to a coach, I felt like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I didn't know where to begin.
Pee Wee Reese
#11. She got to her feet and tucked her fingers into her armpits to warm them, glaring at Briar and Parahan as she walked over to the mules. It wasn't fair that men didn't have to twist themselves into knots to pee!
Tamora Pierce
#12. If I have to pee during the movie, I'm using this cup."
"It's what you do best," Gabe said.
Rainbow Rowell
#13. That was just too embarrassing, although there was a sort of poetic justice to peeing on your enemies when they weren't able to get to you. And it wasn't like they would kill me less painfully if I didn't pee on them.
Elle Casey
#14. And workers who needed to go to the bathroom weren't allowed to take a break. They were forced to pee right on the slaughterhouse floor, near meat that people would soon be eating.
Eric Schlosser
#16. Out," I instructed as I began peeling my clothes from my body. "I am going to pee for twenty-seven minutes, and then I'm going to shower for forty-two minutes, followed by scrubbing my teeth for sixty-one minutes.
Robyn Peterman
#17. It was you, you who brought me the pardon. Pee on me, won't you. It would be like benediction. O, what a sleepwalker I have been!
Henry Miller
#18. John: "Poor John. Who says poor John? Don't everybody sob at once! My God, if I went up in flames there's not a living soul who'd pee on me to put the fire out!"
Richard: "Let's strike a flint and see.
James Goldman
#19. The only slight disconcertance being that in the middle of looking at a paintings [in the Museum of Modern Art] she always found herself desperately needing to take a pee. And grandmother's voice in her ear.
'My dear, if you really have to, only clean, very clean rest rooms will do.
J.P. Donleavy
#20. I went to the entrance to the restroom, where the hallway did a sharp bend so nobody could peek into the girls' pee-palace.
Lilith Saintcrow
#21. You can hate a man for many reasons. Color is not one of them.
Pee Wee Reese
#22. I moved up beside Jamie."I have to go."
She frowned at me. "Where?"
I pressed a hand to the bottom of my belly. "My bladder.It-"
Ah." She gave a small laugh. "We interrupt this life-or-death situation for a pregnancy pee break. Don't see that in the movies, do you?
Kelley Armstrong
#23. The first thing was not to panic, because all panic does is escalate the problem. (This is the first mistake that people make in situations like this: the cats lose their pee and the humans lose their shit.)
Jackson Galaxy
#24. As a young father it's important to remember that, when you're at the beach, there's a BIG difference between telling your five year old son to just go pee in the ocean and telling him to get in the water at least waist deep and then pee in the ocean.
Spuds Crawford
#25. No matter how many shows I've done, as soon as they say it's time to start, I get that nervous sensation and feel like I have to pee. So that's where my mind is. That and making it to the end of the runway and back as fast as I can.
Gisele Bundchen
#26. There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.
Tammy Blackwell
#27. Forget 'pray the gay away.' I you're more turned on by an AR-15 than a pair of tits, time for some serious therapy. Time for all you gun-humpers to come out of the closet. Is this really about the 2nd Amendment and self-defense
or just a pathetic fetish for guys with tiny pee-pees?
Quentin R. Bufogle
#28. It's so pathetic, the tough-guy posturing, but so sinister, because, to put it plainly, that's how black men die. Insecure, pee-pants white men assume that any disagreement is a life-threatening situation.
Lindy West
#29. Try to foresee now everything that might make you interrupt your reading. Cigarettes within reach, if you smoke, and the ashtray. Anything else? Do you have to pee? All right, you know best.
Italo Calvino
#30. That's better," Mino said with a satisfied nod. "Anybody else wanna pee their pants and cry for their mommy?
James Dashner
#31. Down the toilet, lookit me,
What a silly thing ta do!
Hope nobody takes a pee,
Yippy dippy dippy doo ...
Thomas Pynchon
#32. Liv! The perpetrator has probably not returned to the scene of the crime. Pee Diddy is long gone by now.
Jesse Andrews
#33. Crying's okay while it lasts, but you can only do it for so long. And it's weird to do it when you apparently can't make tears anymore (did this mean I wouldn't pee or sweat, either?). Anyway, eventually you're done, and you have to figure out what to do next.
MaryJanice Davidson
#34. On the freak-out scale, she was past the 'heebie-jeebies' and into 'pee yourself'.
Lexi George
#35. Should I have Jackson bring Kat? Or is he going to pee on her leg or something crazy?"
I'm not going to pee on anyone." Andrew growled, and Mackenzie stepped aside and let him pass.
Moira Rogers
#36. Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other.
Arthur C. Clarke
#37. Weetzie and My Secret Agent Lover Man and Dirk and Duck and Cherokee and Witch Baby and Slinkster Dog and Go-Go Girl and the puppies Pee Wee, Wee Wee, Teenie Wee, Tiki Tee, and Tee Pee were driving down Hollywood Boulevard on their way to the Tick Tock Tea Room for turkey platters.
Francesca Lia Block
#38. Trav, if you cross us
"
"I know. You'll get me. I'll try not to pee all over myself in terror.
Rachel Caine
#40. Anybody else wanna pee their pants and cry for mommy?
James Dashner
#42. She shuddered. Pee talkers baffled her. How could they do that? Give you no opportunity to not listen?
Mira Jacob
#43. I was a quarterback in pee-wee football. I always wanted to be quarterback. They're the leaders, they make the calls. It didn't work out because I didn't have the arm. I also played wide receiver my senior year in high school.
Junior Seau
#44. called Jeff back in Chicago. "You grew up way out in the country with a bunch of brothers. Did you ever pee in cups and, like, leave them around?" Jeff was incredulous. "What? No! That's disgusting." One thousand points for Jeff.
Tina Fey
#45. When I write my book I'm going to tell people that if they happen to forget their wide-mouth jar, they should pee far enough away from their position so it doesn't ruin their hiding spot.
Susan Juby
#46. Being Captain of the Dodgers meant representing an organization committed to winning and trying to keep it going. We could have won every year if the breaks had gone right.
Pee Wee Reese
#47. Mother of God, it's huuuuge!" "I know." "No, seriously." "I know." "Fuck me. I think I'm about to pee myself
Kylie Scott
#48. We're all allowed to be scared and pee in our pans once in a while.
Cameron Jace
#49. Why did they do it? Beats the hell out of me. I was just a scared kid from Kentucky, and these guys had been up in the majors for a while. I guess it was because I was just such a helluva nice kid - if you'll accept that.
Pee Wee Reese
#50. After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off."
"But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body. Harris is."
"It's my damn name. And now I have to pee. It's like my bladder has to prove something."
"Pee at the bank. Consider it a deposit.
J.D. Robb
#51. I've got to take a pee. Remember, don't open for anyone. Even if Charlie friggin' Hunnam shows up on his Harley with his hot little white sneakers, don't open the damn door.
Tess Oliver
#52. All I know is that you cut off all of my hair and dyed it who-knows-what-color, and you used your pee to do it.
Josephine Angelini
#53. Aunty," she said, cordially, "why don't you go pee in your hat?
Harper Lee
#54. This is the best of times and the worst of times. So what else is new? The bad news is that the Martians have landed in Manhattan, and have checked in at the Waldorf-Astoria. The good news is that they only eat homeless people of all colors, and they pee gasoline.
Kurt Vonnegut
#55. A man could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from a distance of sixty feet. But he couldn't vomit into a bucket or pee into a pot only two feet away. It was one of the great mysteries of life.
Maggie Osborne
#56. If you rush in and out of the clubhouse, you rush in and out of baseball.
Pee Wee Reese
#57. I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I knew were the Jerry Seinfeld-type comedians of the world, and that's what I thought live performance comedy was all about.
Scott Aukerman
#58. The first male to pee on me, however, would pay with his balls.
Kylie Scott
#59. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer.
Bruce Graham
#60. The joy's gone out of me like the pee from a small boy in a swimming pool on a hot day.
Neil Gaiman
#62. Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.
Jenna Jameson
#64. Speak of the devil. He came into the room, and his amiable expression instantly hardened when he saw that Hill had arrived. Nick put his arm around her and kissed her temple. Not for the first time, she was grateful he didn't lift his leg and pee on her to mark his territory in front of the agent.
Marie Force
#65. You're the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee. - E-CARD
Darynda Jones
#67. Just like an alley in New York -like every alley in the world, apparently- it smelled like cat pee.
Cassandra Clare
#68. Are you upset that you can't stomp around like a caveman and pee on my leg?" I poked his shoulder. "I'm not a tree, Your Highness.
Nichole Chase
#70. Stop kicking me! I do not want to pee right now!
Martin Leicht
#71. As I squatted on the grass at the edge of the woods, the pee felt hot between my legs. I watched in puddle in the dirt, the smell of it rising into the night. There was no difference between my piss and June's. That's what i thought when I looked at the dark circle on the ground. Piss is Piss.
Sue Monk Kidd
#72. You're probably scare, and nervous, and just about ready to pee your pants. But don't run from your fear. Embrace it! Because believe me, the best things in life are worth fighting for.
Victoria Jamieson
#73. Oh, for heaven's sake, Harper, I didn't just pee on the floor. My water broke.'
'What water?' He blinked, then went pale as a corpse. 'That water. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. Sit. Sit, or ... I'll get-'
An ambulance. The marines.
'My mother.
Nora Roberts
#74. The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off.
Lauren Myracle
#75. Chyna Shepherd, untouched and alive and able to pee.
Dean Koontz
#76. That's the main thing I learned in that job - how to be a considerate coworker. Cover the phones for someone so they can pee. Punch someone's time card in for them after lunch so they can stop and buy a birthday card. Help people when their register doesn't add up. Don't be a tattletale.
Tina Fey
#77. You can watch me pee! It's okay! Here look, I'm peeing! I'm peeing! You can stop uprooting yourself.
Elle Casey
#78. So planning something big."
"If this is the work of the Overtakers, we've never seen anything like it."
"It is," a voice said behind them. Maybeck slipped in alongside of them.
"You about scared the pee out of me!" Charlene complained.
Ridley Pearson
#79. It occurred to me, while sitting on the cold white toilet seat pretending to pee in order to avoid Bob, that I much preferred having the power over the man and deciding when to cut the cord, over being powerless and on the receiving end of the silent fade-away.
Meredith Schorr
#80. Stop it. If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna go find something of yours and pee on it, I swear.
Alice Clayton
#81. His eyes on me with a look in them that could only be described as un ... hap ... pee. Uh-oh.
Kristen Ashley
#82. Might as well pee on 'em, I decided.
Elle Casey
#83. Some of us learned long ago not to pee in the pool in which we swim., seeing the error in thinking that wealth-at-any-cost could buy you a new pool.
Karla Black
#84. Here I am with a seriously hunky guy and I'm covered in demon pee. Why does the universe hate me?
Jana Oliver
#85. [T]he princesses were beautiful as the day is long and so noble they, they could pee through a dozen mattresses-
Terry Pratchett
#86. If you had a son, it would be a great thing to have him grow up to be just like Gil Hodges.
Pee Wee Reese
#87. He appears beside me and hands me the gun. Guess I'm getting used to the disappearing and reappearing act of his. I only had a slight urge to pee my pants.
Jennifer Harlow
#88. I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants.
Phil Torcivia
#89. I had only played five games in my senior year in high school. I was not large enough. Hell, when I graduated, I was about five foot four and weighed 120 pounds. I didn't go with the Dodgers until spring training of 1940 and I weighed all of 155 pounds soaking wet.
Pee Wee Reese
#91. You're here. I'm here. I love you. I'm gonna pee all over the floor about it.
Jen Sincero
#92. There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin'. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
#93. Boys have outdoor plumbing. Girls have indoor plumbing. If we tried to pee standing up, it would just dribble down our legs.
Maya Van Wagenen
#94. Brooklyn was the most wonderful city a man could play in, and the fans there were the most loyal there were.
Pee Wee Reese
#95. He looked like such a Republican. He dressed like Pee-Wee Herman. But had I known what he had done when I was reading about him, I might have thought different.
Matthew Bright
#96. You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time.
Thank you. Do you want something?
Neil Gaiman
#97. My feet hurt, my back hurt, and I really needed to pee. Yeah, I was feeling really powerful.
Devon Monk
#98. Okay. Ground rules," I said, and locked gazes with Eli. "I pee alone and I shower alone. Some things need to remain a mystery, and those are two I firmly believe in.
Elle Jasper
#99. Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.
Chuck Palahniuk
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