Quotes About Pee

#1. But I don't know. Pee-wee just kind of popped out one day, pretty much fully fleshed-out and fully formed.

Paul Reubens

#2. If the job requires a drug test, make sure the urine you smuggle in belongs to a human. Dog pee isn't going to fool anyone, and collecting it will not be as easy as you think.

Gina Covarrubias

#3. Alright baby." I grab the soup and my purse. "I think I'm ready to go repel a sad boy. I got my ring, my hickey, a naked face, glasses, and conservative hair, unless you also need to pee on my leg to ensure he picks up your scent?

Gisele Walko

#4. But isn't whipping some poor bastard's ass what Dominatrices do? I mean,at least that's what they do in pornos. Oh God, you don't want to pee on me do you? ". She shot him a dirty look and he grinned. "What?

Ann Mayburn

#5. Sometimes we pee on each other before we go on stage.

Trent Reznor

#6. Don't you dare pee on me.

Roni Loren

#7. Remember when you told your sister how scared you were of monsters under your bed? Hah. Hah! She scared you good when she hid under there and jumped out when you got up to go pee after the lights were turned off that night!

L.R.W. Lee

#8. Since Jeannie is a big believer in attachment parenting and I'm a spineless coward, we have instituted an open-door policy, meaning if one of our kids has a nightmare, they are welcome to come in our room and pee in our bed. Luckily this only happens every night.

Jim Gaffigan

#9. Internal bleeding?"
"Indeed," she said, gesturing to a bag of light red fluid. "You pee blood as we speak."
I felt down to my nether regions and blushed. There was a tube in my wee-wee. Rei smiled gleefully.

B. Justin Shier

#10. This is the only profession in which another human being can crap, pee and puke on you and you still think they're cute.

A.D. Starrling

#11. Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.

Charles Bukowski

#12. Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!

Michael Bassey Johnson

#13. I felt small, like one does when the distance between stars occasionally asserts itself into your understanding, like when your own death's inevitability leaps in front of you in the middle of the night when you get up to pee.

Stan Goff

#14. If I wasn't a decent woman I'd heist a leg and pee in your ear until it washed out that stinking pile of crap you call brains.

Jim Thompson

#15. Look, Candida, I don't want to pee on your picnic ... -Ruby

Nina Malkin

#16. Since it seems your marking your territory , why don't you go ahead and pee on her while you're at it ? " ~ Cal

Nicole Reed

#17. I die and go to a library? Sure, it could be worse, but I've spent a lot of time in libraries this year. Quite enough time, really. Do I have to stay forever? Where do I go pee?

Brent Weeks

#18. his career had just taken a great leap forward, he was going to pee in his chief's toilet.

Jose Saramago

#19. Whenever I start thinking about death, it always cheers me up to think about my funeral and my tombstone (which, by the way, will say "Here lies Harlan Sturr. Please don't pee on him.")

Adam Selzer

#20. I had a dream about you. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You said you were thirsty, and I pointed to the sand that surrounded us and said, "No, I will not urinate in your mouth." At that point I woke up, because I realized I really had to pee - and get a drink of water.

Dora J. Arod

#21. Namely, when asked to pee on a person, shouldn't you make absolutely sure you've heard correctly?

Sara Barron

#22. When I tell you you'll fart and pee in your pants with terror.

Luo Guanzhong

#23. When people try to rain on your parade, ... pee on theirs

Josh Stern

#24. And the scary hairy vaginas in vacuum sealed packages!" "And the pee-in-your-ass-douches!

Lucian Bane

#25. I beat at him uselessly with my fists. I scream. My mind races. I'll pee on him. Puke, bite, scratch. Sure, I'll lose, but if he's going to mark me I am going to mark him, too, if such a thing is possible.

Cynthia Hand

#26. Having a little pee in your pants had to be better than being dinner for some redneck.

Christopher Paul Curtis

#27. A blanket could be used to wrap up all the love I have to offer you, so it'll be easier for you to carry it across the desert. You'd better get walking, because me and my camel won't be stopping until we have to pee.

Jarod Kintz

#28. I'll go to see movies, but I also love being at home on my couch and pausing every 10 minutes to pee.

Tim Heidecker

#29. To tell a group of adolescents who already know how to speak and write that that is the purpose of grammar is like telling someone that they need to read a history of toilets through the ages in order to pee and poop.

Muriel Barbery

#30. I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg.
I felt dirty and stupid.

Graham Parke

#31. My view is quite simple. When your dog pees on the carpet, you do not give away your dog. You say, This dog is special. I have to teach him not to pee on the carpet. I feel exactly the same way about men. They need to be taught things.

Jacqueline Bisset

#32. I decided I wouldn't pee on her if her heart was on fire.

Maya Angelou

#33. That's okay," Apollo replied, smiling at him in a wholly creepy' hide your kids' kind of way. "When you least expect it, I'm going to turn you into a a pink flower that smells like cat pee.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#34. And just like that she was crying.
I felt a little like That Guy who holds a baby at arm's length because he's afraid it's going to pee on him.

Tessa Gratton

#35. As long as you know 'to let' means to rent and not a place to pee, you're all set to travel in the UK. The lifts and the boots and everything else don't really matter.

Tucker Elliot

#36. I'm a guy. I pee and I miss the toilet. I take shits. I eat cheeseburgers. I watch baseball and drink beer.

Jasinda Wilder

#37. Next time you could just pee in a circle around me so that they know you've already been there.

Jay Crownover

#38. Marriage was nothing but a lot of dirty dishes and pee sprinkled on your toilet seat. With

Tarryn Fisher

#39. Pammy surges out of her seat, arm straining for the sky. She will apparently pee herself if she's not allowed to answer this question.

Josh Lieb

#40. Because when you're a 23-year old party girl who has to pee you don't really think about the possibility that your nerdy bouncer friend might suddenly start acting like a trench-coated pedophile who flashes kids at the park.

Kate Madison

#41. Florida needs a special prison for tourists. Not all tourists - just the ones who trash the place, rob, shoplift, vandalize, drive drunk, assault the cops, puke in the alleys, pee in the medians, and so on.

Carl Hiaasen

#42. I'm on the toilet at the 9:30 Club and I'm wondering how mermaids pee.

Becky Albertalli

#43. You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, Garrett joked.

Tara Sivec

#44. Pain is the only real emotion. Everything else can be taken away. Love,happiness,joy can always be taken away. Even old sadness can be dissipated if you pee enough ha-ha into it. But pain is pure

Walter Dean Myers

#45. Thomas, I can pull down you're pants and point you downwind, but even with the Lord's help I can't pee for you.

Bernard Cornwell

#46. Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.

Iggy Pop

#47. If boys were always trying to get in girls' pants, what did they want? What could the girls give them? Pee it seemed to me was an appropriate gift.

Eileen Myles

#48. But I will say that Harve Presnell ... he was one of those guys who, when you're standing in a room with him ... he's such an older masculine force that I remember thinking, 'Wow, his voice makes me sound like Pee-Wee Herman.'

Tony Hale

#49. I know. Life is so unfair. I'm still not going to pee on Karou's ex-boyfriend for you." "What? I wasn't even going to ask you to." In her most reasonable tone, Zuzana explained explained, "I just want you to pee in a balloon so I can drop it on him.

Laini Taylor

#50. Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.
How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?

John Green

#51. You have to try things you're really afraid of, even if you pee yourself a little bit.

Abigail Washburn

#52. I feel like...if you're in the shower with a boy, and he doesn't pee on you, he's not that into you. May

Asa Akira

#53. I scoop a clattering cascade of green apple Jelly Bellys into the white paper bag and remember when we were seven. I got stung by a jellyfish. Tim cried because his mother, and mine, wouldn't let him pee on my leg, which he'd heard was an antidote to the sting.

Huntley Fitzpatrick

#54. Life Lessons According to Camryn:
One must handle stress like a dog; if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away

Kelly Moran

#55. If you run out of gas, get a man to pee in your tank. Thanks mom, for that timeless piece of wisdom. My car exploded, ok?

Grace Feldman

#56. I should stalk over there and pee around his table to stake my claim. Wait ... what? Jeez, Kacey.

K.A. Tucker

#57. No, but it was a close call. Brought you something."
"Turtle pee?"
Cam laughed and shook his head as he reached into his backpack. "Sorry to let you down, but no." He pulled out papers stapled together. "It's a syllabus. I know. Thrilling shit right here.

J. Lynn

#58. A petty one, but most resentments are. And one that for its smallness I felt obliged to repress. For that matter, that is the nature of resentment, the objection we cannot express. It is silence more than the complaint itself that makes the emotion so toxic, like poisons the body won't pee away.

Lionel Shriver

#59. Oh for God's sake how divine can I be? My feet hurt, I have gas and I need to pee.

John Scalzi

#60. The more you cry, the less you'll pee, and peeing is more important.

Maya Angelou

#61. New Rule: Stop leaving couches on the sidewalk. Besides being lazy and ugly, it's animal cruelty. You teach your dog not to pee on the couch, and then when you take him to the place he's supposed to pee, there's a couch.

Bill Maher

#62. My anger subsides, I'd like to pee.

Samuel Beckett

#63. It's very little trouble for me to accommodate my fans, unless I'm actually taking a pee at the time.

Harrison Ford

#64. Will call him a she when the pee-pee is gone. Says Brave is to endure stares, jeers, prejudice. He won't.

Anne Lamott

#65. She did know that once tattooed one could no longer expect to lie for all eternity in an orthodox Jewish cemetery. They wouldn't even bury women with pierced ears. A strange theory of mutilation from the people who invented cutting the skin off the pee-pee.

Tom Robbins

#66. Never make a decision when you need to pee.

Leonard Cohen

#67. That's a wonderful side effect of leather pants: when you pee yourself in them, they're more forgiving than jeans.

Slash

#68. It's a great thing about being pregnant - you don't need excuses to pee or to eat.

Angelina Jolie

#69. I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.

Stella Lennon

#70. When Paris has to pee, Paris has to pee!

Paris Hilton

#71. I could actually care less about the poor. We have some living near us, and pee-yew. They are always coming and going to their three or four jobs at all hours of the day and night. Annoying!

George Saunders

#72. If she couldn't be with Harlen in Washington, DC, this was the place to be.
Sera's mobile screen lit, and she glanced down to find a text from him: I have to pee.

Erin Kellison

#73. Well, some men learn by listening, some read, some observe and analyze - and some of us just have to pee on the electric fence.

Spider Robinson

#74. I feel like I might start crying and that I'm going to cry pee.

John Green

#75. You can't pee like a puppy if you wanna run with the big dogs.

Nikki Sixx

#76. Hungry, tired, eyes sore, dying to pee, I would sit and take in every conceivable kind of movie. The only criterion for being shown at Canadian Images was that a movie be Canadian. It

Yann Martel

#77. [...] but personally if I never drink another crocodile pee I shall be a happy man.'
'Crocodile pee?'
'I always assumed that that was the main ingredient in Gatorade, but I may be wrong.

M.J. Trow

#78. I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee Here.

Sloane Crosley

#79. Look, man, I don't know what you're talking about. They put me in here last night, I slept in that bed" - he pointed to the one with the rumpled sheet and blanket - "and I woke up about five minutes ago and took a pee.

James Dashner

#80. I half expected you to whip out your dick and pee on me as you snarled at him and marked your territory.

Lorelei James

#81. I see a sign for a bathroom and rush toward it. It feels stupid to be thinking about something as ordinary as going to the bathroom right now, but people still have to pee, still have to cry, still have to be human, no matter what else is happening.

Wendy Mills

#82. This is the Speaker for the Dead? Judging someone by appearances?"
"Maybe I've fallen in love with Grego."
"You've always been a sucker for people who pee on you.

Orson Scott Card

#83. Listen to me. They may control what you do, but no one can pee on your soul without your permission.

A.S. King

#84. How many times I have explain? I pee over there, over there and over there. Technically make it Bigfoot territory.

Graham Roumieu

#85. I searched for something witty to say, settled for bare honesty. I want to pee.

Lili St. Crow

#86. We all have dream cars,dream houses and jobs but as soon as we stop dreaming we wake up go take a pee. the world is waiting out here don't just dream,make it a dream.

Mohlalefi J Motsima

#87. I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.

John Scalzi

#88. There are times I feel like I'm the kid screaming at the bottom of the well, and my dog runs off to pee on trees instead of getting help.

Neal Shusterman

#89. Klunk's another word for poo. Poo makes a klunk sound when it falls in our pee pots.

James Dashner

#90. I'm going to put a diaper on you for nap because you're still learning. You've done such a good job today, and your nap is a long time. You may not remember to pee when you're sleeping. When you wake up, we're going to take it right off.

Jamie Glowacki

#91. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

Judy Sheindlin

#92. There is no difference 'twixt you and 'twixt me, save that one stands and one sits when we pee.

Trisha Telep

#93. Is there some kind of rule for when Sam should be a boy and when he's a Wolf?"
"A Wolf lifts his leg and yellows up the snow. A boy has to use the toilet."
"And that will work?"
"Only if he needs to pee.

Anne Bishop

#94. I'm throwing my bound fists against the door, begging. Tied, blindfolded and in desperate need to pee, I start pacing in a pattern, trying to figure out how big the room is and what's inside.

L.J. Shen

#95. I now understand why God created shit and pee: to give even the desperate like me the possibility of refuge.

Pia Pera

#96. Why dwell on yesterday's pee when you can make a fresh one today?

Gloria D. Gonsalves

#97. Imagine that - a werewolf who lets a girl pee in private. Little bits of coolness in my totally fucked-up life. This place was full of surprises.

Elle Casey

#98. Had to pee his pants for a role, and when they tried to attach the pouch to him so that it would look real,, he shouted, 'No, I do all my own stunts. I got this.

Rachel Van Dyken

#99. Had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.

Stephen Colbert

#100. There was a young man from Stamboul, Who soliloquized thus to his tool: You took all my wealth And you ruined my health, And now you won't pee, you old fool.

Kurt Vonnegut